Hi All,

I am unsure whether to post this in Girl's Club or Cupid Corner or Serious Kopitiam, but decided to post it here to get more female's serious opinion.
I have sexual urge, i dunno whether it is in normal or high sex drive.

The thing that is bothering me is, i do not know how to release it in a healthy way. I meant since i am small, my religion, background, and surrounding ppl certainly despised ppl who engaged in ONS, or to cincai sleep with any guy. N i do not have a bf. I do not want to find a bf just for sex.

I actually quite in awe of some of my frens who can know some guys, after some time, sleep together. N then move on, and know another guy again, and sleep again, and move on after that. For me, our culture dun encourage such open relationship.

My question is, I need help and advise, on how to control these sexual urge?
I know some will suggest masturbation, i tried b4, but I dun reli enjoy it. I want a guy, but deep down, i know i don't want to with just any guy, because after doing it, i'll cry and look down on myself.

So, i want to read other's female's opinion on how to control own's sexual urge when one is single.
Serious opinion/advise, no troll please.

this is the part when a fuck buddy comes into play

Fuck buddy is not what i am looking for.
Any opinion or advise from ladies/females?

fubu isn't any body. sort of likea close friend whom u have ssex with. u derive the same pleasure except without the commitments

Have you ever been with a man before? Because if you haven't, then saying that not enjoying masturbation is weird to me.

I don't know what else to tell you. If you can't/won't do casual sex, then you're just going to have to handle it yourself.

surely its masturbation..

hmmm well i do have that urge every month, im single too and im...erm well msg me if u wanna have a talk with me...i just give u my experience then? i just dont like to say it here lol

try some lube before masturbation. it will help. sometimes too dry will cause discomfort

This post has been edited by jyll92: Jan 26 2016, 11:07 AM

Are you masturbating the correct way?

I would say go out and get an understanding fubu, but since you mentioned that is out of the options, then the only way is to settle it yourself. Either that or do other things to keep your mind of your urges, but it'll only probably come back stronger after that.

*but it'll only probably come back stronger after that* i do agree with this lol, but it depends on each person though, for me that *urge* will be gone for days ......sighhh

anyway try google about masturbation method if ur still not comfortable with it~

got urge..handle it. If self gratification cannot satisfy then you will need to find fubu. Best if you can find a boyfriend. But until you find one, fubu would be one of the option.

If religion is not allowing you to do what you "need", then you need to decide for yourself.

I sense trollers from /k inkambing...

Close fren? Sometimes i wonder how ppl can get fubu. As in 'hey, wanna have sex?', then do it again and again.


I m not comfortable with the idea of casual sex. I want to know whether is it normal for gals to have casual sex/fubu nowadays?
Isn't it a risk to the body (pregnancy/STD) and etc etc.



Not the dry problem. But i may give this a try.


Masturbating the correct way? Err, got correct or wrong way?
An understanding FUBU? I dunno any, and surely dunno an understanding 1.

I do agree the more i control my urge, it seems to get stronger.

For now, just gotta handle it myself.

I am just reli curious. Is casual sex/fubu really a norm?
For guys, maybe some dun care.
But as gals, there is this discrimination that we should be proper and all that.

erm... it will happen naturally but whence that come, u'll have to set clear boundaries to not make it into a relationship

do meditation

ur urge will disappear

I have stopped masturbating for few months and gonna continue

It's okay to not be comfortable with the idea, it's not really for everyone, but yes it's normal. There is more stigma attached to women being casual about sex, but that is a double standard and I think we need to stop perpetuating it. Women have needs the same way men do.

Of course, but you take precautions. If the man you're with doesn't want to take the same precautions, then don't be with him.

i think ur issue is not high sex drive but u look at sex as a stigma instead of something natural.
u sound conflicted between ur heart (want bf) mind (religion,guilt,culture) and body naturally wants
u mentioned "our culture" but i think you can take this journey to understand urself instead of culture and what others think about you or about sex.

when its not big deal, then your ready for it

Yeah , kinda scary if the fubu develops into a relationship. So unhealthy. From love then sex, but this one opposite. Sex 1st, then love

Medidation? Love to try that. Just sit and think of nothing. I dun think have that patience.

Yeah, society's way of thinking is guy is ok to have casual sex. But if gal did it, then will be 'cheap' and called all sorts of names.


Uncleraymond, u r so spot on. I think i am not high sex drive. Just feel very conflicted between religion/society/a gal's image.
That's why when one think of it as no big deal, they will naturally indulge and enjoy themself.

But for me, i dun think i can enjoy it without thinking about whether it is right or wrong.

It is unhealthy, not going to lie but it solves ur problem. didn't say the solution is perfect haha

just masturbate to let the steam out.....then keep yourself busy with stuff.......anything to avoid over-masturbating.