Agree with Ramjade's approach.

TS, if your date can't take you the way you are (personality, character, mindset), it's means she's not the right match for you.

If it's the first date and a woman offers AA, there are several possible reasons:

A) She's testing the man...to gauge how much he likes her, and how the relationship would probably be like if she continues with him. Is he stingy or generous with her?

B) She doesn't like the man that much and friendzones him, so she doesn't want to owe him anything.

C) She has the habit of AA with anyone.

D) She thinks the man is poorer than her and doesn't want to spend his money.

Usually, if a man asks a woman out, he should be paying for the meal on their first date. Common courtesy. Second date and onwards can AA.

(For those who dunno what AA is, it means go Dutch/split bills/pay 50-50.)

This post has been edited by Ralna: Apr 18 2025, 08:04 PM

I've worked in Singapore before and been on dates with Singaporean men. Most were well-mannered and paid for the first meal because they wanted to.

At the end of the day, I believe gestures like that depend on whether a woman earns that kind of generosity. Not every woman does, especially if she lacks grace, charm, or even basic courtesy.

Lastly, not all Malaysian/Asian women subscribe to Western feminist ideals of gender equality.

If a Malaysian/Asian man insists on total equality—splitting bills, going Dutch, and a 50-50 approach for everything—he should date someone who shares those same values. They'll feel good going out together and partnering with each other.

However, for other women, it might not be the case. There are women, like me, who still believe in conservative femininity and appreciate male chivalry.

To each their own.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Apr 19 2025, 05:00 PM