Man this is good....

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Added on May 3, 2008, 7:57 amThis is a good one, i nearly choke when eating my sandwich...

This post has been edited by peinsama: May 3 2008, 07:57 AM

She got fired.... lol

Chinese Daughters


A Chinese man had three daughters, he asked his eldest daughter
what kind of man she would like to marry.

"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest,"
said the eldest daughter.

He then asked his second daughter who she would like to marry.

"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest,"
said the second daughter.

He finally asked his youngest daughter who she would like to
marry.

The youngest daughter replies, "I would like to marry a man
with one draggin' on the ground."

err...dun get it
dragon...tatoo rite?
1 draggin' on the ground...?

the dong lah

Panjangnye...

the 3rd dragon is smth hanging between guy's thigh

ic...10x
omg, youngest but the most horniest

Playing mommy and daddy


A little boy comes home from school and asks his mother for some ice cream.

The mother is having a bad day and snaps, "NO!". The little boy turns and runs into his room.

After a minute, the mother feels bad she snapped and knocks on his door.

"Johnny, I'm sorry I snapped at you. Do you want to play a game or something?"

"Sure," Johnny replies. "How about we play Mommy and Daddy?"



"OK," says the mother. "How do we play?"

"You go upstairs and lay down on your bed."

The mother figures this is harmless, so she agrees and goes upstairs.

Meanwhile, Johnny rummages throught the closet and finds his dad's hat and coat. He digs in the ashtray to find a long cigarette butt.

After dressing and putting the cigarette in his mouth, he swaggers up the stairs.

There, on the bed, is his mother. Johnny marches in, walks up to the bed, and says, "Get your butt out of bed and get that kid some ice cream!"

mommy pwned

For this round, yes. Johnny will get his rear-end handed to him on a silver platter next I feel.

Speaking of Johnny...

Johnny got sent home with a letter from his math teacher demanding to meet his parents. Johnny's dad went to school with him the next day...

Daddy (D): My kid never had any problems with math. What seems to be the problem?
Teacher (T): Let me tell you about what happened yesterday. We were having a math quiz where each child was supposed to answer five questions verbally without the use of paper and pencil.
D: Okay that's a piece of cake for my Johnny.
T: I asked him what's 2 x 5, and he replied...
D: 10 I'm sure.
T: Then I asked him 7 x 5 to which he replied 35. Next I asked him 7 x 4...
D (Getting impatient): That's 28. Where are we going with this?
T: Next was 7 x 6.
D (Fuming): 42.
T: Then 6 x 7.
D: What's the MUTHAF#$%ING difference?!?!
T: That's exactly what he replied too.

This post has been edited by allinuff: May 5 2008, 02:39 PM

College Letters


A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "M" on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?"

Hahahahaha, 69

holy mama

There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a pen1s sitting around talking about how their lives sucked.

The cucumber said, "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."

The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar."

The pen1s looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!."

LOL.. Where ever did u get ur unlimited supply of jokes?

joke? its real life

now i know what you are in real life




jk

THE FUSE



A body builder walks into a bar, and after a while and a few drinks, picks up a girl, and decided to head back to his place. By the time they got home he saw that the girl was so excited that he rips off his shirt, points to the bulging biceps and says, "See these baby - 1000lbs. of dynamite!"

The girl becomes even more excited. Seeing this, he then tears off his jeans, points to his muscular thighs and says, "See these baby - 1000lbs. of dynamite!"

The girl can hardly contain herself at this point. So finally, he drops his "fruit of the looms". The girl jumps up and runs for the door, the guy catches up with her and says, "Baby, where are you going?"

She replies, "With 2000lbs. of dynamite and such a short fuse I was afraid you were going to explode!"

NEW LIFE



A nun and a priest are wandering, lost, in the desert, when all of a sudden their camel up and dies. Seeing nothing but sand around them for miles, they prepare themselves to meet their Maker.

The Priest, knowing that he's mere hours away from death, says, "You know, I've never seen a woman's breasts before. Since it probably won't matter any more, would you show me yours?"

The nun agrees and shows him.

He asks, "May I touch them?"

She agrees, and he tells her with complete sincerity that they're very nice.

Next, the nun says that she's never seen a man's penis before, and would he mind showing her his. He agrees and whips it out.

"That's very nice!" she says. "May I touch it?"

He agrees and she fondles him, resulting, of course, in a large chubby.

The priest, now overcome with years of pent-up lust, says, "You know, if I put my penis in the right place, it can give life!"

She asks, "Is that so?"

"Yes!"

"Then why don't you stick it up that camel's ass and let's get the hell out of here!"