Bro, these are not arguments centered around Christianity, it's about inter-faith relationship and so happens that Christianity was brought into the picture. I believed it is the same for all religions.

These are logic as to why Christians act the way they do and the main reason why I do not see a big problem having a inter-faith relationship. At the end of the day, every religion have their own stern practice which they have to adhere to. My point is this, society is moving forward and so does each and every individual in it. I am sure you realize day by day you see youngsters, stray further from traditional practices, not knowing why somethings are done the way they should. Heck, even some of the old people do not know why "you do not cut finger nails when you are pregnant".

When asked, they'll answer you "my parents told me" and when further question, you'll be shut off abruptly or rather, rudely.

We live in a society of "hybrids" where everything can intervene harmoniously without necessarily getting into a dispute and it all starts from one's mentality. If we use reasons to understand why somethings are done then we will know whether we can step over it or compromise it. You do not take a concrete wall head on when a sledgehammer is available to you, now.

Take the evolution of female swimsuit for instance, back in the days, swimsuits were very very conventional but as society progresses, it understands the purposes of the suit and eventually, it becomes what we see today but as much as I like it to be as little clothes as possible (=P), there must always be a limit/bar on how low can it go before it becomes unacceptable.

I trust you have watched the Singapore movie "Long Long Time Ago 2", do you remember the scene where the Chinese family and the Indian family talks about how their children's marriage be done? It may not be an accurate depiction of reality but a fairly close one. Now, replace the issue at hand with religion, the same scenario will be reached. It is about compromising.

Extreme perceptions like "marrying out a son", i believe will most probably "die" along when our parents passes. They kept to that perception because they grew up in a very specific society conditioned to evoke that kind of sentiment. For us, it will change, not all, but mostly. The latter generations are mostly taught to think critically, "outside the box" or think in the 4th dimension as some psychicists would phrased in.

As far as funeral goes, paying your last respect to the dead is part of the ritual of sending off. Nothing more, nothing less. The rest to me (no offense) are just "acts" to ease the conscience of the mind, enabling one to sleep soundly at night knowing that you have provided a "proper" channel for the dead to pass on to the next but you also said it yourself "no one knows".

Back to my reasoning, is respecting the death more important than respecting him/her when he/she is still alive and well? Is spending more time at his/her wake bears more weigh than spending time with him/her when he/she is alive and can respond to you?

Sorry to hear about your lost and I apologize in advance that I need to discuss this in the context of your grandfather since you bought it up. You did what you are told because you were told, the reason i guess was negligible because you have forgotten about it and it's not even a year since has passed. Our brain is hot wired to remember important things and forget the less important ones. You remembered you do what you did because it was for your grandfather (because you cared for him) but you forgot the reason why you did the "act" (simply because the act is not important). I deduce, that it was done to avoid society's scorn.

Your grandfather has an idea on how his funeral should be conducted and the wishes of the death must be carried out to its best possible. Now, let me put you in this hypothetical situation. What happens if ALL of your grandfather's descendants or who is entitled to "carry the flag and buy water" converted to Christian (extreme example) and no one is left to carry out the ritual?

Would it be more sensible to carry out a simple sending off OR to not carry out any funeral at all?

Your answer to my question will be the answer to your question to me previously on "what happens if the child is the only son in the family and the mother is not allowed to carry on the ritual". Part of my answer is that eventually, the family will have to resort to the next best thing and the remaining part of the answer will be revealed to you when you deliberate an answer to my question.

:haha: this comment cracked me up.

no religion is bad, it's only those that encourages extremism should be weeded out.

Die but can't close eye (translate from cantonese).

Me.. RC, ex a protestant.. lots of conflict on religious views. Attended her church couple of times and it seems to be the prevailing theme that her church likes to criticise RCs. I really lost respect for that church after that.. and i'm the type that used to like going around other denomination churches to explore.

Currently.. wife buddhist. No conflict in religion.

So based in my limited experience.. 2 different denominations of christianity will create more conflict.

Also my inlaws, relatives and grandparents do practise different religions (buddhist/taoism/etc). When they perform ceremonies and i am there, i just follow the norm. To me, i take it as showing respect to other religions.

I do not understand why some christians are so hardass sometimes.. saying i cannot do this or do that coz i'm a christian. If you really are a christian and secure in your belief.. paying respect to other religions should not be a problem right?

I've been with a Buddhist girl for 10 years (I'm Christian).

Our families no issues.

My church though...

My Wife is Christian and i am a Atheist but somehow before we start off in a relationship i told her not to force me to convert and she agree with it and now we are married, i have went to church with her and even seen her baptism(not sure correct term or not) and yet i am still an Atheist, She respect my wishes but my son was born i register him as a Christian as i cannot put Atheist during registration in Malaysia. FYI my parents are Buddhist but somehow i decide to put my son as a Christian instead even when my wife did not request for it. Ofcourse when he grow older he can decide where he want to be.

Convert if you belief in it not because you are force or told by your loved one to do it.

I like to talk to GOD directly rather than stare to wall. Sorry if I am too straight to the point

mix marriage (as long as it is not with muslim) is quite common in malaysia

my wife and I same situation
I guess no issue
she goes her church, I wash my car

Interesting thread..

Had similiar exp.

One fine day, just found out that she is a Christian. I was like , GG.
Then I probe some more maybe she is not that power la. Because i have Christian friends who are damn selamba one (guys la ).

At the end , she said her partner must be a Christian.

Now I m thinking right, should I even not to bring this up until she falls for me ? Maybe she will compromise abit after she falls for me and knowing I m not Christian?

