Hmm, maybe she is not comfortable to share all of it to you? I think this is normal, even i do share my problem with people, i will not share 100% of it out haha. Sometime, certain stuffs are too embarrassed to tell out to other people

Now that more things has happened, I think when she blow at me last week, THE ONLY reason she did that was because what I did to her. I can conclude that all that stress about work and dreams are pure BS

So guys! its been so long.. thats only because nothing much has happened. Except for yesterday. I had a major MAJOR merajuk moment. Heres what happened.

Just to let u guys know, the job im in this time has a 99% chinese population, only me and another Indian senior are not. Shes told me sumtime ago that she felt belonged in this team, because they speak mandarin,

and probably becoz they're chinese too, it makes her feel at home. Thats fine with me, but.. yesterday, I felt like there was some excessive 'friendliness' between her and this chinese guy, WHO HAS A GF.

Early morning, when she arrived, I wanted to start chatting with her, but seeing her like, dont look like want to layan me much, I also din talk so much. Because every time i try to open a topic, she be like 1 answers each and I

felt like Im not needed.

Once all her gang has entered the room, she was so playful with them. I seriously DONT mind u want to be playful, chit chat etc.. until this one guy who was sitting right in front of us. joking2 lah, talking2 lah, it felt to me as if

they were flirting with each other So I began to compare.

there were 2 laptops that we used for work. One was right near her, another at a corner. At first, I wanted to use the one at the corner, but it was kinda occupied. So I went to her place (she was using) and asked la,

Me: Can I use for a while?
She: CANNOT. USE THAT ONE.

Me already being in that state of emo-ness, din say anything. I felt like kena halau. But when the guy want to use, WAAAHH, no need to say anything. Just give only. sum more while he use can still be so chatty, FCUK!

I compared. compared and compared. And by noon I fully entered the emo state. I was quiet, din say 2 shits at all, nothing to anybody. Because she was sitting right beside me and being so playful with the guy,

I just cudnt stand it. I genuinely hated it and I think I entered a pre-depression mode seeing them so happy. I plugged in my earphones and blasted the music because i friggin hate it when they laugh here laugh there.

Then one by one of my colleagues came to me askign whats wrong. why so quiet. why dont want to talk to us?

I just told them I needed to focus. Of course they din accept that. hahahaha. even my manager cud see sth wrong with me, and didnt dare to say anything. Because when I finally spoke with my boss, she was surprised like,

OH YES YEA YEA YESS. hahahaha,. sorry boss. I was doing work okay. Not like its affected me that much. Coz i kept sending her stuff for review.

It came to the point where i just needed to get out and take a walk. When suddenly she was otw to toilet, she looked at me I looked at her. She said sth and i was like HUH? and just walked away. I think at this point shes

sensed it.

So yesterday was Friday prayers, went out, came back. And as soon as I came back, she straight away talked to me, she knew that I am going for a japanese buffet last night, and wanted to suggest places. So she messaged

me about the place. I just replied like "oh? okay thanks" . Seriously guys, because i am already in that state, I really didnt want to talk to her. I was so disappointed, so down, so jealous! and I've never felt that way before.

Its the worst jealousy I've felt in my life.

So when it was time for me to leave, I just bye bye to everybody except her. I totally ignored her. Can see her face was a bit, worried, anyway I just left. coz she doesnt need me i guess, got new friends right.


So at night.. she texted me.

She: I'm sorry if i did anything to upset you. I didnt intentionally do it. Anyway hope u have good hols. Selamat Hari raya
Me: I felt like u were cold to me today.Ask wan to use laptop u tolak me go the other one. I saw <colleague name> using it thats why I came to u. But if <flirty guys name> come use u never say anything
Me: I felt like u can be cold to me but can be so damn friendly to him. Felt like I had to put a bit of effort to just chat with u today but u macam malas nak layan saja.
She:What? I got layan u! Ok i honestly didnt see <colleagues name> using it. And I also did make effort to talk with u but u gave me cold treatment. I'm really sorry for that.

