My bf of one year just told me he doesn;t like to hold hands or display any physical affection in public and he asked me to accept it. and say maybe just maybe he can change...but don't put hopes on it. So this is driving me a lil crazy. I dont wanna leave my bf just because he doesnt hold my hands. But on the other hand, what couple doesnt hold hands or display public affection that show them they are a couple. Everyone knows we are a couple so it is definitey not because he's trying to appear single. He just had never had a proper gf and never hold any girls hand before. He did try for the past year..but not seldom..just occasionally he'll hold my hand.for a couple of minutes..then he'll let go. And now he completely stop. And when I grab his arm he just shove me off...and we ended up having a big argument bout tat. But anyway the question is how can I accept the fact that my bf would never hold my hands? When I asked him is it for forever? he said no..mayb after we get married we can hold hands.. i think it's just bullshit and if he can hold hands then..why cant he do it now...whenever we talk bout this we just end up arguing..and whenever we go out and see couple holding hands..i just feel really uncomfortable. and make me extremely mad at hime and also really a lil self pity on my behalf

what's ur tot on this guys? Are there any LYN-ers who is doing the same thing as my bf?? I think not.

oh poor thing lol

Me same like your bf but my gf doesn't even b**** about it...

Guy dun like to hold hand maybe he feel hot, sweating.

If he choose to be staying single in front of other ppl eyes then dun let him kiss or hug if he dun wan to hold your hand.

My bf does the same thing. I hate it too, because I like PDA. Understand exactly how you feel.. But, he wouldn't shove me away if I initiate holding his hand. Your bf abit too much to shove you off.. If I kena shove off, I would just walk the other direction. So disrespectful..

+1

Waa.. Kinda pity of u.. Myb he feel uncomfortable with it.. If nt by holding hands, try 2 do some othr thng.. Eg: put his hand on ur shoulder etc.. Perhaps could lessen ur sad feeling..

My bf only hold my hand once then he never do so anymore *sigh*

i guess u guys hv to discuss abt it.
maybe he has sweaty hands?

---

Added on April 4, 2010, 8:46 pm+1

This post has been edited by vivienne85: Apr 4 2010, 08:46 PM

Ya when 2 person hands are hot, it'll get sweaty fast. That's really uncomfortable.

But, my hands are always cold, many hot-hands like my type of hand.

maybe he is having seeing someone else and scared that ppl will see that he are double or triple timing ....

From a male point of view: Yeah maybe he's not used to holding hands and all and showing public affection but he should know that his gf is different.

As a man I think he shouldn't fret much about things like this. If a girl wants you to hold her hand then damn it just hold her hand. What the hell is your big hang up?

If you're a guy and you have complex an complicated feelings about holding hands then you might as well grow a pu$$y. I'm sorry but you are dating a boy bordering on becoming a spineless baby. Find a real man. What are men becoming these days

1st yes..he said it's cos of the hot weather..but then even at night when we're out or when we're in the mall, he doesnt wanna hold anymore..anyway he claimed that "I dont like it" that's the reason so i'm like WTF is this !

you did it in the past..and then u suddenly change .and say u dun like it..and u did it cos u only wanna try it and then end up realising u dun like it and I have to accept it all.

Of course i wanna b**** about it. and then now he see everything i wrote..and hit me! he is damn cool guy

---

Added on April 4, 2010, 9:09 pmcool = cold

This post has been edited by MeruChan: Apr 4 2010, 09:09 PM

wat's there not to like abt holding a gf's hand..aihh

[sarcasm]Your bf is an obvious winner [/sarcasm] You need to keep it real and leave him now.

---

Added on April 4, 2010, 9:16 pmMaybe he is experimenting with homosexuality and feels icky when you hold his hand? Attitude wise he is already a retard.

This post has been edited by JeromeDubois: Apr 4 2010, 09:16 PM

i used to hate holding my ex's hand. reason is i just didn't love him truthfully and i tot holding his hand just make me very very very uncomfortable. i don't know but to me, hand is something symbolic. if i give my hand for a person to hold, means that i feel secured and belonged to him already, which in my ex's case is not like that. i even hate being seen with him. dun ask me why i got with him it's a long story. but anyway, maybe it takes time? why don't instead of being sad, make more effort to show him lots and lots of love. don't be sad and saddened by this aye? becos im sure if u shower him with plenty of love, there'll be one day which he'll feel that and eventually wants to hold ur hands forever cheers!

