Hi guys, would like to seek advises regarding interfaith rship.
We clicked quite well these few months but have yet to get tgt. The only concern is diff in religion.
I do go church with her, but might not convert to Christian in the future.
She did say she hope she can have the her future partner can have same faith with her. and her mom might not like it too.
Any thoughts on this?

Good luck to u.

I thought islam is a bigger deal, compared to christian?
Puiii

if she cherished religion more thn love..

thn i dont see the future of u two..

Usually won't work, even if she don't mind....her family does. Better stop now while it's less painful.

Yeah Christian girl will want their partner to be a christian also because there is a verse in the bible which talk about being the same yoke (religion).

To be specific:

"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of the living God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, 'I will make dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore, go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty'." 2 Cor. 6:14-18, ESV

My cousin rejected a guy simply because of this reason. Tat dude stupid enough spent thousand ringgit on valentine dinner for her, and deserved to get this kind of treatment.

I believe those Christians that are very strong faith or fanatic will be like that... Because in the bible they were told to always put God first in everything...

thank you for the advise. she said before she believe in after life.
really wish we can make this happen. how can i?

Damn... I tot ppl komplen kaww kaww abt having to convert to Islam to marry.

Rupa2nya Christianity pun 2x5... the only diff is that it isn't enforced by law.

its gonna be very hard for you, even if you can change her mind now, she might change back later after "brainwash" session from her mom, churchmates, priest etc etc.

/truestory

If she is fervent Christian then yes you hv to convert.

I don't see anything bad in converting. U can still eat pork, drink wine and avoid circumcision.

Go ahead n convert la Goto church slowly get use to the faith. Fact that she willing to take u in means she really likes u. One way of impressing her is helping out in the church n making friends there. When she see u commit she will do more for u

Hey There

Don't feel so down because of the difference of religion in your relationship. I am for one, a strong Christian since birth and now I have a wife which is a Buddhist, and let me give you our story so that you have a better point of view.

During my dating days with my girlfriend (which is now wife), her parents also didn't really like me because I was a Christian, as they are afraid that I might convert her to Christianity and all. But after our 6 years of dating, I manage to show her parents that converting her to Christian was not my intention, and I do respect all religion, so she is free to do whatever she wants and I am free to go church every Sunday and sometimes she does follow me to church as well.

After some time, her parents decided to finally accept me for who I am, and even allowing her daughter to follow me to church on Sundays as well, as long as I do no affect her religion ways and vice versa hers to me, I think we are doing fine.

Fast forward to now, my wife is 3 months pregnant, and the religion of the kids would most probably be Christian, because she said so herself, this is her exact words "next time the baby come out I wan bring the baby to church every Sunday to join the toddler's class so the baby can make friends".

So I do believe that religion is really how to approach it, I mean as long as you do not affect your gf's Christianity, I think it should be fine, and yes the Bible does say do not be unequally yoke, do take note that Bible is a guide and word from God. For example, your dad tell you "eh son, don't go eat that orange, cause the orange spoil already, later you get stomach ache". But you don't care and went on to eat the orange and you get stomach, does that mean your dad don't love you and don't care about you anymore? No right. haha

Anyway, good luck in your relationship.

Good luck and usually the other half will need his/her partner to be Christian prior to marriage... And usually need both to be Christian in order to have Church Wedding.

If u plan of only dating her, should be no prob and if u plan to marry her, then be prepared to be converted!

U still can eat ur fav food or drink ur fav wine or beer! Still can celebrate CNY even u converted to Christian...win win situation!...., what u can't do is ambil colok

Based on my experience, if she's a staunch christian you will probably need to convert.

you might be given an options, but not your kid, as your mil will force them ..

do you follow your wife to temple and pray?

I agree. Most Christians WILL try to get partners of same yoke. I met a few already. The moment they think I'm on to them (for the record, we didn't even go on a date yet), they invite me to their church. Not that I mind, but the notion just rub me in the wrong way... oh well... better luck for me next time... if I can find one...

nope, i don't follow my wife to temple and pray and her parents also know I won't go, so they are ok with it as well, eve during our marriage day, they side of the family gave their prayers to the ancestors in the morning first before me and my heng dai reach my wife house.

She is married to religion, not you.

1. Leave her.
2. Join her.

One of you will have to give in.... basic relationship 101... from dealing on finance, to children, to hobby, to work.... if things can be resolve among both of you peacefully then there should be no problem

Hey there

Nope, I don't follow my wife to temple and prays, her family knows that and they are ok with it as well. Also during our marriage day, her side of the family got up early to give respect to the ancestors before me and my heng dai reach her hose for the tea ceremony.

