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 Q on in-laws situation (Updates), Updated.

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V429
post Nov 25 2019, 04:05 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Nov 25 2019, 03:22 PM)
An update to those following this :-
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I was thinking sooner or later Team B will realise their mistake of believing your FIL's get rich quick scheme and for taking him in, but I didn't expect it happen this fast. Just wow...

What will happen to your FIL now? will his nephew and brother take care of him moving forward? Do you plan to inform Team A?
V429
post Nov 26 2019, 08:57 AM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Nov 26 2019, 01:11 AM)
I also informed the lone member of Team C.
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Didn't realise Team C is involved or at least kept in the loop. Anyhow, agree with mini orchard, hope your FIL finds some peace and quiet, and also slowly reflect on the past.
V429
post Nov 29 2019, 09:08 AM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Nov 29 2019, 03:02 AM)
Finally one of the main reasons why she is angry at the father was earlier this year we were having a war and we basically saw no hope in any reconciliation. Her father pressured her to pass custody of our children to me which she did then immediately regretted it. That 6 weeks being kept away from our children and needing to fight back to see our children again basically made her the way she is now towards the father.
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I know this is slightly off topic but I have always wondered what made her change her mind in her previous relationship with the church guy and did a U-Turn? My understanding from reading other threads is that they were legally married for some period of time, long enough for you to met them twice at a grocery store but some thread mentions she only got together with him for like 1 week before coming back to beg to see her children. I am a bit confused regarding the timeline for this.

Was it that she came back to you due to the though of losing her children that ate away at her? Or was it because she found out she loves you the most? But pls allow me to say that I am happy both of you worked things out together and got back together again.
V429
post Nov 30 2019, 02:03 AM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Nov 30 2019, 01:14 AM)
No worries. Will answer it.
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Thanks for sharing.

It's a bit ironic as I felt she gave the guy a chance perhaps as a way to 'get at you' but turns out to be a double edged sword. Also that although can see she is very attached to her children yet she still uses somewhat harsh Chinese parenting styles on them. Perhaps it's the only way she knows.

Am glad things turn out for the better. Can see that you made peace with a lot of things / people already.
V429
post Jan 23 2020, 10:53 AM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Jan 23 2020, 02:22 AM)
Some updates to this :-
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Surprising turn of events.

1.Didnt know FIL actually helped you in business. Always sounded like he have problem with you not being 'pure chinese' thus never ever gave you any form of help or assistance.

2.MIL's decision to pay back old lady at Team B and also to take back FIL, but then again maybe at her age, people slowly learn to '看开' and not focus too much on the bad stuff.
V429
post Jan 24 2020, 11:01 AM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Jan 24 2020, 05:05 AM)
Incident at the car park :-

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


2nd incident.
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

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I kinda feel pity for H (the guy who was after you then ex-wife), it seems sorta like he did not know what he was getting into when he went after her and bite off more than he can chew. Also seemed like he was being treated as a spare tire or at least in her mind you were still more important than him.

I can also imagine your then ex-wife must be thinking / asking herself how did things come to this, watching everything crumbling all around her. Torn between being filial and interest of her own family (with you and the kids). Although it does seem she learned to appreciate what she had and prioritise what's important in life after this.

I am glad things have stabilised / improved for your family since then.

Edit : BTW, Happy Chinese New Year, or Happy Holidays if you don't celebrate CNY.

This post has been edited by V429: Jan 24 2020, 12:15 PM
V429
post Jan 30 2020, 09:39 AM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Jan 30 2020, 04:30 AM)
CNY??

Eve : We had lunch at home then checked in to a nice hotel. Was originally planning for Genting but everything fully booked. Therefore the KLCC area hotel worked out well.
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I would have suggested you to bring the kids out to explore the area. Quite a few nice places to visit : KLCC Aquarium, KLCC Park, Perdana Botanical Garden, Bird Park, Canopy walk at KL forest eco Park.

Best time to explore during CNY too as I imagine it's the least crowded at this time.
V429
post Jan 30 2020, 04:40 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Jan 30 2020, 04:35 PM)
We have done the KLCC Aquarium, wife did not want to go outdoors as she said it was too hot.

Also she cannot walk too far on an extended period of time therefore such places are basically off limits for her for now.
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Ahh.. Ok. Almost forgot about the twins. Apologies.
V429
post Jan 30 2020, 08:36 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Jan 30 2020, 06:25 PM)
How was your CNY??

How goes with your apartment? Wife returned to Penang?
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-still trying to sell the apartment, so wife still remains at KL. Lowered the price a bit and seek out more agents.

-CNY was better than expected. This is the first year wife spent CNY at my place, so there were a lot of uncertainty for her as we weren't quite sure of the expectation placed on her as the new daughter-in-law of our family and also extended family. I stayed closed to her almost all of the time but turns out we overestimated it and things went OK.

