HUSBANDS NEVER LEARN

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his neck.

Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

Well, the man says, "It's like this; I was playing a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white on its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it, stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my big mistake."

"What did you do?" the doctor asks.

Well. The man replies, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours! I don't remember much after that."

hahahah!!! his wide pwned him!!! wuahahahah!! if i ever tell anyone their ass looked like that, i wouldn't be surprised if i ended up like him...


buahahahahahah!!!!

HAhaha.. yeah lor. the wife thinks he's teasing that her ass looks like that where in fact he's actually telling her that the golf ball is stuck in the cow's ass

Here are some shivers and pleasure, would advise some old coots don't do it.

A Sweet Young Thing got married to a rich old man and during the wedding night, the old man kicked the bucket while making love due to extreme pleasure and shivers. The SYT called the mother who rushed over, hugging her mother, she sobbed and sobbed and said to her mother. "Why must God called him at that moment?" The mother tried to console her and said. "Don't be sad, think of the fortune you are going to get, by the way what were his last words that he said to you?" Thinking for a while and in between sobs, the SYT said."He said OH MY GOD I AM COMING".

did the SYT kill him? or did the old fart died of heart attack? didn't really get it man..

He died of heart attack la..

A Guy was beaten publicly in a bus. why?? read on



I was in crowded bus

and my foto fell from wallet

So I asked lady in front...

Madam,please lift sari

I want to take foto

HOW TO DEAL WITH SNORING BED PARTNERS

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.

"I've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

"How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.

"Never felt better." The manager was impressed.

"No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Marine.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

hahaha.. i ROFLMAO also hahaha

lol!! the marines are known to have gay rape stories.. so that's y the navy guy was up all night!! haha!!

Plan For Future:

Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?.

Ahmed : I want 2 b a pilot.
James : I want 2 b a doctor.
Deeparani : I want 2 b a good mother.
Asif : I want 2 help Deeparani .

Fred, the patient requested, "Don't Laugh Doc"

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In
over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," Fred said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing
the tiniest appendage the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been the
size of a peanut. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling,
then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle
to his feet and regain his composure.

"I'm so sorry "said the doctor. "I really am..... I don't know what came
over me. On my honour as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't
happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Fred replied.

damn cruel la wei..

but...














wuahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

HAhaha.. i also buey tahan and laugh man.. raelly nearly fall off from my chair.. hehehehe

Two brothers are out for the day in their tin boat. The first one hooks into a big one, fights it for a half hour or so and when the fish finally tires he brings it to the boat. it is the drop-dead oddest fish they have ever seen. before they can drop it into the cooler the fish says, "I'm an enchanted fish and if you'll let me go I'll grant your any wish."

Well the boys are a bit skeptical but they decide he's too ugly to eat so they drop the fish over the gunnel. looking up from the lake, the fish says "ok, what will it be???"

Before having time to think the first brother says, "all right, turn the lake into budweiser!"

Before you know it POOF! The lake turns into a foaming vat of beer.

"Now why did you go and do a damn fool thing like that" the other brother says, "Now we'll have to pee in the boat!!!!"

hmm.. this one not funny to me.. unless there's something i didn't get?

okie okei.. i try to change see if got anything better hehehe

budweiser is a beer... meaning even a lake of beer also cannot waste lo... beer ghost

This is hilarious!


1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you pile
on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.