It happen to me, im in buddhism religion kena friendzoned past few years ago and ive already move on, she told me this is the main problem without same religion,thinking,aititude and behavior will be totally different.

Without same religion better don't even start to think about relationship and don't want take the risk,she said.

1. Is she RC?
2. If she is RC you might have to go RC too.

I also had once the same doubt as you. My ex was christian and I was a buddhist.

at the end of the day it's about compromising. if she's ok following to you to pray at the temple then its ok. if you're ok joining her for weekly church activities or worships, then its ok too.

anyhow our relationship did not work out in the end.

best of luck to you TS. Sometimes I'm not even sure why we limit ourselves to religion when it comes to love

so it is not 100% mutual respect after all. your wife tries to get involved in your religion but you didn't even try. nothing wrong though.

Very clearly Buddhism is more open in this context. What does religion have to do with love?
We have to know the difference and separate them. When you love someone, you love the person and you should not expect someone to convert to your religion or follow your beliefs. A religion which forces someone to convert to their religion upon marriage is not a good religion in my humble opinion, because you are using love to lure people into your religion instead of faith.

First she said, if my boyfriend love me he will accompany me to church,

Then she continue, if my future husband love me he will convert to christian for me.

Then after marriage, If my husband lvoe me he will <insert next request>

can't you see their brain washing you.

Why not say if you love me! Don't influence my decision on what I wanna do with my life?? Hmmm?

Well, I have a Christian male friend, he did mention if he gonna marry his girlfriend, the girl must convert to Christian in order to enter marriage stage otherwise he will choose to break up...
This is what I can share from my knowledge even though I disagree with him as I believe love can conquer / accept anything included religion

This post has been edited by XloveE: Apr 4 2017, 03:04 PM

no! Christian want everybody be a Christian, even ur family member pun want to be a Christian

For inter-faith to work, a lot has to be discussed.

1. What are the goals in terms of religion for both parties? (separate religion? doing religious activities together? child up bringing? Super involved in activities?)

2. How strong is family influence on religion? (Seriously, if your parents don't support, its gonna be a really really tough road. Also how ready are you to deal with pressure from 'religious' friends, relatives, etc.)

3. If maintain separate religion, are both parties willing to learn and support each other? (It makes a lot of sense for you to still support your partner in their spiritual journey even if they are on a different path. You chose to marry anyway right?)

IMHO, stories about people forcing their partners to convert are there. But, there are also stories about people able to work it out while maintaining separate religions.

I'm a Christian and my bf is an agnostic (though he identifies himself as a Buddhist in his IC). I didn't expect myself to fall for someone of different religion, but then it happened.

Well, I could accept him coz he doesn't go to temple often, and there isn't any altar in his house (though his mum goes to temple). We talked about having kids; he's okay with me bringing them to church. Plus, he's into theology and likes to study religions, so he knows a lot about Christianity, we can openly talk about it.

I pray for him and sometimes I share with him about my faith, but I won't convert him. Faith is a matter of choice out of free will, and in Christian language, it is the work of the Holy Spirit to convict the unbelievers and bring them to Christ.

I'm not sure whether he'll be a Christian in the end, but I believe there's a time and place for what is meant to happen, to happen. All I need to do is share the gospel and my journey in faith with him, and pray for him. The rest, I'll leave it to God.

After all, God gives us the free will to choose our paths. Forcing your partner to convert for the sake of converting or gaining church membership or family approval is not what pleases God.

Jesus never forced people to convert anyway. The first few disciples made the choice to follow him when He said, “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” (Matthew 4:19) It was an invitation, not a command or threat ("You must follow me, if not I won't make you fishers of men.")

To Christians, the moment you tell your unbeliever partner, "You must be a Christian, if not I won't date you or marry you.", you are pushing him/ her away (and perhaps making him/her misunderstand/ hate Christianity), rather than drawing him/her nearer to Christ. While the intention to 'convert' him/her is out of your concern for your unequal yoke, aren't you sinful as well if you push him/her away from knowing Christ? That's falling into the religious trap and becoming hypocritical & legalistic like those Pharisees.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Apr 5 2017, 02:10 PM

Who cares about religion?

Some people want to have church wedding.

I think most church nowadays need you both to be Christian and also member in order to use their premises.

Why do most Christians want their spouses/partners to join them to churches when they themselves don't want to go to temples? Selfishness?
Maybe it's because they were brought up that way. Maybe they thought their religion/god is the real one and others are false. How can you prove that yours are real and other religion's gods are false?

