Had mine when i was in my 20s, because of me too stubborn and stupid to accept reality then move on.

Met a girl > liked her > get friendzoned > still clinging on hope that she'll accept me one day if i stay on her side AKA continue simping > finally realising i've been failing for so long and getting tired > cut off contact with her > suffering from depression

Sometimes we have PH like 2 days then weekend right? For example PH on Thursday and Friday then weekend, 4 days off. When this happened, i lost track of time and date. Woke up rushing to shower and get ready, after awhile then i realised it was PH. During 4 days off, didn't even talk or text anyone. I play video games, can't even focus though it just a simple CSGO game. It was horrifying, until i understand why people committed suicide. It's like you reached at this place where you finally understand why people say this place sucks, then you just kind of wanna give up and stay at this shithole. Working performance wise was horrible, my senior realising this plus that time we lacked of staff so he and my manager advice me go see a therapist as they need me to get back on my feet. I still remember the place is in PJ, nice office and comfortable. Old lady, at first i was stubborn and kind of refuse to open up. I go there once every 2 week, eventually i opened up and share what's going on with me. I was crying when telling the therapist how much i love that girl, then so on and so forth. She helped guided me to get out of this then advice me to do some healthy and positive activities that is suitable for me. The question she kept asking me is that what is it i want or desired, beside finding a love partnet. I told her that when i was young, seeing Michael Schumacher racing in sepang and get 1st place is what i want to experience at least once. Unfortunately Michael retires long ago but sepang still there, so i still have a chance to experience this. There i go, alone to sepang during their merdeka endurance race. I don't know how to get into the pit, so i just seat at the viewer area. That was an eye opening experience for me, seating at the spot where people watching F1 race and hearing those loud car passing by really make free me up. At that time, i feel no sadness but all pure joy like a liitle kid going to disneyland. Tears of joy of disbelief and i was saved right at that moment, after months of suffering hating everything in my life then now i get to feel the joy again. It was right at that moment, i made a decision that i will be driving in sepang which i did multiple times. Participated in time attack and won some trophies, feels invisible at then.

Do i still try to find love partner, well i do and failed miserably. Lol even write some post in cupid corner asking for advice, after all i went through those rejection aren't so painful anymore. It does hurt in the beginning, after like a week or 2 then i be fine again. Not sure if i'm getting stronger or mentally stable or able to control my emotion much better, but i sure know that i'll get pass through rejection much better than before.

Nowadays i just do more workout at the gym like 5 - 6 times a week just doing HIIT exercises. Even participated the NISSAN redline games last year 2024, it's kind of like Hyrox but less extreme. Body fat reduced from 29% to 17% now since November, i even made a target to get like Sebastion Stan's winter solder physic by this April. Start eating and drinking healthily, cook my own meal make my own fruit smoothies etc. Sure feel better, start taking care of myself and hygiene. No funny smell, use deodarant everytime before leaving house.

End of 2025 to get my own house, keeping my ccris/ctos all 0 so i can get housing loan. After 2 - 3 years i should be living in my very own place, no more paying rent.

Everyone has his own way to dealt with their problems, mine is by working out. Whatever happened to Michael is unfortunate, still thanks to him that he kind of helped me get over my depression. I also learned that lots of times it was ourselves who locked us into this imaginary prison where most of the time we can just open the door and leave it, thinking it was lock while it's not. About having children, i don't have any yet so i can't say i understand. Still from what my married buddies told me, i would agreed with you about difficulties of finding time for yourself to do things you want after you have kids.

That's good though learning together with your kids, you seems like spending lots of quality times with them.

As for marriage, if i found the right women then let's do it. Else i'll just go travel the world, try different foods etc. Because TBH i'm kind of getting lazy and tired of finding love now that i'm in my mid 30s, sure i did say i can handle rejection but doesn't mean that i want to get rejected again and again. It still hurts though i know it only awhile, no normal human beings enjoy getting hurt.

Face problems bro lol, anyway all jokes aside i talk to or treat womens with respect. A bit sense of humour but not too dark, no pervy talks or act or any negative things. Still failed, now i just too lazy to try again.

