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 Stop bringing your date to the movies, it is lame

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MasBoleh!
post Feb 17 2019, 04:24 AM

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QUOTE(fearless_kiki @ Feb 14 2019, 03:43 PM)
There are tasty healthy food available. Or even better tip, make healthy food for her!  smile.gif  activities wise, try not to do very extreme exercise. It will scare her out. Maybe can do a little cycling which is more chill than hiking. Try to make exercise a fun activity.
*
Oh yea, that sounded like a good idea. Cycling.i always had this plan of cycling around the justice palace if Putrajaya at night. I heard we can also rent bicycle in Putrajaya park.

Anymore place to recommend other than Shah Alam one? 😊

QUOTE(RubMyGenie_ @ Feb 15 2019, 03:07 PM)
landwhale on a diet? Well there are still a lot of options to bring her to:

- Restaurants that serves healthy food (make sure it still tastes good, read reviews first before going)
- Cook for her, nothing beats this - cooking for your partner is always romantic and sweet, even when it tastes like shit - it still will taste like 5 Star Michelin dish to your love ones.
- And lastly, just hold her soft and warm squishy waist, lean towards to her ear and whisper softly, "My dear, you don't need to be on a diet, you're already perfect for me", then give her a kiss on her cheeks and slowly move outwards while maintaining eye contact. Wah I tell you brother, better you don't do that if she's in your car, else when she releases her Niagara Falls, your car will get flooded from the inside.
*
Wahhh I like the last point. Legit point although I think the Korean had done it a lot of times in their dramas, this will surely wet the seat notworthy.gif
Ecnerwal
post Feb 17 2019, 04:48 AM

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Hah.
Really. No offense but this really sounds like a joke from someone who doesn't date.

Firstly this so highly depends on the girl and not just the guy. So this so called article becomes a too generic high level idea. And it just becomes an idea.

Secondly nobody goes just for a movie for the date alone. It should always be paired with dinner or another event or activity. If you do just the movie alone then yes you're definitely not prepared. Our unless your conversational skills are very good, then good for you and her.

No. Do not assume those list of activities are suitable.
Those are a good list for extra activity and might not for a date.
Some of these are easily a friend zone, bro zone activity.

Like i said, it highly depends on your "date". If you don't understand him /her, you're not doing things right. And this normally takes time. Don't rush. And don't expect typical advice if list like this to work.

Just do it as comfortably as you could. Nobody likes a jittery date. Coz you'll end up adopting nonsense or spoiling the date.



QUOTE(fearless_kiki @ Feb 12 2019, 08:42 PM)
So I had a conversation with other people about where guys would bring dates to. The most cliche response were: go to movies, follow up with a dinner. (because everyone watches movies so it's a no brainer?)

You know what?

Bringing your date to the movies is the worst place you can bring.

You are wasting 2 hours of your date having 0 interactions.  You cannot be touchy touchy to the girl because she's not your girlfriend (at least not yet). Any attempts would be deemed as hamsap. After the movie you think you have 1 topic to start the conversation?  Well,  what if the movie suck? Or even if the movie is good,  you learn nothing about her,  and she learns nothing about you too. And...  You don't stand out from the 99 guys that are courting her too.

*Thanks to other forummers. Updated with suggestions of alternative venues* (please note the activities are based on individuals. So please do your research before the date itself to avoid dissapointment)

1. Hipster cafe
2. Karaoke
3. Park
4. Events or popout bazaars
5. Window shopping
6. Ice skating
7. Hiking
8. Airport or other sight seeing places
9. Cycling
10. Arcade
11. Places with good scenery
12. Boating
13. Learn cooking in bakery schools
14. Bowling
15. Archery
16. Theme park
17. Farm / zoo
18. Concert
19. Sepang Circuit
20. Beach
21. Batu caves or other cultural venues
*
This post has been edited by Ecnerwal: Feb 17 2019, 04:49 AM
TSfearless_kiki
post Feb 17 2019, 07:58 AM

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QUOTE(Ecnerwal @ Feb 17 2019, 04:48 AM)
Hah.
Really. No offense but this really sounds like a joke from someone who doesn't date.

