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> 🏳️‍🌈 LGBTQ Community, Discussion regarding LGBTQ

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WallMaker
post Feb 13 2020, 08:56 PM

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what should be discuss in this thread?
Solar Calendar
post Feb 13 2020, 10:42 PM

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There is only 2 genders. Prove me wrong.
TSinternaldisputes
post Feb 14 2020, 09:13 AM

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QUOTE(sweet_pez @ Feb 13 2020, 01:47 PM)
internaldisputes i have amended the title as it will be more for discussion rather than 'networking'.

Guys this is Serious /K so please adhere to the rules and be civilized in comments/ discussion.
NO TROLLING in Serious /K section.
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Alright thanks! icon_rolleyes.gif

QUOTE(V429 @ Feb 13 2020, 01:56 PM)
Good day, may I ask a question please?

I've noticed some lesbian or gay couples have.. Roles. For example, one tends to be more masculine and the other tend to be more feminine?

Sometimes for some couples this is rather obvious and for some others it is not apparent. I usually notice this in Chinese couples, but less so in Caucasian couples. (Just my casual unscientific observation).

So I am wondering does this role thing apply to most lesbian or gay couples? Just that some are more apparent than others?
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Among gays we have bottoms and tops... Bottoms are the ones getting penetrated and tops are the ones penetrating. But those are just terms exclusive for anal sex. Although we tend to joke about bottoms being the more feminine of the two, there are people who don't really follow the trend— feminine tops, masculine bottoms, etc.

My partner and I are both "versatile" and we don't really have any roles that we play. We both due house chores and we both go to work. We are equal in all ways.

QUOTE(kl920930 @ Feb 13 2020, 02:06 PM)
I'm not into lgbt but I know a friend of mine that was gay and his parents did not approve the relationship. lastly he shifted out of the house and rarely goes home ever since unless parents ask him to come back for dinner etc.

his parents actually loves him a lot but he views his bf more important than his parents. btw both of them together I think about 4 years already

how do you all cope with such situation? share some suggestion then maybe I can tell him or his parents how to be at peace together smile.gif
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Yeah that is a common theme among LGBT people because it's pretty rare that a family will accept someone for being LGBT. I have came out to my family (my mom specifically) through a phone call and I thought it ended pretty ok but as I found out later she is not as accepting as she still asks me when will I get married, etc. It's pretty annoying but I guess I can just keep deflecting those questions until she pass away. I have brought my bf (introduced just as a friend) last month to meet her and she gets along with him great. So I'm thankful for that.

Personally, I think LGBT people should not be afraid to cut ties with their family if the love that their family have towards them is pure toxic.

QUOTE(seventwo @ Feb 13 2020, 03:32 PM)
haha it's a bit early tho you found out. biggrin.gif but it’s okay
Do have a question here, since you re Malaysian, i believe you should know about it, where is, there is one transgender (man to woman) have performed worship but in ways that the guy do not follow the true teachings.

I do not want you to speak from a religious point of view, so what do you think about this from a human right and moral standpoint. smile.gif
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I think it's great that she is exercising her right to worship. And she brought her parents too! A lot of people thinks that since we are LGBT, none of us care about religion but that is not true. My bf for example still prays 5 times a day and he wants to go to Mecca one day. I on the other hand, is pretty agnostic these days but I respect him and everyone else for still keeping in touch with their faith.

The whole is issue is pretty silly because the crime was committed in a foreign country but everyone here wants her to be punished here. Pretty sure that's not how law works (I'm not a lawyer though).
V429
post Feb 14 2020, 09:27 AM

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QUOTE(internaldisputes @ Feb 14 2020, 09:13 AM)
My partner and I are both "versatile" and we don't really have any roles that we play. We both due house chores and we both go to work. We are equal in all ways.
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Thanks for sharing.

Can I ask in your experience, does 'family dynamics' affect a person's sexual orientation? I am asking because I noticed 2 cases where seemingly the lesbians lack stable fatherly figure? I suppose this is an oversimplification, a very surface level observation and probably have more unaccounted factors to be considered, but I am still curious and hope you can share you views on this. smile.gif
TSinternaldisputes
post Feb 14 2020, 09:34 AM

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QUOTE(WallMaker @ Feb 13 2020, 08:56 PM)
what should be discuss in this thread?
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Anything! LGBT is a pretty complex topic and I'm sure LGBT themselves (especially the closeted ones) have lots of misconceptions about the community and themselves.

QUOTE(Solar Calendar @ Feb 13 2020, 10:42 PM)
There is only 2 genders. Prove me wrong.
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There are plenty of scientific research to support the diversity of human genders but I don't think I will be able to convince or prove to you about transgendered people since I don't really dive deep into all those research. Being a plain old cisgender male, I don't really have first-hand experience of being transgender too. I can only say I've met a trans man (assigned female at birth) and I've learned a lot through his experience and struggles. But I don't think I can convince you through personal anecdotes either.

