actually ... not really colleague ... 2 separate legal entities but related

tax and audit ...

it's the other way round

ts, come update

lulz okay boss. Just small update onli.

December is our cuti month. Both of us taking leave for a month. So.. before I go into that, the Fluffy unicorn that I ordered has arrived,

see below,



so, I was thinking about how to give it to her. Her bdays in December and within my japan trip period. So I wont be around town

to celebrate, IF there are plans to. Probably she'll go out karaoke-ing with our circle of friends, or maybe just her circle, i dunno.

Im thinking that I'd want to give it to her after i return. But she too was planning on a trip to UK around when I return. So I asked her,

Me: Yo. whens ur UK trip?
She: Christmas week.
Me: Ooo.. so meaning, when I come back i guess u wont b around.
She: haha yea. Y ah?
Me: No la. I tot wanna sing k at least before I fly again to japan.
She: prob is, when u around im not and when i around ur not. nvmind la, sure get chance.
Me: ya lor..

So after knowing that, i guess the only time I can give it to her wud be when we get back to office. So be it lah. My sing k plan is just a cover up. but few days ago she asked me,

She: when r u around?
Me: huh? around in office? after december la
She: haha din mean that. I mean when r u in the country?
Me: 15 to 24th tokyo. then 28 to 5th osaka. Y ah?
She: come lets sing k before we all leave the country. want to do dis week or next week?
Me: ONNZ..ok next week then.

haahha.. so yea.. din expect that to happen.

well .. at least smtg to cheer for right?

meanwhile .. I've just deleted her chat in my whatsapp

haha. bro.. i might end up like u also.. just later..

waiting for your good news

so already asked her? officially ur gf already? sorry i dont have time to go throught the whole tered... but u said shes a chinese girl and u r not chnese so it got my attention... any tips btw?

haven't. coming soon.

Ahah no la bro. But I'm pretty sure my actions until now could at least let her see the slightest of how I feel.

Hmm, there isn't a defined strategy for it, but I guess one thing to do is always to shatter their perceptions on malays, try to always stand out, be awesome, try to fit in their culture and circle of friends.

To be more specific, I always join her for karaoke outings and would always sing chinese songs with her. I never say no no matter which group of friends she is with, the ones I know or the ones i dont.

someone here taught me to fit in. Okay, maybe not too deep but wherever I can try to squeeze i will try, while still retaining who I really am.

I dont know how this helps me, but i do know im trying my best. And soon, I'd like her to know how much I feel for her.

so just a small update for u guys.

Shes at home while I'm at work. So she was complaining about how hot the weather was today. And she told me that it always rains only after lunch.

So,

Me: Wah so now u can forecast huh? not bad
She: Im good for a lot of lousy talents
Me: No la. Being able to predict like that is a gift.

And then.. we went into this mode,

She: Look into my crystal ball
Me: uuhhh please tell me my future
She: I see... I seeeeeee... greatness lies within u. Ohhhh! ur destined for great things
buttt... there will be challenges
Me: ohhhh.. please predict also where I'm going for lunch
she: Hold on. look into my crystal ball... oh this is difficult.
Me: oh my
she: Your heart wants too many things. Everything is so foggy.

(yea like how it wants you )

Me: Oh my oh my...
she: Patience young man.. there is a light shining.
Me: what does it say what does it say?
She: it says sushi tei.
Me: oh thank u ohh dear fortune teller

I dunno how to feel about this. But it somehow feels slightly kinky..acting in some sort of a themed scenario.

Sigh. she just hurt my feelings.. AGAIN.

I was asking her work related stuff. If she had done something so that I dont have to do it anymore.

Me: Yo can ask u something? Wondering if you've deployed the file before? If u did then I dont have to do it.
She: Did you check your email?
Me: oh yea u did. I saw it. Sorry for asking before checking.
She: Not to go bossy on u or anything, but u shud check first before asking.

At this point I was hurt so much already. I think right, I never question whatever thing that she ask me. She ask I'll answer.

It never crossed my mind if she could've find out herself. Even if I have to korek dalam2 to get the info also I'll do it. Not because of how I feel

towards her or anything, but I just don't simply tell people off. Because, I know how it feels. Okay, maybe I'm not being totally honest with u guys,

I do give her special treatment once in a while. and probably the way i react towards different people is also different, considering how good I treat her

and how bad she treats me.

annnddd... its past an hour since i started writing this. and things happened between that time.

we got into a very ... very big fight.

she was very pissed with what I said afterwards.

gosh. betul2 regret wat i said.

i tried to be honest with her. I told her the things that hurt me previously where whenever i ask her she would just

ask me back if i've checked it myself first or not. I told her that, I know that i can check but sumtimes I casually ask her.

Then she went like, I'm questioning her authority pulak. I know she my senior but that aside I know that we're close enough

for me to be honest with her. But she just took it wayyyyyyyyy further than how I hoped she would. She was very pissed that

I could say things like that to her, and whenever I tell her that I'm not like that when she ask me stuff, and how I try to be nice

and as helpful as I can without questioning etc, she took it like, I was indirectly saying she wasnt helpful at all when I ask her about work.

I didnt want my message to be like that, I just wanted her to know that I get hurt whenever she does that. Not to say shes useless or

that she cannot advise me. Gosh, I really didnt want it to be about work at all. I wanted it to be a human-to-human thing u know.

I told her that it wasnt the first time shes simply telling me off like that and that she would rather give me pep talk rather than

just giving me an answer. But she just blew at me like a storm! I was so afraid. I tried so hard to control the situation,

I apologized bringing it up, I made it clear I was only trying to be honest with her, and I wanted to much for her to not take it that way.