Firstly this so highly depends on the girl and not just the guy. So this so called article becomes a too generic high level idea. And it just becomes an idea.

Secondly nobody goes just for a movie for the date alone. It should always be paired with dinner or another event or activity. If you do just the movie alone then yes you're definitely not prepared. Our unless your conversational skills are very good, then good for you and her.

No. Do not assume those list of activities are suitable.
Those are a good list for extra activity and might not for a date.
Some of these are easily a friend zone, bro zone activity.

Like i said, it highly depends on your "date". If you don't understand him /her, you're not doing things right. And this normally takes time. Don't rush. And don't expect typical advice if list like this to work.

Just do it as comfortably as you could. Nobody likes a jittery date. Coz you'll end up adopting nonsense or spoiling the date.
*
Well there are many lyn members who can't date to save their lives though. (as seen in other TS)

As I mentioned and I agree with you, need to do research of the date and understand him/her to date accordingly.
Ecnerwal
post Feb 17 2019, 10:42 AM

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QUOTE(fearless_kiki @ Feb 17 2019, 07:58 AM)
Well there are many lyn members who can't date to save their lives though. (as seen in other TS)

As I mentioned and I agree with you, need to do research of the date and understand him/her to date accordingly.
*
I can only share simple effective tips.

1. Don't assume that the date is immediately your lifetime partner. It's good to be sincerely in love, but don't over display until it's creeping her out.

2. Be a good man, reliable, trustworthy. How? Firstly need to be a friend who can listen more. First few dates, try not to talk too much. Ask few simple questions first. Depends on her response, you can show more interest to listen to her more to explain.
E.g. If you know she's in IT course, you can ask something like "why did you pick the IT course?", and anything she answers, you can show more interest in wondering why? (subtly) like "oh?", open your eyes bigger with interest, and ask further "is that what all girls think of IT?" or "what made you think or have those thoughts?"
Consider your body language. It's quite important to learn this.

3. Don't lie nor over exagerrate things. May work for short term but once exposed or realized things never work out well. There will be "expectations" already once that happens.

Activities doesn't really matter. It's the chance and opportunity to converse and find out more with each other.

While you're right movie dating don't interact much, like I said noone dates just with the movie.
Even if you fetch her, you get to talk to her while driving. Makan, also can talk. Walking before or after also can talk. Or other activity before or after.
Movie part you can get to find out more of her preference of movies and for her to find out about yours.
Jesslyn_Chee
post Feb 17 2019, 11:19 PM

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Thanks for sharing smile.gif
tctham
post Feb 18 2019, 03:01 PM

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QUOTE(fearless_kiki @ Feb 12 2019, 08:42 PM)
So I had a conversation with other people about where guys would bring dates to. The most cliche response were: go to movies, follow up with a dinner. (because everyone watches movies so it's a no brainer?)

You know what?

Bringing your date to the movies is the worst place you can bring.

You are wasting 2 hours of your date having 0 interactions.  You cannot be touchy touchy to the girl because she's not your girlfriend (at least not yet). Any attempts would be deemed as hamsap. After the movie you think you have 1 topic to start the conversation?  Well,  what if the movie suck? Or even if the movie is good,  you learn nothing about her,  and she learns nothing about you too. And...  You don't stand out from the 99 guys that are courting her too.

*Thanks to other forummers. Updated with suggestions of alternative venues* (please note the activities are based on individuals. So please do your research before the date itself to avoid dissapointment)

1. Hipster cafe
2. Karaoke
3. Park
4. Events or popout bazaars
5. Window shopping
6. Ice skating
7. Hiking
8. Airport or other sight seeing places
9. Cycling
10. Arcade
11. Places with good scenery
12. Boating
13. Learn cooking in bakery schools
14. Bowling
15. Archery
16. Theme park
17. Farm / zoo
18. Concert
19. Sepang Circuit
20. Beach
21. Batu caves or other cultural venues
*
Lemme tell you why movie and dinner is a good idea.