Marvelous job on wasting his time.

oh not dis shit again........

i'm like ur bf, dun prefer to hold hands, but not dat i dun like it, & i definitely wont shove my gf away if she holds my hand/arm.
for me, dis is ntgh to do wit not showing affectionate, not bcoz wanna appear single, & not bcoz wanna keep it cool.
is just, well, i dun think there is a need to show every1 dat v r couple....

how he treat u in a more private places pulak?
me & my girl dun hold hands in public....
put in more private places like cinema, v do hold hands/cuddle.....

the key is communication.......
i told her bout my habit of not holding hands long b4 she ask.....
she understood & cool about it.....

Grope Grope always not a problem isn't it...

It's not that we wanna show off.. But the feeling of holding hands is really something that we appreciate.. it's warm, comforting and intimate.. And yes, we do let go when it's hot and sweaty.. not like die die don't let go.

But then again, if your gf/bf hand is sweaty, you should still hold that hand. Who cares if it's sweaty? It's their sweat and it's your sweat. It's just sweat.

TS, he mention u dun like to hold hand. I think there is a shadow in his heart.

He said he tot u dun like to hold hand. I think something happenning here. If i not mistaken, when he wan to hold your hand but u r actually angry wit him, obviously u dun wan him to touch your hand or anything. So this might cause him start thinking u r the 1 who dun like to hold hand.

I think he is fine wit tat just tat he got a unpleasure shadow in his heart. I suggest u talk to him to clear this out before it is deeply hurt u both relationship.

Good day & Go lucky.

if in the park i dont mind, but if in shopping complex..i think about it. twice.

just bite his hand. just kidding

ok... i think he had some sad past which involved holding hands..
or ermm.. what is his religion?
if he is a muslim then this wud be normal..
if he is not then its weird..

last time i was shy and i dun let my bf touch my hands..
until one day he grab hold of it tight and dun let me go..
even when i hit him he dun let go..
so now i LOVE holding hands~~~
seduce him or something..

Well if the guy feels misreable when it's sweaty, then let go for awhile, cool down first and resume after that.. fair right

yeah....wen it is only once a while....
if hold hands everyday...every time......like no meaning edi......

That's why I say guys like this are little boys. A little of your gf sweat also you wanna mind? Come on, are you a guy or a baby? Guys who mind sweaty palms should go check for homosexuality or the princess factor in them might be way too strong.

Hehe.. princess factor.. I thought I'm the only princess in the relationship..

Many guys in M'sia these days are princesses. They lack the ability to behave like proper men. Always whining and complaining over small things like a little girl. Always minding small and insignificant things like holding their gf's sweaty hands...

+1.

When guy with girl on going something always will have sweat. So tell me ? R u going to shove him / her off when something going on ?

Obviously not.

Your boyfriend could have sweaty palms (like me) and disguise it with false machoness.

let him be free to walk around the mall la.. i also i dont like holding hand while walking

This again.....
Guy touch the girl girl complain; guy dont touch the girl, girl complain,
so does it matter the guy do it or not?

Anyway, if ur bf got the christian type thinking, nothing weird thru
That guy in the church told me las time,
"When a boy get together with a girl, and touch her last finger after a year, that's the true sigh of sincere. And after the second year, if the boy did not touch more than 2 of her finger, then thats love".
Cant help but big LOL everything remember this

---

Added on April 5, 2010, 12:36 amSame case as me
I would hold her hand when i feel like really wan to, but would let go soon cause of my crazy sweating palm


This post has been edited by anti-informatic: Apr 5 2010, 12:36 AM

zzzz.. wtf are such people.

last time i hold hand with my ex i always feel my hand sweaty... my ex very thin wan impossible so easy sweat...i aso dun sweat but... (it's hard to know coz it's palm sweat, dunno who's sweating) so always un-hold and and wipe... feel paiseh lo (i thought it was me) until after i hold hand with another ex, totally no sweat... now i know who sweat tat time

somehow this scenario often happens when a boy dun like his mom holding his hands in public