Most of all Christian are faithful to our GOD, if you really faithful with her...

You need to make a choice... Not for religion wise is about faithful on something.

Is about faithful on something AND not about religion !

Only the religion leader misleading the followers...

Depends on the girl. If she put God first then yes, she will normally want her partner to convert.

You will then know how logical she is depending on which one she chooses. God is nowhere to be seen while the partner is alive and tangible. If she chose to believe something that she has never seen... well.

Another thing is, faith has nothing to do with choosing a partner. Unless of course you mean believing in the Bible(the words of god) which (compulsory or not, I am not sure) the spouse has to be a Christian.

I have a friend who is a Christian and she told me that her partner must be a Christian. Not sure how old and how deep are you in the relationship but if you know you never convert and she continue saying that her partner must be a Christian, then my suggestion is to move and and just be friends. Don't waste time.

Both need to be open. It's about both future and your children's future.

Hope both of you remain together no matter the outcome.

Thankyou for the constructive feedback guys.
I do hope it can work out somehow, keeping faith

I don't understand why they set such conditions. It's pure beliefs without any reasoning. Maybe it is in the Bible.

well God did said who are you to judge? its mutual respect that builds relationship, one must respect each faith too. if youre serious then show her what it like to be a follower and never force anyone into something.

Good luck

It's different between the two regarding the views of their own God. That's why most christians would prefer marrying those who has the same religion.

Gotcha!

I read an article about Muslim minority in Christian majority country protesting that school canteen cannot serve pork sausage as it's disrespectful to Muslim student. What they fail, totally FAILED at realizing is the majority 99.7% of non-muslim student will be discriminated from having their favourite curry wurst during their school break. If the 0.3% don't get what they want; it's called racism instead of madness.

This is essentially the root to majority of religious related conflict at larger scale.

Like always in all my arguments, thank sky and thank land, not all religious individual buys into that madness.

P.S. You beat me to it.

my bf is christian, im a buddhist. getting married soon and didn't come up with the must be with same religion partner. but i'm ok to convert to christian.

but if i'm not willing to convert, i will try to discuss with my partner before break up. maybe she will accept your decision?

must be her parents poisoned her mind that way.
I dont understand why does this kind of things can bother relationship.

i find those christian converts to be very fanatic.

and especially those non-catholic christians.

I am a Christian and my wife is a Taoist, in fact, her whole family is a Taoist. We got married two (2) years ago, no llamas in the family to create dramas and I don't contemplate there will ever be.

To be honest, I have to admit that I am not a staunch Christian but I still have my principles and lines which I will never cross. Inter-faith relationship is something that I never take into account during courtship as anything could happen in between so why burdened myself with all these unnecessary thoughts that would potentially create rifts in an otherwise harmonious relationship.

Sometimes, people architect their own demise, creating death traps out of thin air and at the end of the day, pushes blame to other factors save for their own.

True, I am aware that the bible says that a believer shall not yoke themselves with a non-believer (ie. only marry someone who shares the same faith as you) but it depends on which perspective you are looking from.

I even consulted the pastor prior to my registration of marriage (ROM) from my church and he told me that my marriage cannot be completed in church simply because my wife isn't a "believer" so in order for me to do so, my wife needs to be a believer. Savage, yes but I understand where my pastor is coming from because he is tied down by the rules in the bible but to me, what is the point of forcing something into a faith just so that that particular individual could marry?

Is this against free will? God gave all men (women included) free will, to decide what they want to do with their lives so to me, having someone converted into a different faith for the sake of marriage is against this doctrine hence invalid.

Besides, it is a "duty" for Christians to spread the good news so don't you think it would be a wiser option to marry a non-believer and the convince him/her that the ways of Christianity is good? Isn't it a better objective that your other halves free-willingly becomes a believer rather than telling people "i'm a Christian because my husband/wife is"?

At the end of the day, no matter what factors you are considering, a couple needs to be understanding and toleration is the keys, there will be no peace if both parties are constantly at each others' end waiting for someone to complete that one tasks. If she her end objective is for you to convert and you are not sure if you will convert then my friend, let me tell you one thing, both of you have a vital different.

Don't change faith to please another, faith is personal and you should consider yourself and yourself only. You are answerable to yourself.

The real question, is interfaith marriage possible? To me, yes.

