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 Q on in-laws situation (Updates), Updated.

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SUSlurkingaround
post Jan 30 2020, 06:06 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Jan 23 2020, 02:22 AM)
The final reason that caused the cold war is MIL found out wife is carrying a boy and a girl, wife told her mother both of them will be named the same way as our son, her mother requested that the boy follow her family name so the father can have his wish come true. Wife told her mother to forget it as it wasn't happening. 

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Any chance of your MIL paying you about RM300k or contra something else valuable to you to buy the birthname right of the baby-boy that is growing in your wife's belly, like what Team B had offered your FIL last year.?
....... Maybe, look at it as your last parting gift to your 'not-going-to-last-very-long' FIL who had doted on your wife some years ago when she was still studying.
.

This post has been edited by lurkingaround: Jan 30 2020, 06:12 PM
SUSBillCollector
post Jan 30 2020, 06:20 PM

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QUOTE(KennyKB @ Jan 27 2020, 12:39 PM)
Let me get this straight TS. So the main bone of contention with your wife was the financial help that she insisted that you should give to her parents and relatives? Most wives will just accept no for an answer. It's rare to put such financial help above her marriage and breakup because of it. I hope her attitude is better now and the beggars feel guilty about causing your marriage to breakup.
*
The troubles mostly came because of the way it started and what it progressed into. In the beginning I simply didn't mind the idea of paying to appease as it mostly involved small sums of money for me, she viewed it that I was taking some initiative to get on with her parents.

Then it progressed to loans. Small amounts at first and mostly below RM10,000 and for short spans of time, then it progressed towards bigger amounts and taking longer to pay. Much of this I didn't care all that much as he had introduced contacts that the profits from the deals I struct with them were much more than the amount he borrowed especially as many of those deals had very quick payouts. Basically he would ask to borrow RM30-50,000 for 6 months and usually every 3-4 months I'd have had a deal that made RM30,000 and some where I got lucky I earned near RM100,000 that RM30,000 he borrowed??? He paid then good, did not pay then never mind as one of his contacts would have helped me to earn far more than that.

Then when the amount he wanted to borrow became 6 figures and spanning a year, I decided I didn't want to be the one that bankrolled them and preferred a different approach. It also came at a time when the outlays to earn from his contacts started costing more as it was no more buying properties on the bargain but we were syndicating with developers to take up entire floors or blocks of the development. I decided to buy up what he owned instead, since he was rather desperate for money all the residential real estate I bought from him were extremely good deals if you knew what to do with them as they were mostly in bad or very bad shape but all had very nice numbers. Wife did not know this was going on, I told her to ask her father to deal directly with me and we struck deals in private using a banker she had introduced to me. She only found out because her banker friend asked her how come all the real estate I bought I did not put her name on it. She was very angry when she found out as she thought I was trying to profit from her family's hardship when I could have just helped him out without resorting to that type of underhanded tactics.

During the time when I would offer to buy, they started asking her directly for small amounts of money all the time which meant she was forever broke and broke to the point that one time she basically had no money to eat lunch or service her car and drove her car with very worn tires. She didn't tell me of her issues as she knew I didn't like knowing off money troubles and she knew darn well she was not in a position to be having money troubles as other than her car payment, fuel and maintenance she didn't need to pay a single sen for absolutely anything at all.

It did piss me off that she made that type of decisions and we fought a lot over it then I simply let her be as ultimately it was her money that she was using to help her parents.

There were 2 incidents over 12 years where she actually did asked me to fork out money to help her parents.

First incident :-
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


The 2nd incident :-
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


She has definitely changed a lot since then.
SUSBillCollector
post Jan 30 2020, 06:25 PM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Jan 30 2020, 04:40 PM)
Ahh.. Ok. Almost forgot about the twins. Apologies.
*
How was your CNY??