---

Added on April 5, 2010, 3:15 amThe guy should place the arm around her waist.

this give her warmth and security

This post has been edited by happy4ever: Apr 5 2010, 03:15 AM

then what's the point of being in a relationship? lol I know it's not the be all and end all, but if he's not gonna hold your hand and walk beside you like he's a friend, then he can't complain if other guys come to chat you up

my boyfriend is korean and he is definitely not a princess lar...can say he is a lil chauvinistfic. but he treats me well in other aspect..sometimes he can be a bit rough on the edges..but he changed a lot compare to last time. So now it's only this problem that's bothering me. But I am not gonna leave my bf just because he won't hold hands with me in public. I am trying to channel this anger and dissapointment to a place... i am human hey i cant bottle my feelings and be all mulia like that.

the shttest part is wen we see other couples walking and holding hands laughing happily...you knwo just not holding hands seem to take the chemistry and the connection away. sighh..what to do? have to accept lor

poor thing.

KOREAN !!! WTF.. this are gay people, they dont even say girl are equal to them. Mostly girls are lower tier than men in their thought. Beside, korean man cant even drink beer or whiskey without going berzerk or crazy after 30 mins.
Krazy Koreans... thats the last time i drink with those noobs. Maybe, if i need entertainment .. i should call them in and have 2 bottle of whiskey ready.

bagi siham tapi tangan xmau pegang

u need to give him some puss.. i mean push

+1

i think u shouldn't read too much into it. if that's the case with my bf, i think i'm going to end up emo big time.

Love is not just about holding hands... maybe he got some reason/problem behind it?

So instead of posting this here, why don't you discuss with him?

I thought your BF is Korean? Maybe it is a cultural thing.

may b he thinks you are not pretty enough...he thinks that holding you will make him looks abd, lose face and feel humble in front of the others...

accept it.. its the truth...

i am surrounded by koreans most of the time. and they are very heart warming and funny people. I dont know why people have that kind of misconception about koreans or japanese. it all comes down to their individuality.

and thank you for those people with the sarcastic comments. very much appreciated..made my boring easter day sparkle much.

just stereotyping......
coz all those korean male singer/actor looks like fags.....

ur man aint a man.. there's no valid fuking reason he cant hold hands...more weirdos each day. thnks lyn for opening up my eyes/mind

---

Added on April 5, 2010, 12:08 pmwat u mean is normal for muslim for not holding hands? u from which planet?

ffs go out side and see for urself..they dont just hold hands but....too.

This post has been edited by ImUrDaddY: Apr 5 2010, 12:11 PM

Yes, some of them are fine. Some are a bit cold and distant. Or perhaps they are just the quiet type.

Not stereotyping but it could be a cultural thing. Do you see other Korean couples holding hands? Ask him if his parents held hands?

PS

Go Google for - koreans public display of affection



This post has been edited by joe_mamak: Apr 5 2010, 12:29 PM

wash your hand more

and use soap while u at it

Guys like these memang cerewat wan....they like to set rules for everythying...holding hands also must have code of conduct.

Its normal to hold hands ma....got like vs dislike wan meh??

---

Added on April 5, 2010, 1:03 pmif thats really the case then dump him immediately. A male korean wannabe is the


This post has been edited by teongpeng: Apr 5 2010, 01:03 PM

holding hands is like what MOST lovey dovey couples do. how could u NOT like the most basic pyhsical contact of the simplest form? some more hes a guy. guy always like to touch girls, holding hands also reluctant aaa??? Is he the very MCP type?? even holding hands will make him look unmanly??

maybe he dont like u that much ..

why do you keep emphasising on PUBLIC?

means he got hold you and hug you in PRIVATE?

That means its not the matter of body contact he's afraid.
Its how he is bothered about how others perceive of him being with you!

The holding hands part aside, the bolded part above IS a concrete reason to walk away from this relationship. No real man would hit a woman just because of words. Those are faggot men.

he probably prefers guy's hands

Korean ?? I c korea movie also rarely c they hold hand. Is this their culture ? If it is their culture then u dun expect to hold hand already.

koreans dont hold hands mehh?? then whats up with all those lovey dovery sugary syruppy love dramas ????

