^ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

some Indians here will get mad...just tell them this is a joke ?

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.

The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened.

He kept on increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept on coming home before him. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Lynn is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife. Frustrated the man said, "Put that cat on the phone, I am lost and I need directions."

monks got 6 full-stops on their forehead, yet they talk much less than i do

Hey,remember the last time when we were on the train? I put my dog on the window and you put your face on the window too and the people said 'Hey,look!Twins!'

What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?



Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."



================

The president of a large corporation opened his directors meeting by announcing, "All those who are opposed to the plan I am about to propose will reply by saying, 'I resign'



=================

What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?



The ones in the casinos are serious.



================



When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.



===================



A little boy went up to his father and asked, "Dad, where did all of my

intelligence come from?"



His father replied, "Well, son, you must have

gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine."



===================



The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.



The Second Law of Philosophy: They're both wrong.



===================



Sunny's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Sunny seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls."



The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution,

Please advise. I have the same problem with his Father."

from my mail

Just Passing Through
> A Sikh was on his way to Khalsa Club when he
> decided to take a short-cut through somebody's
> garden. The Owner comes out angrily shouting : Hey, do
> you know you are trespassing?
> Sikh answered : No, I'm Jaspar Singh
>

'


good one

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them: "In medicine, it Is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth." Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my Index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

Ahahahahaa....observer carefully!

wise camel joke.. plz check the attachment


Attached File(s)
 AWiseCamel.zip ( 77.37k ) Number of downloads: 175

I got it from my e-mail....


Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows on my PC, I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows CD. Too my astonishment and distress he threw it into my micro-wave oven and turned it on. I was upset because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.' After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it.' To my surprise the CD was quite cold and it seemed to have become thicker and heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, in lines finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth:

4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C2C204F6E65204F5320746F
2066696E64207468656D2C0D0A4F6E65204F5320746F206272696E67207468656D20
616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E6573732062696E64207468656D
'I cannot read the fiery letters,' I said.
'No,' he said, 'but I can. The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:'


One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Wish this was real.

This post has been edited by tunertoobe: Feb 17 2006, 09:48 PM

Lol...microwave?? Lol...a lot of updates since the fireplace.

Hi, friends, hope you have fun!!

Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed
up, this should make things a little bit clearer.

IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in an 10X10 cell.
At WORK you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON you get three meals a day.
At WORK you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON you get time off for good behavior.
At WORK you get more work for good
behavior.

IN PRISON the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At WORK you must often carry a security card/key and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON you can watch TV and play games.
At WORK you could get fired for watching TV
and playing games.

IN PRISONyou get your own toilet.
At WORK you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISONthey allow your family and friends to visit.
At WORK you aren't even supposed to speak to your family.

IN PRISONall expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
At WORK you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISONyou spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
At WORK you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISONyou must deal with sadistic wardens.
At WORK they are called managers.

you should be in PRISON
looks like u love prison much!
btw i ROFL

prison = paradise

for me prison = hell
can't play pc

get a pc and put inside the prison lor..
or u bribe the officer there and let them use the computer there..

ROFL Nice one, but i prefer to Work