Thanks for the advice but now my motivation is more on working out and get ripped, again for love if there’s one then fine else i don’t really care. Hey look at the bright side, at least i don’t have to suffer rejection right lol.

This really reminds me of my part time property agent work lol, yes there's only 3 out of 10 leads that really turned to sales.

Last year i did attend some speed dating event, pricing like 100++ per events with foods and drinks. Matched with few womens there but our conversation just went cold in texting, they never initiate the chat though and it was me who often initiate it. Not sure if this is the "boys must always initiate the first move" kind of thingy or what, TBH this is kind of exhausting and i feels like i'm the desperate one or a simp which i hated. Some of my buddies ask me to rejoin again this year, lol even the organiser been texting me to join their event again. If i have the time then why not right?

How was the man and women look in the event? Well probably some of you might be curious, i would say lower down your expectation for oppa or typical asian drama prtty ladies looks if you really going to this kind of events. To me they're average like most of us here, look decent, clean, tidy, neat and no funny smell. No sugar coating here, 3 out of 10 there kind of overweight as well.

Wow now that you say so, that sounded kind of like a scam when they asking ladies join just to fill in the quota though most of them aren't interested to find a boyfriend. There are few events cost like 300++ to join, looking at the event agenda nothing special compares to other events. Just the place a bit fancy and serving alcoholic drinks, that's all. And those ladies went cold towards me, think again what you said they possibly those "invited" guest by the organiser and if so then the organiser really invited lots of ladies for this. They charging like 100++ per person and they have around 10 - 20 participants, quite amount of money they earned.

Oh well then, since i already paid for 1 event on february then i'll just go and talk to the ladies like usual, now that i'm having a sceptical mindset towards this kind of events after what you said just now lol.

Oh brother, that's why i suffer depression expecting she be changed her mind and picked me instead. Learned this the hard way...

Last time we have 15 mens and 15 womens in christian single event, i get 5 matches but i didn't contact them all. Not because of they're not pretty or attractive, don't get me wrong. Just that during our conversation there at the event, they(my matches) shared 1 common which is looking for a christian man that is a frequent church goers. Too bad i'm not really a frequent church goer though i'm a christian, so i decided not waste their time.

This post has been edited by Napalm_man: Jan 21 2025, 05:13 PM

About the keep attracting new believer, yes i did encountered that. Why am i not a frequent church goer is that TBH i really cannot tahan religious people, kind of extremism and i kid you not. The church i use to go usually married people with children, hard to see people in 20s 30s who are still single. Whenever i go to the church though not frequent, i did my parts and i left. Small talks yes but just a quick one, no deep conversation. No bro i don't blame you for sharing your stories from another christian as i do encountered this before, sadly it's true.

Me personally i keep religion all by myself, i don't talk about it unless people ask me. I don't mind marrying women from other religion than christian except muslim because they are much more complicated, if i ever marry a buddhist for example then i don't mind if my wife stick to buddhist and put altar in our home. For our kids i would prefer them decide when they mature enough, follow daddy as christian or mommy as buddhist. Many people misconcept that christian people will be asking their partner to change their fate which i don't blame them since some christian does, there's no law stated we christian must do this after married same as other religions at least from what i know except islam.

Lucky for them or sort of, i don’t pray before eat and frequently going to church. Other Christian might see me as a liberal or a stray, that’s how i practice my religion and i don’t see this is a problem.

Yea i would try to find those who’s not committed to religion too much like me, probably the best. Lol if i ever find one of course.

What i do is that i would just be frank before we go further, better inform them early so we won't be wasting our time. If they're ok with me keeping religion by myself and them keep practice theirs, then ok nice let's go.

About the devoted christian, yea it is hard to find because they just keep it for themselves. So yea what you said makes sense.

You know bro, lots of times i think religion is the cause of conflict. Religion suppose to guide us, teaching us to be a better person. But when it became a cause of conflict, no wonder why many people just ditch them. This is also a reason why i kept my religion all for myself, people ask then i share else no need share. Everything must follow religion, unknowingly we lost our humanity while doing so. People might hate me for saying this, but humanity first then religion second.

Just hope if one day i do find one, better not a religious one or at least don't mind what i'm practising if different religion.