My wives' family adheres to their routine of worshiping and I don't join them. They bring incense to their deity, I don't join them, they bring incense to their ancestors, I merely bow to pay my respects to them. I don't eat foods that have been offered to their deities and they respected me, so they always keep a portion away for me.

Do i hope that one day my wife would tell me she wants to share the same faith as I, of course because I want to spent the rest of whatever time I have after my death with her, whether it is in heaven or not.

The point is this, none of you should force each other to do anything in respect of the faith each both of you now possess. Not now, not ever. If any there should be a conversion, it should be free from influences.

non-catholic Christians alot leh... you encountered all those like Jehovah Witnesses izzit XD

the "shophouses" ones

"shophouses" one i think are mostly protestants but as my experience tells me, protestants are the more liberal ones. Catholics on the other hand are more, aggressive because they are still very much obliged to the old testaments of the bible.

heck, they still issue out abstinence cards XD

like, really? abstinence?

In your case, the guy is a christian.

The problematic stories i always hear from others is when the girl is a christian.

I notice that guys are more accommodating when comes to this issue.

If the girl is a christian, it's a definite.. "no, no, my partner must be christian".

we're still happily married for many years. same situation. No issues.
want to know further, pm ya. no need to share the whole world to know.

This post has been edited by mydurian: Apr 18 2017, 01:01 PM

Having schooled in a catholic school with catholic friends, I find them to be very liberal and relax compared to the times when i start meeting Protestant friends in college and at work. The ones that post all those bible quotes and verses on FB every time are not catholics.

What is abstinence card?

You cannot compare like that la. You met your "catholic friends" when you are growing up (below teen), of course la they treat you different because all of you grew up with only one thing in mind "friends". None of you are tainted with the ideology of politics and religion yet. You cannot realize something is wrong when you aren't given a set of rules to follow yet.

Ask a Standard 3 child and see if he/she knows what is racism.

The frequency of you seeing posts regarding bible quotes in FB cannot be taken as an indication that protestants are "not liberal" la. It's just probabilities, the amount of protestant friends you have, catholic friends you have and etc but I have to admit, protestants are more "outspoken and expressive" in the sense that they need to reveal to the world what they know.

To be fair, all Christians are radical in their own way. Protestants are more out in the open but Catholics are more subdued in nature because they are very much still the "traditional" kind. You don't hear rock version of Christian songs in Catholic churches XD

Abstinence card is a card issued to the individual who has pledged abstinence from sexual activity until they are married.

I have a female friend who has that card in her purse and 10 out of 9 of her friends know that card is as valid as an expired AEON card. As far as I'm concerned, if she takes a oath before entering church, the door will burn.

yea, i was shocked when someone shared a post about why christian can't date non-christian and the blogger is a girl. content is like what adultery and bla bla bla. I don't think some male christian won't commit adultery

This.

I'm agnostic but so far on separate occasions, I've avoided progressing further into a relationship with 2 girls who are both Protestants.

Both wanted me to convert or at least start following them to church every Sunday before progressing any further.

I was once asked by a Christian to join him in church on sunday and convert.
He told me to not tell my parents. I got nice Christian friends. but not this feler.

F**ing fanatic cult.

This post has been edited by Red_rustyjelly: Apr 18 2017, 02:46 PM

both you and her need to set religion and relationship apart. else will throw words at each other about each's religion and culture.

not to say that most of the time, it's the female counterpart that gives issue. it has to alot to do with the family upbringing. i have a lot of male Christian's friend who are strict as hell who claimed to only will date Christians and if there are none left in this world, they would rather not be in a relationship. You may be surprised but these people do exists.

either you have misinterpreted the contents of the post entry or that she is focusing on one part of the problem or she doesn't understand why the caveat is imposed in the bible.

the rationale behind Christian marrying Christian is simple and not rocket science, this is that it is in harmonious with the bible. the union between a male and female in God's light resembles Adam and Eve, with that, God can then bestow upon His blessings on them. it would be absurd if not contradictory if God blesses that individual who is not a believer or if He only bless one person but not the other. It's an union hence it must be fair. This is the "spiritual" side of things.

the more noble notion is that, assuming all Christians are devoted, understands the sanctity of marriage and will not commit sins against any of the 10 commandments. it is a general perception that non-Christian does not know about the 10 commandments hence, you cannot perform what you don't know. it's always better to have 2 people having the same thoughts live together than completely 2 people from different worlds, the latter would be a disaster friction waiting to happen. this is just basically, reasonableness.

but to be honest, none of these hold true anymore.

