Mar 3 2025, 08:10 PM
QUOTE(quebix @ Mar 3 2025, 04:33 PM)
Just like u said somewhere in this thread....this makes the girl feel kinda cheap, easy, desperate, and lose the attractiveness to me.
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So, dont think your analyst guy is all that innocent! he might be exploiting his shyness to get you. lol.
advise:
the examples i given might sound like the girls were desperate and cheap, and yes they are. but yeah, i also have pursuers that have more class and tries to win my heart instead of my body, just like how you are doing with your analyst guy.
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it might not be cheap/whorish, but then again, your attempts to win his heart might also be seen as desperate.
it is not a game, but there should be some "hard to get" from both sides. he pull you push, you also need to pull sometimes and he learns how to push.
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Thanks for your detailed reply. ...
So, dont think your analyst guy is all that innocent! he might be exploiting his shyness to get you. lol.
advise:
the examples i given might sound like the girls were desperate and cheap, and yes they are. but yeah, i also have pursuers that have more class and tries to win my heart instead of my body, just like how you are doing with your analyst guy.
...
it might not be cheap/whorish, but then again, your attempts to win his heart might also be seen as desperate.
it is not a game, but there should be some "hard to get" from both sides. he pull you push, you also need to pull sometimes and he learns how to push.
...
Here's the full context behind my current actions, just so you're aware:
Back in September 2024, he pursued me first, initiated dates, but repeatedly cancelled them. His inconsistent behaviour left me feeling confused.
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
So, I decided to step back and give him the space to figure out his thoughts and emotions. Meanwhile, I went on dates with 10 other men—there were many who showed interest in me, and I decided to give each one a chance for three reasons: I wanted to feel desired again, I didn't want to close off my heart, and I wanted to remain open to new possibilities.
He was aware of these encounters because I openly shared my experiences on Facebook. I wrote about each pursuit and date—how I felt, what I learned about myself, and what I was looking for in my next relationship. My posts became a mix of personal introspection and an education for others who followed my journey. I shared my thoughts and insights on love and romance after becoming single again.
It was a form of inner healing for me, especially after ending an eight-year relationship and engagement that had left me heartbroken. Many of my friends, who had also gone through breakups or divorces, connected with my writing. They reached out privately to tell me how much comfort they found in my reflections, often drawing parallels with their own experiences.
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For five months, I didn’t speak to him at all. I put him aside because his actions, though unintentional, hurt me.
So, when he saw me meeting one man after another, I imagine he must have felt a mix of regret, jealousy, and uncertainty.
However, I believe my writing gave him clarity, as he understood exactly what I was looking for in my next partner. I was very clear about my expectations, detailing what I wanted from a future relationship and what I would offer in return.
He began signalling his interest again in December 2024, but I only started reciprocating in February 2025 (last month). He made another move, and I responded once more. The romantic gestures I made (listed in Approach 2) came after his five months of waiting in silence and loneliness, and they seem to have brought him a sense of comfort and reassurance.
Months of drought, and finally, some rain for three weeks. LOL.
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Given the context, I don't think my moves were desperate at all. This is something he’s craved badly.
I told him this is the first time I’ve ever courted a man like this. I’ve never done it for anyone else (fact!). If he’s smart, he’ll value it. Just because I’m making a few romantic moves doesn’t mean I’m lowering my worth. I’m simply reciprocating his signals and showing him a little extra affection. It’s a delicate dance between us.
With that said, I still prefer men to pursue or at least signal interest to women first. Personally, I have never taken the first step to pursue any man because I just can't. I'm so used to being pursued by men rather than the other way around. Hence, it feels incredibly difficult and awkward for me to pursue boldly and openly (like those ladies Quebix met). At best, I can only hint at some interest (like in Approach 1) and reciprocate (like in Approach 2).
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from then onwards, he did the chasing and eventual confession. 
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