I am a man,

OK. My kid around 1.5 month now (I got one kid only so far),
So we found a babysitter will cost us RM650 per month.
but current babysitter already taking care 4 kids (4 years old, 3 yeas old, 2 years old, 1 year old).
So my wife very worry that the babysitter cannot take care our kid properly. But we haven't send my kid to there, will send him next week.

My wife and My nett salary = Rm10K.
Mum Babysitt 3000
House Loan 2300
Kid Insurance 260
Wife Insurance 400
My Insurance 150
Condo Maintain 150
Electricity 120
Astro 80
Internet 150
My Handphone 88
Petrol 400
Car Maintain 200
Water 30
Kid Milk 120 (Assume 2 box x 600g)
Pampers 120 (Assume 4 box RM30)
Medical Expenses 200
Food 600 (Assume RM150 x 3 x 3 person include weekend too)
Indah Water 8

TOTAL = RM8376

so below is 2 PLANS.

PLAN A
1. Continue give babysitter to takecare
2. COST = RM650

PLAN B
1. Give mother in law to takecare,
2. Overall my mother in law is a very good person, i am OK with her, she is very caring and love our kid.
3. But there is one big problem, she owe loan shark some big amount and have to pay her debt RM3K per month.
4. She currently working at bazaar selling vegetable to pay her debt. If we want her to takecare our baby, then we have to pay her RM3K per month. She can cook for us, and clean the house too.
5. COST = RM3,000

I am super big headache which way to go.
Please advise.

This post has been edited by sovietmah: Oct 3 2012, 04:27 PM

Seem ok if you stick with plan b, someone you know is taking care of your precious baby..its risk if you let others take care. You help her she help you. Cook and clean house is a plus.

Yeah, i do agree too. Actually both hav its pros n cons. If you want to send to babysitter, make sure you find a good one (even if not the best). At least someone u trust and will not ABUSE your baby. It is a pity that we often see in papers babies being abused.. :'( However good thing for sending to babysitter is, you and your wife will have time on your own to do more things. I believe if it is your MIL who is taking care of your baby, you and your wife will be responsible to take care at night? And in the event you both need a break, you can always ask help from the babysitter. Good babysitter will also give you lots of advices on how to take care of babies and there will be lots of things can be shared. Now comes the bad part.. it is hard to "open ur mouth" in the event you are not OK with their ways of doing / take care of your baby. The feeding part may become a concern when your baby is older in future. What if they feed him sweet, fried stuff that we parents never want them to try at such tender age??

If you MIL can take care, it is good but to pay RM3k honestly is really costly for me. Good part is, of course she will be able to take care of your baby the way you wan it to be and you can comment easier too since it is your mom. But mind you, grandparents tend to pamper the kids. This happens in many cases. So concern is that your baby will be spoit (but of course this is not CONFIRMED will happen. is just in case only). And ur time will be more restricted. Your life will be revolving ur baby all the time cos you can't expect ur MIL to take care from day til nite right? Cos she will be tired too.

Having said all that, its still up to u to judge. I personally go for babysitter (my son is now 1 year). i feel it is best for my husband n i as he needs to work late most of the time, while i need time on my own to handle the house, grocery, cleaning, cooking, and not to say rest after a hard day at work. Most importantly, ur r happy with ur decision and don't make urself stressed up. Taking care of a child is a long process. Not a day or two. You have to consider it in long term.

Hmmmm... what happens if you dont help your mother with 3k? She'd still be working as a vege seller?

yes.

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Added on October 3, 2012, 5:54 pmYes regardless we send over to babysitter or MIL takecare, we still taking care ourselves at night.

This post has been edited by sovietmah: Oct 3 2012, 05:55 PM

perhaps rm3000 is alot.. but if you say she will cook for your family and to take care the house i think its good with it. but provided the grocery is included in the rm3000. assuming she is taking rm1000 for babysit, then another rm2000 is the grocery for meals n household. at least it is someone who is close that take care the kid. though i agreed that grandparents tend to spoilt the kid hwoever as parents will also teach them.. not that you will leave the kid to MIL 24 hours or only see the kid once per week. if youre still staying together then i think you can still teach the kid well.