:haha: that's some scary shi- yo~

I am curious to know how do you face your fellow bro and sis in Christ? Did they judge your decision to marry a non-Christian? Are you active in church all these while and became less and less active after getting into the relationship?

Too bad very rarely we'll see the other party doesn't force one to convert. This is a major deal break for the most part. Pretty unfortunate, really.

Is it a big deal to convert? No

U still can eat pork...celebrate cny...drink some beer...

In fact u get more benefit like hvg a network of people to pray and offer support to u.

To be honest, one Christian must not fear on how his/her "brother/sister" in Christ perceive him as in individual simply because he/she marries a non-believer and these "brothers/sisters" must not make this Christian feels like he/she is being judged because if they do then they too have already breached the sanctity of Christianity. Only God can judge, I don't even think Jesus judged an individual at his own accord. It was all done in accordance to God's will.

For one, I don't need to man up to face them because I don't owe them anything. I owe my parents and my parents did not say a thing about what i have decided and supported me all the time. If a Christian decides on a matter solely because he/she fears the social/religious repercussions that he/she may face then 1) the religion is wrong or 2) the church that he/she has been attending is the wrong church.

I attribute the rising in divorce rate in Malaysia to this. People are more inclined into seeking religious salvation rather than what is good for themselves so they rather give up marrying someone who has a higher rate of compatibility because they are a non-believer and in turn, marry someone who is a believer but has much lesser compatibility rate JUST because for the sake of compliance. This is wrong because he/she has allowed religion to dictate how he/she lives his life properly.

Religion should be a guide rather than a dictator.

I don't go to church anymore but because of some obvious reasons (not because I married a non-believer). Maybe it is just me but 90% of the Christian that I met do not walk to talk. They could be 110% religious and holy in church but transformed into an absolute devil once they stepped out of church. Too many hypocrites.

Like the scriptures says, my body is the temple and as long as I believe in God, my church is with me.

Receipt for disaster
there are many cases where family relationship destroyed because of religion, especially from christianity.

I'm buddhist ,spouse is Christian.
No fuss.
Spouse can go church on sundays, totally fine with me - up to me whether to join or not.
Not to say religion is not important, but there are things in life that are above religion.
And our kids are free to choose their own beliefs as they grow.

now this, this is a sound advice that you should consider.

remember now, God advocates free will.

Rare stuff to be seen from your spouse.

my mum is buddhist and my father is christian. there's nothing wrong with it at all. depends on how strong u believe. no matter how strong we believe or pray doesn't make us more holier or nearer to god or somehow, disregard any religions, it's the good deeds that's matter what we did in our lifetime. Too deep into religion kills mankind.

This post has been edited by djandrew: Jun 20 2017, 02:13 PM

make it simple,
since u go church with her.
does she go temple with you?
if the answer 'no'.
then u know the answer already.

Either You convert to Christian or find a new girl.

Cause you will not able practising your own culture/religion anymore especially after marriage
For those especially family member passed away or ching ming.

your future child will unable to follow your culture/religion anymore also.

I'd advise you to move on. Changing partners is easier tham changing a person's faith.

if there is something dear to me then i want to share with my partner without forcing her to enjoy it.

we are talking about religion, not the "way of life" or something that a person do 24 hours. let's do an extreme analogy just to get my point across, assuming you are a Christian and your partner is a Taoist or Buddhist, does she have lighted incense in her hand everywhere she go? I'm sure she only goes to the temple on special occasions and it's perfectly fine not to join in those few days. You won't die neither would she.

honestly, I don't hold religion as dearly to me if compared to human relationship. Though I cherish my relationship with God but as far as my parents are still alive, I would prioritize on them. I am sure you would do so as well because I don't expect that you'd say something like "hey dad, sorry to hear about your stroke on Sunday morning. No worries, i'll come see you in the hospital after my Sunday service in church". If God promote such behaviour then I fear that either the church you are going to is satanic or the God you are worshiping is Satan himself.

your notion is a bit nonsensical to me. what you are advocating is segregation as a whole. it simple means, kids with same religion should hang out with other kids with the same religion because then only they shared the same interest o_O? apa logic itu? interests is borne within ourselves.

another stupid comparison, seriously. if i am a person who love dogs (which I am), i wouldn't mind if my partner is allergic to dogs because I would not do thing to elevate her allergies. I can still go to a dog park and play with people's dog. Loving something does not mean you NEED to have them. Damn man. Relationship is about tolerance and sacrifices, if either one wants to triumph over the other, go live in an island lor.

Sot plug. I go to church, my wife goes to temple on occasions. We are still happily married.