Then she wrote sth very misleading like this,

"U feel that way about me? I feel exactly the same also. Thats why I flipped last time*refer to story where she suddenly shot me*"

*just a stupid grammar point, but because when she said "I feel exactly the same also", because its in present tense, probably she wasnt referring to that past event? HAHAHAHAHAA BODOH.
Because when i read that right. PEHH. felt a fake happiness.

Okay, that aside, continue

She: I did talk to u eventually but u gave me cold treatment. I made an effort too ok. I spoke to u about japanese buffet. Could sense u weren't in the mood, so I din push further.
She: I'm really sorry for the laptop thing. I honestly didnt see anyone using it. Probably u din notice but i said the same to <another colleague> to use the other one too.
Me: Regardless, no need to push me right. TERASA to the max.
She: Ok I din do it intentionally. I didnt physically push u right? *i dunno why she say this, coz there never was a physical contact*
Me: Duh
She: haih. I might have used my words harshly. So I'm sorry. Next time I will talk to u nicely.
Me: No need. Talk to me as usual. U can talk to <flirty guy> after this.
She: ? I talk to him the same way I talk to everyone la *yea right*
She: I talked to u as usual today and it seems i hurt ur feelings. So i must be doing sth wrong. N that needs to change.
She: dont worry, I will be more mindful. Im sincerely sorry for how i made u feel
Me: no worries. Forget it. Thanks for the hari raya wish.
She: No la. Ure obviously upset about it. So i cant forget about it. in case u think im not sincere, I am. Thats all i want to say.
Me: what else to do about it? u already said sorry.
She: have a good weekend.
Me: u too.

After like a few seconds, I continued with this.

Me: actually u din need to say sorry. Im juz emo n overly-sensitive. Thanks for ur concern.
She: its cool, i have been where u were *probably implying the last time when she blow at me*
She: I know I'm like that. So i might have hurt feelings once in a while.
Me: got it.
She: Goodnight. Travel safe.
Me: u too. thanks. it has been such a midnight drama.
She: yea all thanks to me. Sorry about that. Its just that I felt so comfortable with the team, havent felt that in a long time. So i guess i got a bit excited. Regardless, no excuse.
Me: I can see that, its totally fine.
She: ignore me, I'm over thinking stuff now
Me: sorry la I cepat terasa. Shud've thought about how much u liked the new environment.
She: please no. Dont apologise. Because its no excuse how I treated u. Just want to thank you for understanding. I will control myself after this.
Me: its okay lah its okay lah. Goodnight. See u nxt week.
She: u too. night.

So guys, to sum up. Basically all this drama happened because I cudnt control it any more. need to thank a fellow forumer here whos suggested i be more open to talk about things I've held inside. It seems to me like, it was

fruitful. I was so scared to reply her text that night because.. along what i wanted to say cud show obviously, how much i was jealous. But in the end I just didnt care and said it. I also felt like she kept on reminding me

that was how I treated her last time too. So i felt bad as well. But i think if i merajuk, its like 10 times worst than her. feel like sissy weih hahahaahahaha.

Thanks for reading.





















This post has been edited by noonies_naruto: Jul 26 2014, 07:19 AM

I read your first and last post only. So, she likes you or not?

Hmm, I am actually not sure what you have done is right or not. Haha, I somehow believe that by telling the truth to the girl is like a mistake you know, because got girls, i myself also tak brp understand them. They seem to be do not like to be blame or something. But then of course different girls behave different ways. Right now your case really pretty complicated. I also But then at least she sensed something wrong with you and initiated the conversation. That is the good sign but then don't expect more.

In your opinion, what you think?

