.
In that case, BillCollector will likely have to spend a few mornings to dig out the forum to prove to his knife-wielding "Lorena Bobbitt" wife that lurkingaround is actually a man, ie not a woman rival like the Swedish girl.
.

Haha, that's not the point, I don't think she would approve of how much TS is sharing about.. stuff

.
If BillCollector publishes a novel based on his own life, he would already be sharing most of his life with the general public. Mentioning lurkingaround in the novel would just be a small part of the sharing. IIRC, a female forummer even suggested herself selling BillCollector's drama-story rights to a TV station, eg HK TVB.

So, if his wife disapproves of the sharing, she would not allow BillCollector to publish such a novel at all since it would have her as one of the main "bitchy" characters.

Afaik, most old folks do not mind their life story being told, warts and all, eg Steve Jobs of Apple during his last decade on earth after getting pancreatic cancer.
.

I doubt I would publish such a novel until after she had passed on, might get murdered after that as she finally would know the truth on who I was sleeping with when we were first married....... she won't be happy to find out who.

Oh God!!! Why would you did that??? Uncle bill, sometimes you are very logical, but sometimes.. don’t be upset lah if one day your future son in law treated your daughter just the way you treated your wife.

people do mistakes. i was stupid as well when i was young

Why??? During that time I was simply very frustrated with her and her family. She found it difficult to say no to them and I had my qualms of helping them with the type of help they wanted. There were simply too many bad fights in a short time and I felt I needed to seek refuge elsewhere.

These days I treat her much better.

I just can’t believe somebody who could be very logic and open like you could do that lah. I mean, I always thought you are the one who gonna asses the level of your in-laws and wife b*llshit then decided to take it or leave it. When you take it, means you are just deal with it, when you leave it you just cut off/divorce and get your new life. I believe that a real man is the one who’s not afraid of divorce, yet won’t get involved into extramarital affair. Which one you prefer? Son in law who tell you “bill, I can’t take your wife and your daughter bullshit anymore, so I’ll divorce her.” Or just f*cking around behind your daughter?....

hate to break it to you, but reading your stories on how you slept with other women whilst still being married & how you ripped your FIL off, I can comfortably say the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

I never once claimed I was a saint now did I?

I don't need anyone's honor or respect, never asked for it either and don't expect it in any case.

Ripped him off?? I viewed it as me being smart. You surely aren't advocating me just giving it to him now are you? You surely can't be blaming me for wanting the best deal possible when it comes to investing and it wasn't my fault he took the lowest though quickest offer.

Where do you draw the line at making a quick buck? I'm pretty sure I would draw the line at family..

But that's what happens when you grow up without a father..

You don't know where the limits in morality and ethical behaviour are.. You never had a stronger man, usually a father, to properly put you in your place.. This is why having a masculine father is important for young boys.. Fathers are there to teach their sons, by forcing compliance through raised voices and if necessary through using blunt force to impart a hard message of being compliant and agreeable. The wolf was never domesticated to be a Sheppard dog.

and the opposite of compliance is a destructive male who never learnt any hard limits, so in their eyes, everything goes. And if they have self-narcissistic tendencies then in all likelihood, they will develop to become malevolent Dark Triad psychopaths, and a skilled Machiavellian..

Not entirely your fault here either. You are just a victim of circumstances..

These sort of male figure is the total opposite of what we should be creating and a huge reason why our society is fracturing and falling into bad times.

There is no reasoning with such a person. In their eyes, decisions are made in absolute resolution. The only way to force compliance here is to dish out a beat down. But as there is no authoritarian figure in your life anymore, the likelihood of a bigger male figure in your life forcing you to comply and be more agreeable is low.

In other words, the only person that can recognise these destructive behaviour is yourself.. put yourself in the old dog position here. If you can empathize with his position, then you would know how much he is hurting and maybe you should afford him some respite and relief in the form of not taking advantage of him.

This post has been edited by Liamness: Feb 24 2020, 09:55 AM

Well, I don't think this applies to every case. I mean both TS' Father-in-law and Step father can be said to be 'masculine man of the house' type of person.. And look how things turned out, especially with step father and his eldest son.

They were absent of didn't bother much with educating Pak Bill.

The critical stages is usually between teenager and before becoming an adult.

During that time, a masculine father was missing from his life.

I meant looks how things turned out for step father's children which he educated (not including TS).

That's completely different though. Being a completely useless bum is different from a person that lacks empathy and has dark triad tendencies.

That’s true, tho it's obvious that TS' step father and step brother did not emphasise with TS or educate / guide him and instead chose to ship him off overseas.

This post has been edited by V429: Feb 24 2020, 10:37 AM

ya, that's why I said not TS fault.. he was a victim of his circumstances.

But only person who can alter and recognise this destructive behaviour is TS. He can still change himself but he needs to recognise where it's coming from.

From what I read, I think he has

.
Quite agree with your assessment.

IIRC, when he started earning and working as an architect, TS's purpose in life was to own 40 houses by 40 yo = belief in mammon god, even though he was a baby-Christian. He pursued it legally but wrt his FIL, it was immorality against family, like dishonoring your father and mother(= broke God's Law in the Bible). To fulfil this greedy purpose in life, he even gave up a happy family life with his ideal Swedish gf = ended up with a troubled family life with a non-Christian Malaysian Chinese wife.

OTOH, his sonless FIL ended up with a brain-stroke by pursuing the birth-surname-right offer from his Team B's pregnant youngest daughter. His belief in traditional Chinese custom of patriarchy and ancestor-worship caused him to pursue it.

So, our purpose in life is mostly derived from who and what we belief. False or wrong beliefs = wrong purpose in life = wrong actions or deeds.

Hope TS repents or changes for the better, which seems so = his life getting better or less troubled.

Good day to all.
.

Thought you said to take my share then get lost and he should be sent to his early grave? Now you are asking me to have empathy for him??

Which is which again?

FYI, I did not take advantage of him, I helped him as best as I could have.

I took on most of his properties for what was outstanding on it + topup some cash and I did tell him when he had the money he could buy it back from me for a good price.

The only one that I did not give him that option was the first one I bought off him because I bought it to restore and develop the know-how on how to sort out crappy Malaysian made houses.

He did try to redeem one such property but it turned out his idea of being able to buy it back was something where I paid him RM900,000 for it in 2012 and I gave them the option to continue living in it for RM888 per month which he accepted, then behind our backs he moved out and rented it to an illegal kindergarten for RM3,500 per month. In 2019 he wanted to buy it back for RM500,000 and insisted that was what a good price meant.

I did have a very good guardian during that stage of my life. An excellent man he was sadly I never got to thank him for all he did for me but he probably never would have wanted me to thank him anyway.

You forgot my 1st principle in life money = power = freedom. That was far more important than 40 houses by 40yo.

Also that Swedish woman is a diehard atheist