My wife's grandparents' passed away, I pay my respect to them at the altar by bowing but not offering any incense and I sometimes join in their Ching Ming events too. Ching Ming is just a gathering to help clean the cemetery la, not to go and get yourselves circumcised and converted.

I don't understand why 90& of the Chinese community here in Chinese equates converting to Christian means throwing away Chinese heritage and tradition.

Your child will be given the full spectrum of every religion, though as parents, you have the obligation let them know the true picture of everything. Let your kid decides what they want to do.

Why is that so difficult?

Another sound advice which I also agree. If even before all these speculation takes place, so many worries arises. Just leave her because for sure, OP cannot accept what comes next.

This post has been edited by shaniandras2787: Jun 20 2017, 09:54 PM

If you really love her :

Try to discuss with her, have faith in her and yourself

God willing to wait you to be accepted...

Wish you good luck bro.

If you still NOT really love her:

Go find new girl...

This post has been edited by sonic31s: Jun 20 2017, 09:58 PM

I see so many cases happen around me, but all of them is female part is the Christian.
they first will try to convert their bf/husband to Christian. if fail, they just brainwash and ensure their child is Christian.
cause mother has more time with kids.
Slowly all the husband give up to prevent the argument.

I wonder how you give a true picture of everything? especially religion?
if you are Christian, how much you know about buddhism, taoism, muslim and so on.
So you will bring them to all religion talk? bring them to monk, priest, imam or so on for them to have an experience?

Actually, alot of parent very upset after their child converted to other religion and forbidden them to offer any incense when going ching ming.
You will hear a lot of those noises of complaining at morning wet market when those aunties talk about it.
They sure will not complain in front of you.

actually, i wonder if the parent is Taoism while the only son is converted to Christianity.

If the parent with to have a full Taoism funeral when they die, (especially only 1 of the parent dead).

So do the son will still involve in the Taoism ceremony or totally against it?
Cause if involve, a lot of praying with incense, burning, wearing those special cloths and so on, especially the elder son.

I wonder what normally the converted son will do?
if the son do not follow, was it consider disrespect to his parent?

TS, sorry for being straightforward.

Stop the relationship now and move on.

I feel that she will not tolerate, everyday the church members will brainwash you to join them...of course they will stop annoy you when you join them...

all the best.

Every individual are borne free so there's no saying who brainwashed who. If a child is being "brainwashed" by the mother then the child has to owned up to his/her own decisions.

Exposure means equal opportunity in this sense. I am not going to advocate or instigate knowledge but share whenever curiosity is raised. I believed a child should be informed when he/she has the interests to learn. He/She has at all material time have enough opportunity to deliberate if it is the right decision. Besides, the child doesn't spent 100% of his/her time life growing up in the house, he/she socializes so yeah, that should give him/her sufficient exposure to what is needed.

I don't quite agree that the term "brainwashed" is used though, it implicates that it's bad. No religion is bad at its core (unless it's satanic or a cult). It's the people who preaches or practices it that makes it look bad, through human interpretation if you will.

Anyway, you are not set for life when you subscribed to a religion. You can easily fall out and fall into another religion if you feel that the new one is the right one for you. You are not going to be stoned for that.

To be honest, incense or no incense, it's just a symbolic ritual to ease the mind. What is most important is that you have treated the right party in the right way when he/she is alive then the right message is get across. What is the point of buying a 20feet tall incense and a RM5million paper house to be burnt just to show the world that you are filial? These are mostly to ease the guilty conscience.

Trust me, if you simply pick an auntie in this morning market and asked them "why incense", they will tell you "aiya, my parents do it before me so everyone should do it". To me, religion is simple and it must make sense while being rational.

If they don't understand the reason why they are doing a certain thing then they are believing blindly (ie. being a sheep).



Simple, it follows the deceased's wishes. You cannot send a Buddhist follower in the Christian manner.

You do your filial piety as a son while ensuring that your religion's restricted practice is observed. You can still pray (but without the incense), don't take part i the burning and let the spouse of the deceased do it (the surviving parent should understand the child).

I attended to my grandparent's funeral and by tradition, I have to wear blue as the grandson on the paternal side but I wore white instead. Nobody seems to have any issue on that. At the end of the day, it's NOT the people that will condemn you, it's your guilty conscience that condemn yourself because you constantly fear of the social repercussion of being "different".

There is no "disrespecting" the deceased parent when you have treated him/her during his living years in a very applaudable manner. What is the point of crying buckets during the funeral when you don't even return and have dinner with him/her when he/she calls you to?

