I was the first in line at the pharmacy and I asked for 50 condoms.
Two girls behind me started giggling, so I took a grim look at them and said:

In fact, I'll take 52.

A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.

Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect."

To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a c0ck like that."

After celebrating their golden wedding anniversary, an old couple goes to bed. Many of the guests at the party are spending the night in the house.

"Can you remember our wedding night 50 years ago?" asks the husband. "How I cut my finger so that everyone would believe you were still a virgin?"

"I remember," says the wife. "What do you want me to do now? Blow my nose on the sheet so everyone thinks you can still get it up?"