If a guy remembers your eye color after a date, it probably means you have small tits.

For the first time, Viagra ads are now targeting women.

But the women aren’t too happy with Viagra’s new slogan,

"Maybe It’s You."

Trump wants to print a $250 note with his image on it.

It is against American law to have the image of a living president on any currency.

All the world agrees he would make a fantastic dead president.

Snow White lived with seven midgets.

Rumplestiltskin abducted kids.

A witch wanted to eat Hansel and Gretel, the pyscho brats burned her alive.

A woodcutter chopped a wolf up so he could fuck Little Red Riding Hood.

Another cunt thought he was Bill Cosby and took advantage of a sleeping girl.

If you recognize these stories from your childhood, it's no wonder you post shit on here.

The good news about erectile dysfunction is that it can be cured by diet and exercise.

The bad news is trying to get your wife to diet and exercise.

A new remake of the Wizard of OZ has been made.

In the new version Dorothy only meets one companion on the yellow brick road.
It's Donald Trump who's going to see the wizard to get a heart a brain and the fucking courage to stand up to Russia.

Most females don't answer video calls after 9pm because their face has been restored to factory settings.

Marriage increases a man's chances of becoming obese threefold, a new study finds.

That's because having sex burns a lot of calories.

Eggs are now so expensive,

I can't afford to throw them at Teslas.

I passed my driving test with flying colours

Serves Wong, Obunya, Johnson, Vijay & Abdul right for crossing the road without looking

Passive aggressive lives ON

I want my jokes to get as many views as possible

so I'll be posting the onto a private Signal chat from now on.

Scientists have discovered the reason why women talk more than men.

It's because they think we're listening...

What are the three main signs of an impending stroke?

Kleenex, hand-cream and pornography

Street encounters no 126:

"Good morning sir, would you mind if I asked which card you are using?"

"No, not at all so long as you don't mind me asking how big your wife's tits are. "

My journey carried on uninterrupted.

Do you know the difference between an aid worker and a terrorist?

No? Neither do Israel

COLOMBIA: Put a 75% tariff on cocaine.

That'll make Trump think twice.

Female frogs sometimes play dead to avoid mating.

Sounds familiar....

I was chatting to our local barmaid with the huge tits. I said "I'd love to take you out sometime"
She said "aww, that's nice"
I said "I was talking to your tits"

If going into space for 3 minutes makes you an astronaut, then I'm a gynecologist