is TS Dr Love or Hitch?

Ok “the intent” does not come out the way it did. It sounds so “I wanna sleep with you”

No, no, ‘intent’ where stirring hearts where emotions are factored in.

“Here lies on the platter the inside story of my life,.. exchange stories, laugh, jokes, stupid jokes etc”

Ok never mind. Discussion is getting quite serious and laughter doesn’t seem to be a big part 😋

Taking the meat of the content, what we can learn from TS insightful sharing is:

1) Your standing as a man in society is important. You will be judge and screen even before they engage in conversation with you. Try to be a high valued man via obvious cues and your initial resume You can see TS only date within certain "scope". There is no college bums, no mechanics, no dispatch boys, no electrician, and also no fcuk boy in there. So if you want certain "scope" of women, prep yourself to be in their "profile" as well.

2) Cold read your profile to gauge what they value during dates to score points. Eg -> In TS case, she valued culture and well presentable men. Obviously this is important to her. So if your date value materialistic stuff, you can ditch that whole chivalry front and just order the most expensive things in the menu and follow up by impressing her with obvious bragging. In TS case, that is a no-no as you will come off as a show-off orge.

3) Act different to what is expected and be congruent to their ideals -> don't go for what's natural to you, but rather stop and think in their shoes and act according to their expectations. This demonstrate empathy and also good emotional control, key indicator of an emotionally strong man. This would prove you are a class different from the rest and they will have a good perception of you, leading them to lower their guard faster.

4) After going on first date and doing all that, assessed where you stand. Keep at it or pull back -> If you did all those well, and she placed you within a reasonable range. Then you can redouble your effort and increase in the aggressiveness and intensity. If the girl is slightly interested, your action would further reaffirm her and reassured her of her worth and she would feel a sense of control in the interaction and loosen her guard around you. All human like attention, especially if given from someone they valued. If she see you as a pest, please pull back and stop. Anything you do further is a nuisance.

5) Once they consider you. Keep doing things to assured them and get them to justify their decisions -> Once a girl consider you, try to win points from their surroundings. Many girls highly valued people's opinion of their partner especially people close to them, so before they pull the trigger they would like to have assurance from their social circles. So act in ways that win points from their family, and close friend so she can further justify her reason to be with you.

6) Go in for the close -> Secure the relationships and make it official once you know they have all the reason to be with you and is able to confidently make that decision. This is a big decision for them, once they make it, the power dynamic of the relationships may shift as now you hold the key and they will die trying to justify that their decision is correct as their ego / pride could not accept otherwise. For girls that changes a lot of partner this may not apply, as they do not hold pride in their decision of partners and don't mind people knowing that they have made the wrong choices.

Our ego and pride is what feed us. We will do anything to justify and make sense of our decision. No matter how ridiculous and flawed the argument is.

This apply to both men and women.

Not sure is it just me or my insecurity flaring up but seemed like TS advice is coming from a very high place. It's relevant, but at the same time highlight how pretentious this whole courting process is.

some work and some fail. since TS experience is onky.at 30s

It's not about age, it's more about viewpoint and perspective.

https://www.nicknotas.com/blog/women-give-t...-advice-to-men/

Hi TS or anyone here,

can you give me your opinion on my case because I'm very confuse what should do.
shall I move on or shall I chase her.

I fell in love with this women and she is older than me about 9years.
At first, I am not interested at her but after befriend with her, she caught my heart.
since then, I can stop thinking about her. I love her personality. She has what I am lacking. she is cool headed and supportive when her friends has trouble. She looks weak and low self-esteem on the outside but inside she is actually a strong person.
I love that side of her. Unlike me, I pretend to look strong on outside but inside me, I am actually a weak person. Sometimes, I wonder How can she be that strong, I wanted to know. Since then I my life been changed 180degree and I grateful I met her.

Recently,I have confessed my feeling to her. She shocked after hearing my confession.
she : "are you serious?" ,
me: "yes, Im serious"
she : you know my age right?
me : it is not an issues
she : since when?
me : from our first meeting.
then she changed the topic and asked me to sleep.

from here, I don't know what to do.
after my confession, both of us will pretend nothing happens when we outing with friends. But deep inside me, it's very painful.

Sometimes, I message her via whatsapp, mostly work related. yeah, she reply my message like nothing has happened. Of course, Im happy she not avoiding me, but at the same time, I have feeling "do I have a chance? is she give me a hope? or she is testing me? or she wants to see my effort?". I cant stop thinking all those question from my mind.

Last week, I have an exam. She pm-ed me and says "good luck tomorrow". Yes, I am happy seeing those words that coming from her. that was the first message ever she initiate the conversation. usually, it just me to initiate the conversation. But I'm still confuse, maybe she looking me as a friend, because it's not unusual for friend to encourage each other.

I really need someone's opinion because I'm totally lost and confuse what should I do next. do I have a chance? is she wanted to test me to see my seriousness? or she looks me as another friend of her?

She is the first women that I really interested to be my lifetime partner/wife.
Yes, I do have a lot of secret admire since school,uni and workplace but I rejected/ignored them. Because that time I focus to build my career but after met her, I really wish I could build my career with her and at the same time I want her to be my mental support when I down and I want to support her at her lowest state.

I planned to confess again to her.

edit: I'm 26 now.

This post has been edited by UJil: Jul 3 2018, 11:13 PM

Pursue yes, but don’t need to confess (again). She knows but I suspect she needs to be on her guard. She’s older, for reasons she may choose to be still ‘single’. So respect her for that.