Sounds a like a hypocrite, eh?

This post has been edited by shaniandras2787: Jun 21 2017, 10:30 AM

Note: I never say any religion is bad. just discuss human behaviour on religion and how it affect the family member and so on. I do not against any religion and believe all religion is brought good will but just human misused them to gain something.

interested to know what age, u bring or will bring your child to church?
including Christianity involvement function and blessing?

I would like to know your mean of how free you will give to ur child.
you would only able to give ur child Christianity exposure at home from born till he/she able to go out and mix with people.
This totally not equal opportunity already.

Note: below just an example,
If your child at 7 years old tells you, he wishes to join Muslim, will you allow? and what you will do?
if happen at 12 years old?
Will you brainwash him for no?


Note: Below is just a scenario, not referring to anyone.

for Chinese Taoism mix Chinese culture, spouse normally will not be involved in the funeral but is the son who settles all the ritual.
without all the proper ritual, they believe the dead will not have a good life in the underworld.

The elder son needs to carry the flower and buy water.

if the son doesn't practice it, wonder how the spouse will feel, if she also into Taoism.

See her husband fail to have a proper funeral, and she can't do anything, while the only son die die doesn't want to involve in the funeral ritual.

question is, you will involve in the complete ritual or die die still follow own religion guideline?

I would like to ask also since you say incense is just a symbolic to ease of mind, why Christianity do not allow it?

You say "burning all those an RM5million paper houses to be burnt just to show the world that you are filial", do this equal also to those go temple/church and so on also for filial? This totally 1 part of the culture believe while you condemn it as referring it to ease the guilty conscience.
Taoism believe the dead can receive it, while Christian beliefs, join Christian will go heaven. Same logic right?

There is always becoming a person grey area that they can't differentiate in between "Black, Grey, White".

Linkage of every element by the term of description. Well, get a higher education to explain as below with two different output in term of individual question and linkage question. On top of that with a logic answer and un-logical answer. End with by feeling answer.


Back to Basic:
What is Religion to you? how about others?
Do you priorities the religion in yourself? how about others?
Can you define the equality in between yourself and others? how about others?
Who are you if you are born from a rock like the monkey king but sadly you are not the monkey king which is just an ordinary human?
Etc etc....


PS: i can only see one thing, Love is Blind. No one can control. if you die die wan that fellow, you will go for it no matter what. Conflict been happened in every factor since we are not Perfect. Different point of view make people confuse with their own desire. Take the hardcore road or go for low risk boat.


Twenty Cent comment. by the naughty Monkey.

This post has been edited by lsthian: Jun 21 2017, 03:00 PM

I see so many cases happen around me, but all of them is female part is the Christian.
they first will try to convert their bf/husband to Christian. if fail, they just brainwash and ensure their child is Christian.
cause mother has more time with kids.
Slowly all the husband give up to prevent the argument.

<This is what Christianity call preaching, passing on in simplified way her belief and its part of the faith where you are suppose to pass on what you believe in. So its not a fault. You don't expect a mother to teach Buddhism or Islamic teaching to her child when her own faith is Christianity right? As for freedom of choice, then let the child grow up first before you dictate that. Same as your own household, you are expose to the faith of your parent first either the mother or father and its only at later stage of life you are able to choose or accept. As in Christianity there is further process for acceptance.. you are not bonded to it just because you started with it when you are a child. And God Bless if you accept it from a Christian point of view.>

I wonder how you give a true picture of everything? especially religion?

<This is a million dollar question, still being debated by religious scholar around the world>

if you are Christian, how much you know about buddhism, taoism, muslim and so on.

<This is up to individual, how much they are willing to learn of each other faith>

So you will bring them to all religion talk? bring them to monk, priest, imam or so on for them to have an experience?

<This put in a interesting perspective, as in all religion its more about faith compared to experience. And do you do the same, as normal you be only exposing yourself to your own faith which is not wrong. Maybe good for yourself to go to a few talk to get more experience?>

Actually, alot of parent very upset after their child converted to other religion and forbidden them to offer any incense when going ching ming.
You will hear a lot of those noises of complaining at morning wet market when those aunties talk about it.
They sure will not complain in front of you.

