Since we have a lot of different groups here, I figured we should make one for LGBT too. Contrary to what our ex-tourism minister had claimed, we do actually exist.

Just a little introduction about myself: You guys can call me Giga. I'm a 28 years old malay gay guy currently living in KL. Nice to meet you guys!

Feel free to use this thread to discuss LGBT issues in the country and beyond. Anyone with any questions about the LGBT community feel free to drop your questions here too. We will try to answer as best as we can.

🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍👨‍👦👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍👩‍👦

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Added on

This post has been edited by internaldisputes: Mar 17 2021, 04:49 PM

That's great. We've pm'ed back and forth before. He's a nice guy.

Probably when I was 7/8? Because I remember feeling some type of way looking at wrestling shows on TV.

Probably. I don't think it will get more obscene than the discussion on /k though.

This post has been edited by internaldisputes: Feb 13 2020, 12:42 PM

Alright thanks!

Among gays we have bottoms and tops... Bottoms are the ones getting penetrated and tops are the ones penetrating. But those are just terms exclusive for anal sex. Although we tend to joke about bottoms being the more feminine of the two, there are people who don't really follow the trend— feminine tops, masculine bottoms, etc.

My partner and I are both "versatile" and we don't really have any roles that we play. We both due house chores and we both go to work. We are equal in all ways.

Yeah that is a common theme among LGBT people because it's pretty rare that a family will accept someone for being LGBT. I have came out to my family (my mom specifically) through a phone call and I thought it ended pretty ok but as I found out later she is not as accepting as she still asks me when will I get married, etc. It's pretty annoying but I guess I can just keep deflecting those questions until she pass away. I have brought my bf (introduced just as a friend) last month to meet her and she gets along with him great. So I'm thankful for that.

Personally, I think LGBT people should not be afraid to cut ties with their family if the love that their family have towards them is pure toxic.

I think it's great that she is exercising her right to worship. And she brought her parents too! A lot of people thinks that since we are LGBT, none of us care about religion but that is not true. My bf for example still prays 5 times a day and he wants to go to Mecca one day. I on the other hand, is pretty agnostic these days but I respect him and everyone else for still keeping in touch with their faith.

The whole is issue is pretty silly because the crime was committed in a foreign country but everyone here wants her to be punished here. Pretty sure that's not how law works (I'm not a lawyer though).

Anything! LGBT is a pretty complex topic and I'm sure LGBT themselves (especially the closeted ones) have lots of misconceptions about the community and themselves.

There are plenty of scientific research to support the diversity of human genders but I don't think I will be able to convince or prove to you about transgendered people since I don't really dive deep into all those research. Being a plain old cisgender male, I don't really have first-hand experience of being transgender too. I can only say I've met a trans man (assigned female at birth) and I've learned a lot through his experience and struggles. But I don't think I can convince you through personal anecdotes either.

If someone who is a transgender can hop into the discussion that would be great! In Malaysia, we have icons like Nisha Ayub who is constantly engaging with the government to highlight transgender rights but there is still a lot of work to be done.

Can't speak for lesbians but in my case I'm not so close to my dad and most of my family of 10 siblings are female. Maybe the lack of father figure and constant feminine interactions affect me or maybe they don't. I can't say for sure. I do have guy friends who are closer with their dads more than their moms and still end up gay, though.

Personally I think homosexuality is genetic so regardless of how I interacted with my family, my parents should be held accountable for passing me the gay gene.

At the top of my head is men saying , “Wait, you’re not attracted to me right”.

But yeah, just treat LGBT people that you meet like everyone else. If you feel what you about to say is offensive, it probably is. Asking transgender people what pronoun they prefer is totally okay though.

I think this article pretty much covers the rest:
'Are You the Husband or the Wife' 6 Things NOT to Say to LGBT People
Source: https://www.diversityinc.com/are-you-the-hu...o-say-to-lgbts/

We appreciate that! Thank you so much!

You're welcome! Haha non-binary is fairly new term for me too. Have a nice day too!

Hey there! Yeah, my friend taught me to always choose our battles because sometimes people are just so set in their ways and there is no way we get to change their views. I like to remind myself that our society as a whole has become a little more accepting towards LGBT and according to Pew Research Center it is true although just marginally.

I agree about not having to come out. It's a personal choice and I only come out to people on need to know basis. That being said, I always post LGBT materials on my Whatsapp updates so everyone in my contacts should be able to connect the dots.

Hello there.

Laying low is good and all but where should we draw the line? We were just having fun in our own establishment, and the authorities suddenly decided to raid us. Our transgender sisters are just minding their own business trying to find money, but people simply beat them up for no reason. We want to watch our favourite movies, and the government keeps censoring and banning them for spreading LGBT agenda.

Don't get me started on Facebook comments blaming LGBT for all the wrong in the world: tsunamis, forest fires, coronavirus, etc.

It's pretty hard! The first thing is to detect who is gay and who is not. Some people have excellent "gaydars" and they can detect another gay person from miles away regardless of how masculine the guy is. I don't really have that so I need to rely solely on apps. There are a lot of dating apps which cater for every spectrum of the LGBT community available through the Play Store/App Store. Thankfully, none are being banned by the government yet. The most famous one for gays is called Grindr. Most if not all of of these apps are geared primarily towards hookups, though. And most people in there are discreet and refuse to share anything about themselves which is super frustrating sometimes.

