Personally I think it take a few years. Perhaps one or two years just to be able to chit chat like normal without feeling awkward in any way.

I broke off in June. Ya it does hurt a little every damn time you see her picture on FB or MSN or whatever... But never mind it... Might as well get used to it than not getting used to it at all.

Welcome welcome. I am also going through the same thing. Now I don't really feel the pinch like it used to. After 4 months, I feel like I've grown to be a stronger and more matured guy.

Just that, friends with her for the mean time is not quite possible. It takes time to accept her to be a friend again don't you think?

I agree with you. For me I am not so ready to accept her as a friend just yet. Probably in a few months down the road I will be able to and I hope I will be able to. My break up did have a big impact on whatever I was doing and still doing. But it seems kinda clear to me what is actually happening around myself now. Those shattered pieces of my life are slowly coming back together with no thanks to some of my friends in and out campus who has been able to help me a little here and there to let the past stay behind and slowly move on step by step.

I've also gotta to agree with everyone that, it really takes some time to accept our ex-es to be nothing but just friends. It's just how ourselves tend to deal with it and how long we actually really need.

Your friend said that "You could save your relationship"? Do you believe what he's telling you? You broke off with your ex or she did?

Good thinking there. Seriously, since you said you given chances to repent from what she has done and she still doesn't repent from it, it's just better to let her go and not to try safe it. It's only going to happen again sometime.

Poor thing you. Like what ZeratoS said, get your buddies, hang out with them, have chats with them and you know, friends would help friends.

Besides you have us here in LYN

Smile

I've been used in a relationship before. The feeling is indescribeable. But tell you what, if you choose not to think about what has happened and just put it aside and also be a lot more careful when going into a relationship again then you should be all fine.

Just my own opinion, the hatred feeling comes from jealousy.

But then again evaluating your issue here, she might find you a little "menyampah" but no offence. It takes time to be able to accept the other party as a friend again. Depending on how each party handles the situation.

Actually that's great you still find it comfortable to be able to talk and hang out with him. I didn't have this kind of comfort neither do I have the courage to do so at least for the time being. I suggest you give each other sometime to hang back.

In fact jealousy is something no one can ever get away with. Not only it is expressed in the form of hatred and anger, but also in the form of trying to limit/control the other party from doing this and that. Yes and that was part of the reason why my relationship ended. *sob*

Another issue due to this jealousy problem is being overly sensitive to things each other does and comparison with other people around us over many things.

Not to say I've gotten over entirely yet, but I would say I am definitely taking baby steps to get over it bit by bit. I now realized that, there were a whole lot of things I did missed out during the time when I was with her because I am sure everyone has this kinda feeling like "the whole world belongs to us now and no one else" and before any of us realized when it's all over, there are tonnes of things we're actually missing out and it's already too late to regret not doing those certain things we knew we could have done.

All I've got to say is that time is precious, do what you can while you can. Time cannot be given but rather it can be shared. (Got this one from a book)

This post has been edited by DreMAx: Nov 23 2009, 01:52 PM

Welcome!

Is not to say impossible for the guy to go back to their ex. It didn't really happened to me that time when I just broke off (in fact got dumped), but that time I did feel something was coming from one of my ex whom I am very close to with. Perhaps it's just me who perasan or something la . But nevertheless, if he decides to turn over a new leaf and you know... change then why not right try taking the chance again?

*Notice the italicize try --> If you find that's too risky since you don't want to get yourself hurt by the same person again then by all means leave him alone. *

I think you've read that book, "The Gift" by Cecelia Ahern

I think I did mentioned about getting rid of that someone in your mind. But never mind let me just repeat myself again, if you want to forget him, don't keep thinking about "Oh come on just forget it. He's not going to come back" or "I need to forget him" and many more. If you keep thinking this way you're never going to forget him and get rid of him in your mind. Don't think about getting over him because if you don't, eventually, the thought of "him" will eventually go away and TADA!! He's no longer in your mind.

OK let me guess, he left you? You see, my girl left me too and it's not strange to have a feeling to be "wanted back". I had that feeling too. But you know after sitting down in the dark room a few nights, I've come to realized something, this is fate and this is destiny which we have no control over. But look at it in a positive way, take this chance to build a stronger foundation for yourself and turn this despair into an opportunity to advance. Also, this is the time you can value yourself, think of it in a way " He doesn't know what he has lost and given up on".

I suggest you leave him to be as he is first for the time being. Don't push him and yourself. I am also sure that you two aren't certain over what you guys want to do and go about it. For now let time do the job. Should everything be smooth sailing miracles will happen. (Praying for you too)

Believe in miracles girl!

Good evening all

The more pain you went through, the stronger you get and the more matured you are.

Anyone wanna go for a swim? It's one of the very few ways where you can get your mind off certain things. Working out is the best solution

Actually that's what I did ever since my girl left me. Every week when I get home from campus I'll take it down to the pool to swim myself tired. It doesn't only feel better when you can sleep soundly thanks to being tired but also it kinda relieves what's in the head.

Probably we people should have a get-together and have a swim all together

Everyone adopts different ways at the very end when we decide to move on. I don't know I just feel like I need to work my physique out to get my mind working in the correct channel, frequency, momentum etc etc

We should organised one one here. Probably a get together activity and then chit chat session. Something ala /k/ gathering la.

Good night everyone! Me going to be orang asli tomorrow for 3 days

This post has been edited by DreMAx: Nov 25 2009, 11:48 PM

Good evening all. I am back again after camp.

@winnie pooh
Yes when your tears stops rolling down when you think of it, it's actually showing signs that you are moving on from it.

Good good. Great to hear that from you. Look at things at a wider perspective from now on and think outside the box.

As for me, I have more time for my studies... My results were kinda bad due to these issues which has bother me 2 months.

I feel so outcast-ed these days since I haven't been able to go online in campus. But never mind that fact.

@nlgoh

You have to let it go bit by bit. Not that we are asking you to let go of it entirely in one go. Practically no one can do that unless you are someone who is always getting in and out from a relationship. Just take it easy and at your own pace.

@WInnIe PoOh

Great to hear that from you. Seriously like what debbieyss said, you have very strong determination. Even stronger than that of I have with me although I am determined to get out from my comfort zone and start working things out for myself.

The key here is not to give up even when you fail, but in fact, stay strong and firm with your principles. Each time we fall, we'll learn about the mistakes and stand up once again.

I have this principle, never repeat the same mistake twice and, never give up even though I am fighting a losing battle.

Good thinking. I get what you mean by "gotten deep down" since much of the time, strength, tears, patience etc has been wasted. Nothing is more important than all time you have wasted and getting back on track to where you want to be and what you want to do.

It's also good that you know how to put it in that way that he's unlucky/dumb/stupid to lose someone like you.