Friend, it's better if you dont go for your best friend. Why? Like the rest had mentioned before.. the chances are 50-50 and if you fail, you will fail hard...

I've been in your shoes before. The precious lesson I've learnt is that: Never EVER fall in love with your best friend. A friend is suited to stay as friend.. and not more than that. I dunno if you heard this term but in Malay they call it "Teman Tapi Mesra". Close but only as friends.

Right now my principle is: Falling in love with a complete stranger..coz the time you need to unravel her is considered an adventure, thrill, mystery, etc etc.

Being rejected is common. This is because you dont always get your prize in your 1st try. Normally, you would get in your 2nd, 3rd, 10th, or even 100th try. The way I see it is that if you were rejected, that means you are given the chance to EVALUATE yourself; which part do I lack of? Looks? Communication? Body figure? Where did I go wrong? etc etc. After you have evaluated yourself, then you will come back strong after that.

What to do if you dont want to get rejected? Then you must research on her a little; see the signs that she is giving you, how she treats you compared to other friends, does she shows concern to you, etc. But there are times when you can misinterpret the signals so becareful!


Just my 2 cents bro. Good luck!

You are such lucky men. Great story there...still her bf? Hope u married soon & get lots of sons & daughter.

Yes, we're still together and best years have yet to come.

HM..oddly familiar..i fell for my best friend =p..were going out for 6 months now

TS, go confess with her lar... she reject then only find another way to get back friend... there is always a solution *easy*... she accept u then treat us a McD meal.

so girls with guys as best friends be warned? all these guys have ulterior motive? just waiting for right moment to be gf/bf with them?

anyone seen this movie before?


This post has been edited by baracuda: Jan 22 2007, 08:51 AM

In a sense falling for your best friend may not be such a bad thing, it could be a really good thing is she feels the same way. I mean, you and your partner should be able to be soul mates and be kinda like best friends to one another.

Haiya.. forget about it. Let go la..Ha ha. no kidding.

I have been through such trouble b4.. almost similar with yours. Guys often get fall in love with their close Girl Friends. I donno why. But this kind of relationship is very difficult.

If the girl does not feel the chemistry. U will have 0% chances. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS.. "I CARE FOR HER, I TREAT HER WELL.. SHE SHOULD KNOW THAT I LOVE HER... WHY CANT SHE ACCEPT ME?"

She will answer " I ALWAYS TREATED U AS MY BEST FRIEND. WHO ALWYAS TAKE CARE OF ME. I TREATED YOU LIKE MY BROTHER..."

oh..tats sounds hurtful..but is so common. ha ha. Girls prefer guys who are more Mysterious, Unexpected, and Challenging. Not Friends who are Helpful and always around. Illogical and doesnt make sense huh?

But there is no harm for you to try confess to her now. Dont wait. It is better than when u see her dating with other guy, only then u confess to her.. TOO LATE. HEHE.. tats wat happen to me last time. But dont pressure her. Make it more informal and casual when u confess. Or u'll scare her for the rest of the time. Accept watever decision she made, and dont cry over it. Is not use. Flirt with her and not treat her like a friend. Instead treat like like a spoil Child. Tat will work better.

Had any1 been falling or even had a crush on your fitness instructor? totally un-relevant here, but really curious 2 know.

just do it... never try, never know

yayaya... just friends is a good movie for the TS...

Made me thought back the days when i was just entered college, i have a best friend too, we share the same interest, same hobby, and even same course...that time with her, i told myself i will never fall for her...then rumors keep spreading that we are couples...but that does not affect my feeling and relationship with her...

Till one day, out of sudden, i fall for her, and i started to act strange and she notice that too...but i remembered something she told me, she said once become friends, its hardly to proceed to lover, and luckily i still remember that, if not we might ended to be a normal classmates...One thing is, i confessed, but i did not ask for anything, i told her, i just wanna confess to her, thats all, and tell her that we will be best friend still...

Till now, its already a few years back...but i still trying to hide those feelings on her, coz i need a best friend, and if i confess again, things will never be the same anymore..,and now i dun dare to get along with her too much, coz i'll feel something is between us(only i feel it) [Hope that she din read this, she is a LYN forumer too...]

So, if u wanna confess ur feelings to her, better gv her some hints b4 doin tht, or u can try to observe whether the way she treated u, izit more than just best friends...

in my view,i think its hard 2 couple best fren.u need extra effort 2 lure the feelings n in most cases it doesnt work big time.u can still try your luck though.

... I beliv I'm in the same situation as the thread starter.

I've known this gurl for few months who are a year older than I, actually just three months.

