What? You think he is vincent tan billionaire with a conglomerate?
Lmao..

This sort of FIL is a bloody joke.. if he were my father in law, I'd have absolutely zero respect for him. Zero.

and folks, this is why being a self-made, self-independent person is and will always be the proper way to go..

I'm a firm believer that once you reach 18, you are on your own.. especially if you are a male.. family business and relatives be damned.. if they are drawing from family, the more mouths feeding on the nipple is going to drain the milk faster! I've seen it all too well.. friends who can't buy a house because their parents already used my friends names to get business or housing loans.. Multi-generational family staying under one roof.. cousins, brothers, sisters.. all a fucking mess and comparison/unfairness that I wonder what the hell are you putting yourself through all of that for..

Sure, you can depend on your parents for support starting off.. but eventually, you need to be weaning off your parents support. So they can use their peak working years to save up a nest for their own retirement.. That way, all sides won't be left in a shit storm like how TS family undergoing now..

I think this is the ONLY good thing to learn from Ang-mo. As they believe in independence once you turn 18.

the main issue with TS family stems from the FIL having multiple wives and multi-generational kids.. He is in his twilight years of life, but still have kids as young as 20 to support?? that is crazy..

The writing is on the wall. FIL is going to die penniless and he will drag families from all over down with him. My suggestion would be to cut ties ASAP. Don't even bother sorting this out.. Get your share and get the fuck out.

This post has been edited by Liamness: Nov 28 2019, 02:42 PM

Well, as someone who has lived independently since turning 18, I have been entirely self-reliant and not taken a single penny from my parents that I have not returned..

When you have lived life the way I have, you will see how I don't believe on relying on others to support you.

Also, due to me not taking money (this includes self-funding a 4 year engineering degree by working a full-time job & getting an education loan in my own name), my parents actually manage to purchase 2 more property and paid them off in 15 years.. They have been making an earning from the rental and are self-sufficient in their retirement years now.

So yeah, if you are like me, then your conscience is very clear.. I do not owe my parents a living and they've managed to set themselves up very nicely.

If you are like TS.. then that's just too bad.. you've got to know though that your FIL cannot be saved and maybe should consider to start feeding him junk food to put him into an early grave.

This post has been edited by Liamness: Nov 28 2019, 04:31 PM

There's a duty and responsibility to raise your child to adulthood. Since you, the parent brought the child to this world.
So again, no, i dont believe the resources spent by your parents during your upbringing counts as a drain. Responsible parents would know about the costs associated in bringing kids to this world and have budgeted accordingly.

But once your child reaches adulthood (around 17 or 18), they start becoming less dependent on their parents and should begin supporting themselves..

My conscience is clear. And I have helped my parents tremendously by not draining their resources once i have turned 18. My university education was fully funded by myself. Do you realise how much that helps your old folks? They bought two additional properties and now they are worth hundreds of thousands if not a million each. They can sell that and pay for the remainder of their lives. They dont have to depend on me whatsoever.

You see.. this is why it is so important to be self reliant.

why? Seems like the kid has got a good head on his shoulders and is willing to make his own way in life.

Buying a PC on your own is a great first start for a teen. I know I did the same thing too when I was 15. I managed a small business selling toys and flowers during events such as valentine, graduation, etc at my high school, I was also the go to person for catering as my Mum had a cafeteria running. She shared a % of the profit with me.

I made enough money that year to afford my own electric guitar, and a 2nd hand gaming PC.

As a parent myself, I don't believe in 'buying' whatever the kid wants.. That's robbing them of critical life skills. You should teach your kids skills and lessons that build their resilience, resourcefulness and character. Not just clear obstacles and a path for your child, removing frustration, failure and risk-reward.. that's called plow-parenting and why we have so many weak snow-flakes in the world today.. They are fucking up their child by making life easy for them.

I'm a very firm believer of what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. And like a weight-lifter, you need to keep practicing and lifting heavier and heavier things until you become great at it. It is the only way.

This post has been edited by Liamness: Nov 29 2019, 10:19 AM

hate to break it to you, but reading your stories on how you slept with other women whilst still being married & how you ripped your FIL off, I can comfortably say the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

Where do you draw the line at making a quick buck? I'm pretty sure I would draw the line at family..

But that's what happens when you grow up without a father..

You don't know where the limits in morality and ethical behaviour are.. You never had a stronger man, usually a father, to properly put you in your place.. This is why having a masculine father is important for young boys.. Fathers are there to teach their sons, by forcing compliance through raised voices and if necessary through using blunt force to impart a hard message of being compliant and agreeable. The wolf was never domesticated to be a Sheppard dog.

and the opposite of compliance is a destructive male who never learnt any hard limits, so in their eyes, everything goes. And if they have self-narcissistic tendencies then in all likelihood, they will develop to become malevolent Dark Triad psychopaths, and a skilled Machiavellian..

Not entirely your fault here either. You are just a victim of circumstances..

These sort of male figure is the total opposite of what we should be creating and a huge reason why our society is fracturing and falling into bad times.

There is no reasoning with such a person. In their eyes, decisions are made in absolute resolution. The only way to force compliance here is to dish out a beat down. But as there is no authoritarian figure in your life anymore, the likelihood of a bigger male figure in your life forcing you to comply and be more agreeable is low.

In other words, the only person that can recognise these destructive behaviour is yourself.. put yourself in the old dog position here. If you can empathize with his position, then you would know how much he is hurting and maybe you should afford him some respite and relief in the form of not taking advantage of him.

This post has been edited by Liamness: Feb 24 2020, 09:55 AM

They were absent of didn't bother much with educating Pak Bill.

The critical stages is usually between teenager and before becoming an adult.

During that time, a masculine father was missing from his life.

That's completely different though. Being a completely useless bum is different from a person that lacks empathy and has dark triad tendencies.

ya, that's why I said not TS fault.. he was a victim of his circumstances.

But only person who can alter and recognise this destructive behaviour is TS. He can still change himself but he needs to recognise where it's coming from.