hmm... that's a tough question. i would say, all these lies in the girl and how she handles those feelings. well, you can do all the things in the world, but if the girls doesnt or isnt able to control her emotional feelings, i guess, is hard to maintain lorr... i dunno about others, i guess, thise has to come both ways. the guys and girls trying putting effort to eliminate those lonely feelings, and both also have to try to control ownselves' emotional despair?

what say the others?

well, let me try guessing first. is it Quebix?

by the way, sometimes, travelling too often is very tiring. eventhough when meet up, the emotional part is being fed, but the physical part is always very tired. really ought to balance up oh.

physical as in physical strength lah... adoi... think to the yellow part pulak... hahaha... well, what i mean is that travelling a long journey is really tiring one.

hahaha... bravo to miyoko for being able to pin point mrs. quiksilver. hehehe...

oh, how are you feeling there? wanna share with us?

jdreamer, failing one interview is nothing. think positively. make full use of the previous interview, eventhough wasnt so successful. try to think of what you can learn from the previous interview. then improve on it and do better in your next interview. good luck, yeah.

then make a bed of roses with only the flowers and take out all the stems. no thorns! hahaha...

hello everyone,
sorry for missing in action for so many days. i did not online during the holidays. was very busy.

anyway, jdreamer,
i read about your thread and also read about your posts here. here's what i wanna say. i'm not gonna tell you to continue on with the relationship with your girl or not. the decision is still in your hand. however, i will try to tell you from a girl's point of view, why your girl act the way she does. and i will also try to tell you things that you might overlook due to your emotions.

1) you must be thinking why she still comes back to you and tell you and do all those mushy things with you? ---> answer is simple. when she's back to hometown, she got nobody to care about her (the guy is not there) and she know she's got you. therefore, she goes back to you.

2) why she tells you that she still have feelings for you and also have feelings for that guy? ---> answer is again simple, if she didnt tell you that she still have feelings for you, would you still treating her as sweet as she wanted you to treat her when she's back in hometown?

3) why she tell you that that guy is a replacement but she tell her friend that you are replacement? ---> answer is simple. she dont love both of you. she loves herself the most. she take both of you as replacement.

4) why she tells you to go look around for other female friends? ---> well, this is to make herself dont look so bad. because she knows that you will not be going to look for other girls as your heart is still with her. so, she say it to make herself looks better and to make herself sound like she's being fair to you, but the fact is, she knows that you'll be there for her.

5) dont hate that guy, because that guy might be suffering from the same kind of feeling that you have now. because your girl is the PLAYER here.

6) you cant control any guy going after your girl. that's a norm. actually, when other guy is going after a girl who have a bf, the responsibility is actually on the girl's shoulder to shove them off, not the bf. it's when the girl have tried all she can but not working or ask for the bf's help, then the bf will need to act lah (this is my opinion and the way that i do lah)

7) there is definitely JUST friends between guy and girl. i have lots of them. my bf have lots of them too.

8) your girl might have mixed feeling and confusion. everyone will experience this feeling at least once in their life. again, this depend on how the girl handle the situation. speaking from my own experience, i've had this kind of feeling too. i mean, my bf is not around and no time for me, i feel all lonely and other guys (note the "S") is treating me superly good and taking opportunity. but deep down inside myself, i keep reminding myself that it's just not right. and it dont feel right because my love and feelings is with my bf, i just couldnt find anyone to replace him. no one could replace him. and it's foolish of me to find his replacement just because he's not there for me, because i know, eventually when he got time, he'll be there for me. also, i know that by doing so, i will hurt him. and hurting him = hurting myself too. well, that's just me. dont know about others.

9) your girl might have made a wrong choice this time, and human are deem to make mistake. it's up to you whether to give it another try or not. however, let me remind you, your girl have hid the mixed feeling that she has for sometime, instead of trying to solve the problem. she's behaving like a PLAYER here, or in a more rude term, she's being unloyal. however, loyal is very discreet.

10) this you already know ---> if your girl have do it once, she might do it again.

11) will you be able to trust her again? however hard you deny it, there is still a flaw and a scar in your relationship. however, if you look at it from another side, you might take this as a test for your relationship with your girl.

12) again, i would wanna say, everyone (including me) is selfish and your girl is definitely letting her selfishness over-ruled her conscience to think properly.

13) well, you will not gonna like to read this. if you dont wanna read, just skip it. and if you decided to read this, make sure you have an open heart.


14) anyway, i think i wrote too much (i guess, i'll get complaint that everytime i write, i wrote too long). i hope that you will spend time to read it, because i really spend time to analyse your situation and give out my opinions from my heart. all the best. however, i would like to apologize if i've said anything wrong that made you angry. if i ever do, tell me and i will edit my post.

This post has been edited by miyoko: Oct 26 2006, 10:31 AM

welcome to the thread, darklight79. i know that you dont simply post in cupids. but rest assured that this thread is very worth it. not that much of spam, i would say. here, we help each others and it's like a small community. welcome to the thread. feel free to dropby.

This post has been edited by miyoko: Oct 26 2006, 11:10 AM

did i make it too harsh? gosh i just feel the pain when i see my friend in such a great pain, caused by another girl (my same kind).

glad that you would share your life experience with us here. well, as for me, i always try to think in advance before i do certain things. learning from other people's mistake is always better than experiencing it myself. anyway, my principle is, dont treat other people bad, if i dont want other people to treat me bad. in other words, i believes in karma.

nolah, you dont sound sexist. as you said, i was just being honest. i hope i dont get all girls hate me. hahaha...

yes, and when that happens, just sit around and congratulate yourself that you are out of the loop already.

opps, that was to reply the post about the world is round.