PS: one month 2 boxes (600g) for milk is definetely not enough. unless your wife is breastfeeding then can. otherwise is gonna be like at least 5boxes (600g).

beofre i had my baby here, i assume less than rm200 for milk powder every month but it is not sufficient. my baby milk intake every month 800g x 5 boxes.

3K exclude food.
but possible nego with her so 2.5K. but with the living expenses nowadays, need RM700-800 per month for 3 person even cook at home.
yes, my wife breastfeeding, but supply not enuff, so 50%50%.

can u get another bb sitter?
this bb sitter not recommended as take care too many children
for me, 3k is very high cost.

Seriously, 3k is kinda expensive if exclude food.
But then again, I rather not send to the baby sitter that care for so many at 1 time..
Try looking for another baby sitter if possible.

RM3k to mother-in-law seem really a blood sucker just bcos she owned loan shark...

for mine, at the moments we paying to my mother-in-law RM850 per month for 24X7 except saturday and sunday and excluded pamper and milk expenses... but sometimes my mother-in-law will cook some porridge and other food to my kids and sometimes prepare our meal for lunch and dinner by mother-in-law when saturday and sunday...

anyway, do your mother-in-law have other children? she may ask her children to pay some of her debt and reduce your burden to pay her debt only, a family should help each others no matter how...

Do you know why your mother owed money to loan shark? Because if you give her 3K and she still has the old habits (maybe gambling?) .... it will be a worse of both solutions.....

got 5. 3 working include my wife, 1 helping at bazaar, 1 studying. I think the rest of them not afford to help her pay the debt also. that's why she need to continue to work.

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Added on October 4, 2012, 9:30 amOld story last time gambling, old debt, soon to be clear.
After nego, could be RM2.5K.
I just worry that if i pay her Rm2.5K per month, later her "problem" become "my problem", later loan shark come and find me.

This post has been edited by sovietmah: Oct 4 2012, 09:30 AM

3K tooo much for me... i think max rm 1000 enough...

If i worked Rm30K per month i straight away ask my wife not need work anymore. so Rm3K or Rm2.5K is a burden, my house loan also not so much.
Thinkinh maybe let her takecare 1 year, and then send to babysitter after that.

it is good to have mum in law to take care of babk

as for the 3K why not try mitigate the situation.

find out exactly how much she owes the loan shark,
arrange for a bank loan or friendly loan to cover the amount all at once and get a discount from the Along
this will help her get off the Along's hook and also help you to reduce your burden of paying 3K

IMO, get another babysitter that able to care for max 2 only. Forget abt ur MIL, soon it will become ur problem. What if loan shark came and hurt ur baby?pls stay away ur MIL, say me rude but for the sake of safety ur baby. Get another babysitter include food may only take u rm1k only.

Babysitter with abt 4 children is abt range below rm850, as for abt 2 or less children is range rm1k below. This is what I survey. Calculateurself the math of savings and risk...

Just wondering, are the loan sharks dangerous? You might wanna consider that factor. Or what about another baby sitter? Seems like the one you chose is already busy enough.

Hi guys,
CANNOT, plan need to change.
Just noticed the babysitter cheat on us and she taking care 7 (SEVEN, TUJUH, सात, 七) babies now exclude my kid, luckily i haven't yet send to there.

Insane right?

So for the time being i ask my MIL takecare my kid, so i am looking for alternative now.

This post has been edited by sovietmah: Oct 5 2012, 10:01 AM

Does your babysitter have any other helpers? Some babysitters I know also taking care of 7-8 kids but have other relatives helping them out + got maid to do the cleaning.

So far i heard no la.
One of my wife colleague also give her daughter to takecare, and the butt already swelling because babysitter din change pampers regularly.
She also planned to let her takecare till around end of this year.