But for now, I have to call it off knowing she said that also I haven't step in too deep yet. Sigh. I m dissapointed la cause it was the religion who separated us.

I guess it has been working well

For me, as Christian I will not force my future spouse to convert to my religion. It is up to her, if she interested to follow me to church or not. If she ask me to follow her to temple, I also got no issue at all but it doesn't mean I go there for worship.

My aunt (Catholic) got married to a Buddhist in church without any issue. She goes to church as usual on Sundays & her husband go to the temple.

But there are certain conditions for a Catholic to fulfill to be able to marry his/her non-Catholic spouse in the church.

There should be a mutual understanding between both of you. Not forcing your significant other to convert.

This post has been edited by FlatIsJustice: Feb 25 2018, 02:34 PM

I'm not sure what denomination are you but some denominations are strict. Most Protestant circles will oppose if they find out that you are dating a non-Christian and dating to convert is frown upon.

Catholics allow mix marriages and but it will not be sacramental. I presume you are not the super religious type which is why you don't really mind.

Most Christian girls want a 'Godly' man so even nominal Christian men don't even stand a chance. They rather not marry than marry non-Christians.

Actually come think about it, i feel that the Christian guy usually are fine with Buddhist girl based on the response here...

And the prob is always the Christian gal.. but is that true ? I mean the population of guy in Lyn > gal.

Guess kinda bias ?

It depends on the family and denomination. If the parents are devout Christians who serve in churches 3 times a week then they would expect their children to marry devout Christians. Some denominations are more controlling than others. In these denominations, Harry Potter (a fiction book) is regarded witchcraft and they see non-Christians as the 'devil' who is trying to lead them astray.

Perhaps most Christian males in LYN are probably the 'follow parents to church' type of Christian, so they don't really care what religion their partners believe in. Heck some do not even know there is a command that forbids Christians to marry non-Christians. But when asked, they generally prefer a Christian partner too because they tend to be more faithful, less materialistic etc.

There is something called date to convert but this is usually frowned upon because the conversion is not honest. Males are more likely to control more economic resource and hence they have more power in a relationship. If a Christian male were to ask a Buddhist girl to convert, she is more likely to say yes. But if a Christian girl were to ask a Buddhist male to convert, the answer is likely no especially if his parents are hardcore Buddhists.

If I were to think from a female's perspective, girls have saved themselves for marriage. So they probably expect a Christian male who are generally less likely to cheat (sleeping with other girls or is a porn addict). They will look for a more spiritual husband to lead them closer to God. They also would want their children to be raised in church to cultivate good values.

But the majority of Christian circles have more females than males, so some of these girls are still single at the age of 30. Most Christian girls are expected to get married at a very young age. Although Christians claim that the gift of singleness is great, they are also natural hypocrites. Christians who are not married by a certain age are looked down upon by the other members. Then comes the point of desperation whereby these girls lower their standards and are more open to interfaith marriage. However, not everything will work well. Members are likely to disapprove of the marriage and some of these marriages end in divorce.

this reminding my first crush, she mentioned this to me if i don't convert to christian then don't bother to start relationship.

talk with her la. Im Chinese. My Girl fren is Christian. Their parents also same very eager ask me convert. than i say, can no problem. but whats the point of converting if i dont follow. I told them. they never question back. Than i say religion basically are the same. asking you to do goods thing. So at the end they just accept it. If convert to muslim that i might wont.

from my experience , i am very sad to say ,please PLEASE CALL IT OFF!
why?
Qing Ming festival ,nobody gonna clean your parents grave in future ,and it will be covered to dust ?
Hungry Ghost festival ,you also have to pray to your ancestors and such ,you convert ,whose taking care of the urns and stuff?
Converting yourself doesn't mean you can escape your the religion that comes with your birth
You are husband and shes the wife ,shouldn't be both should help each other in a way of tolerating each other in religion wise? she wants go ,she has no rights to force you ,even if you said OK,you wont have to go,remember her friends will start talking shit behind your back ,that's when it ll start the chaotic drama.

Try to deny me ,because this bunch of extremist within the Christianity groups leads to my family breakups ,and worse my aunt was one of them,and guess what she said in front of my family ,'you Buddhist are buried 6 feet underground ,while we christians are buried and straight go to heaven'.I am even more curious because the more they convert ,the more they are told ,thier one step of the ladder to heaven becomes nearer .

I am not saying all are bad ,there is always good ones and bad ,this is my experience dealing with these extremist cunts yet the Church and those rent worship place just turn a blind on such issue .
.

let me share some positive energy here. My christian gf and I, from a buddhist/taoist family are getting marry this coming autumn. Religion is not a problem for us YET.

Before we start our relationship, we had a talk about our religion. We agreed to respect each other and not forcing each other to covert or perform rituals. (Something like, you can go to your sunday service and I can go to my ching ming) Of course, we spent time in understanding what can do and what not. For 6 years, I went to church for christmas and she will come over for CNY big dinner (not reunion dinner, its a huge dinner with all the relatives).

Of course, her parents do hope that I convert and my parents don't. I told them I respect all religious beliefs, I don't mind to learn about it (since I enjoy reading 'em as history books) but I wouldn't convert. So, they don't mind to let me marry their daughter, same goes to my parents to her.

I think the most important thing to do is communication and respect.

I do feel lucky our parents are not that conservative minded.

This post has been edited by ktfong: Feb 26 2018, 02:24 PM

Marrying and converting their partners is one of the ways that Christianity is spread. I see that you say you go to the Church during Christmas...your GF reciprocates by going to Buddhist Temple during Wesak?

Just curious, because "big family dinner" is a family reunion rather than an event with religious theme. "going to church during Christmas" is in that religion ballpark.