I'm nt sure hw's her feeling towards me, but I'm sure I've some for her. We have been contacting each other for months through sms. We met sometimes after sch ended for me. Before, we were always together after sch.

I'm taking first step in this coming V'day. Planning to surprise her with her fav album, a baquet of rose

I plan to to hide the gifts in different locations in my car, each come with a card that leads to another gift. The last one would be the rose, with a card that I write msg and confess

I beliv she will open the card first and read it, then I will take out the rose and give to her. Hope she will accept me *sweat*

What do you think? Anyway, mind to give some ideas on how shd I confess? I mean the words... the way.

How many roses are best? Preferbly not more than 11. Can't afford haha

This post has been edited by kvys2000: Feb 12 2007, 11:15 PM

Here is something that you guys should have known BEFORE falling for your best friends..

(i took it from another thread where I posted it months ago..)

The Ladder Theory.

Guys generally have ONE ladder. Every girl they meet in their lifetimes are automatically subconciously graded on this ladder.. The higher the girl is on the ladder, the more attractive the guy finds her. The girl at the very top will usually be the one that the guy is most crazy over at any point in time. Several factors affect this grading - primarily how attractive she is, but other factors also include personality, uniqueness, and availability (Jessica Alba is damn hot, but shes not #1 on the ladder for me becoz she is just waayyy unavailable, while "the girl next door" who is not as hot, but who's flirting with me, might just take the top spot for that particular moment in time).

Do note that positions on this ladder constantly changes - even a guy's wife/gf who occupies the top spot can often be moved down 1,2 or even 3 spaces as the guy comes into contact with more attractive ladies - hence the tendency for guys to commit adultery (when they lose control) or just the plain fact that guys CAN like more than 1 girl at any given time.

Now for the girls. Girls have TWO ladders. Every guy they meet will end up on either one of these ladders. The first one is for guys that girls have an 'interest' in - or in other words, prospective lifepartners. The way this ladder works is nearly identical to guys ladders. The big difference comes in the form of the SECOND ladder. This second ladder is for guys whom that they just treat as friends.

What is important to realize is WHICH ladder you're currently located on. It's very possible and easy for a guy to change ladders from the 1st ladder to the 2nd ladder. However, and i can't state this strongly enough, it's extremely risky for a guy to jump from the 2nd ladder to the 1st because very often he'll just miss and fall into the abyss never on either one of the ladders anymore...


If you're ever stuck in such a situation... the line between friendship and relationship is a very very fine line to tread on. And among ALL of the advice given here.. Altie's is the one that makes most sense. You can't afford to rush this. But if you want to make a move, you've got to start somewhere..

The girls are weird in these kinda stuff .. LOL XD I just dont know why. hAhaHAHa

intersting .......



DO NOT get into the FRIENDZONE.... is not SAFE there.... turnaround and WALKAWAY .....

Evan,

One simple quote.

High risk high return, low risk low return.

And I add this.

NO RISK NO RETURN!!!

Nam yan mm sai kheng ni tit yea.

I didn't bother reading all the replies here but I can empathise with you. She and I were the closest of friends for the better part of 3 years. I later developed feelings for her and I let her know about it. She was surprised at first but we eventually ended up going out. We're not together now but my point is that it CAN work out.

Dude, don't be overawed by her looks. How many pretty girls do you see going out with gorgeous hunks? At worst, they aren't ugly lah. I'm in no position to tell you if it's best for you to go after her simply because I can't analyse the situation based on what I have read. The only advice I can give you is to give it a shot only if you are prepared to face the prospect of loosing her as a good friend. I'm not suggesting that you can't be friends after but you'll never be as close. You are already attracted to her and can you imagine seeing her everyday, being close to her and not being able to touch her? Well, I went for it and if you feel strongly enough about her, go for it or you'll regret not every knowing.

MY theory ABC
A- NGAM (u both enjoy chat along ,joke aroud easily)
B - DUI (ur attitude can match her,thinking same)
C - Beauty (wat else need to say ,plus advantage)
if u met ppl with these point
give a TRY

---

Added on February 14, 2007, 4:00 amwhen u reach a level where u love the gal so mch
that u dun even ask for feedback
it's a RISK that u put 100% in
and hope she see and can accept you
if doesnt really accept or follow other guy
then u also live life no regret
at least u wont feel stupid see other guy tackle her away

right?
sometime thing we mst FIGHT for it!
goodluck!
i fighting for my FUTURE
result is up to god already
progress can make me a better man
cheers
dun always think of result too mch sometime

sometime jst FATE .........

This post has been edited by soulmad: Feb 14 2007, 04:00 AM