This post has been edited by miyoko: Oct 26 2006, 11:36 AM

yeah, crying is ok because we are just human, after all. crying is a healing process and remedy too.

jdreamer, now slowly let go and slowly gain back your life. because, sulking it for too long will not do you any good. you did not post anything here. are you ok?

coming back to malaysia? just for 3,4 days? why not longer? isnt it a waste of air-tickets?

well, i'm not actually wanna comment on your post. however, i just would like to discuss about some of the issues mentioned in your post.

1) girl likes to test on guys ---> yes, some girls likes to do this. however, i strongly disagree with doing so. i mean, who are we to test on our guy. yes, it's suppose to be "US", not "you & me". we shouldnt test our partner in order to know whether they are the one for us or not. we should work together with our partner to go through obstacles that comes in the way, not test our partner by simply saying breakup or divorce. it's really stressful and emotionally tired when the word breakup/divorce is always brought into the situation, just to test or to seek attention. why is only girls testing guys? let's look at it the other way around, what if guys do that to test their girls? how would girls feel? i myself certainly wouldnt want my guy to test on me like that. it would be so emotinally stressful for me. that is why i dont test my guy in such a way. however, being a girl myself, i was guilty of doing that before. however, realizing that it's really a stupid and silly move, i quit it. it's just not healthy to a relationship by testing it that way.

2) joshua is trying to be reasonable by turning off hp ---> that's not reasonable. that's a bit immature. the way her gf handles it also a bit immature. i mean, if joshua really needs to be alone, why not just tell his girl? turning off handphone just created another one problem, whereby his girl handled it immaturely and using the breakupword to threaten him in order to ask him not to do that again. in this kind of situation, i would always put myself in my partner's shoe and think how i would feel if my partner treats me that way. it certainly dont feel good to call into a voicemail everytime when my partner is not in the mood. what if anything happen to me and i needed to call him urgently to ask for his help and couldnt get him? therefore, joshua's girl certainly have a reason to be mad. however, she used "threatening" as a mean to get joshua not to do that again. which isnt a very proper way, because other than serving as a warning, it also created stress. now, everytime joshua wanted to be alone, he might still think of turning off his hp but he would be afraid that his girl might breakup with him. then he will feel stressful because he cant even get his own time to be alone. so, problem arise. however, if his girl tell him how she feel when joshua turn off his hp, then maybe next time joshua will not do it, because he knows how she feel. anyway, joshua, since you say that things are back to as sweet as ever with your girl, then i'm also happy for you. i wish you good luck, yeah.

3) jdreamer, how are you doing there? try not to keep in touch with her liao, at the moment. i'm just saying at the moment, not forever. keeping in touch with her now will only bring you torture. please quit torturing yourself.

that's all from me, now. i hope it's not too long. sorry if it's too long, i apologize in advance.

u didnt comment on point 1? no comment ah?

well, everyone is special & every relationship is special. as everyone is different, therefore, when 2 people take the same path, it takes compromise in order to ensure that both could walk to the end of the path together.

As for your question about is "do you love me?" is a test? giving from my own opinion, my answer is no, it's not a test for me. i sometimes asked it just because i wanna hear it from him, eventhough i already know the answer. hahaha... however, i dont proceed to ask "why do you love me?" after he answered cos there is no reason to love someone.

haha... i know you always able to help thanks!

glad to hear that you are getting better. keep up the good work. you have us here

hello everyone, sorry for not reporting for a few days. hmm... so much of sad story recently...

ello, are you ok? are you kind of expecting the break up to come the wa? because you dont sound too sad. anyway, you can always relate to jdreamer's thread. there much of advices there. if really cannot, you can always post your problem here.

i wish you all the best, yeah.

well done, jdreamer!!

ello, think things thoroughly before you make decision. maybe take a few days break from all those stuffs to think over what you really want. however, in my opinion, it's not a good idea to get her parents to be involved in problems between the both of you. anyway, this is just my opinions and two-cents.

welcome back to malaysia!!

have a safe journey home

it's absolutely normal to lost appetite after a breakup. i lost my appetite for a few months. see food, no appetite, when i forced myself to eat, i feel vomitty. i'm glad to see that you seems to be doing fine and i'm glad that you know you must eat.

yes, you have absolutely the right to be angry with her. however, let me repeat myself, forgiveness is your road to your recovery. yes, she might sound selfish or she might sound like lying now. however, it's not important to you anymore. what's more important is getting yourself to the road of recovery.

i'm fine, thank you. work is fine too but superly busy. well, dont worry, i'll be able to handle it. i guess, everyone gotta learn on how to handle problems, one way or another.

actually, in my opinion, there is an equal amount of guys & girls who's like that. after all, both guys and girls are human and human are prone to mistake. FORGIVE is vert much needed. dont hold grudge because it's just self-torture.

dont think so negatively, yeah. all the best. how's your trip and work back in Malaysia?

yup, yup, miyoko replying now.

just be yourself, ok? dont be too nervous. everyone have been through first date before. so, just be yourself and enjoy the date and accompany.

This post has been edited by miyoko: Nov 9 2006, 08:53 AM

hmm... as for me, i see an equal case between guys and girls. however, what you said is true. girls a more easily emotional influenced than guys.

hey, since it's a short time that you'll be in Malaysia, should try to spend some time with your girl. anyway, weekend will be coming soon. so you can have all the time you want with your girl

hey... dont be so frustrated. well, i know you have the right to be so. however, you should understand that she loves to serve God. hmmm... how about trying to talk nicely with her and work out some time together. well, a little bit of time is always better than nothing, right? I'm sure you guess will be able to find that slot in between, right? dont be so stressed up, or else, you wouldnt be able to think.