If someone who is a transgender can hop into the discussion that would be great! In Malaysia, we have icons like Nisha Ayub who is constantly engaging with the government to highlight transgender rights but there is still a lot of work to be done.
TSinternaldisputes
post Feb 14 2020, 09:43 AM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Feb 14 2020, 09:27 AM)
Thanks for sharing.

Can I ask in your experience, does 'family dynamics' affect a person's sexual orientation? I am asking because I noticed 2 cases where seemingly the lesbians lack stable fatherly figure? I suppose this is an oversimplification, a very surface level observation and probably have more unaccounted factors to be considered, but I am still curious and hope you can share you views on this. smile.gif
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Can't speak for lesbians but in my case I'm not so close to my dad and most of my family of 10 siblings are female. Maybe the lack of father figure and constant feminine interactions affect me or maybe they don't. I can't say for sure. sweat.gif I do have guy friends who are closer with their dads more than their moms and still end up gay, though.

Personally I think homosexuality is genetic so regardless of how I interacted with my family, my parents should be held accountable for passing me the gay gene. innocent.gif
V429
post Feb 14 2020, 09:58 AM

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QUOTE(internaldisputes @ Feb 14 2020, 09:43 AM)
Can't speak for lesbians but in my case I'm not so close to my dad and most of my family of 10 siblings are female. Maybe the lack of father figure and constant feminine interactions affect me or maybe they don't. I can't say for sure.  sweat.gif I do have guy friends  who are closer with their dads more than their moms and still end up gay, though.

Personally I think homosexuality is genetic so regardless of how I interacted with my family, my parents should be held accountable for passing me the gay gene.  innocent.gif
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I see. Interesting.

Lastly I wonder what are the things that people not familiar with LGBT community do or say that may unknowingly cause offense, annoyance or discomfort to people within the community?

I was going to ask how should people not familiar with LGBT community treat people within the community, but I can already guess the answer : to treat them just like how you treat anyone and everyone else, hence the above slightly tweaked question.

TSinternaldisputes
post Feb 14 2020, 10:12 AM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Feb 14 2020, 09:58 AM)
I see. Interesting.

Lastly I wonder what are the things that people not familiar with LGBT community do or say that may unknowingly cause offense, annoyance or discomfort to people within the community?

I was going to ask how should people not familiar with LGBT community treat people within the community, but I can already guess the answer : to treat them just like how you treat anyone and everyone else, hence the above slightly tweaked question.
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At the top of my head is men saying , “Wait, you’re not attracted to me right”. sweat.gif

But yeah, just treat LGBT people that you meet like everyone else. If you feel what you about to say is offensive, it probably is. Asking transgender people what pronoun they prefer is totally okay though.

I think this article pretty much covers the rest:
'Are You the Husband or the Wife' 6 Things NOT to Say to LGBT People
Source: https://www.diversityinc.com/are-you-the-hu...o-say-to-lgbts/
DoomCognition
post Feb 14 2020, 10:17 AM

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Support your rights to not being harassed!
V429
post Feb 14 2020, 10:26 AM

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QUOTE(internaldisputes @ Feb 14 2020, 10:12 AM)
At the top of my head is men saying , “Wait, you’re not attracted to me right”.  sweat.gif

But yeah, just treat LGBT people that you meet like everyone else. If you feel what you about to say is offensive, it probably is. Asking transgender people what pronoun they prefer is totally okay though.

I think this article pretty much covers the rest:
'Are You the Husband or the Wife' 6 Things NOT to Say to LGBT People
Source: https://www.diversityinc.com/are-you-the-hu...o-say-to-lgbts/
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Thanks for the share. It's quite informative.

Speaking of pronoun, non-binary gender is something I discovered on twitter recently. Very new & confusing and is quite a big paradigm shift for me. It's going to take some time to learn.

Have a nice day.

This post has been edited by V429: Feb 14 2020, 10:28 AM
Havoc Knightmare
post Feb 14 2020, 11:01 AM

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I've been around LYN for ages but never been out on this forum, so here am I. In person, I am fairly out with my friends, family members and even some colleagues. I am a 32 year old Chinese guy based in KL. I'm somewhat of an oddity, being gay and socially conservative but not particularly closeted at the same time.

In any case, glad to see a serious thread on the topic. I avoided the previous LGBT thread that existed years ago because I'm not really keen on all the banter. Would be happy to help answer any questions that people have.

For those of you straight guys who are wondering, it is not a 'choice', in the same way that one does not choose to prefer chocolate over strawberry icecream. And I don't think anything 'caused' us to be this way. I LOLed at the wrestling bit because I never heard of anyone turning gay because of that.

Personally, I don't like to be 'identified' as gay by my social circle because it is just a small part of my life. Like I wouldn't want to be exclusively identified as being 'male' or 'Chinese'.

This post has been edited by Havoc Knightmare: Feb 14 2020, 11:06 AM
TSinternaldisputes
post Feb 14 2020, 11:18 AM

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QUOTE(DoomCognition @ Feb 14 2020, 10:17 AM)
Support your rights to not being harassed!
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We appreciate that! Thank you so much!