So there is a lot of layers to peel through in order to finally find someone as a partner.

Personally, I've met my current boyfriend last year in a LGBT gathering through sheer coincidence. I feel like I've won a lottery.

My gay friends and I talk about hot guys all the time regardless of whether or not they are gay. At the gym it can get pretty suffocating being surrounded by muscular guys but I try to zone them out by listening to music and really focusing on my workouts. I think the situation is not really unique to LGBT since I'm sure straight people have crushes on certain people and unable to act on them because of whatever reason. As long as we know our limits then it's fine, I guess. We are all humans afterall.

Hey there! So they're both a couple now? Such cases are pretty rare but I suspect your friend is not 100% straight to begin win. There is this thing called Kinsey Scale which measures how straight or not straight someone is. Maybe your friend is somewhere in the middle of the scale.

I used to think about migrating before. I did fill up a form to become a Canadian PR. But it was mainly because I was pretty lonely back then— little to no friends, poor relationship with my family, etc. Now that all the situations improve, I don't feel like wanting to go anywhere else. Besides, I'm not that adventurous haha. Moving from Perak (my hometown) to KL is all I could muster. How about you?

Hi! Welcome!

Oh, I'm from Taiping originally. I go back home for Raya once or twice a year only.

That's great! I'm happy for you. I wish I can tune out all the local news sometimes. but maybe I have a news addiction or something because I just can't. It always leave me feeling anxious afterwards because they hardly report anything positive these days. Anyway. you're spot on about the superficiality and pretentiousness of our community. I'm still on Grindr and I have seen and experienced so many unbelievable things in there. Discrimination, racism, bullying, etc... My theory is that we as gay people we were subjected to a lot of emotional abuse growing up and most of us still hold on to that negative energy/trauma. A lot needs to be done to reverse this, starting with teaching ourselves about self-acceptance.

Maybe this is something you can participate in? Statistically there should be hundreds of thousands of gay people in Malaysia and most of them should be in KL. Finding like minded people is maybe hard, but not impossible haha.

Yeah, Taiping is pretty awesome. Maybe I will retire there one day. We'll see haha.

That's a good theory too! Good for you for not using Grindr. The only reason I'm there is to do some outreach work. I have to promise myself not to spend more than an hour a day on it otherwise I'd go insane.

I dream of the day when a politician would openly support LGBT—perhaps run as the first openly gay MP— however everyone knows that would be a political suicide. Those who did in the past like Zaid Ibrahim, are nobodies in the government. Oh I've heard rumours about Anwar and even Azmin from my friends but whether they are gay or not, it's kinda irrelevant because I doubt they gonna do anything to advance our cause anytime soon.

I haven't been to that meetup specifically. The gathering that I participate in mostly consists of Malay non-professionals so they are a lot to deal with haha. But I still love the people I meet there. Another gathering group is People Like Us Hangout (PLU). They actually won a Human Rights Award last year for their effort in community building. So there is no shortage of groups that a LGBT person can join, despite all the restrictions in place. I understand not wanting to participate in any of these though because they usually gonna ask to submit our personal details and not many want to do that because they are discreet.

This post has been edited by internaldisputes: Feb 18 2020, 02:56 PM

Aww thanks! Do check this thread every once in a while.

The internet is one of the area the government has not extensively regulate yet (unlike other media) so it's important for people like us to craft our own narratives and not be afraid to speak up now— at least that's what I think.

I have some friends who were funded by The Malaysian AIDS Foundation to carry out free HIV testing, peer-to-peer support and everything so I am on Grindr mainly to help them with their KPIs by spreading the word around. Plus maybe invite the people there to our frequent gatherings and hangout sessions. I'm not paid or anything haha... Just want to contribute something to the community as a form of charity I guess.

Oh I understand. I think all these groups—regardless of how they advertised themselves— have their own agenda to pressure the government to legalise or ease the challenges faced by LGBT. If someone is not concerned about that and enjoy the status quo, it's probably best to stay away from them.

I just thought every LGBT person needs at least another LGBT friend because we are in the middle of loneliness epidemic. Have you read this article before? The article really hit home for me. I remember getting tested for HIV and the doctor asked me if I have any emergency contact if the result turned out unfavourable and I had to tell the doctor I never thought about that. We ended up leaving the field empty.

Hi. You're welcome!

Nah, I'm sure lesbian have their own struggles especially when it comes to acceptance from their family. One thing they don't have to worry about is HIV because that mainly affects gay people.

Well same-sex marriage is definitely not recognised yet in Malaysia. And because of that adoption as a same-sex couple is impossible. But there are people like Sajat who managed to adopt a child. Not really sure how she applied. Last year she made several videos on social media pleading the authorities not to take her daughter away. No more updates after that.

Haha I'm open for that possibility! But we need to establish some sort of screening first to avoid unknowingly inviting JAIS officer or something.

Haha I don't know. People got arrested for simply waving pride flags before. So who knows what sort of rules they gonna come up with to justify our arrests.

Haha sounds good. Once this thread becomes more active, maybe we will get back to organizing it.

Today I learned Malaysia used to have pride before 1990's.

Yeah, I'm anxious. Next few years gonna be tough.