Just woke up. Back to sleep.

Damn.. I am hvg trouble to sleep for 2 weeks now.. Might hv health problem soon...

life is like driving a car in a way, not everyone including you give way to others all the time, and that could fuk up somebody's day. But hey man, can't always keep blaming yourself as the fall guy for fukkking up, sometimes u just gotta drive straight, and dont look back.

How are you bro? Feeling better now?
Just checking out on ya..
While for me, tomorrow i have speaking test, made me anxiety so i come surf k a bit.

How's your sleeping pattern? Cannot sleep all or able to sleep but keep waking up?

Stress bro?

Yeah trying to bro. Working hard to stand back up to show her this mistake doesnt define who I am and hopefully she sees it and give me the chance to make things right.

Hey bro. Ups and downs but getting better. The worst part pass dy now I am just trying to build myself back and take changes in life. Hopefully the steps that I take will show her my repentance and that this mistake does not define who I am. Also called her last night and we talked for a while. Can sense that she is still struggling herself to cope with the damages I caused. I just plan to take things slow and keep in touch with her once a week maybe to show her I care and hopefully she does not repel away from me.

Hows your speaking test? As in presentation?

hope often leads to disappointment, heh
expect less, better to keep you sane.

But without hope what keeps me going?

yourself and just you, working towards becoming a better you. How to do that ? By building new experiences, thats where u learn thru trial and error, to become better.

then, the next time your moment comes, even if with someone u feel special for, you will be more prepared than now, and not be making mistakes like last time.

Try to sleep but juz can't.. Unless make myself very tired.. Like in the morning juz can sleep or need to put on earphone open some YouTube talk, speech of story of China history or similar juz can sleep... Probably.. Stress play a big part..

You listen to story of China cause its boring and make you sleep or you are really interested in it? Why stress bro? Working or studying?

Yeap thanks bro. That is also what I try doing and telling myself. But I just cant ignore the fact my mistake hurt someone badly.

And I know its cliche but hope my next moment is still with the same person.

Interested, but it's funny I can sleep easily when I am. Concentrate to listen to it... Out of job.

Only read 1st post.

My only advice is man up and face it like a man.

Being guiltily won't make things better.

Move on and forget about it.

Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

To succeed in this world, necessary evil is virtue. Too pusseh will make us being eaten alive and die alone. Is that what you want?

Yeah.. hopefully she will come back to u, then all is well.

Japanese speaking test, ask questions

Okay bro. Hope you can find your sleep back. I know the feeling of wanting to sleep but just fill with so much thoughts inside you keeping you from sleeping.

In fact, I slept early just now at 10 cause was really tired but woke up now cause I dream we patch back dy in my dream.
Somehow we are together in KL and having a lunch with her friend and husband. The friend mom bought her a bag earlier. When she showed me the bag, I asked her you will use this meh implying that the design is not what she like. She told me the strap already putus. Funny is I only saw her friend and the husband once before.


This post has been edited by prelude23: Dec 4 2019, 03:05 AM

Thanks bro.

How did you speaking test go? All well?

Nervous, but ok ba, lecturer says not bad.

Now doing project, a bit stress.

How u feeling today?

That is quite a dream. Do you still wake up in the middle of night regularly due to anxiety?