lol.. silly girl.. u so innocent meh?

HAhaa.. don't blame her la. she's too innocent la.

Hey Rou Rou.. why do ppl call it Yellow joke?? why not blue joke?? why not other colours?? i'm still figuring that out..

meanwhile.. here is some info for you guys.. i was shock to see it somehow its true.. hehehe

Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die. Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death.

In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling).

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.

Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.

It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.

The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.

Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."

Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Iwazaru(Speak no evil).

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.

The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!! (That's why I love KILL BILL)

The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal. It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.

This post has been edited by |ce_cube: Nov 9 2006, 02:28 PM

No lar 2 only, the other one is the laser targetting umm hole...

This post has been edited by darun: Nov 9 2006, 02:01 PM

I think it's Mizaru, Kikazaru and Iwazaru

Thanks carrot milk.. will update it..

er.. not innocent lar... jsut didn't sort of associate barrel with erm... that...

"Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day."

Icecube thanks for making us laugh more ^^;

No problem.. actually some jokes require you to think a lil crooked to figure out the jokes.. hehe..

Thanks for the compliment rou rou

The most DANGEROUS Snake to Female !!!

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)

LOCATION: Throughout the world

DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & subspecies.

SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen,
resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by
excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal.
Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!

HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.

ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.

WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED:

TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.

CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.

SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.

SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM:

1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.

2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.

3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.

4. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.

CONCLUSION:

This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.

Moral: Now, you know why....

Update on the Symptoms:

SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen,
resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by
excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal.
Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, but for men the venom will not cause swelling in the abdomen and excruciating pain after nine months, however swelling in the rear lower abdomen do occur and last for some period of time!

There's also an android version for sale that does or does not spit, but the venom if it does spit is harmless. Batteries not included.



This post has been edited by darun: Nov 9 2006, 03:11 PM

Hahah.. thanks darun.. i malas wanna add that in.. thanks for updating it then. heheh

wuahahaha!!!

Please ignore this if its a repost.


A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day.

As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision.

After careful consideration he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves.

Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves. His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time.

The clerk carefully wrapped both items but in the process got them mixed up.

The sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the panties.

The fishos mailed his Valentine's Day gift with the following note:

"This special Valentines Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings.

If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove.

"These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely.

I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I'll be kissing them in the future. I hope you'll wear them Friday night for me.

Love,
Honey Bear

p.s. The sales lady says the latest style is to wear them folded down with just a little fur showing.

f*ck.. i chocked on my water again.. haha!!!

A deaf-mute strolls into a pharmacy to buy a pack of condoms. Unfortunately, he can't find the rubbers. Because he doesn't speak, he tries explaining to the pharmacist with his hands, but the pharmacist fails to understand.

Frustrated, the deaf-mute guy unzips his pants, pulls his penis out, and (thud!) drops it onto the counter. Then he lays a five-dollar bill down next to it.

"Ah," says the pharmacist. Smiling, he also unzips his pants and flops his penis on the counter. Then he pockets the deaf man's cash. The man begins to curse in sign language. "Sorry," says the pharmacist. "If you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't gamble."

FUNNY PUNS

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fIsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

hehe.. but i like the version where 3-tourist gamble with the pharmacist better

A woman goes into a bar real depressed and uses her last 10 dollars to buy a drink. All of a sudden she gets an idea that she knows will solve her problems.

She takes her change and goes to the man at the end of the bar and says, " Mister, I'm broke and my landlord said if I dont give him the rent money first thing in the morning, I'm out of a place to live. I'll bet you my last five dollars that i can come up with a rhyme that you can't come up with a reply to."

The man wanting to help her says ok go ahead.

So she tells him, "six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine. I can tell the length of yours but you can't tell the depth of mine."

The man scratches his head and says, "your right, I can't top that." and he pays her the five dollars.

Then she goes to the next man and the next until she has beat every man in the bar. So she goes to the next bar and starts betting 100 at a time. She does this at every bar on the block until she has 3,000 dollars. Deciding thats enough she heads for home.

On her way she meets a bum in an alley and decides to have a little fun. So she tells the bum that she will bet her 3,000 dollars against his bottle of booze that she can tell him a ryhme to wich he cant come up with a reply. The bum figures what the heck and says "your on"

Six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine, I can tell the length of yours but you can't tell the depth of mine.

The bum sits back, thinks for a minute and says "six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine, I can piss in yours but you can't piss in mine!!"

What is it about? similar joke?

not so sure how to tell it... sort of like that:

its about 3 tourist... a japanese, gwai-lou, and Brazilian... they want go buy condom at a shop. since the shop owner is a Singh, and cant speak a word of the others saying.

so the Japanese walk into the shop, shows his p*nis and put $5 on the table.
The Singh dont understand and shake his head
after that the Brazilian walk into the shop, shows his bigger p*nis and put $8 on the table.
still, the Singh dont understand.
then the gwai-lou walk in also, does the same thing with his even bigger p*nis and put $10 on the table.

Finally, the Singh smilingly nod his head, shows his member too, and take all the money from the table

Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic is when both are pregnant.