I think she’s open for lunch, dinner perhaps. And sharing stories, both can then evaluate each other compatibility.

Unless you are under 19, I’ll say don’t raise your hopes too high up. Just enjoy the friendship. You will fall in love many times over in your life

This post has been edited by koolspyda: Jul 3 2018, 11:05 PM

UJil 9 years is a big gap and this also depends on your current age and hers and your current financial status.

If you are still in your early 20s, its still possible to to start a relationship but still very challenging cos you stil need time to build your career and money, etc.

By the time you are stable, she will be close to 40 and you may not feel the same way anymore.

If you are in your mid to late 20s are you ready to settle down now and immediately start a family. Do you want your own biological children as a 9 year age gap means she is almost 40 and breaching the age of conventional wisdom to have the first child.

As someone in his 40s, my sincere advice is for you to expand your social circle and meet more women.

Make sure you feeling for this woman is not out of feeling lonely.

You will certainly face huge family resistance for this relationship.

Cool things for a while and if you still feel the same way after couple of months then go and pursue this woman.

thanks for the feedback.
I'm 26 and I made 5k above at the moment.
It's not like i'm lonely, it just she is the first women that change my perspective. Usually, I can guess correctly of someone's personality, attitude on the first sight, maybe this is my habits to observe someone before I approach them.
And she is the first women that I met is different from other girls that I have met so far. during school, uni and my working place. there are girls who confessed her feeling to me or admire me (hear from my friends).

This post has been edited by UJil: Jul 3 2018, 11:21 PM

one thing that is missing from top reason why women reject guy, money, try date a guy that is not financially stable, don't tell me money doesn't matter women, I think most women will say " well, it's important to have someone that is financially stable so that our kids will have a good life" duuhh, I think most women only cares about themselves, want to have fark tons of money to enjoy life, no?

Hi Friend,

I am really appreciate your response,
don't confess to her 2nd time, PLEASE DO NOT, I REPEAT.
can I know your reason, why i cant do so? sorry, this is my first time I chase a women and sometimes I lost my mind due to scare of losing her.

Be appreciative of her friendship. She hasn’t scoff you off.
Maybe she is still evaluating (you) or the situation of someone who is willing to like her.

We do not know her reasons why she remained (are you sure she is single single?) single, unattached, keeps her private life totally private.

We here do not know her reasons


By telling her, confessing again will scoff her off. Scare her.
Until you both are going out often, she is completely comfortable with you, yes share that thought. You both will chuckle about it too

Otherwise zip for now

nice sharing.... TS *thumb up*

be man or women, we are looking for someone who are willing to go thru think and thin with us...

ever met some who keeps asking what car i have, declined to hangout at low class mamak shop, focus on studies (padahal had met someone else), bla bla... emm... and lotsa of excuses which make me cant stop laughing whenever i recall back well this is the assam manis hidup, not the viral assam ikan cacing

Yes, TS sharing does resonate some areas for men to not lose all hope BUT there are exceptions to the rule given sometimes all heart of gold for a man isn't enough for his Ideal lady (from his perspective)

TS did say, or i believe she pointed(?) i would read it as her own experience/observation.

It gives some courage to guys, all is not lost on first "rejection" (*qualification* this as it broad understanding "type of reject”)

If im going after a girl, i do take heart that "an initial not convenient/time not right to be together" is not a permanent NO, but it too boils down to how he was "let down". Boils down to circumstances I guess.

But some guys need to read between the lines, TS pointers does not mean it validate blind confidence to guys who thinks they have a valid chance/shot at Emily Ratajkowski, Hannah Jeter or the hottest malaysian insta girls. Ii think TS is pretty clear (at least my POV)

girls that willing to go thru think & thin. yup conditioning since young, so guys just need to slug it out and not claim bruised ego stating their standards are too high

This post has been edited by koolspyda: Jul 9 2018, 03:05 PM

Thank you TS for this wonderful post. It is really helpful even to people like me.

There are times when we are confused and dunno what to do, even it does sounded like common sense to others, we ourselves may not realize it.

And like other has pointed out, a partner that's willing to go through thick and thin with us is the utmost important.

Just that guys really needed to be aware on what the girl said.. for example,

did she keep complaining about her work or colleagues?

how she describe her colleagues/friends, she may be similar to them

most importantly do she often go mamak? Why this? I had met some bitches not willing to go mamak.. padahal stayed in pprt only. Act high class.

declined to hangout at low class mamak, she got tell you reason? Let me bet.. is amoi right? I got similar experience. That amoi told me all her friends all no hangout in mamak one. LOL

.

This post has been edited by lightworks: Apr 5 2019, 09:23 AM

Firstly I'm sorry that you had to encountered that 'not ideal situation aftermath' when you shown/taken the initiative. I don't think ALL guys respond & react the same way as your less-than kind encounter.

And I think some guys are super blur when it comes to girls showing subtle hints. While i'm not suggestion that a girl should go all out (which in many westernise country they kinda are more opened to that)

Don't lose hope, that too i will have to tell some guys here too.

Well if you can accept to remain as friends (after he/she kinda doesn't reciprocate) < I know its probably "more difficult" for guys to accept that. (its a deflating feeling). The world is as such guys like pretty girls, girl likes good looking guys who can tick the criteria as TS mentioned.

.

This post has been edited by lightworks: Apr 5 2019, 09:23 AM