How goes with your apartment? Wife returned to Penang?
SUSBillCollector
post Jan 30 2020, 06:55 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 30 2020, 06:06 PM)
.
Any chance of your MIL paying you about RM300k or contra something else valuable to you to buy the birthname right of the baby-boy that is growing in your wife's belly, like what Team B had offered your FIL last year.?
....... Maybe, look at it as your last parting gift to your 'not-going-to-last-very-long' FIL who had doted on your wife some years ago when she was still studying.
.
*
Let's get some facts straight first, he may have mortgaged a house to send her to Britain but the reality of it I bought that house off him for more than it was worth. He said he spent RM380,000 for time in Britain. When he tried collecting money from her to repay that RM380,000 I bought that house for RM860,000 and a similar house was worth around RM1,200,000 back then if it was in good condition. It cost me RM880,000 to repair, restore and modernize it. Works done? Demolished all the extensions, removed all the roman pillars, converted it from 6 bedrooms to 4 bedrooms, 2 toilets to 5 toilets, new roof and ceiling, new windows and doors, "new" timber floors for the bedrooms, new tiled floors for the rest of the house, new landscape, new fence and gates, new electrical system and new plumbing system. Then it was rented out to a PRC bloke who does some import export business. She should be thankful to me instead.

I don't need to give him any gifts as in the last 12 years I've done more than enough to help him by buying up most of his real estate portfolio. Most of them have ended up the same story as the cost to fix it made it go beyond the market value. I suppose I could have used his style of renovations and constructions that would have made it significantly cheaper to fix but I don't do that type of fixes. The only thing of real value that I took on and became profitable was the factory but that was mostly down to the White managers that manage it.

I do not sell out my children and you should know in the grand scheme of things RM300,000 means very little to me.

Finally there is no reason for me to give any honors to someone who is essentially a poor and despicable man that much of his life was an adulterer and scammer.


V429
post Jan 30 2020, 08:36 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Jan 30 2020, 06:25 PM)
How was your CNY??

How goes with your apartment? Wife returned to Penang?
*
-still trying to sell the apartment, so wife still remains at KL. Lowered the price a bit and seek out more agents.

-CNY was better than expected. This is the first year wife spent CNY at my place, so there were a lot of uncertainty for her as we weren't quite sure of the expectation placed on her as the new daughter-in-law of our family and also extended family. I stayed closed to her almost all of the time but turns out we overestimated it and things went OK.

-As there are a bit of friction between my father and me, I am relieved that he didn't say anything to cause awkwardness or uneasiness during CNY.

-It was my first year giving instead of receiving angpow, and I am happy to do so as I see it as 'paying it forward' if that makes sense.

-My 2 married elder sisters visited this year and it's always nice to see them again.

So overall CNY was pretty good smile.gif
Le8055
post Jan 30 2020, 11:59 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Jan 30 2020, 06:20 PM)
Before the house was demolished I painted in red their family name at 4 spots on the facade and on every glass pane as well as a PRC flag above the main door. I then hired a CAT excavator and attached an American and British flag to the cab
*
What is the significance of this? You were demolishing a house but you wasted money buying paint?

Your FIL definitely had a thing for shortcuts and risky calculations.
V429
post Jan 31 2020, 10:45 AM

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QUOTE(Le8055 @ Jan 30 2020, 11:59 PM)
What is the significance of this? You were demolishing a house but you wasted money buying paint?

Your FIL definitely had a thing for shortcuts and risky calculations.
*
TS explained in another post some time ago. Spent the whole morning trying to dig it out but failed. Darn it.

Basically it's an act of revenge, like a middle finger to his Father in Law (and by extention FIL's family). He painted their family name on the building (loan shark style I'd imagine) and hung a PRC flag to signify their 'chinese-ness' and all the Chinese way of life they tried to force on TS, and demolished the building with a excavator with attached US & UK flags as they represent what the values that TS stood for.

Also, his FIL is just greedy and overly confident he can get away with bad things he did, at least from what I read so far.
SUSrenomahans
post Jan 31 2020, 01:24 PM

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This is what happens when you mess your life around with too many women

1st wife
2nd wife
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SUSlurkingaround
post Jan 31 2020, 06:19 PM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Jan 31 2020, 10:45 AM)
TS explained in another post some time ago. Spent the whole morning trying to dig it out but failed. Darn it.

Basically it's an act of revenge, like a middle finger to his Father in Law (and by extention FIL's family). He painted their family name on the building (loan shark style I'd imagine) and hung a PRC flag to signify their 'chinese-ness' and all the Chinese way of life they tried to force on TS, and demolished the building with a excavator with attached US & UK flags as they represent what the values that TS stood for.

