If it's the first date and a woman offers AA, there are several possible reasons:

A) She's testing the man...to gauge how much he likes her, and how the relationship would probably be like if she continues with him. Is he stingy or generous with her?

B) She doesn't like the man that much and friendzones him, so she doesn't want to owe him anything.

C) She has the habit of AA with anyone.

D) She thinks the man is poorer than her and doesn't want to spend his money.

Usually, if a man asks a woman out, he should be paying for the meal on their first date. Common courtesy. Second date and onwards can AA.

(For those who dunno what AA is, it means go Dutch/split bills/pay 50-50.)

This post has been edited by Ralna: Apr 18 2025, 08:04 PM

AA means you pay for your own food. AB means one of you pays for both

TS its all part and parcel of the dating game and thats the fun of it.
Enjoy the experience while you can because before you know, you will meet the one.

This post has been edited by COOLPINK: Apr 18 2025, 08:52 PM

She pay for it or pay half or pay what she order.

I always pay first despite them offering. But come on la. If you offer, I expect you to be serious and not use it as a test.

I offer to pay first and I am genuine about it. There is no testing about it on my part.

Even though I feel like not seeing her again I will always pay first.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Apr 18 2025, 09:59 PM

Ah..never heard of the term b4. Thanks.

And same here, I always pay. Even when the girl offers to pay and i know it will be our first and last date. I will laugh it off and tell her say dont worry about it.

But my first dates are not fancy. I will avoid dinner.
(unless no other choice). And I never pick the girls up on first date. So its a way of thanking her of putting the effort to come.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Apr 19 2025, 08:56 AM

You go across to Singapore and see. Slowly tunggu. Malaysian ladies are getting a good deal and they just expect it to be the norm.

Hello, ladies talk about equality and all, yet have such expectations. Can’t have it both ways.

Our generosity and chivalry is not the norm. Our parents raised us well so don’t take it for granted.

I've worked in Singapore before and been on dates with Singaporean men. Most were well-mannered and paid for the first meal because they wanted to.

At the end of the day, I believe gestures like that depend on whether a woman earns that kind of generosity. Not every woman does, especially if she lacks grace, charm, or even basic courtesy.

Lastly, not all Malaysian/Asian women subscribe to Western feminist ideals of gender equality.

If a Malaysian/Asian man insists on total equality—splitting bills, going Dutch, and a 50-50 approach for everything—he should date someone who shares those same values. They'll feel good going out together and partnering with each other.

However, for other women, it might not be the case. There are women, like me, who still believe in conservative femininity and appreciate male chivalry.

To each their own.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Apr 19 2025, 05:00 PM

It is fine and well, until women weaponize this against men, esp in working and professional environment preaching equality.

I don’t believe in equality simply because women is superior. As a man I can’t give birth.

I'm generally of the opinion that first dates should be casual, just meet for coffee or a walk in the park or something. Much better for building a connection by putting all those expectations aside.

IMO, testing is stupid. Its understandable why one might want to do it, but its impossible to validate the "test".

Came across a story once, where there's this super attractive girl when she goes on first date with guys; will choose the restaurant, and she will treat the waitress like shiet and be super bratty. The waitress is her friend, and the whole thing is an act. She is testing to see if the guy would put up with her behavior. She wants a guy that will call her out on her BS behavior.

Sounds like a good idea, until you think about it a bit deeper. If I was in the guy's shoes, I wouldn't say anything, just end the date and put her in the crazy lady folder. Which is what most guys would do. So end up, she filters out the good men, and the only ones left behind are the sociopaths who would see what's up and play the game. A set up for failure.

Just have your own standard and stick to it. Don't try to beat someone's test either, if you fail it let it be. Do people really want to be a in relationship where they are constantly tested? It would be bloody exhausting.

You are a great example of this, you know what you want and you just lay it out. The one who sticks around will be the one who's compatible with you. You only need one right?

Unfortunately this person PoorButHumble don't agree with me.
https://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopi...#entry111409802

Ya lo. I only need one.

Serious......

If Im the person ask her out, Min buy food for her. (Single Female)

Off course, I like her if not why I ask her out.

About her, I cant control.

Maybe you can say Im dumb.

Just few hours ago, ex wife n kid ask me go for dinner. (Dumb again, pay again.)

On other hand, you will ask me why you do that please!?

Dont hate her!?

Serious, I hate but she is kid mother.

Character is cancer.

Life = Choice.

I always put my family first. mum, kid, ex wife (In no particular order).

Last, if I have new partner then different story.

You got the right mindset, you can’t control the lady’s mind. So do your best.

You are playing a role in your kid’s life.

What your ex wife does to you, doesn’t change your character. She’s a freeloader and you’re generous. And she take advantage of that generosity. You do it for the kid so that kid is raised well.

Don’t let assholes like me in the world change who you are. There’s just too many assholes out there.

It depends on what type of female a guy is going for
for example, if the girl works as DJ as bunch of guys throwing themselves to her, it's common that she will want you to spend on her like at W hotel bar, value as a guy is relative to her own perception and surrounding

of course, the worst kind of experience is you pay for her, she doesn't invest onto conversation or even holding your hands being affectionate lmao