If you re-read the post, I did not refer to a woman that is looking for a reliable man as her soulmate. I was referring to those who sole only purpose is to get a man and be lazy, spend their whole life enjoying, dumping the full responsibility of being a mother. Thought the number of these women are still minority, but it seems getting more common in the new generation.

Moorish.

...has your husband asked you if he is your ACTUAL soul mate yet?

Maybe not now.

Around 40 years old perhaps.

Oh yeah, don't forget to lie to your grandchildren that you didn't marry your husband for being your TRUE ONE.

If I'm to get mad at you, that would be only for a single reason: you didn't read my posts before flaming.

I remeber you are the one who asked moorish to be humble, look at your words, when I was asking if you did read my posts before posting, you didn't answer. Why? Dare not admit? You instead tease me the way I used "facepalm". Do you think you are eligible to ask other to be humble?

You are not eligible to "help" me to see that I'm having wrong mindset when you yourself don't actually look at what you have done wrongly.

I don't think you know what is life all about.

moorish: just because your marriage has lasted doesn't mean that true love and soulmate aren't the same thing.

AND debbie was talking to me about that, not you.

Hey. Just because you gave up looking for a soul mate doesn't mean others have.

Call me naive, but some people rather DIE than to live their lives without knowing who their soul mate is.

Because one cannot live on bread alone.

yes let's all look down on the single, unmarried kids.

I'm not here to argue with you moorish, since you are so firmly entrenched in your opinions and your beliefs that you disregard all else as immature and misguided. But I'd just like to tell you that just because whatever your life is right now works for you, doesn't mean it works for everybody else.

You're not that much older than I am.

If you re-read the post, I did not refer to a woman that is looking for a reliable man as her soulmate. I was referring to those who sole only purpose is to get a man and be lazy, spend their whole life enjoying, dumping the full responsibility of being a mother. Thought the number of these women are still minority, but it seems getting more common in the new generation.

First, I had never said being a mother is enjoying. I am curious to know where and which part of post I had said being a mother is enjoying.

I'm coming from this.


I have to agree that being a mother is very taxing. I am glad I am born as man, being a woman means one have carry baby for 9 months of weight, endure 9 months of 'boring' healthy food, pain when getting the baby out, then have to hold the baby's hand, fulfilling her responsibility as a mother as much as she can. If a woman gone through all that, she is well deserve of having my money base on her contribution. I am very well aware of what makes a good mother, my grandma is one for my dad, my mom is one good mom for me.
Nothing personal here, it seems you like come up something out of nowhere. Even thought clearly didnt mean that.

Maybe you dun mean what you wrote, but that bolded line seem to fused both together, enjoying and the excuse is being a mother, or maybe you mean something else, I duno, i was just reply basing on that bolded part.

moorish: just because your marriage has lasted doesn't mean that true love and soulmate aren't the same thing.

AND debbie was talking to me about that, not you.

Because like I said, you're so entrenched in how perfect your life works for you that anything else said by anybody else you just disregard as immature.

You want to make me laugh to death izzit lol.

oh and about starting a thread about soulmates? Why? What do you know about it? You didn't marry your soulmate, nor did you ever find yours.

ouch sakit perut laughing.

Deadlocks: her husband is "The One I settled for" lah ... there's "the one" in it, good enough

Lol. Think we better stop.

debbie doesn't know half of what she wants. I wouldn't take her opinion seriously if I were you.

Yeah I know the world's watching ... and I know the world's gonna laugh at what you just said about studying soulmates therefore you know all about them. That has GOT to be the funniest shit I've ever heard!

I can be referee!!

Do you even believe in a God?

Ms superficial.

I see. You don't.

Will you claim a stranger as your father rather than your own?

Who is then, is your father?

Do you still need to ask what a soul mate is?

I will tell you this.

Today.

If you ever seen a writing utensil drops on the floor, you will remember what I've asked you.

I thought you knew all about soulmates since you studied them? OR, instead of demanding that he tell you what they are, you can google it yourself?

People who talk about having found their soulmates haven't. People who have, don't talk about it.

lol everybody frickin knows about soulmates. you say you know all about them by studying them, which is really REALLY funny because you obviously didn't bother looking for your soulmate and settled for less ... so how would you know what a soulmate really is?

a soulmate is half of a twin soul. When they meet, they share a deep, intimate connection where they are sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally compatible. There's no explaining how you know you've met him/her, it's just knowledge. It's a personal knowledge that you keep to yourself, which is what I mean by "people who have met their soulmates don't talk about them".