-As there are a bit of friction between my father and me, I am relieved that he didn't say anything to cause awkwardness or uneasiness during CNY.

-It was my first year giving instead of receiving angpow, and I am happy to do so as I see it as 'paying it forward' if that makes sense.

-My 2 married elder sisters visited this year and it's always nice to see them again.

So overall CNY was pretty good smile.gif
V429
post Jan 31 2020, 10:45 AM

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QUOTE(Le8055 @ Jan 30 2020, 11:59 PM)
What is the significance of this? You were demolishing a house but you wasted money buying paint?

Your FIL definitely had a thing for shortcuts and risky calculations.
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TS explained in another post some time ago. Spent the whole morning trying to dig it out but failed. Darn it.

Basically it's an act of revenge, like a middle finger to his Father in Law (and by extention FIL's family). He painted their family name on the building (loan shark style I'd imagine) and hung a PRC flag to signify their 'chinese-ness' and all the Chinese way of life they tried to force on TS, and demolished the building with a excavator with attached US & UK flags as they represent what the values that TS stood for.

Also, his FIL is just greedy and overly confident he can get away with bad things he did, at least from what I read so far.
V429
post Jan 31 2020, 06:28 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 31 2020, 06:19 PM)
LOL! You found it! Yeah, this is the one.
V429
post Feb 3 2020, 02:43 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Feb 3 2020, 02:32 PM)
I did not know you are newly married, congrats.

Seems things worked out well for you.

Hopefully the apartment sells  soon, still unwilling to rent it out?
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Thanks smile.gif

Currently will not rent it out for now, wife is worried having tenants might make it difficult for potential buyers to view the house. One agent did share a peculiar case where he came across a tenant who demanded there can only be just 1 viewing when they are staying there (not sure whether this is in the contract or not).
V429
post Feb 3 2020, 04:41 PM

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QUOTE(BillCollector @ Feb 3 2020, 04:28 PM)
It can indeed be problematic to have tenants in the unit when you are trying to sell it.

Hopefully it sells soon and at a good price.
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Thank you. Yup, hope this can be settled soon as LDR is not ideal.

I also hope this new year will be prosperous and peaceful for you and your family. Have a nice day smile.gif
V429
post Feb 3 2020, 07:04 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Feb 3 2020, 05:06 PM)
When you retire, you should write a novel based on your eventful life. If so, don't forget to mention lurkingaround.  biggrin.gif
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I don't think he can include you, it's gonna lead to a whole lot of questions from his wife. Lol! I can already imagine her reaction tongue.gif

Who is this lurkingaround in your novel?
He's from where? Forum??? What forum!?
What you post there!?
Show me! SHOW ME RIGHT NOW!

This post has been edited by V429: Feb 3 2020, 07:04 PM
V429
post Feb 3 2020, 08:11 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Feb 3 2020, 07:56 PM)
.
In that case, BillCollector will likely have to spend a few mornings to dig out the forum to prove to his knife-wielding "Lorena Bobbitt" wife that lurkingaround is actually a man, ie not a woman rival like the Swedish girl.  biggrin.gif
.
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Haha, that's not the point, I don't think she would approve of how much TS is sharing about.. stuff tongue.gif
V429
post Feb 24 2020, 09:59 AM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 24 2020, 09:42 AM)
You don't know where the limits in morality and ethical behaviour are.. You never had a stronger man, usually a father, to properly put you in your place.. This is why having a masculine father is important for young boys.. Fathers are there to teach their sons, by forcing compliance through raised voices and if necessary through using blunt force to impart a hard message of being compliant and agreeable. The wolf was never domesticated to be a Sheppard dog.
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Well, I don't think this applies to every case. I mean both TS' Father-in-law and Step father can be said to be 'masculine man of the house' type of person.. And look how things turned out, especially with step father and his eldest son.
V429
post Feb 24 2020, 10:07 AM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 24 2020, 10:03 AM)
They were absent of didn't bother much with educating Pak Bill.

The critical stages is usually between teenager and before becoming an adult.

During that time, a masculine father was missing from his life.
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I meant looks how things turned out for step father's children which he educated (not including TS).
V429
post Feb 24 2020, 10:36 AM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 24 2020, 10:10 AM)
That's completely different though. Being a completely useless bum is different from a person that lacks empathy and has dark triad tendencies.
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That’s true, tho it's obvious that TS' step father and step brother did not emphasise with TS or educate / guide him and instead chose to ship him off overseas.

This post has been edited by V429: Feb 24 2020, 10:37 AM
V429
post Feb 24 2020, 10:42 AM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 24 2020, 10:39 AM)
But only person who can alter and recognise this destructive behaviour is TS. He can still change himself but he needs to recognise where it's coming from.
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From what I read, I think he has smile.gif

 

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