Nov 30 2019, 01:14 AM
QUOTE(V429 @ Nov 29 2019, 09:08 AM)
I know this is slightly off topic but I have always wondered what made her change her mind in her previous relationship with the church guy and did a U-Turn? My understanding from reading other threads is that they were legally married for some period of time, long enough for you to met them twice at a grocery store but some thread mentions she only got together with him for like 1 week before coming back to beg to see her children. I am a bit confused regarding the timeline for this.
Was it that she came back to you due to the though of losing her children that ate away at her? Or was it because she found out she loves you the most? But pls allow me to say that I am happy both of you worked things out together and got back together again.
No worries. Will answer it. Was it that she came back to you due to the though of losing her children that ate away at her? Or was it because she found out she loves you the most? But pls allow me to say that I am happy both of you worked things out together and got back together again.
The confusion also stems from my own misunderstanding of the situation plus not paying attention to what she was saying 90% of the time during that time when we were at a cold war.
I was mostly overseas from Feb to May this year and we were in one of those cold wars which at that time I didn't really give a toss as I was pursuing something with one American woman.
She got to know the guy that was pursuing her in Jan when he started attending the same church. He wanted a relationship but some of her cell group members told her to refrain from relationships as she had not recovered from our last attempt at reconciliation and told her to pray about it.
In June when I spoke to her she said she was being pursued by someone and he was planning for them to have a church wedding and to start a family but the church had many requirements such as counselling, classes and mentoring because both of them were divorced. I thought they had bypassed the church requirements and had a civil registration but he wanted to have a church wedding and to go through with it but she did not have money to pay for the counselling and classes.
We bumped into each other at Publika in early June, I was heading out and they had just parked. She introduced me to him and I gave him a Donald Trump style handshake. We did not say much other than I told her she had not made arrangements as to how she was going to pay for the damage to the paintwork of the Renault I was then driving, she had vandalized it during one of our fights and scratched it front to rear and side to side as well as she broke one of the side mirrors. She told me she was still jobless therefore had no money to pay, he stepped in to pay until I told him it was a RM7,000 bill to which he told her no need to pay. I told them no worries I had the CCTV footage of her damaging the car and I would let the insurance company deal with it.
Late June, I was at Publika to buy steaks as we had a party the next day, they were there together with our children to buy stuff for a church gathering. I so happened to be there with the American woman and our children pulled their mum to where I was and her face turned black and sour. Our daughter asked me why I was holding the American woman's hand and not their mum's hand. He tried to hold her hand but she brushed it off. Our son then asked me whether I was buying steaks for them to eat and said they long time never eaten steak or fish everyday only can eat pork, chicken or sardine and eggs. I asked their mum if it was true. She kept quiet. I told him to go on his church function on his own, I took out RM500 from my wallet and gave it to my daughter to hold, I told their mum to go buy enough groceries for our children to eat and on my next visitation day I was coming to check the house to see what shit state it was in. He started telling me I cannot tell her what to do and I wasn't allowed to go to her house. I told him to stay out of it and to get on with his shopping. She told me they came in his car, I told her very well then, buy up to RM450 and use the RM50 to take a taxi home. He stomped off. I had a fantastic date except my phone kept ringing because some wasn't happy she saw me with another woman.
It was right after that that he told her in order for them to be able to pursue a relationship our children cannot live with her and that she should return the house she was living in. He met her parents to ask for their approval to start a relationship and made several promises. He then asked them for some help to convince her to send the children away. That was when her father pressured her to pass the children to me. He did not realize the consequences of him asking her to do so.
3 days after I picked them up to live with me, she called me to ask how they were. He found out she had called me and said she wasn't sincere with him and said no point in having a relationship if she kept contacting me as he wanted her to have zero contact with me. She told him it wasn't going to work at that point in time.
As for why she came back? Most women who had been close to her children can never give them up easily. There were a few incidents that ate into her with regard to losing them, she was stalking my FB, there were several videos of our son sitting on that American woman's lap doing stuff from making cookies to her feeding him cake and the one that got her the most were that of them hugging or kissing. She told me that wasn't allowed, I told her she gave them up someone has to give him the motherly affection he needs. The next incident that ate into her was the school contacted her and asked why our daughter had been absent, it was then that she realized I had changed their school, she asked me why I had done it as that was something she would never had agreed, I told her I no longer needed her agreement. The final one that drove her crazy, her younger sister works for me, at that time she wasn't on talking terms with the family, I brought them to work, she took several selfies including one of our kids kissing both her cheeks and then sent it to her with a message something along the lines "Bet it is something you want but can no longer do." That one was quite brutal because she also took them out on 2 outings and purposely took plenty of photos and videos and tagged the elder sister. Elder sister messaged her the younger sister and told her she was going to kill her if she posted another such photo or video.
When I allowed her to see the children 6 weeks later, she never left the condo for 5 days and on the 6th she went away for an hour to get a bag of clothes and toiletries, that's when she said she had come back to reclaim her family to make it whole again and she could only have 1 husband and his name was written on her back. I told her show me she can be a good and the best mum for our children and I would consider taking her back.
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