This post has been edited by MasBoleh!: Jul 26 2014, 02:16 PM

Hahaha I kinda think you missed your 'chance' there to ask her seriously about the status of you guys or at least getting some clarity. It was in my opinion a missed opportunity there although as you have mentioned previously you need more time due to the circumstances between you both plus it's a bit difficult cos you Guys are colleagues.
My gut is saying she does maybe has some feelings or perhaps affection for you but to how serious it is that's pretty debatable. You can like someone easily but to love that's more than just the feeling but also the commitment that comes with it. Maybe she isn't ready for that.

wah brader.. u have to read all. then onli can appreciate

inb4 i dont really care
inb4 aint got time for that
inb4 cupid corner not blog


haha.. yea.. actually that was my fear in the beginning.. tapi kan bro. i certainly had to say it. it was soo painful to just keep it all to myself. once i got it out from my system, sum more i told HER about it, really felt like an accomplishment. ur right bro, diff girl diff reaction. diff style. but so far with this, i kinda like it.

i kinda knew already she was eventually going to text me about it. almost disappointed not hearing anything until late last night. i wrote my first reply, which took 10 mins for me to decide to send or not because of some fears i was thinking about.

actually last night i went out with homies and talked about it. they've been really supportive. n told me to confess at the right time. not wait too long.

heyyy. sorry i forgot ur user id. YEAP. i thought so too. not to say setting was perfect, but it seemed like the right time. unfortunately i chose not to. because its not my style. i dont feel manly to tell her how i feel about her thru text. i know im too much. but i believe there will be better chances in the future.

my frens have been telling me to drop the last minute confession thing. coz it wud be too late. i tink my feelings are already known since long ago. il wait for another right timing soon. and il just say it. i shudnt set a timing for this. but rather that 'setting' will come. and when im ready then im ready lah.

Yup i agree with your friends on it...wait for the right setting and go for it..good luck and wish you all the best!
The one that fights for love never loses even if the outcome isnt as expected cos you gotten the one thing that is hard to come by these days, courage!
Anyways Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to you! Hope you have a good one..

hey.. thank u so much. that was so sweet of u. im just so so touched

thank u thank u.

il surely update u all on anything else soon.

Wah at least you got supportive friends. Glad to hear about that

I agree with your friends and Len32 actually !

Selamat Hari Raya bro !

haha thanks broo..

Semalat hari raya to u too

Okay, mini update.

Last night, felt like wanted to break the ice a bit after the super drama I directed

So I texted her, talking about some random stuff, until at one point we were talking about children because of a video our boss posted.

She: Gosh I want kids! I want a puppy too. And play with kids
Me: u want twins right?
She: heck i dont have a husband. I dont even have a bf.
Me: Time will come la.
She: yea i should stop being so stubborn and jump on board the first guy that comes by. Thats what I've been saying for a year, but never do it.

Boy, was i alarmed by this statement So in panic mode, I replied like this,

Me: eh wait first la. Don't simply jump on board.
She: Yea la. I wont. hahahahahaha.

Phewwww.. I dont know if that was some kinda signal or sth. But nothings too good to be true huh. Even until now I feel the chills. I really really hope she knows what i meant by saying "wait first".

Me: So what do u look for in a guy?
She: I don't know. When its time, I'll know.

Damn. Not good for my heart la. Asyik kena 'attack'.

lol, shall reply, i can be your bf and also your husband.

Sometime i am wondering, perhaps most Malaysian guys have been way too soft and shy. As far as i can see, a lot of those scammers particularly from Nigeria able to successfully con and cheat our local girls due to they have been pretty aggressive. They will just straight walk up and say, "Hey, you are pretty and I like you. Can i have your phone number?"

I saw a few of such incidents in my university though. Which leads me to believe, perhaps guys like us shall take more initiative instead. What do you think?

eh belum balik kampung kah?

i tink the nigerian one is simply becoz some of our local girls are just too dumb la bro

Actually I kan. Just cant take NO for an answer. Thats why I'm so friggin slow.