You ask a girl out, you have no idea what her preferences are. I saw you updated a lot of suggestions, but on a high level, let's break down the options.

Category:
- Indoor / Outdoor
- Sport / Leisure
- Packed environment / chill environment
- Coffee / Tea / Beer
- Sweet food / non-sweet food

Some people, can be one and not the other, while some can be both. Without foresight or additional information, you have a 50:50 chance of getting it wrong. And getting it wrong will means it is a terrible date for the girl as you are bringing her to do something that she really dislike. Imagine a princess, don't like being under the sun, you bring her to the beach, where there's scarcely any shades. Sure the beach view is amazing, but it's sunny, and the girl hates being sweaty.

If you watch the movie, and you only can find 1 thing to talk about, I can conclude 2 possible description about you and your date.
1. you chose a terrible movie which have very little in its plot. whole movie talk about 1 thing only.
2. you have poor communication / observation skills.

When I bring up a topic, i don't ask it in a way that the girl will respond to it by saying Yes/No.

Make it an open ended question, "oh, for that scene, if it was you, what would you have done instead? do you think that character could have prevented the misunderstanding from escalating if she had confronted her partner instead of assuming?"

if you ask this type of question, not just you're making a conversation, you have a nice scenario set up by the movie, and you get to understand the girl further, on whether is she a confrontational person and if she is the type that is willing to talk about the problem in the relationship as opposed to running away.

Make use of the movie, to understand more about the girl and what she likes, then use the information for subsequent dates.
TSfearless_kiki
post Feb 18 2019, 06:11 PM

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QUOTE(Ecnerwal @ Feb 17 2019, 10:42 AM)
I can only share simple effective tips.

1. Don't assume that the date is immediately your lifetime partner. It's good to be sincerely in love, but don't over display until it's creeping her out.

2. Be a good man, reliable, trustworthy. How? Firstly need to be a friend who can listen more. First few dates, try not to talk too much. Ask few simple questions first. Depends on her response, you can show more interest to listen to her more to explain.
E.g. If you know she's in IT course, you can ask something like "why did you pick the IT course?", and anything she answers, you can show more interest in wondering why? (subtly) like "oh?", open your eyes bigger with interest, and ask further "is that what all girls think of IT?" or "what made you think or have those thoughts?"
Consider your body language. It's quite important to learn this.

3. Don't lie nor over exagerrate things. May work for short term but once exposed or realized things never work out well. There will be "expectations" already once that happens.

Activities doesn't really matter. It's the chance and opportunity to converse and find out more with each other.

While you're right movie dating don't interact much, like I said noone dates just with the movie.
Even if you fetch her, you get to talk to her while driving. Makan, also can talk. Walking before or after also can talk. Or other activity before or after.
Movie part you can get to find out more of her preference of movies and for her to find out about yours.
*
Great tips!

I feel like many guys especially cc guys tend to forget 1 and 2. This is based on an experiment I made previously. I don't know about 3 because they already failed the 1st 2 elements due to despo. Especially 2nd point as they don't seem to care who you truly are but only how you might look like.
TSfearless_kiki
post Feb 18 2019, 06:23 PM

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QUOTE(tctham @ Feb 18 2019, 03:01 PM)
Lemme tell you why movie and dinner is a good idea.

You ask a girl out, you have no idea what her preferences are. I saw you updated a lot of suggestions, but on a high level, let's break down the options.

Category:
- Indoor / Outdoor
- Sport / Leisure
- Packed environment / chill environment
- Coffee / Tea / Beer
- Sweet food / non-sweet food

Some people, can be one and not the other, while some can be both. Without foresight or additional information, you have a 50:50 chance of getting it wrong. And getting it wrong will means it is a terrible date for the girl as you are bringing her to do something that she really dislike. Imagine a princess, don't like being under the sun, you bring her to the beach, where there's scarcely any shades. Sure the beach view is amazing, but it's sunny, and the girl hates being sweaty.