I've just only recently joined a big corporate. Even then they don't advocate power suits and ties, but I get what you mean. Prior to this I've worked for smaller companies with a staff size of less than 10. Prior to that I sold insurance door to door. Those of you who work will notice the occasional pesky insurance agent at the doorstep of your office asking for an opportunity to share a new product with you. Well it may have been me. Why did I decide to sell door to door when I'm a graduate? I thought my motivation was money, but in fact, I wanted job satisfaction, status and recognition more. I'm hoping these three goals will lead me to a treasure chest of course. With some people, it is the other way around. They want money because with it, comes status, recognition, etc.

My point is, I know what jobs are being offered. When I sold insurance, the agencies I worked with consisted of mainly women and I tell ya, they made a lot of money. If you feel that men or women are limited by what's being offered, I can tell you right now that you can create your own opportunities. These days, opportunities that weren't available before are open to women. There may still be discrimination on some countries like Japan or the Middle East, but mostly, it's there for the taking. Women just need to learn not to limit themselves by making excuses.
I'm not going to go down this road because the argument would be based purely on assumptions. I don't have statistics to prove otherwise, I only speak from experience.

All hierarchy's are structured like a pyramid. You are saying that people have to reach the top to live a comfortable life. I don't agree. People have different definitions of how much is enough and most people are content to stay at a certain level because the higher you climb, the more you have on your shoulders so we try to strike a balance. Not everyone aims to be CEO. My boss for example is content to stay where he is now and he rakes home a 5 figure salary.

You ask how many are driven? Well, I can tell you that it's no different with men. I'm not going to use Jusco as an example because that limits the scope of our discussion to a sector that doesn't pay well unless you are part of management. What you've just described is a scenario that every working person is faced with, both men and women. Where I work, there is a fair number of lady bosses. Heck the boss of my boss is a lady and she works harder than almost anyone I know. The way I see it then, a fair number are. What drives them on the other hand, I'm not going to guess. It isn't about how many women want successful careers. It's the fact that women are starting to see that they have opportunities now, and like I said, more and more will continue to want what was traditionally a piece of the pie served only to men.
No different for men. I'm not saying that the majority of women who work, have high career expectations. I'm saying that with the success stories of women I mentioned earlier, more and more will want to emulate them. We all have role models in life, whether it be our parents or someone else. With more and more women attaining success these days, the pool of role models for women have widended.
Money makes money regardless of what gender you are, that's a given. It's also who you know or rather, who knows you. I agree with all of this however I'd also like to think that there are women who earned it on their own. My aunt is one of them. She left school to become a secretary after form 5 to work in a PR firm. She loved her job and years later today, she owns her own firm and makes a really good living. I should know as I sold her an insurance policy back in the day and I'm one of the beneficiaries She didn't know anyone. All her connections were made through her own initiatives. You won't hear of her or read about her, but it just comes to show that there are success stories we may not have heard of.
Same for men.

I think that women are becoming more empowered. This effectively means more competition for men in the workforce. I mean how many men can accept having a more successful wife? Given a choice, you reckon men would rather their wives stay home so as to not put a dent in their egos? I don't disagree that some women work because they have to help make ends meet. I also however realise that more women work because they want more out of life. Your husband can earn mega bucks but by earning yourself, you increase your combined income. It also gives you a sense of independance, spending money you earned on your own. You also grow in confidence and need no longer be submissive because like it or not, men tend to have more control over you when they are the sole income providers. A lot of the benefits from having a successful career are intangible and it's something money cannot buy. I can't pay to feel what it's like to have executed a project succesfully. I can't buy respect because to me, respect is earned, not given.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting all that. Not all men want that either which is why you have losers who mooch of their parents well into adulthood. I just don't want women to limit themselves in what they perceive to be a man's world. Also, natural instinct or whatever aside, I think it's best not to be dependant on another because I buy into the saying, " if you want things to be done right, do it yourself". This is what drives me in my career and if my future wife benefits from it, so be it.

