QUOTE(KennyKB @ Jan 27 2020, 12:39 PM)
Let me get this straight TS. So the main bone of contention with your wife was the financial help that she insisted that you should give to her parents and relatives? Most wives will just accept no for an answer. It's rare to put such financial help above her marriage and breakup because of it. I hope her attitude is better now and the beggars feel guilty about causing your marriage to breakup.
The troubles mostly came because of the way it started and what it progressed into. In the beginning I simply didn't mind the idea of paying to appease as it mostly involved small sums of money for me, she viewed it that I was taking some initiative to get on with her parents.
Then it progressed to loans. Small amounts at first and mostly below RM10,000 and for short spans of time, then it progressed towards bigger amounts and taking longer to pay. Much of this I didn't care all that much as he had introduced contacts that the profits from the deals I struct with them were much more than the amount he borrowed especially as many of those deals had very quick payouts. Basically he would ask to borrow RM30-50,000 for 6 months and usually every 3-4 months I'd have had a deal that made RM30,000 and some where I got lucky I earned near RM100,000 that RM30,000 he borrowed??? He paid then good, did not pay then never mind as one of his contacts would have helped me to earn far more than that.
Then when the amount he wanted to borrow became 6 figures and spanning a year, I decided I didn't want to be the one that bankrolled them and preferred a different approach. It also came at a time when the outlays to earn from his contacts started costing more as it was no more buying properties on the bargain but we were syndicating with developers to take up entire floors or blocks of the development. I decided to buy up what he owned instead, since he was rather desperate for money all the residential real estate I bought from him were extremely good deals if you knew what to do with them as they were mostly in bad or very bad shape but all had very nice numbers. Wife did not know this was going on, I told her to ask her father to deal directly with me and we struck deals in private using a banker she had introduced to me. She only found out because her banker friend asked her how come all the real estate I bought I did not put her name on it. She was very angry when she found out as she thought I was trying to profit from her family's hardship when I could have just helped him out without resorting to that type of underhanded tactics.
During the time when I would offer to buy, they started asking her directly for small amounts of money all the time which meant she was forever broke and broke to the point that one time she basically had no money to eat lunch or service her car and drove her car with very worn tires. She didn't tell me of her issues as she knew I didn't like knowing off money troubles and she knew darn well she was not in a position to be having money troubles as other than her car payment, fuel and maintenance she didn't need to pay a single sen for absolutely anything at all.
It did piss me off that she made that type of decisions and we fought a lot over it then I simply let her be as ultimately it was her money that she was using to help her parents.
There were 2 incidents over 12 years where she actually did asked me to fork out money to help her parents.
First incident :-
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He tried to build 24 shops, he took some shortcuts during the earthworks which saved him some money and when the earthworks contractor told him what could happen and to quickly remedy it before building, he simply said by the time someone finds out about the problem it would be 5 years down the road and by then the company would have ceased operations. Trouble was the 5 years turned out to be 7 months and the shops were 80% completed when major cracks started forming and it turned out his short cut was extremely foolish, the original earthworks contractor told him he will rectify everything for around RM200,000 which was less than the scope of work required on a goodwill basis, mind you this contractor had 20 years experience on such matters. Instead he selected another earthworks contractor that quoted him RM80,000 who did around 35% of the work, made the situation worse and then said there wasn't enough money to do the job and packed up to leave. It was made worse by one big problem, of the 24 shops, only 2 had a booking. I was in India for a project when they approached the wife to tell her of the troubles they were in, they asked her for help but she was powerless to help, they asked her to convince me to buy at least 12 units of those shops which cost RM730,000 each for RM530,000 when I returned from India she told me about this, I told her I wasn't interested as we do not know anything about investing in commercial property and the last one I invested in proved to be too scary. I told her to ask him to sell me something else as I don't have the budget to buy something that was under construction. He showed her the remaining titles he still had, he told her I had previously rejected those houses as they were too far away. It was then that she realized I had already bought up most of her father's portfolio and she became very angry as he told her how little it was sold for but because he was desperate he had to take what I was offering, it was then that she realized just how extensively I was using her banker friend (thankfully she did not find out that was who I was seeing behind her back).
It dragged on for 2 months then her mother told her they couldn't hold out any longer and that they would lose everything. Wife told me this, I told her I lost everything more than once and I picked myself up, they could do the same as well. They tried selling off the remainder of their portfolio there were 5 houses and the 1 condo, 4 of the houses sold but was only enough to cover the mortgage on them. The 5th one couldn't sell because it faced the LDP highway and offers wouldn't have covered the outstanding loan. It made it easier for them to contain their loans but it left him powerless to do anything about his project which meant one thing, he couldn't repay the OD he had used his house to secure. This was a big one, he took a RM700,000 OD to bankroll that project, calculated that as he went along he would sell those shops and the progress payments would self-finance the project. He calculated even with the interest he had to pay on the OD, after all 24 units were sold he would be earning a good RM2,000,000 the problem was now the OD was maxed out, each month the finance charge on the OD was RM4,500 and he paid RM4,500 just to keep it from going overlimit otherwise it would be RM5,300 in charges. His monthly commitments on interests alone at that time was around RM12,000 as that wasn't his only credit facility and take home income around RM11,000, she tried several ways to help them out including another mortgage but she couldn't qualify as her own credit record had gone bad and she had too many commitments. He asked her if she knew how much I was making from all the contacts he had introduced, he told her she should find out where I was spending the money and perhaps she could get some to channel it towards him, he gave her an idea what I had been up to and how much I would have made, he told her the recent one was the one of many and I could easily afford to help him out. She told me she knew how much I been making of her father's contacts and it was time to pay tribute or if they lost their house she was bringing them to live in our condo. I told her I had not budgeted to help them therefore there simply wasn't any cash available on hand to help them as I had used it to pay down all my own debts, I told her no free money help as it was unlikely he would pay us back and I wasn't in the mood to lose that kind of money, I told her best I could do was to buy up the house they were living in on the basis of what was owed + RM100,000 and in the end he signed on the dotted line because I agreed to buy the house for the outstanding debt + RM150,000 cash advance and they could rent it from me for RM888 each month in order to continue living there and they could buy it back for a good price at a time in future. They paid that rental for 2 months then moved to their condo and in turn rented the house to an illegal kindergarten for RM3,500 per month. I was furious at all 3 of them. She was angry at me for low-balling her parents and they were angry at her for not negotiating a better deal and instead helped me to buy up their house for a very low price. It wasn't really that low when you take into account the amount of work needed to fix that house. In the end during those fights I took a flight to Taiwan as I felt so sick of the whole situation. She flew to Taiwan to coax me to come home. When I returned I deposited enough money into that mortgage account to not have to pay a single sen on it for 2 years and told her I did not want to see that house, hear about that house, know of that house and I simply wanted that house blanked out. We were good after that.