QUOTE(V429 @ Feb 14 2020, 10:26 AM)
Thanks for the share. It's quite informative.

Speaking of pronoun, non-binary gender is something I discovered on twitter recently. Very new & confusing and is quite a big paradigm shift for me. It's going to take some time to learn.

Have a nice day.
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You're welcome! Haha non-binary is fairly new term for me too. Have a nice day too!

QUOTE(Havoc Knightmare @ Feb 14 2020, 11:01 AM)
I've been around LYN for ages but never been out on this forum, so here am I. In person, I am fairly out with my friends, family members and even some colleagues. I am a 32 year old Chinese guy based in KL. I'm somewhat of an oddity, being gay and socially conservative but not particularly closeted at the same time.

In any case, glad to see a serious thread on the topic. I avoided the previous LGBT thread that existed years ago because I'm not really keen on all the banter. Would be happy to help answer any questions that people have.

For those of you straight guys who are wondering, it is not a 'choice', in the same way that one does not choose to prefer chocolate over strawberry icecream. And I don't think anything 'caused' us to be this way. I LOLed at the wrestling bit because I never heard of anyone turning gay because of that.

Personally, I don't like to be 'identified' as gay by my social circle because it is just a small part of my life. Like I wouldn't want to be exclusively identified as being 'male' or 'Chinese'.
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Hey there! Yeah, my friend taught me to always choose our battles because sometimes people are just so set in their ways and there is no way we get to change their views. I like to remind myself that our society as a whole has become a little more accepting towards LGBT and according to Pew Research Center it is true although just marginally.

I agree about not having to come out. It's a personal choice and I only come out to people on need to know basis. That being said, I always post LGBT materials on my Whatsapp updates so everyone in my contacts should be able to connect the dots.
Hades76
post Feb 14 2020, 11:29 AM

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Hello LGBT. Just reading this thread for fun. People are quite tolerant when it comes to LGBT as long as it doesnt encroach on other people's feelings.

However what Sajat did was totally wrong. He knows the situation both here and Saudi on this matter and yet flew in as a male and perform umrah as a female and happily posting on social media. Thats purposely asking for trouble ( or fame ).

Nothing against the LGBT society, but sometimes they just want attention and hopes there is no backlash from traditional Malaysia.

We are not even near West level of tolerance, thus dont lah test the waters. Just lay low, enjoy your lifestyle and no one will focus on this.


TSinternaldisputes
post Feb 14 2020, 03:12 PM

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QUOTE(Hades76 @ Feb 14 2020, 11:29 AM)
Hello LGBT. Just reading this thread for fun. People are quite tolerant when it comes to LGBT as long as it doesnt encroach on other people's feelings.

However what Sajat did was totally wrong. He knows the situation both here and Saudi on this matter and yet flew in as a male and perform umrah as a female and happily posting on social media. Thats purposely asking for trouble ( or fame ).

Nothing against the LGBT society, but sometimes they just want attention and hopes there is no backlash from traditional Malaysia.

We are not even near West level of tolerance, thus dont lah test the waters. Just lay low, enjoy your lifestyle and no one will focus on this.
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Hello there. smile.gif

Laying low is good and all but where should we draw the line? We were just having fun in our own establishment, and the authorities suddenly decided to raid us. Our transgender sisters are just minding their own business trying to find money, but people simply beat them up for no reason. We want to watch our favourite movies, and the government keeps censoring and banning them for spreading LGBT agenda.

Don't get me started on Facebook comments blaming LGBT for all the wrong in the world: tsunamis, forest fires, coronavirus, etc. rclxub.gif
darkmusses
post Feb 14 2020, 04:14 PM

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The peace we will achieve if we mind our own business if there is no intention of helping instead of bashing. What make matter worst the LGBT community like to "bitch" or downplay because of the small "inner" circle they are in which is toxic.

Just live a life without the ill wishing to others will make the world a better place ..
palankon
post Feb 15 2020, 03:20 PM

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i have no problem with LGBT. as long they dont harrass me. i have many experience being harrassed by gays even though i already tell them im straight. why you keep trying hard !! ???
Taikor.Taikun
post Feb 15 2020, 05:23 PM

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Is it easy to find partner? By interaction, networking, apps, agency or something?
RGRaj
post Feb 16 2020, 09:25 AM

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QUOTE(Solar Calendar @ Feb 13 2020, 10:42 PM)
There is only 2 genders. Prove me wrong.
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1. straight male
2. straight female
3. hemaprodhite with varrying chromosome pairs

But not all LBGT r hemaprodhites. Most r jus biologicaly straight males & females who "feel" diferently about themselves.
UpsideDownYeah
post Feb 17 2020, 01:35 AM

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I'm curious if there is alot of cases where gays are attracted at straight guys , isn't it a little uncomfortable ?
hellkvr
post Feb 17 2020, 04:32 PM

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Hi All,

i wonder if this case happend to any of you guys, my friend, once a very straight man, was crush when he find out his gf cheating behind him, in later he become 100% gay, how? now he always hangout with all his gym fren which i know they are gay too. wonder how brain trigger this.


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