That is your perogative. I would like to coin the following phrase to whoever I meet. "Shoot for the moon and if you miss, you will still land amongst the stars". Could be something to do with the way I was programmed during my insurance days but aside from learning I didn't like that job, the training helped spur me towards greater things. It made me realise that the only people who can limit us, is ourselves. People tend to fear having big dreams because they don't know if they have it in them to push the envelope, or they focus too much on the possibility of failing. Success in life to me however is not about how many times you fall down, it's about how many times you get back up. We all come from different backgrounds and some have an advantage over others but life isn't about being dealt a good hand of cards, it's about how well you play with the hand dealt to you. There may only be a select few that attain a high level of success but who choose to focus on those that don't? Why tell yourself you don't have a chance before you tried?

I'm not a parent and I don't claim to understand what it's like to be one. All I know is that when I have a kid, be it a son or a daughter, I'd want them to have big dreams and then do my best to ensure they are on the right path of realising them. It may be hard but nothing worth doing comes easy. I'd much rather they try and fail, then end up asking if they could have done more but that's just me. I'd rather teach my kids to learn to accept disappointment and learn from it, rather than to fear failure.


Hahaha, we're then just the opposite, I would not tell her to aim high, but then again this would change accordingly if she is no1 in class then I wont mine if she aims to be a doc, if she is the last and she tells me she wanna be a doc then I would tell her be a nurse instead HAHAHA. I dun think I wanna presure her.


Don't think that's a fair comment based on what you said above.


I agree with most of the things you said. I was once pressured into wanting to get married what with all my friends tying the knot one by one. Can't remember how many weddings I've been to in the last 3 years. The thing about fairy tales is that it ends at the wedding ceremony and then you see the caption, "happily ever after". The reality however isn't as blissful. When the fairy tale is over and reality sets in, the marriage is really tested. Some fail the test and drift apart but for those that pass, the bond gets stronger. I may not be married but I do understand quite a bit from observing and talking to close friends.

Having said all that however, I still don't think that people should accept the realities of others. Just because the proportion of people who find their soulmates are low, it deosn't mean you should give up your dream. Just know that it won't fall into your lap. You'll have to work hard at it an prepare yourself for the possibility that it may not be enough.

If I can summarise my whole post, I think the message would be that you draw your own limits. You decide how much you can get out of life. Some want more and some want less. How much do you want?

the problem is our loved one will passed away one day, whether we have done our best or not, it's about accepting reality, aceepting failure in life so we can move on and be a better person, sometimes the reason for not doing our best at that momment it's not because we haven't done our best, it's simply because we aren't that good enough and there is no point in blaming ourself for not being so

a quote from moorish
sure rising up is hard, but that is out of the topic, we are talking about character vs money in a relationship, both is important but the question is which is more important, in moorish stance she want to prove money is the answer and proud of it
everyone in here are human, no only me =P

thus bring up a question, why ? why a person is looking for more money ? in your statement it clearly show security is the reason, nothing wrong with that, but at the same time you're actually condemning people that aren't able to give security in the sense of monetary,


that's when the character comes into the debate where it can prove more important than money in providing security for their love ones
who doesn't want it seriously, and were not debating what you want, we are talking about money and character in finding a husband

damn you always get out of topic with what you want, jeez

i got something to share, a man will appreciates a women more when he is still not rich, compare to a women that just appears infront of him when he is rich



I dont condemn poor people, I was condemning that few guys who cant afford and felt insecure than started attacking me, otherwise I'm find with other people. I dun even wanna change them, thats why I ask to look for the rich, no time to nurture and wait for them.

But hidden deep in the message is, if you marry because of Love only then it will lead to problem, love is not the biggest, you need other supporting character.

Perhaps may be I should clear this up a little more for ur understanding.

I have meet families that are rich, and the mothers spend less time than the maid with their children, it is not that they do not have time. They have no jobs but they put their personal interest ahead of their children. They may allow take a break sometimes from children responsibility but not every week/every day.Thought such women it is still a minority but it is getting more common than b4.

Why has this become RWI material?

Maybe some Staff should move this there.

Someone want to report?

and you are very insecure of yourself too about money don't you think ? plus can you earn yourself to support a family while your hushband is taking care of the family, else i see no differences between you and them

seriously, don't you want your hushband to appreciate you more ? would you tell you children that you wouldn't marry your hushband if he's not rich ?

time and time again it's not the money that counts it the characther of the person, let say if the person is a responsible enough, you don't have to worry whether he is able to support the family because a responsible person would do whatever it takes to give the best to their love one, you leave your bum bf not because of money but because he is irresponsible