I don't want if i say things like that, on top of that quite flirty, later she can reject me there and then.

And i noted that if i was slightly flirty etc, she just brushes it off. Especially on whatsapp.

So, the plan is. To say it loud n clear, face to face, when the timing comes. So if kena reject also, its a clear cut rejection.

Then onli i become like this



If not kan, if i initiate small2 stuff like that, she would either brush it off or kinda hint.

Worst if she rejects me there n then. Because that wasn't even my final form of confession.

Xpe la bro. I play it steady first. Nowadays feel like saying it this week because we all having karaoke this friday.

Probably.. I can find a nice timing. Now I'm really locked on the idea of the 'correct timing' thing.

will keep u all posted Thanks for all the support!

TO ALL MY RAYA CELEBRATING FRIENDS, WHO COMES TO THIS THREAD OFTEN,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO U.

TAKE CARE ON THE ROAD!

Well, haha ok.

Wow, seem like you are prepared to face the worst case scenario. Bravo on that man.

As far as i know for now, she seem like got mixed feeling but i am not sure am i right or not for now.

But then i think Love is like a gamble, either you strike the prize or you didn't.

yeap. its time. cant wait anymore.

dun care lah what feelings she have. if with me kuat merajuk. if with me kuat mood swing. if with me, suddenly wan to pms etc.

if she can freely drama here n there then i guess i can say anything to her without any awkwardness.

csn la. we see howw.

yea man haha.. mah frens all say its 50 50. yes or no.

dun later she give me the LEMME THINK FIRST thing then everyday come work sure i nervous to the max.

Well, right now i dare not say anything. Let's just go do what you plan to do 1st. remember always prepare for the worst But then at the same time be optimistic about it

Plan a good plan then find the best time to execute the plan. Make sure you propose her with something ok?

yeap! thanks a lot bro. Just got back from kampung hahah.

Sooo.. this 9th August Lee Hom's coming to town.

And I apparently do not have any other friends who listen to Lee Hom. So I'm trying my luck by inviting her.

We see how it goes. Still waiting for her to reply.

Now everytime i hear a notification from my phone, i get so nervous

EDIT: Also since last night, I was feeling quite restless about this whole thing. Was going thru our whatsapp conversation and kept on focusing on this line she wrote:

"you feel that way about me? I also feel exactly the same. Thats also why I flip last time."

I looked at it for like.. half an hour, thinking what it meant. I didn't want to think that it was her referring to the time when she was angry at me for not treating her well at work. Regardless what that meant,

it seems I just can't hold it in any longer. Time to be a bit more aggressive.

EDIT2: woops.. she say she dun wan to go coz shes not that big of a fan. hahah. better luck next time lah

This post has been edited by noonies_naruto: Jul 30 2014, 01:00 AM

You mean Wang LeeHom coming over to Malaysia for concert? Eh.. if she is a fan of LeeHom.. then you can bring her over and then propose? But again i am not sure this is good or not.

AS far as i know, ok, people told me about this, not i know about it 1 >.<

1. Girl dislike been pressure
2. May ended up embarrassment
3. May spoil the whole concert for her?

Sorry that i have to point out the bad sides because most of us normally only think about good sides but not the bad sides, so it did be great if someone willing to point out even though you already know, just in case you don't overlook it

Eh.. lol.. female's words got lots of complication 1. She can type this sentence but mean another. That is why always make us at there

Oh i see. Then you have to plan on something else again >.<

And so fast back from Kampung haha... really hardworking leh you, since you no take any leave

This post has been edited by MasBoleh!: Jul 30 2014, 09:06 AM

me too

itu amoi umur brapa u brapa? btw imposible la. change religion semua susah wei!! unless u got piap piap piap piap. and then ur baby born into this world. UWEEEKKKK UWEEEEKKKKK' the sound of ur baby coming to this world. and then ts and his crush live happily ever after. the end of ts story.

wanted to reply the same....