If you watch the movie, and you only can find 1 thing to talk about, I can conclude 2 possible description about you and your date.
1. you chose a terrible movie which have very little in its plot. whole movie talk about 1 thing only.
2. you have poor communication / observation skills.

When I bring up a topic, i don't ask it in a way that the girl will respond to it by saying Yes/No.

Make it an open ended question, "oh, for that scene, if it was you, what would you have done instead? do you think that character could have prevented the misunderstanding from escalating if she had confronted her partner instead of assuming?"

if you ask this type of question, not just you're making a conversation, you have a nice scenario set up by the movie, and you get to understand the girl further, on whether is she a confrontational person and if she is the type that is willing to talk about the problem in the relationship as opposed to running away.

Make use of the movie, to understand more about the girl and what she likes, then use the information for subsequent dates.
*
Well, in terms of understanding or knowing what a person likes, can be gauged through conversations. Unless maybe if you want to date a stranger like the salesgirl in the mall then you have a point.

But then if she is a princess and you can't tolerate princess attitude then hey, beach is a good place to test her. And you don't have to waste time on her after that.

However I'm really speechless on your last point, on making use of the movie plot to know a person. That's actually genius! Give you a thumbs up! But I wonder how many guys are have the quick response like you though...


AgogoLatoto
post Feb 21 2019, 11:41 AM

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any events this saturday to bring a girl...?
ViktorJ
post Feb 21 2019, 11:49 AM

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QUOTE(AgogoLatoto @ Feb 21 2019, 11:41 AM)
any events this saturday to bring a girl...?
*
Budget? Location? First date ka?

Er ok, I just read your thread.

https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/4741441/

I must admit, I would not really know how to help you. Sorry.



This post has been edited by ViktorJ: Feb 21 2019, 12:00 PM
nebula87
post Feb 21 2019, 11:59 AM

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First date should just a coffee talk, don't do movies and etc.

First date is to know your other half better IMO.
AgogoLatoto
post Feb 21 2019, 11:59 AM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Feb 21 2019, 11:49 AM)
Budget? Location? First date ka?
*
second date
i wanna see if she is gold digger or not
first date already bring to fancy restaurant
planning for something casual, nothing rigorous
location kl


ViktorJ
post Feb 21 2019, 12:03 PM

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QUOTE(AgogoLatoto @ Feb 21 2019, 11:59 AM)
second date
i wanna see if she is gold digger or not
first date already bring to fancy restaurant
planning for something casual, nothing rigorous
location kl
*
Bro, she is freaking 17 years old. I do not think a person of that age has a very good grasp on the concept nor value of "gold".

At best, she wants a good time. I do not think that she is capable of much demands at this point in time, and I mean that in both interpretations.

This post has been edited by ViktorJ: Feb 21 2019, 12:03 PM
TSfearless_kiki
post Feb 21 2019, 12:22 PM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Feb 21 2019, 11:49 AM)
Budget? Location? First date ka?

Er ok, I just read your thread.

https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/4741441/

I must admit, I would not really know how to help you. Sorry.
*
KL Tower? He set the bar too high for himself and created a fake illusion of himself as a rich guy zzz... Even if the girl not a gold digger, she would be dissapointed of anything else lesser in the 2nd date.

And I agree with ViktorJ that most girls in that age won't think of gold digging.

What the girl likes?
fu'house
post Feb 21 2019, 12:28 PM

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It's not lame.

Tbh, it depends on your date's interest and intelligence or attitude/suitability with you.

Both of you average pipul, go ahead watch movie, drift about. Walk at pasar malam and keep makan.

She's a smart and atas atas pipul (like menteri daughter) : probably if she likes musicals or theather drama - spend money enjoy being an atas pipul or bring her to your life of lower class.

