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 Silly argument

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Takudan
post Apr 3 2025, 01:47 AM

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Argument is common. To maintain/improve a relationship, you need to learn how to argue.

Key points:
- negative emotions will come and you can't control that. But you CAN control it better by 1) understand why you're feeling so, then 2) be conscious of your own emotions and take seconds to think/breathe before you let your raw emotions out. Lastly, 3) communicate to the other about (1) so that that other person understands you or better yet, do something to prevent similar situations in the future.

- it's ok to take time out, but always attach a time limit to it + remind each other you still care, you just need to cool down and think. Without deadline, cold war will continue even for years (true story I heard from 988 Chan Fong 😅)

- argument is often caused by mismatch of something -- find out what and see if either/both sides can agree to something. Sometimes you agree to disagree and that's okay as long as both now understand each other's view. You will learn to compromise in a way or another as long as you still care.
Takudan
post Apr 3 2025, 09:20 AM

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QUOTE(nicole_4ever @ Apr 3 2025, 09:00 AM)
Actually we never argue at all because he never talk back to me except apologizing for making me feel sad

🫠🫠🫠 end up i feel bad about it. Should hv change my title
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I'd consider that as an ineffective argument then... His apologies aren't resolving anything, so you continue to repeat the cycle of getting angry and looking for a fight, while he reacts by avoiding addressing the issue altogether.

Right now it's mainly your own insecurities so perhaps there isn't anything for him to do, but imagine in the future you get upset about things like not putting away dirty socks, not helping with chores... if every single thing you're unhappy about him is met with an apology without resolution, you will go crazy one day.

Anyway, your insecurities will not go away on its own and you'll continue to self blame for getting upset all the time, suffocating him in the process. You both need to do something differently to reduce your insecurities.
Takudan
post Apr 4 2025, 02:48 AM

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QUOTE(nicole_4ever @ Apr 3 2025, 09:20 PM)
Do men feel insecure too? Sometimes i m wondering he feel the same way.
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I'm sure they do too. For example, men who were cheated on in their previous relationships are much more likely to feel insecure when their partner mingles with the opposite sex. The partner should be aware of what they may feel insecure about and how to minimise that.
How to know? Talk lor.
Takudan
post Apr 10 2025, 11:18 PM

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QUOTE(nicole_4ever @ Apr 10 2025, 12:20 PM)
We are like everybody else, met through an app but not tinder or bumble.. I would like not to share which app. I don't know how to get the story straight but we hv been talking for more than a year without i realizing is a same person. He has been used a different user account to approached me and I accepted his proposed to get together. After 2 months and a half i think , he was exposed as a same person along with 12 dupe accounts and one of his account that has been talking with me (i thought he is a girl until been exposed ) for a year and he had a girl friend from Malaysia as well. Together for 1 year. 🫠😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫. In short, i am dumb folded all along.
His gf also playing the app also.. Same room and been talking to me.... Really topkek.

And what happened next is.. He choose me, broke up with his 1 year gf and he transferred all his accounts to his friend and blocked his ex in Line, watsapp. He is quite famous there in that app and never use a single cent lol.

We both stopped hanging in that app and hence i back to /k.

🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠
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You gotta try harder to tell your story lol. From what I read there:
- he two timed on you. Heck, 12 dupe accounts meant that he was spreading his seeds everywhere (figuratively... Who knows literally too)
- he lied to you, so how is he suddenly honest now?
- famous in the app? If it's a dating/hookup app then that sounds very wrong lol

Maybe your insecurities came from those facts above: he surely doesn't paint a picture of loyalty/faithfulness there.

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