Just need to be hotter than your ex wife. Not necessary a 8 or 10.

Unless ur ex wife is a 8 or 10, which means you will aready experience dating these type of girls, so its a matter of.doing it again.

I think... bamboo door to bamboo door is important

wah this very deep, i dun understand hahaha

I think be with someone who have similar family background, culture is important. Some people you thought you know them well.. but instead. Not at all.

This post has been edited by NinG: Aug 25 2025, 08:46 PM

Ah ok. Makes sense now. Ya it’s also the value we were brought up with that would be important

Yesu. For me on par mindset, communication is very important. Finance will be 3rd.

My 3 most important elements

1. Communication
2. Trust
3. Commitment

It goes by sequence and one cannot survive without the other

All important yea same

someone told me i should try this dunno wat dinner with 5 strangers sort of thing. i'm like nvm no thank u.... i prefer to dine in peace instead of dining with anxiety, make a good impression or whatever the hell it's called

Hi guys,

Just want to chimp in. There are many ladies in their mid 30s who are also looking for companionship. It is not just guys. It is a lot harder for them because men are date younger women due to fertility.

Also, mind share why some of you guys divorced ?

I have a friend who probably downloaded CMB/Tinder/Bumble/etc and matched with a girl. They are already exclusive in a month. He is in his late 30s too and the girl is in her early 30. To me he date down. He just wanted to settle to have kids.

My question is finding partner using dating apps hard ? I have never used it before.

Go out more and go old times flirting

Cafes bookstores clubs

Or some colleagues/relatives can intro

most people scare themselves choose wrongly (the partner)
Including myself
you think he dated down but it's necessary for him to choose that way, most people they choose a partner that represents the model of their own parent, so he's likely to choose his partner based on how his mom treats him

If you consciously make that choice, that's fine
but most people do things alone out of necessity, they unconsciously live in a way that represents their own trauma being triggered over and over

the conscious may I say I'm independent or I don't need anyone
but the subconscious is way powerful that most people will ignore

the matter is, you choose to listen to which voice
because sometimes your awareness is not your true consciousness

Yes. Because he has a history of dating beautiful women.
Of course his values may have changed. He intends to settle down asap for kids.

long term relationship requires a degree of compromise
and compromise doesn't mean weak
which I didn't realize this in my younger years
and if he thinks it's ok to date an average looking female that can potentially raise good values out of his own children, that's ok

Dating a pretty and entitled female comes with an unseen cost

I have seen a few of your posts before. I hope you are doing well.
You have plenty of dating experience.

As for my friend. He doesn't mind as long the lady is fertile.
That's about it.

he's too desperate for kids. I don't. some women don't too. so it becomes harder.

In your opinion do you think this kind of relationship will last ?

this kind of relationship will last on its surface
a lot of relationship is just playing a facade
because if you tried to find two "complete" human being
it's like trying to find 2 out of 200,000 person

The person has to come from a solid family background with near zero trauma

Yes. My friend will make the relationship happen as he is quite a stable (from a relatively large and supportive fam)
I wish him best of luck.
Since he can do it with dating apps, I am sure many guys can do it too. Lower the bar if you want to settle for marriage and kids.