aiyo bro,

this is girl really like u if not she will no mimic all your action.
She do this because she have no idea how to say yes in relationship.
Now is the time go for it 2nd time confess. If she reject then stop and search for new target.

dear plant... i don't believe that there is such thing as a friend-zone OR i don't understand any definition for this phrase

our culture is such that confessing is taboo. I hate it. We can't help much but to adapt.

In conclusion, you still have a chance, be yourself but remember that being a friend is the same as having a chance to go to the next step in a relationship, there is no need for confession BUT you must not deny your feelings when asked... just answer very very casually like "yalah, u know i like you right... so u can make me take out all my safe deposit without black magic or hypnotism"

sorry guys, i have decided to not go for her.

I now realize she isn't my cup of tea, I am looking for a girl who genuine positive but this girl i tell you la... to those who thinks I still have a chance.

when me and her only.. she's non-stop using her phone, I told her can you at least put down your phone, I am trying to talk to her, but no, she reply
"I am working, just talk to me like this..."

Also, There is one job I am solely responsible for, I told her I can do it, no problem, after a month, I was having doubt and thought of her to give reassurance to boost my morale up but in the end I kena criticism from her and mock me even... saying like "see see, I told you!" I feel so sad cause if she is my friend, at least tell me I can do it! Anyways, I manage to pull the job together, and now is underway without her help.

I don't even talk to her anymore because even if i talk to her, she always talk about herself... then kept mention her mom criticism her character.. she have very different mind-set as I do. My mind set is, I can do it but her mind set is all negative. When I talked to her, I feel my mental and physical draining...

One time, when one of the colleague ask her to go Karaoke, she reply with a "Don't want la, my mom dont want me to go" plus she is really good singer, because she sometime sang in the office. Come on, lady.. already 30++ la..need parent permission meh = ="

One time, I mention why she simply wear clothes lo, she reply "lazy..le" after that I showed concern that she's recently not really happy and asks her what's going on with her life, but she didn't tell me, but i knew it's a family problem.

After a week, she go back wears nice clothes, smiles very often and talks to me... but i ignore her because sometime I asks her to go dinner with colleague, most of the time denial, telling me bullshit such as work need to finish. If i go dinner with her, she always talks about her mom and dad... I got sick and tired listening that shit! =/

One thing I don't understand, she's care what I said to her, and recently I ignore her completely, we talked only when job related, other then that I don't want to talk to her, I think I starting to hate her, so much... and I haven't hate someone sooo much since I was in high school..

She makes me feel small and miserable, sometime she hits me with my self-esteem... =(

of course she have some good traits, such as very good IQ and nice caring person.

This post has been edited by Plant: Nov 15 2013, 01:24 AM

'

I am happy for you. Leave the wimmin alone and close this thread.




You are not compatible with her and obviously you missed what she is telling you. Example like she talks about herself because she trusts you enough to tell you her affairs. You are not looking for this wimmin because she is timid, boring, you want someone who is independent from her parents and able to speak for her thoughts.


Close thread and look for your type of wimmin.

This is what I understand from what you said.

1. She is emotionally sticking to you, but her brains could not accept you. When you confessed to her, she rejected you outright, cause this is her brain talking. Later on, her emotion start to kick in, and you can see that when you try to ignore her.

2. She is seeking attention to you, conscious or not. She is rejecting you, and looking for a small reason to accept you. Because of the stir in her heart / mind, this gets her very emotional, and while she keep on trying to reject you, subconsciously, she is trying to get your attention.

3. This means you got her attention, and if you can maker her brain accept you, you win. However, from what I think, she have this:

a. She does not know how to control her emotion, and will let loose on the person, ie you
b. High IQ does not contribute to high EQ. She mimics you is a method she subconsciously do, and that is to get your attention as well. In a sense, she is someone who has very high pride, proud of her achievement.
c I was having doubt and thought of her to give reassurance to boost my morale up but in the end I kena criticism from her and mock me even... saying like "see see, I told you!" - this is quite funny, really, no joke. In a way, she is mocking you, but to her, she is not. She does not even know she is mocking you. The first thing her brain did was to tell you, "YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTEN TO ME!!!. I am telling you this cause I am concerned about you!!". But her low EQ does not prevent her, and she did not realise that she put in salt to the wound. Hence, in this, I can say that she her social skill in immature. If you asked her, why you tell me this, she will throw another tantrum on to, mostly to cover her ego.


All in all, leaving her is a good choice, I cannot say it is the correct choice. She is over 30 years old. Molding her, or making her more mature is really hard. Better spend your time looking for someone that have better personality. If you go with her, be prepare to endure her outburst

fully agree with runemastertan

Seems like the usual hot-n-cold treatment, when she is not getting enough attention, she comes for you.

When she is getting enough, she tend to ditch you. That's why you are always hearing bout her talking bout herself because it is indirectly saying, PLEASE GIVE ME MORE ATTENTION!

And then come the usual friendzone scenario, they tend to not date you cause they know, you will always be there for them: doormat.

Whenever shitstorm happens, come back to you for assurance and help them pick up the pieces, once its over, SORRY G2G.

Then again, knowing all these shits, sometimes I find myself stuck into this game also.

