http://www.mmail.com.my/content/71659-bull...member%E2%80%99

School bullying is nothing new. However everyone agree is not something not pleasant and certainly something that no parents wish to happen to their kids.

If you watch some American movies, they show school bullies as being quite extreme cases. However, I am not sure if such a thing actually happen in US. Even if it is real, that is US. We here in Malaysia is Asian country. Asians do not tolerate bullies as much as western people. They believe kids getting bullied will learn to grow up. I wonder why there are so many serial killers there and the Columbine massacre if anyone remember.

What can we as parents do? Some of these bullies are actually very smart students.

Why am I concerned? Because my son is one of the bully victim. He is just Standard One and is getting bullied by his female classmate. The classmate is even the class monitor. It is minor bullying where she tend to hide his pencil case. End up we thought he always forget to bring back his pencil case. Later only we found out it is because this girl always hide his pencil case. Problem is, my son suffer from Asperger's Syndrome. It is some sort of high functioning autism where he has problem socializing with people. Kids will see him as the odd one out and think he is weird and will bully him. He will not be able to fight back because his parents (me and wife) are not violent people. We are not those parents who like still living in the cave and shouting like mad. This is not serious thing. But as time progress, I am afraid it will eventually turned out to be like something in the article above.

Even teachers are ignorant to these kind of things. After enrolling my kids in school, I realize the public school teachers nowadays are REALLY lousy. I knew it wasn't good but I didn't expect them to be a bunch of useless people who only became teacher probably cause they can't get other jobs. I am not saying all are like that but good ones are only a handful. Like finding needle in a haystack.

Partially, I blame the parents for their bad upbringing of their kids.

So if you have a child, please teach them to respect others and not subject to bullying.

UPDATE:
http://www.mmail.com.my/content/71795-girl...s-yet-say-sorry

This post has been edited by abubin: May 10 2011, 01:04 PM

Parent's participation in school activities is very important these days. Dun expect the teacher to take care of your child safety.

you mean PIBG? They are pretty useless and got no power over the school. Except when the school need donation.

saw the video last week, terrible. it doesnt matter if it happens in Malaysia or US or Russia or anywhere, it's unacceptable.

A lot of these problems become serious because the kids dare not tell their parents what happened.

So try to be someone that your kids can talk to openly.

I blame the parents. Know how to give birth dunno how to teach them. Parents themselves also no morals n became bad role models to children.

I speak from experience teaching in a rotten school with kids like this from troubled family backgrounds.

You still need to participate, make your presence felt and show that you mean business even though pretty useless organization.
Like visiting the form teacher on a quarterly basis. Progress report of your kid academic and koke activities (in directly the school & teacher's performance). Also please take time to go to the sports day, concert or prize giving day or etc.

like u...i m feeling scared...what have our country become...so many bullying cases!! These bulliers when found out shd go into a discipline school instead of still being in the same school...not to say what, but these students are disturbed! Someone might end up dead. We dont see much of this last time...y? Nowdays parents just dun know how to take care of their kids!

Dr Wee proposed banning of phone to school.. i was wondering if there;s no phone to capture all these bullying at school,,... do we know what's happening in school? when the latest bully case surface there's an uproar among msians , netizens , forums etc.. but what if there's no such recordings being upload...do we still think ourkids are safe from those kaki bullies? or we assume everything is fine?

my opinion is that we as parents should always have constructive coversation , open talk with our kids and do not jump into conclusion instantly. create an environment where your kids are willing to share with you if she/he faces any problems in school... dun go la keep marah2 until they also scare to tell you things.

besides, maybe by speaking to teachers on the performance and also well being of ya kids in school willhelp.
This also shows to the school that you are 1 no nonsense parents!.

and i believe gansterism in school is being fed by outsiders....kids who join triad grps tend to flex their authority in school...

This post has been edited by ImUrDaddY: May 10 2011, 10:02 AM

I agree most of the blame is on the parents of the bully. I have seen some bad role models whereby these aunties act like inconsiderate b****es. Drive like a bull. They should realize they are indirectly telling their kids, it's okay to behave like hooligans.

As for teacher's role, I guess they should try to teach these kids better not only in terms of academic but also morale and as a decent human being. At least the teachers could have identified the rotten eggs and stopped them from harassing other students. Instead, they just let it be and think their only job there is academic teaching.

Please don't blame the person being bullied for not telling their parents. It's not easy for them to voice it out. Most of these kids are embarrassed of what happened and some of them even blame themselves. Most have problems expressing themselves due to problems such as asperger's syndrome. That is the reason why such kids are easily picked upon cause the bullies can get away with it.

Although my daughter still less than 2 years old, i have already thinking about how to decide the pre-school to her......
We just discuss at here lah....may be the 1st thing must do the research that school culture, teacher history & background, school environment....etc?

If the happening to my daughter, as a parents sure will be angry and hurt. But please cool down, and try to talk with the teacher and principal. Try to let teacher talk to their parents and settle it. if the teacher not responsed about it, we just try meet their parents and discuss above matter. (see how long or how many times that happening to our children)

Ofcos we must have good communication with our children, to be your child's good friend. So, anything different, then they will talk to you. if not, we cant do anything and dont know what is the happening right?

I think sometimes peer pressure is to be blamed too.

My colleague told me that he was called to his son's school as his son slapped another student. My colleague questioned his son..and his son's reply was because his friend dared him to. Of coz his son kena nice reprimanding from my colleague lar.

That's why we must have good communication with our child. Must understand the whole happening with them. Nowsaday parents was very action in the bully happen, and straight go to school "marah" teacher or that children.

Nowadays being parents is very tough. We are worried our kids get bullied and also worry that our kid will bully ppl.