Because at one point, she said, " I dont see you questioning <another senior> about it!".

There, that shows that shes getting very very touchy about it. I didnt want it to be work related at all but too bad shes taking it that way.

Sigh. I dont know how to fix this. I apologized so many times but she kept saying like, "you dont need to apologize. Its for me to improve.

Next time it will be strictly professional." or things like "Oh ok. I will take note of that. Ok. Next time I should talk with u like this like that"

Shes being sooo sarcastic about everything. sum more say "u can reflect this in your upward feedback" .

Later, I apologized again. She said, "you dont need to apologize. these are points for me to improve. And yes I'm not being sarcastic"

What crushed me was this,

"I really appreciate your honesty!"

God. That point, I really feel like nothing I say can fix it. I told her that I know shes pissed.

but she just kept on denying it. and she thanked me for the points I raised up to her.

But guys. shes making it sound so office-ish and work-related. Even her choice of words, sound so formal,

shows that shes really taking it seriously.

Die la I.

I'll give her a call later. I tink I went thru this once but not at this scale.

Wish me luck. I gotta fix this before we meet tomorrow. We have an event that both of us are going to and on Sunday is karaoke.

But just tell me one thing. Was I wrong to be honest? Was i being too much of a pusssyy?

This post has been edited by noonies_naruto: Nov 28 2014, 12:04 PM

have you heard of something before?

gain something from the loss.

its time for you to do special things for her, think of it and put in your ideas.

the most happiest moment is to touch her heart at her lowest point.

*send out flowers to her, to the same exact office, without writing the sender's name*

tell her it was you when she gets back,

just a simple "just hope that you understand, I feel even worse when you're feeling bad"

well, its just a reason/excuse to gift her/surprise her at times.

Yes. Deep down I somehow think this is an opportunity. But its risky to think so.

No worries about that. I tink my initial plan to give her that fluffy unicorn still can work for that.

Just that I need to call her tonight to sort it out.

dont ruin this opportunity mate.

dun worry.

I fixed it last night. Gave her a call.

Took her quite long to pick up when at the last minute she did.

Me: hey.. Hi.
She: Hey
Me: Can talk?
She: Can can
Me: Umm.. I'm very sorry because I hurt ur feelings today.
She: Alaa.. its okay.. chill.. I also buat salah to u before. I'm sorry too. (can hear her slightly tearing up at the other side)
Me: Eh no la. Its my fault. I was being too sensitive. But I know you're sensitive too.
She: Haha yea I am. So I guess kita sama2 berdrama la.
Me: Haha. I like that. Sigh.. I'm very sorry.
She: Ala chill la. You were just being honest. I was in the wrong too. I shouldn't have treated you like that
Me: I was so scared. I kept thinking about it the whole day.
She: Haha really?
Me: But I hope u know that, I really never meant for you to understand it like that. It's just that, sometimes when i get too comfortable I forget who I am.
She: Its okay, I understand.
Me: Yea. I guess being honest, doesnt mean I'm right. I apologize.
She: Aiya how many times do you want to apologize?
Me: I can't be sorry enough. Will you forgive me?
She: That depends.
Me: Eh how la?
She: You have to say sorry to me everyday until I forgive you.
Me: Hahahahaha. okay can. Ok la. See you tomorrow. Bye~
She: haha. bye~

So today Burst is happening so I'll be there.

Today sing K session has been canceled. sigh.

Seems I was the only one enthusiastic about it. She wasnt anymore. Depite it being her the one who invite me first.

So many people either FFK or just dont wan to go sing k. I was putting effort until yesterday, trying to find people here n there,

even tried to recruit some of newly found friends, that were hers, that I met with during yestedays Burst event. But that failed too.

Sigh. I din know I cud be that despo. I asked her the last time last night about it, about the sing k. But from the way she reply,

looks like she sudah malas. She say next time next time. So, I quickly had a change of heart and canceled it myself.

Altho I managed to find some people this morning, I told them I canceled it. Quite sad. Cancelling it because she wasnt that

interested anymore. Wasn't my event in the first place anyways. Began as a cover up to ask her something else,

made me happy when she invited for sing k, and left as a reason for my depression today. Sigh.

Sooo... today damn boring weih ><

Then I thought of watching a movie.. Big Hero 6.

Then I remembered that I signed up for TGVs movie club, and got complimentary

2 movie passes to any movie. Then, I remembered why I signed up in the first place,

because i wanted to use those movie passes to jio my crush go watch something. It really had to be those 2 movie passes

rather than me go belanja her. Coz, Belanja sounds disgusting blehh hahahahahah.. And I think she wont approve if simply want to belanja.

So I thought if i told her I got free movie tix, and invited her, it would've been easier and more accepting.

So today, I jio'ed her. Go watch Big Hero 6.

Me: Yo. Have u watched Big Hero 6?
She: Not yet. Why?
Me: Wanna go watch? I got free movie pass from tgv movie club. Expiring soon. Sooo..
She: When? I want to spend time with <her friends name whos flying off to singapore soon>
Me: Oh go la spend time with her. Actually anytime you're free. Tomorrow also can. Tuesday also. Or next week.
She: Hahahahahahah.. next week is my aussie trip la.
Me: Hahaha. ok la. Have fun with <insert friends name>

Aiyaa.. fail again.. Its the second time I jio her.

I knew already its going to turn out like this. But at least la.. at least laaa... she asked me "when"

hahahahahah! better than, "eh no la I dont wan to just go with u." or "Big hero? dun wan lah. Not interested"

Those were wat i had in mind.

Anyway, looks like I'm going to be out of bullets soon.

This post has been edited by noonies_naruto: Nov 30 2014, 07:03 PM