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if a woman hangs out frequently with male group, is it a problem
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TSPetre
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 Aug 23 2025, 07:42 AM
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QUOTE(andrekua2 @ Aug 22 2025, 10:56 PM) Wait, nowadays it become red flag? Back in my days, quite often we see a group of males with 1 or 2 females. Some gals just feel like more comfortable around guys since no backstabbing, comparisons, and talk dirty. this can be true but also can be an excuse to constantly hang around with a bunch of guys. times changed. does it makes a worrying sign when i keep telling her to reduce/stop yet she continue to do it anyway? |
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TSPetre
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Aug 23 2025, 07:44 AM
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QUOTE(yongkt @ Aug 22 2025, 05:36 PM) Even if just pure innocent normal friend gatherings, your wife/gf should reduce or stop doing it because of how you feel. Not for her to admit she did something wrong, but to respect you and your feelings. If she cannot even do that, can consider leaving this relationship. If she dont care about your feelings now, she wont care about your feelings in the future. i see this advice a lot in socmed. i really wonder if this is good advice or just content. |
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andrekua2
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Aug 23 2025, 08:32 AM
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QUOTE(Petre @ Aug 23 2025, 07:42 AM) this can be true but also can be an excuse to constantly hang around with a bunch of guys. times changed. does it makes a worrying sign when i keep telling her to reduce/stop yet she continue to do it anyway? Hard to say... some girls grew up in families where she and her mom are the only females and surround by dad and multiple brothers. |
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heinlein
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Aug 23 2025, 08:39 AM
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Even men being friends after married dun hang out anymore, tok about women hang out with group of men
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youngblood29us
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Aug 23 2025, 09:00 AM
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QUOTE(cempedaklife @ Aug 23 2025, 06:24 AM) I have a group of ex colleagues who had known each other for more than a decade. We were close back when we are young and unmarried. Always go outings and hang out. Only the past 2 years we have catch up like twice a year and we hang till over midnight. We are all married and most have kids now. For me it’s okay. Especially if the bunch of friends is made before coupling or married. It’s their friends. And if you doubt them then I guess you choose the wrong partner. Twice a year totally fine..My wife has a few guy friends too..TS is saying almost on a daily basis which is definitely weird.. |
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LovelyPotato
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Aug 23 2025, 10:30 AM
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Relationship is about trust. If you have mistrust then it’s no longer working. Doesn’t matter if she’s hanging out with other male or anything.
No trust = time to go
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gashout
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Aug 23 2025, 12:24 PM
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QUOTE(GOPI56 @ Aug 22 2025, 03:25 PM) Yup, women will always find better version of men while still being in relationship or married. This behaviour is already hard coded into women. ah, men won't interesting findings. |
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gashout
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Aug 23 2025, 12:25 PM
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QUOTE(youngblood29us @ Aug 23 2025, 09:00 AM) Twice a year totally fine..My wife has a few guy friends too..TS is saying almost on a daily basis which is definitely weird.. this usually office affairs... |
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cempedaklife
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Aug 23 2025, 12:28 PM
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QUOTE(youngblood29us @ Aug 23 2025, 09:00 AM) Twice a year totally fine..My wife has a few guy friends too..TS is saying almost on a daily basis which is definitely weird.. What I’m saying is relationship wise nothing weird. After married and have kids where got so much time? I’m more concern about her priority in life rather than the gender of her friends. |
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cempedaklife
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Aug 23 2025, 12:30 PM
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QUOTE(Petre @ Aug 23 2025, 07:44 AM) i see this advice a lot in socmed. i really wonder if this is good advice or just content. Could be bad or good. If you do that, you are essentially asking her to change her way of life. Doing that is never a good thing to begin with. |
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heinlein
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Aug 23 2025, 12:39 PM
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QUOTE(LovelyPotato @ Aug 23 2025, 10:30 AM) Relationship is about trust. If you have mistrust then it’s no longer working. Doesn’t matter if she’s hanging out with other male or anything. No trust = time to go Trust is overrated and taken for granted, if a guy always go hotel with a girl and tell his waifu you must believe me, we just friends nothing happen between us, anyone will believe meh? |