Hey, I recall old days when my younger sister get bully by her classmates. Myself being 2yr older (at standard 4), I bring along a group of my classmates and went to my sister's class. Call for those kids (who bully my sis) and warn them. After that, my sis never complain that she get bullied anymore.
But that was old days where kids are less agressive and scare of elder. I doubt this way can work anymore now. Even the parents confront the bully... I scare ended up they bully the victim even more.

I'm sure most of you have watched the video on Youtube lately, the one where the girl's hair was cut and strangled with a neck tie?

In my opinion, girls student are as fierce as boys now. Looking at that video as example, the 3 - 4 bullies are referred to as "school flowers". Because they are more fortunate (I assume richer too), they overstepped their boundaries and step all over the other girl (I assume is poorer)

Money is not much of a concern here but who is more fortunate and less. The parenting of these children is to blame too for spoiling their children like a brat. They think they are born better environment, prettier and thus above all else.

When I watched the video, I felt like giving each one of them a tight slap or two in the face. But you see The Star has reported that this case is solved with a 14 days suspension and in my opinion is too light on them. As parent, if you see your child being bullied like this, I am not sure if you can content the rage. Everyone is born into this world equal.

If our kid is the bully, that is even worst as it only shows poor parenting from our side. I believe we need to teach our child in a soft and gentle manner and do not let them be overconfident and so lansi. They need to be taught to be humble and kind. This is why I always tell my cousin brother who has 2 children dont raise voice, be kind, be gentle, dont always mang-chang with his children.

Life can be stressful at times but we as parents and role models should suck it in and show good examples with our children. Do not let them be overconfident, like for boys thinking they are bigger, smarter, more handsome than others and for girls, oh school flower and dumb blonde kind of mentality.

There were days when I was bullied and my brother came to rescue, I think this was why our parents enrolled all 4 of us in the same school throughout our primary and high school days so that we can take care of each other.. and that of course, when mother drove us all, we can go to the same destination one shot. I'd do that too.

This post has been edited by merchant9: May 11 2011, 09:11 AM

pretty useless i would say regarding to the trend of today. children are too out smart the parents, and parents remain busy as usual atruggling with life.

Do u think parenting is easy? never. Do u think speak to their children will make their children to become a better person? what about school moral education?

Do u seriously think student will imply the morale defination to their life?

Well, i came from a rotten family and i used to be as bad arse as the girls. I steal, i lied, and i fight all the time.

My mom is more to soft type and my dad was the scariest person on earth to me. The only person im afraid of but still i broke all the rules.

By time of growing up before entering college back then, i changed. Not becoz of teacher or parents but religion.

Having said that, i started to mix with churches friend rather than hooligan. I understand how i was changed from a bad person to a better one.

So, be in the kids shoe, they r to be educated in the right way. Education is nothing to attract the kids today becoz we all have overwhelmed knowledge, thanks to mr google.

All i want to say is, know ur kids friend, know who they are mixing with. If u dont have time to teach them, send them to church, or something like a sunday school.

dont be skeptical and selfish on the belief u r dealing, u dont bother to study the religion n believing blindly. I was changed in a place where i

mix with good people, good teaching on life perspective and more over love from the group.

Asking all parents to be nice to their kid and teach them in a proper way, well, I must ask, who studied parenting before giving birth?

My dad has nothing for me to learn, but i learned not to be like how my dad treated me. From there, I know how do i treat my kids in the future.

although my dad wasnt a good role model, i stop blaming him and forgive. Instead, i treat her differently with love.

So who's bad? Just voice out my feeling, no flaming please. peace!

Well, yes.. we will try our very best to teach the kids to be kind, gentle and all sorts of way to be good ppl.. but on top of that we still have to teach them to be strong and brave.
Yes, we doesn't want our child to be bullies.... but being too gentle.. they might end up be the victim. Parenting is tough.

As for the case of the girl's hair being cut by bullies. Besides 14 days suspension and apologies.. the only thing that the ministry did is transfer the victim to new school. I think this is not a good move. They should transfer the bullies and not the victim. Letting the bullies in the same school will just leave them to bully another victim.. that doesn't solve the problem at all. But if separate the bullies and transfer them to new school.. making them to be newbies in a new environment could change them. And this could be a good lesson to other students that being a bullies.. you will be send out away.. not going to have the same gang anymore.

Thanks for sharing.

No one said parenting is easy. But some parents are taking it too easy.

U want a good horse but refuse to let the horse eat good grass. It wont work. Parents are the closest to the kids and if they cant teach the kids well, who has the responsibility? Blame the school? The society perhaps?

Everyone's upbringing is different. I admit its easy to be bad but if parents dun check on the kid, it will be getting worse.

lol! i recall i did same as u oso~ i'm 4 yrs older den my sis. everyday go her class make sure nobody bully her. whoever bully her or scold her i'll scold them till they scared. lol! some even bring their siblings come and immediately i report this to principal. not to say i coward but is the right way to protect own self and siblings. never fight blindly.

nowadays kids are too pampered. not only the teachers have the responsibility for this, parents and education department too. my mum is a teacher and when she everyday come bck from home, always complain that the principal always give unnecessary pressure, want the student be obedient but cannot scold the student. scare later the parents come to school complain that the teacher overpowered. another thing is, the students are often very rebellious and tends to get revenge when get scolded by teacher. and the parents of the students don't take any action about this. can you see the problem? everywhere these type of problem also exist. it already not the matter of choosing better school will not get bullied. even good school smart student will bully people also. just train your children the wise action to take when this happen to them. teach them to be protective. and don't too pamper your children. you'll spoiled them.

This post has been edited by huangpl89: May 12 2011, 11:34 PM

Yes....huangpl89 you are right......
to be a smart parents and teach ur children to be a smart child and to know how to settle
above matter by gentlemen, not just fighting can settle.