She's religious - probably you couldn't bring her to movies, ceramah agama or listen to agama things like temple seminar church talks etc.

She bodo and carefree: Ok warung, eat at jalan eat keropok already can win her heart. Beranak 10 seem possible...


Have fun figuring out your SO.
AgogoLatoto
post Feb 21 2019, 12:55 PM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Feb 21 2019, 12:03 PM)
Bro, she is freaking 17 years old. I do not think a person of that age has a very good grasp on the concept nor value of "gold".

At best, she wants a good time. I do not think that she is capable of much demands at this point in time, and I mean that in both interpretations.
*
haha... thanks for the advice..

QUOTE(fearless_kiki @ Feb 21 2019, 12:22 PM)
KL Tower?  He set the bar too high for himself and created a fake illusion of himself as a rich guy zzz...  Even if the girl not a gold digger,  she would be dissapointed of anything else lesser in the 2nd date.

And I agree with ViktorJ that most girls in that age won't think of gold digging.

What the girl likes?
*
i only know she likes to sightsee roadtrips like that...
maybe into hipster cafes too
RubMyGenie_
post Feb 21 2019, 02:00 PM

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QUOTE(AgogoLatoto @ Feb 21 2019, 11:59 AM)
second date
i wanna see if she is gold digger or not
first date already bring to fancy restaurant
planning for something casual, nothing rigorous
location kl
*
17 years old doesn't have much experience to become a gold digger "yet".

While I don't really support your relationship, I mean you're in your 30s, dating someone who just finished SPM is really................ I don't think she even knows what she wants in her life yet... Don't cheat a young girl's heart lah, what if that happens to your daughter in the future next time?

But then, since you've asked for recommendations... I think bringing her anywhere that is not fancy can already... Since you said you wanna test if she's a gold digger or not, you can just try bringing her to mamak or pasar malam...

I really hope she doesn't Rub Your Genie...
ViktorJ
post Feb 21 2019, 02:36 PM

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QUOTE(RubMyGenie_ @ Feb 21 2019, 02:00 PM)
17 years old doesn't have much experience to become a gold digger "yet".

While I don't really support your relationship, I mean you're in your 30s, dating someone who just finished SPM is really................ I don't think she even knows what she wants in her life yet... Don't cheat a young girl's heart lah, what if that happens to your daughter in the future next time?

But then, since you've asked for recommendations... I think bringing her anywhere that is not fancy can already... Since you said you wanna test if she's a gold digger or not, you can just try bringing her to mamak or pasar malam...

I really hope she doesn't Rub Your Genie...
*
Its too bad that everything is done online nowadays.

Back in the old days, bringing her to school and looking like her papa to go collect her SPM results would have counted as a date as well. No need think hard about date ideas for March.

Genie, I do not think he actually intends to cheat her heart. But I am getting this kind of vibe:
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

TSfearless_kiki
post Feb 21 2019, 03:07 PM

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QUOTE(fu'house @ Feb 21 2019, 12:28 PM)
It's not lame.

Tbh, it depends on your date's interest and intelligence or attitude/suitability with you.

Both of you average pipul, go ahead watch movie, drift about. Walk at pasar malam and keep makan.

She's a smart and atas atas pipul (like menteri daughter) : probably if she likes musicals or theather drama - spend money enjoy being an atas pipul or bring her to your life of lower class.

She's religious - probably you couldn't bring her to movies, ceramah agama or listen to agama things like temple seminar church talks etc.

She bodo and carefree: Ok warung, eat at jalan eat keropok already can win her heart. Beranak 10 seem possible...
Have fun figuring out your SO.
*
Why can't religious people go to movies?
fu'house
post Feb 21 2019, 04:52 PM

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QUOTE(fearless_kiki @ Feb 21 2019, 03:07 PM)
Why can't religious people go to movies?
*
Later PAS pipul beat buttocks if naughty naughty in cinema. Your date report sama you.

This post has been edited by fu'house: Feb 21 2019, 04:53 PM

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