You're welcome 😇🫰🔥

Yeap. This what i argue with her most until turn into big argument. Already sleep together die die still want met said goodnight, keep want me to message. Clingy as hell. Now keep verbal until now i dont care and she also less care anymore. she want merajuk she punya pasal. Enough of entertain her clingy constant want in contact attitude

A bit different from you I think.. We are in ldr...I just ended our video call today (less than 10 minutes) because i notice he is very tired.. We hv very little time together and kinda of torturing. Ldr not for the weak one and always remind myself on that.

Really headache and both of us pain in the ass

Its hard to avoid not to argue 😵‍💫

Argument is common. To maintain/improve a relationship, you need to learn how to argue.

Key points:
- negative emotions will come and you can't control that. But you CAN control it better by 1) understand why you're feeling so, then 2) be conscious of your own emotions and take seconds to think/breathe before you let your raw emotions out. Lastly, 3) communicate to the other about (1) so that that other person understands you or better yet, do something to prevent similar situations in the future.

- it's ok to take time out, but always attach a time limit to it + remind each other you still care, you just need to cool down and think. Without deadline, cold war will continue even for years (true story I heard from 988 Chan Fong 😅)

- argument is often caused by mismatch of something -- find out what and see if either/both sides can agree to something. Sometimes you agree to disagree and that's okay as long as both now understand each other's view. You will learn to compromise in a way or another as long as you still care.

The point is long distance also can argue petite issue. Imagine together physically

This post has been edited by kesvani: Apr 3 2025, 08:31 AM

Actually we never argue at all because he never talk back to me except apologizing for making me feel sad

🫠🫠🫠 end up i feel bad about it. Should hv change my title



This post has been edited by nicole_4ever: Apr 3 2025, 09:01 AM

I'd consider that as an ineffective argument then... His apologies aren't resolving anything, so you continue to repeat the cycle of getting angry and looking for a fight, while he reacts by avoiding addressing the issue altogether.

Right now it's mainly your own insecurities so perhaps there isn't anything for him to do, but imagine in the future you get upset about things like not putting away dirty socks, not helping with chores... if every single thing you're unhappy about him is met with an apology without resolution, you will go crazy one day.

Anyway, your insecurities will not go away on its own and you'll continue to self blame for getting upset all the time, suffocating him in the process. You both need to do something differently to reduce your insecurities.

Still new
Honeymoon period

I let you in a secret. Once the newness/novelty of a woman wears off a man, e.g. she’s new & exciting, pretty, got big melons etc.

His patience will go down and the metric will be how useful or painful you are. Once the pain passes the threshold (every guy has diff threshold) he will start to stray. That’s why even the bf of prettiest woman also can get bored of her shit once novelty is gone.

The saying goes.. behind every successful man there is a woman. What that sentence left out - there is a right woman. If the woman day day drama he where got time to succeed. Everyday layan her bs no energy already.

"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials".  - Confucius (Eastern Philosopher, 500 BCE) 

~

Jobs tells the story of how a widowed man showed him a rock tumbler when he was a little kid. He uses the rock tumbler and process of turning common stones into beautifully polished rocks as a metaphor for a team working really hard on something they're passionate about: "It's through the team—through a group of incredibly talented people—bumping up against each other, having arguments, having fights sometimes, making some noise, and working together... they polish each other and polish the ideas. And what comes out are these really beautiful stones."  

The key to building a great product is a great team, not a great idea.

- Steve Jobs (Modern Age Polymaths)

~

Using the above quotes, see the analogy of the gems ≈ relationship ≈ human. Human relationships are universal :-

Ruler to subject,

Husband to wife,

Parent to children,

Sibling to sibling,

Friend to friend,

Employer to employee,

Employee to employee,

Manager to subordinate, etc.

~

You only need to understand 1 dynamic; the similar principle of understanding can be applicable to the other human relationship. 

A successful romantic relationship "It's through the team of 2—through a carefully paired pair of candidates bumping up against each other, having arguments, having fights sometimes, making some noise, and working together... they polish each other and polish the relationship. And what comes out are these really beautiful, ever-evolving relationships that can withstand the erosion of time."  (modified version)

*It is not the candidate who gives up halfway or the candidate who refuses to change/adapt.


This post has been edited by nihility: Apr 3 2025, 04:08 PM

Wow, love this. If everyone understand... This world full of happiness. Never think of giving him up although our distance are super far now.. And he also very sure that he will not too.

me - want to go where eat ?

she - anywhere also can ...

me - ok, lets go to that kopitiam under the tree

she - *faceblack black* cat 3 typhoon silent treatment

Ya. He also said first year usually honeymoon period then after that... Lol. He is 47 and i blv he much more experience than me where i dont even hv more than 2 bf until age of 36.

During the day, i never kacau him work one. Maybe just few messages like please drive carefully if rain and don't forget to eat and we only video call at night. Used to angry he never reply me until at night lol.

I also understand that if i love this man so much, i need to endure all these obstacles because i blv he is a rare man. Lol. I feel that way maybe because we haven't stay together yet. Well.....

He’s 47? LDR right? Show up one day at his workplace after work when you confirmed he is at work.

To surprise him. Don’t let him know you’re coming. Maybe do it on his birthday.

You can thank me, or you can thank me. Either way you win.

He will be coming this month on the 19 (gonna bring him see my sisters lol). And for some reason, I cant fly until my situation resolved which may take years and he knew it

Despites my flaw... He still accept who i am and is a rare gem.
For now i only able to bought us a couple shirt... Lol. 😅 Hope my situation will be better

This one no issue find issue gaduh type

Lol

Do men feel insecure too? Sometimes i m wondering he feel the same way.

Get yourself some new hobbies to keep yourself occupied n he'll start to miss you n call you without you asking at all. Guys will definitely look at girls in a different way if they see that they have their own life to live instead of being clingy 24/7. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Sis,

1. Spend on you most of time please!?

2. Give you pocket money please!? min 4 figures.

3. Set up spy app on his phone but you will regret.

4. A person take care you n your heart, normally will do what you ask.

5. My point of view, you are just another dumb girl.

6. Quantity Scumbag = Quantity Dumb Boy / Girl.

P/S: I have excellent experience on perfect wife. You totally cant find out any single problem on her until I set up spy app. About this, Im no regret.

This post has been edited by w19: Apr 4 2025, 12:02 AM

Er??

My point of view only.