F*** me.

I wouldn't say they're incompatible. I'd say he's childish.

Frankly, I wouldn't mind a woman who sees a glass as half empty, or has a side that I don't.

But this guy just doesn't want a gf, he wants a mother.

Wow, you seemed like you know the person than I do, and yes she told me exactly the same thing, I dunno how to reply with her action except calmly reply "oo.. okay, I understand"

you know, at first when I first chase her, before the confession, she have some really bad habit and I pointed it out, politely suggesting to change her habit, and you know what, she did change it but after so much accusation and tantrum from her, I just stop caring anymore, all she did was giving me headache, heartache and losing sleep. I tried to talk to her as a adult, obviously she throws tantrum at me non-stop, I tried to be civilized, friendly and courteous about it then she go do the ignore thing at me for few months.

Then after that, my colleague told me she likes her too, I am not surprise at all and he knows what's going on between me and her. According to my colleague, he told me both of us have problem and done something wrong. I admit, I did offended her in some occasion =(

I think my boss begins to suspect, the other day I arrive at the location and boss told me to go in the building, I said okay, lets go in together but he told me I go only.. I was like.. okay... then i go in building, first person i sees is her. Okay, i thought like my boss just fooling with me only.

Then after that, my boss always try to do something related to me and her... =/

This post has been edited by Plant: Nov 18 2013, 01:42 AM

Politely suggesting to change her bad habit is polite to you, but not to her. I dunno why or what happened, but most girls will go tantrum to you. But believe it or not, this is a good sign. I am not basing this on relationship like close friend with close friend, I am basing this on you confessed to her earlier on. She throwing tantrum to you is a sign that she cares for you. They don't like people they care (conscience of not) seeing their weakness. If the same advice, same method was used by someone like her friend, she might accept it calmly, and thinking logically. Get it? I am not expert in this, but if you wanna tell her about her bad habits, and not causing her to throw tantrum, you need to find out how to talk to her. For me, I usually will bring them to Holland (pun intended), make them confuse a bit, point out other people's fault, same or almost the same as them, but not directly pointing to them. This usually is enough to make them think, unless you did not make it clear enough. Well, there was once I got hit too cause the girl realized I was talking about her (she's smart, and she caught it quickly), and ended up not talking to me for a week

Bro, take a break from all these madness. Have peace.

I has a similar situation with TS, an elder girl in her early 30s, colleagues, she's career driven but at the same time a very sweet and friendly girl... we became very close, clicks well, then i fell in love with her... Did things such as dating her out one on one during weekends, buy her small gifts to make her happy... always chatting and msging over the phone at night...

but there's always a hidden part where she would date another guy secretly who she would hide from all the other colleagues including me...

Overtime the truth came out, she is actually in a relationship with another guy (not the secret date)... so I guess she is just keeping her option open for a better person to appear in her life... which I don't think I even stand a chance... I gave up and moved on... But i still keep a healthy colleague relationship with her... She noticed the change but I guess she just couldn't be bothered with a small fly like me...

so what if you being friendzone, friend? this happens so common, time to branch out even into facebook, get to know others http://f45f61ssnlmknl2woblw1vdsf7.hop.clickbank.net/

I think u are not ony froendzoned by her but also brotherzoned by her. She treat u as a bro already

ok, exactly how you make the confession?
this makes a world of difference.

no need detail on confession anymore because it's been 4 months plus already.

Update : I don't talk to her much and she notice it, and she gets really mad about it because all she wants from me is being friend with her, the thing is i don't want to be friend with her and according to my colleague it's been a big misunderstanding.

so in conclusion, we don't talk much lol.. dunno what i could do about it.

good that you're "spared"

even if big misunderstanding, she shouldnt be too clingy with you at the first place. i'm sure being normal casual friends is ok, but the way she "stick" to you is borderline scary

bail out letgo,, get next girl n introduce it to her, let see how she going to react

dunno, i feel like an @rse sometime, like work related thing i never inform her and continue do my thing. She got really piss LOL.

I also found out she likes another guy already, but the thing is i dunno the guy like her or not. =/

Mr_AK 47, I already let her know that i have other option out there already and constantly talks to my ladies colleague without her into conversation. Sometime my colleague would come and disturb me saying thing like "Oh.. you texting a "friend" is it?" actually i am texting a client of mine = = and i buat bodoh. It maybe my imagination, i notice the girl i like give up some kind of reaction.

cybpsych, dunno about sticking part but according to my colleague, all she wanted me to forgive her and be friend with her, now.. she don't look into my eye already.

Actually i like another girl, young girl.. this time i go slow and steady..

well pal, after reading all your interesting stories, now I know that you have a story of your own in your life.

Golden Rule : Never Confess

Why?

1)Make yourself and herself feel comfortable about each other
2)Be there always when ever needed
3)Dont show any signs, be more than friends
4)Call her, text her always
5)A good morning and a good night must always be there
6)Cook her some food, date her to some places

Most importantly, make her feel good about everything (A sales person should knows about this)

and someday, if everything goes well as per 1-6.

She'll get confused, feeling awkward and throw you a pile of questions (What are we? Are we together?)

That's when she realized she has already fall for you.

all the best