The 2nd incident :-
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It involved the same house, 7 years on. October 2018.
It started the mother of all wars. It started because her father said he wanted to buy back his house (I had taken full control of it after the 2 years was up, had a real estate agent manage it for me) the kindergarten had left. He asked her to ask me to sell it to him for RM500,000 on the pretext that the kindergarten did a lot of damage to the house, reason he wanted the house was because some Feng Shui Master told him his fortune would improve if he moved back to his old house as that's where his good Feng Shui was locked in and he was very serious in wanting to buy it. I told her I had no issues selling the house but I needed RM650,000 for it as I did not have enough cash to settle the loan otherwise, well it turns out neither did he as he was expecting a deal where RM500,000 was also inclusive of all legal fees and stamp duty settled. Unsurprisingly by then to me it also turned out he did not have RM500,000 cash to buy the house.
December came along she was pregnant at that time and managed to keep the baby in her for longer than 6 weeks and we were then trying to set a date for our 2nd wedding. He told her to ask me to swap their condo for the house. I told her I did not want to take on an aging condo especially one where I already had a unit there. He started going on how I had bought so many good deals from him and I won't even give him 1 good deal in return.
By this time things were souring between us as it finally occurred to her why her father had vulture as a nickname for me, I told her to forget about it I would sell the house on the open market and if they can buy it then they can buy it else that's just too bad, she said she will do it just this one last time then no more, she tried to get a mortgage on the house and she managed to get a mortgage for RM550,000 on it and I told her I would sell it to her for RM550,000 if it is to be in her name only, after that she is to collect RM388 each month from him, this was definitely a good deal as I had to find RM130,000 to settle the loan, she told him what was on the table, he disagreed and said the house must be in his name only and he didn't want any loans secured to the house. He told her to use the condo to make a deal and he wanted the key before CNY. The house had an electrical fire and badly damaged the rear portion of the house. They didn't know about it and I didn't tell them about it and you couldn't tell from looking at the gates that the house had a fire as by then the weeds were 10ft tall.
She negotiated with me for a key for key deal, in the end we agreed she takes 3 personal loans to settle the outstanding mortgage on that condo (combined was around RM230,000) after that I would get a mortgage to buy up their condo according to bank valuation and then they can use the money to buy up their house for the outstanding mortgage. I told her after the deal was signed she is to resign from her job and concentrate solely on her pregnancy. They all agreed. She said she will resign the moment she gets her bonus which she said was just weeks away.
2 of the 3 personal loans came through, the 3rd one was rejected. He kept asking her to get the key first, I told her no signed SPA no key. January came along and the bonus she was expecting turned out to be a golden handshake and with it went her ability to get the 2 personal loans as it was a special bank staff loan. I then received a fairly big paycheck from some deals with his contacts that finally matured. I also received the insurance money from the fire.
He found out about that big payout, he told her I could definitely afford to give the house to him for free if I wanted. She asked me to just do a key for key deal and said the condo had RM230,000 outstanding mortgage on it and just let him have the house, she promised there would be no more as she won't get getting another job again. Well it turned out she did not know that the condo was also used to secure a RM200,000 OD facility which he took out RM185,000 in January. I told her to get him to close that OD first and then I will do a key for key no more questions asked. He said he was keeping that money to renovate the house so key for key will need to take into account that OD as well.
I told her deal was off and I told her she can ask him to find a way to buy it off me for RM500,000 on his original terms, I will then settle the remaining mortgage and also the legal fees as well as his stamp duty. She said I was being unreasonable and purposely dangling a deal that I knew they couldn't afford. She insisted I just give them the house and take the condo and when I disagreed she started calling me all sorts of names, I told her I won't put up with that and the deal is off and I no longer wanted to be together with her. I moved my stuff out of the condo to a friend's condo in the same block as she had an empty room for me.
I then demolished that house because it turned out to be cheaper to demolish and rebuild it. Before the house was demolished I painted in red their family name at 4 spots on the facade and on every glass pane as well as a PRC flag above the main door. I then hired a CAT excavator and attached an American and British flag to the cab, told the operator to break all the glass panes and then hack at where their family name was painted at. I then videoed it and sent her a copy. Admittedly that was a very stupid thing to do. On CNY eve I took a flight to Amsterdam as she had been hunting me down and was ready to chop me up into many pieces. When I arrived in Amsterdam she sent me a message to tell me she had lost the baby, I told her it was for the better then blocked her on WhatsApp and I had a jolly good time in Amsterdam, forgot all the troubles and started planning what I was going to do with my life.
After the house was rebuilt, I sold it to his youngest brother and after taking into account all the costs I made a grand total of RM802 in profit.
She has definitely changed a lot since then.