Also, his FIL is just greedy and overly confident he can get away with bad things he did, at least from what I read so far.
*
.
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/4835181/+20 - post #29
.

V429
post Jan 31 2020, 06:28 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 31 2020, 06:19 PM)
LOL! You found it! Yeah, this is the one.
Le8055
post Feb 1 2020, 05:06 AM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Jan 31 2020, 10:45 AM)
TS explained in another post some time ago. Spent the whole morning trying to dig it out but failed. Darn it.

Basically it's an act of revenge, like a middle finger to his Father in Law (and by extention FIL's family). He painted their family name on the building (loan shark style I'd imagine) and hung a PRC flag to signify their 'chinese-ness' and all the Chinese way of life they tried to force on TS, and demolished the building with a excavator with attached US & UK flags as they represent what the values that TS stood for.

Also, his FIL is just greedy and overly confident he can get away with bad things he did, at least from what I read so far.
*
Thank you for the analysis.

I could not imagine how someone such as his FIL could be in the business of building and selling homes to the public. The stunt he pulled with that shops seem down right dangerous to me. One absolute certainty is if you pulled that type of stunts in PRC you won't remain alive for long. I guess with the existence of persons such as billcollector's FIL I finally can understand why my MIL would only live in a house that she herself commissioned contractors to build or was built by either Sime Darby or Sunway.

Both Billcollector and his FIL should be thankful they do not live in Switzerland as both could look forward to spending time behind bars. One for being an outright crook and the other for emotional abuse of a spouse.
SUSBillCollector
post Feb 3 2020, 02:32 PM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Jan 30 2020, 08:36 PM)
-still trying to sell the apartment, so wife still remains at KL. Lowered the price a bit and seek out more agents.

-CNY was better than expected. This is the first year wife spent CNY at my place, so there were a lot of uncertainty for her as we weren't quite sure of the expectation placed on her as the new daughter-in-law of our family and also extended family. I stayed closed to her almost all of the time but turns out we overestimated it and things went OK.

-As there are a bit of friction between my father and me, I am relieved that he didn't say anything to cause awkwardness or uneasiness during CNY.

-It was my first year giving instead of receiving angpow, and I am happy to do so as I see it as 'paying it forward' if that makes sense.

-My 2 married elder sisters visited this year and it's always nice to see them again.

So overall CNY was pretty good smile.gif
*
I did not know you are newly married, congrats.

Seems things worked out well for you.

Hopefully the apartment sells soon, still unwilling to rent it out?

QUOTE(Le8055 @ Jan 30 2020, 11:59 PM)
What is the significance of this? You were demolishing a house but you wasted money buying paint?

Your FIL definitely had a thing for shortcuts and risky calculations.
*
Lurkingaround was free enough to dig it out and I wrote why I did it there.

In short, I was simply being an ass.

Shortcuts = quick money. He had no qualms doing that and risky calculations, you had to understand the mentality of the real estate industry back then, it was in the middle of a bubble, basically anything with 4 walls and a roof would sell like hotcakes, he knew no one would care as most bought it simply to speculate and most likely it would remain empty for years.

QUOTE(Le8055 @ Feb 1 2020, 05:06 AM)
Thank you for the analysis.

I could not imagine how someone such as his FIL could be in the business of building and selling homes to the public. The stunt he pulled with that shops seem down right dangerous to me. One absolute certainty is if you pulled that type of stunts in PRC you won't remain alive for long. I guess with the existence of persons such as billcollector's FIL I finally can understand why my MIL would only live in a house that she herself commissioned contractors to build or was built by either Sime Darby or Sunway.

Both Billcollector and his FIL should be thankful they do not live in Switzerland as both could look forward to spending time behind bars. One for being an outright crook and the other for emotional abuse of a spouse.
*
I like living in Malaysia for a reason smile.gif

V429
post Feb 3 2020, 02:43 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Feb 3 2020, 02:32 PM)
I did not know you are newly married, congrats.

Seems things worked out well for you.

