Sep 11 2023, 03:22 PM
QUOTE(GambitFire @ Aug 28 2023, 09:53 AM)
Hey all just wanna get some opinion regarding marriage or how does one know if they are ready to tie the knot..my story is below will summarise it to the best I can
I'm a 33 year old dude and I'm currently dating a 30 year old lady..we met on a dating app early last year and have been in a serious relationship for about 1 year now..last month when we are hanging out and talking, the topic of marriage came out..she asked me what is my plan and when do I want to settle down.
Now this marriage topic has been a big problem for me. Previously in my last two relationships whenever this topic comes out and my answer was I don't know, the relationship goes downhill from there. The girl will be like I'm wasting her time and you get the drift..
Now with my current relationship, I'm trying to be more tactful. So I told her I want to get married but I just don't know when like I'm not sure of the timeline. I think she was not happy with my answer and she started saying things like so why are u with me? Don't u feel we are wasting time? Bla bla bla..then she said she needs to rethink about our current relationship and giving me a cold treatment now.
Why does everything have to be about marriage for women? We had a good time together as a couple, we talked, we hangout, we are there for one another and yet that is not enough? Only marriage dictates happiness? I have been having a hard time to address this marriage topic whenever I'm with someone..I just don't know when I will be ready so does that mean I shouldn't date anybody? Is it my fault? Just help a brother out on this? Totally lost on what to do..
In simplistic terms, make it known on the first date itself that you're not into marriage yet, and don't know when that can happen. If they stick with you for a while, then it's not on you.I'm a 33 year old dude and I'm currently dating a 30 year old lady..we met on a dating app early last year and have been in a serious relationship for about 1 year now..last month when we are hanging out and talking, the topic of marriage came out..she asked me what is my plan and when do I want to settle down.
Now this marriage topic has been a big problem for me. Previously in my last two relationships whenever this topic comes out and my answer was I don't know, the relationship goes downhill from there. The girl will be like I'm wasting her time and you get the drift..
Now with my current relationship, I'm trying to be more tactful. So I told her I want to get married but I just don't know when like I'm not sure of the timeline. I think she was not happy with my answer and she started saying things like so why are u with me? Don't u feel we are wasting time? Bla bla bla..then she said she needs to rethink about our current relationship and giving me a cold treatment now.
Why does everything have to be about marriage for women? We had a good time together as a couple, we talked, we hangout, we are there for one another and yet that is not enough? Only marriage dictates happiness? I have been having a hard time to address this marriage topic whenever I'm with someone..I just don't know when I will be ready so does that mean I shouldn't date anybody? Is it my fault? Just help a brother out on this? Totally lost on what to do..
It is a known expectation that when one gets into a relationship at that age, it will come a point where it's to proceed to the next level. Are you concerned that if you spell it out early, you won't get a date at all? If you are, then you're being the selfish party. And it can be vice versa where a girl dates a boy with the girl not wanting to get married. But the dude is ready to tie the know just after 3-6 months.
Marriage is a normal progression. If you're intending to take the not so common route, then be upfront early into the dates. Or as some suggested, date the teens or early 20s.
No. Marrriage does not dictate happiness. But it provides assurances and some form of security.
Look, you don't want to waste time, neither do they. Just get straight to the point if dating shows there is interest early on. You don't want to be misled, neither do they.
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