in my case , just concentrate on my hobby things that i love to do .. it helps a lot

You still got meet her or even a call?.

All those hobby is just diversion. When sleep or mind to free or something make me remind of her then come back all the though

We remain as friend, but who knows one day we might be back together, as for me i dont put any high hope, just let it be natural

At least still friends and can meet up. Imagine if like me will never see again her again and can see photos only.

My advice always think a good moment with her and keep yourself busy so that you can have a good life, it takes time

------edited---------

This post has been edited by NinG: Dec 28 2024, 11:49 PM

Maybe

Also subconciously keep compare her to EX/GF 1, as she the one understand what i have in mind even though we so far away, she always act and talk mature. Its like adult talking to adult, can have proper discussion.

For sure she will forever in my heart till i scare to lose her photo when with her till i put her photo in my important triple backup flow. Now at night i try not to think of stuff that will make me remember of her.

This post has been edited by kesvani: Dec 13 2024, 11:26 PM

No matter what she do, or said will always caught you.

Today waking up suddenly think of EX2 so go beside browse her photo for a moment. Guess time does not heal after all. Just a patch which can leak occasionally.

1. Delete all contacts from phone, socmed & business. For socmed, create a new profile and delete the old ones. Inform selected friends of the new profile only.
2. Throw or burn all gifts. Expensive gifts like PlayStation can donate to charity.
3. Go for a long vacation alone.
4. Don't answer calls from ex's friends or family members. Cut off all ties immediately. They probably too KPC will ask why and how.
5. Splurge on something nice like a new car, watch, laptop or clothes.

Most importantly, cut off all ties! A single tie back to u may bring all the bad memories back.

Been there before and recovered almost immediately.

This post has been edited by acbc: Dec 22 2024, 11:08 AM

I'll tell you a true story about the Vietnam veterans of which the U.S waged a war back in the 1960s.

This was something real that's happened back in the past btw, and it's up to you to decide if you really want to commit and change. And what happened was that the Vietnam vets were found to be addicted to heroin and other sort of drugs, and a vast majority of them all were doing so.

Due to the pain and mental agony that the soldiers had to live in, longing for peace, love, and rejoicing for better times that they resorted to using all these.

But you can imagine what these soldiers were going through ----- leaving their society, friends and family to fend and conquer a backward country's wilderness. There were times that their comrades who they were just talking alongside with the day before, the minute before, or someone who has gone through difficult times with you to have just perished in the day or night - whether by ambush or gun firing, or even just moments ago to put it into context.

There were also times when they would lose their limbs, organs and stuff, and would have to endure being disabled for the rest of their lives.

Add that to the mental trauma that they had to endure.

So they all went into all sorts of drugs, and I really mean most of the soldiers, and this was found by the U.S administration. They then decided to create a program or pass a law to recall these soldiers back to rehabilitate them.

To the scientists' shocking discovery, in a time where they thought if you ever had to use and abuse drugs, the general consensus was that you are f---ed for life. No matter what, you are just f---ed for life. You are just done and there is no turning back. Your brain is fried and you are a hollow shell of your normal life. But to their absolute shock, what they found was that their scientific belief was absolutely wrong.

Apparently, as they recall these soldiers back, a huge majority of them was successfully rehabilitated as though their addiction vanished out of thin air overnight. It was somehow a miracle to their times and beliefs then.

Further studies found was that it was the environment that subconsciously and primarily influences your habits.

They found that if you would like to change any of your habits, the first and foremost thing you have to do is to change your ambience, and this influences your behaviour and altogether thinking.

So what can we relate back into a heart break?

You already know the answer.

Actually the more you try to avoid it, the more it'll haunt you.

You just need to accept the loss, and move on. You know there's no chance to get back with her.

Be very honest with yourself, the "her" that you miss, that you love, that you are attached to, is the "her" back then. The person she is today is already a different person, and going to get a baby already.

I don't know if its your ego not allowing you to move on from the loss, or you were so into her that you can't let go. Either way, she's gone and the only person stopping you is yourself. There's no need to delete photos or do anything extreme, because it is how you feel that is stopping you.

When we can't change things, we change how we feel about things. As for the "how", you must fully immerse yourself to feel the loss, to feel sad, to feel all the emotions associated with the loss, and after that forgive yourself for losing the person, and tell yourself you can be better and do better.

Everyone we meet in our lives, whether they are stay in your life, or were just a tourist stopping by your life, is here to give you something. Be it joy, sorrow, loss, or whatever, it is part and parcel of life. Never knowing loss, you may not have the appreciation you'd have down the line, and the joy that comes with it.

You will visit this tered 10 years down the road and laugh at yourself being an idiot. But we were all idiots once, and just grow (hopefully) wiser

Not sure where you got the story from, but that conclusion is not quite right.

The addiction is a symptom, so if you address the cause of the symptom, the symptom goes away. People get into drugs because they are in pain and the drugs help them escape the pain of reality. When the vets got back, many of them returned to their families which had good relationship and support. So they became happy again, and don't need drugs to escape; then can focus on dealing with the trauma.

This became known when they did studies on rats. Initially they got the rats hooked on drugs, that's why they concluded that drugs were so potent. Someone realised that the environment the rats were in was depressing to begin with. So instead of a rat cage, they build a proper home for the rats to allow play and socialising. Then they found out the rats don't get addicted to drugs, and even find in unappealing.

So just changing his "ambience" won't work. He needs the thing that's basic to happiness, which is meaningful and purposeful life, which often requires accountability in a community as well.

Atomic Habits book by James Clear.

You broke up with your ex because argue on something or just broke peacefully ?
I bet 60% is argue on something

No1 or 2. If its 2 we broke due to distance and she know I have 1. Also she is islam and have 2 kids so she distance herself slowly. Disappear into thin air. This just summary but its very long long story

Make you cannot tahan thinking first or second 1?

Keep thinking of second. The first still stay with me

No come out sit down and talk peacefully bila putus ?
If got and become normal friend I think you will be better ,
I suffer-ing something similar like you . Keep thinking and trying to move on .

Problem is she indonesia. Also if not mistaken back to her husband already. I dont mind being friend problem is differemt country.

We putus like she distant herself and using some reason to avoid meet me when I at there. Can sense it already when there last time.

Now reply to you cause I suppose to sleep now but see her facebook new photo and and kinda overwhelm with sadness/depress keep thinking about her when try to sleep. So now I outside taking wind before go back home to sleep. Help a bit to supress the sadness.



This post has been edited by kesvani: Jan 2 2025, 01:00 AM