Hopefully the apartment sells  soon, still unwilling to rent it out?
*
Thanks smile.gif

Currently will not rent it out for now, wife is worried having tenants might make it difficult for potential buyers to view the house. One agent did share a peculiar case where he came across a tenant who demanded there can only be just 1 viewing when they are staying there (not sure whether this is in the contract or not).
SUSBillCollector
post Feb 3 2020, 04:28 PM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Feb 3 2020, 02:43 PM)
Thanks smile.gif

Currently will not rent it out for now, wife is worried having tenants might make it difficult for potential buyers to view the house. One agent did share a peculiar case where he came across a tenant who demanded there can only be just 1 viewing when they are staying there (not sure whether this is in the contract or not).
*
It can indeed be problematic to have tenants in the unit when you are trying to sell it.

Hopefully it sells soon and at a good price.
V429
post Feb 3 2020, 04:41 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Feb 3 2020, 04:28 PM)
It can indeed be problematic to have tenants in the unit when you are trying to sell it.

Hopefully it sells soon and at a good price.
*
Thank you. Yup, hope this can be settled soon as LDR is not ideal.

I also hope this new year will be prosperous and peaceful for you and your family. Have a nice day smile.gif
SUSlurkingaround
post Feb 3 2020, 05:06 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Feb 3 2020, 02:32 PM)
Lurkingaround was free enough to dig it out and I wrote why I did it there.

In short, I was simply being an ass.
*
.
Took me less than 3 minutes to dig it out, and not a whole morning.

When you retire, you should write a novel based on your eventful life. If so, don't forget to mention lurkingaround. biggrin.gif
.

SUSBillCollector
post Feb 3 2020, 05:09 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Feb 3 2020, 05:06 PM)
.
Took me less than 3 minutes to dig it out, and not a whole morning.

When you retire, you should write a novel based on your eventful life. If so, don't forget to mention lurkingaround.  biggrin.gif
.
*
I cannot afford to retire sad.gif

Not with 2 newborns on the way this late in life.
SUSlurkingaround
post Feb 3 2020, 05:38 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Feb 3 2020, 05:09 PM)
I cannot afford to retire sad.gif

Not with 2 newborns on the way this late in life.
*
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You should think and retire the American/angmoh way, ie at about 70 years old = your twins will be about 27 years old.
....... Only mostly Asians and Chinese retire at about 60 years old.
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/11/if-you-cant...im-social-.html - If you can’t wait until 70, this is the next best age to claim Social Security benefits - 2018

Come to think of it, Malaysia and East Asia is a small market for the suggested novel like yours = you should have married the Swedish girl. smile.gif
.

P S - You retiring at about 70 yo = more grandmother story for you to tell us, ie in the 2040s. smile.gif
.

This post has been edited by lurkingaround: Feb 3 2020, 07:48 PM
V429
post Feb 3 2020, 07:04 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Feb 3 2020, 05:06 PM)
When you retire, you should write a novel based on your eventful life. If so, don't forget to mention lurkingaround.  biggrin.gif
*
I don't think he can include you, it's gonna lead to a whole lot of questions from his wife. Lol! I can already imagine her reaction tongue.gif

Who is this lurkingaround in your novel?
He's from where? Forum??? What forum!?
What you post there!?
Show me! SHOW ME RIGHT NOW!

This post has been edited by V429: Feb 3 2020, 07:04 PM
SUSBillCollector
post Feb 3 2020, 07:48 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Feb 3 2020, 05:38 PM)
.
You should think and retire the American/angmoh way, ie at about 70 years old = your twins will be about 27 years old.
....... Only mostly Asians and Chinese retire at about 60 years old.
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/11/if-you-cant...im-social-.html - If you can’t wait until 70, this is the next best age to claim Social Security benefits - 2018

Come to think of it, Malaysia and East Asia is a small market for the suggested novel like yours = you should have married the Swedish girl.  smile.gif
.
*
My Green Card in America doesn't entitle me to collect on Social Security or any social benefits. Only have my 401k.

The Swede?? She wouldn't be good for my big White ego biggrin.gif

If it wasn't for the 2 children I'd have kept on with the American.

QUOTE(V429 @ Feb 3 2020, 07:04 PM)
I don't think he can include you, it's gonna lead to a whole lot of questions from his wife. Lol! I can already imagine her reaction tongue.gif

Who is this lurkingaround in your novel?
He's from where? Forum??? What forum!?
What you post there!?
Show me! SHOW ME RIGHT NOW!
*
Haha she has become far more attentive as to what I'm up to these days.

She doesn't want to get caught out by a shocking surprise again.


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