<Cannot blame them, as every parent or elder wanna have their child and such follow their way, same case also with Christianity. You also will hear complain from Christian parent that their Buddist child are not celebrating Christmas with them and not attending the funeral of the uncle that recently pass away as seem they need to pray instead of burning money for the uncle to use. This don't happened to Buddhist side only, just my 2 cents>

for Chinese Taoism mix Chinese culture, spouse normally will not be involved in the funeral but is the son who settles all the ritual.
without all the proper ritual, they believe the dead will not have a good life in the underworld. The elder son needs to carry the flower and buy water.
if the son doesn't practice it, wonder how the spouse will feel, if she also into Taoism. See her husband fail to have a proper funeral, and she can't do anything, while the only son die die doesn't want to involve in the funeral ritual. question is, you will involve in the complete ritual or die die still follow own religion guideline?
I would like to ask also since you say incense is just a symbolic to ease of mind, why Christianity do not allow it?
You say "burning all those an RM5million paper houses to be burnt just to show the world that you are filial", do this equal also to those go temple/church and so on also for filial? This totally 1 part of the culture believe while you condemn it as referring it to ease the guilty conscience.
Taoism believe the dead can receive it, while Christian beliefs, join Christian will go heaven. Same logic right?

<Question of faith, if the child are not in the same faith of the father - Taoism, and not doing the ritual as he don't believe in it, that is his choice. As this cannot be deem not filial as he can practice the ritual of his own faith as that would be cater as filial in the eye of his own faith. Incense is not a Christian practice, therefore most Christian wont do it. As for it being symbolic that also interpretation of faith. Dont think going to temple/church dictate filial as its a place of worship. Burning paper houses are a way to send things to the afterworld and it doesn't dictate filial as anyone can do that, not just the children. Christian believe in heaven and everything is prepared, no need to burn RM5mil house to be received in heaven>


This post has been edited by scsoo: Jun 21 2017, 04:02 PM

If only those believers has same taught like you. I same encountered like TS situation where one party insist to join Christianity. Which I told that all religion cores are good purposes just different way. But the mentality and understanding of one religion is not just "if u wanna date me you have to join my church"

Showing the path of the religion themselves rather than following what preacher or bible stated.

Not condemning religion but sometimes human just have to be human. Religion is important but not putting it in 1st place like what ppl said; I put my god 1st before me.

just my 2cent.

Ask her join Buddhism

Religion Core are good purposes, but the teaching from one another could be different as night and day, so there where belief come in. And those teaching came from different religion cannot be equated as same. Simple example, Christianity and Islamic don't believe in rebirth but Buddhism where atonement of sin are vastly different. Afterlife also vastly different, heaven and hell still there, but different.

Therefore if the path of the religion and what the preacher and bible stated is to have your other half embraces Christianity (yoke), then there is nothing wrong with "if you wanna date me you have to join my church" And in addition, the religion also say put God in front of everything, therefore cant blame her for putting this prerequisite for dating.

Religion cannot be classified as simple, there are more to it... all have different teaching that can differ from each other tremendously. Therefore cannot just say you do your way, I do my way. Of course things can be work out with tolerance, but if you are not ready to step into it, please don't.. there is always a girl with the same faith with you. Try to find her..

LET THE BRAINWASHING BEGIN!

GUIDE TO NOT GET BRAIN WASH:
1. True love doesn't request your partner to follow whatever the person wishes. So don't fall for such reason:
( If you love me you would go to church with me) (If you love me you would be converting the same religion as me)
If you notice this kind of conversation PUT A STOP SIGN! Remember TRUE LOVE doesn't request your partner to follow whatever the person wishes.

2. YOU JUST NEED ONE RULE! follow back rule 1.

3. If you Rule 1 and 2 fail, DUMP HER and move on~

4. EVERYONE has FREE WILL! if you're being forced to do something you don't want too with sweet word, STOP AND NOTICED THIS IS BRAINWASHING! return back to RULE 1.

5. TOXIC relationship, REALIZED! if your partner say such as if you don't convert he/she will leave you for another. STOP! and LET IT GO! its better to live your lives as a free person then being under some CULT! return back to RULE 1.

This post has been edited by JapanKid89: Jun 22 2017, 04:37 PM

Been in this situation...

Girl took me to her christian gathering.... inside they were talking about mixed religion relationship being bad la etc... crap... feels like I'm with a bunch of "mudah keliru" people...

I walked out and never looked back...

In this kind of situation, the guy always kalah one. In the end, he will be converted to Christian. End of story. Do no expect the girl to follow your religion.

BRAIN WASHER DETECTED!

Don't convert just because of someone

Don't lose your faith just because of others

Do the right thing TS

You are so blind in this
Try asking the other party to convert see how

Love is both side yo

No I see where is the root of madness.
I bet there is some similar lines in Quran.

And you two can fight till the world end.