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LovelyPotato
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Aug 23 2025, 01:12 PM
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QUOTE(heinlein @ Aug 23 2025, 12:39 PM) Trust is overrated and taken for granted, if a guy always go hotel with a girl and tell his waifu you must believe me, we just friends nothing happen between us, anyone will believe meh? Trust is not “asking you to trust them”. Trust is how much you believe/confident what they’re doing without them telling you to. It’s a mutual respect and confidence between each other without the need to convince one another. For OP’s case obviously there’s no more trust, doesn’t matter what other side is telling OP. That obviously means that the relationship is already beyond repair, doesn’t matter what the other side is doing. Even stop meeting those friends will not save this trust issue. This post has been edited by LovelyPotato: Aug 23 2025, 01:14 PM |
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heinlein
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Aug 23 2025, 01:22 PM
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QUOTE(LovelyPotato @ Aug 23 2025, 01:12 PM) Trust is not “asking you to trust them”. Trust is how much you believe/confident what they’re doing without them telling you to. It’s a mutual respect and confidence between each other without the need to convince one another. For OP’s case obviously there’s no more trust, doesn’t matter what other side is telling OP. That obviously means that the relationship is already beyond repair, doesn’t matter what the other side is doing. Even stop meeting those friends will not save this trust issue. True, trust takes time to build and only a second to break it. Had similar experience, once broken, I dun even to listen watever the other party want to say |
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TSPetre
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Aug 23 2025, 05:15 PM
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QUOTE(youngblood29us @ Aug 23 2025, 09:00 AM) Twice a year totally fine..My wife has a few guy friends too..TS is saying almost on a daily basis which is definitely weird.. play pickleball 2 hours, then makan2 another 1.5+2 hours. also have group whatsapp chat...  |
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TSPetre
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Aug 23 2025, 05:17 PM
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QUOTE(gashout @ Aug 23 2025, 12:25 PM) this usually office affairs... play pickleball 2 hours, then makan2 another 1.5+2 hours. also have group whatsapp chat... This post has been edited by Petre: Aug 23 2025, 05:17 PM |
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TSPetre
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Aug 23 2025, 05:17 PM
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QUOTE(LovelyPotato @ Aug 23 2025, 01:12 PM) Trust is not “asking you to trust them”. Trust is how much you believe/confident what they’re doing without them telling you to. It’s a mutual respect and confidence between each other without the need to convince one another. For OP’s case obviously there’s no more trust, doesn’t matter what other side is telling OP. That obviously means that the relationship is already beyond repair, doesn’t matter what the other side is doing. Even stop meeting those friends will not save this trust issue. play pickleball 2 hours, then makan2 another 1.5+2 hours. also have group whatsapp chat... |
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TSPetre
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Aug 23 2025, 05:20 PM
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that being said, how many of you think that, if i ask her to stop meeting and hanging out with this bunch, which she barely knows for only about half a year (we are married for years)..
am i being a jerk?
and if she refuse to, is she being inconsiderate towards our relationship?
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gashout
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Aug 23 2025, 05:59 PM
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QUOTE(Petre @ Aug 23 2025, 05:20 PM) that being said, how many of you think that, if i ask her to stop meeting and hanging out with this bunch, which she barely knows for only about half a year (we are married for years).. am i being a jerk? and if she refuse to, is she being inconsiderate towards our relationship? if you aren't comfortable, talk to her. also trust your 6th sense, if you think she is lying, probably she is... (given you aren't clouded by your past of similar incident) |
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TSPetre
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Aug 23 2025, 06:05 PM
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QUOTE(gashout @ Aug 23 2025, 05:59 PM) if you aren't comfortable, talk to her. also trust your 6th sense, if you think she is lying, probably she is... (given you aren't clouded by your past of similar incident) thanks .i think i understand you. |
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TSPetre
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Aug 23 2025, 06:46 PM
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QUOTE(LovelyPotato @ Aug 23 2025, 01:12 PM) Trust is not “asking you to trust them”. Trust is how much you believe/confident what they’re doing without them telling you to. It’s a mutual respect and confidence between each other without the need to convince one another. For OP’s case obviously there’s no more trust, doesn’t matter what other side is telling OP. That obviously means that the relationship is already beyond repair, doesn’t matter what the other side is doing. Even stop meeting those friends will not save this trust issue. you read between the line quite well |
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