Wait till you watch the korean movie Sex is Zero

darling, he's got sensitive skin is it? my hubby also dun like to hold hold hand / hug hug in hot / normal weather. only does it when we're in aircond room. it makes him uncomfortable. and when he's uncomfortable, his mood wouldn't be good. that's even worse right

sure you will feel hurt at first, but try to understand the situation k. imagine if your skin is going to peel off every time he holds your hand you also dun wan lar. i'm sure he's got lots of other good points which outweights this glitch.

i got a friend like your bf there. he said pegang tangan berdosa

if i was a female like you, i would slap his face. seriously.

Sorry happy4ever, I dun understand. can u explain more ?

So.... how old are you again?

delicious sandwich......

actually...i personally dont really hold my partners hand unless they hold mine

honest answer? well im not comfortable in displaying my love in public

heck i love her, but some ppl are shy thou, maybe i was brought up in a conservative household

but then again meru, some guyz are arseholes, they might be just making you a showdog or somethin, basically a guy does not reject a partners strong approach.

not gonna elaborate much this time, i guess this is enough for you to go figure out what it is happening between the 2 of you

welcome back meru, nvr tot i would see you again, gonna post some tits soon?

Wth, stop making small matters big kay? Noone is impeccable, accept that! Can't do it in public? Do it privately. Can't stand him? Stop whining and change to a guy who rapes u in public.

Welcome back meru!

This is just something you'll have to accept about him, if you can't accept it, you might as well leave. Otherwise just try to your best to accept it. Some guys are just really uncomfortable with public display of affection.

what's sooo shy and uncomfy abt holding hands?just holding hands, not ask the gal to hold his c*ck in public

mebbe bf is shy to hold her hand. she u know how she look like right lol

+100
my hand sweats too that's why haha..and sometime i felt paiseh to hold her hand cos its sweaty but she seems ok with me =) that makes me feel grateful

btw TS ,dont be sad about it..if he hits you , you will definitely dont go back to him .

I only hold my bf hands once. Cant really recall the feeling

Apa.. I saw a few holding hands and touch here touch there too.
even got photos of them xxx.
But still many out there say berdosa and all..
must married ady oni can hold hands..

Anyway now TS say her bf is korean..
I fly to and frow from Korea all the time..
The koreans' i know are shy and timid..
But the younger ones.. teenager or younger than me are fun~

Theres always the chance that he might be trying to break up with you easily.

The first few months of coupling with you and he at leasts holds hands but as time passes by he doesn't? Normally people would gain more confidence over time with experience so publicly holding hands shouldn't be a problem here...

He could have sweaty hands though, you could try pushing him a little to admit something if there is anything at all. Or.. maybe he wasn't sure with the relationship you and him have from the start and wants to measure the scale a little before coming to a final conclusion.

Maybe he does have a problem with holding hands in public, if thats the case I really do feel sorry for you dear . Does he have any problems with hugging/kissing in public and if not then, how exactly does he show his affection for you?

Sorry for posting lots of negatives =/

thats why la, next time choose malaysians, not koreans

Yeah, Korean men tend to beat women. Malaysian women are so naive to think Korean guys are ideal bfs. LOL

japanese , korean men can be really male chauvinistic.

yeah, but malaysian women do not find japanese men appealing


edit: with the exception of Takeshi, that gorgeous b@stard

This post has been edited by spanker: Apr 6 2010, 10:56 AM

he think ur body temp too high la sometimes he in air con room blow till cold cold then u come hug or hold his hand then ur body heat transfer to him he bu suang ma. or you too cold then he was warm so he aso bu suang lol

imma dont understand

if your couple doesnt want to hold hand together, is it a sin or a crime?

i found out that this behaviour is just like a couple who doesnt want to lip-kiss, only cheek...

i donno..maybe because of their budaya or something...

some of my gal frens say they find japanese men (fr the movies and music videos) lookin like wimpy girly boys. the hairdo, the clothes, the androgenous thingie. on the contrary, korean men are much more attractive and virile, according to them laaaa...

---

Added on April 6, 2010, 11:05 ami think most gals would prefer their men to show some form of public affection towards em.imagine ur hooking up with this adorable guy and ur all ga ga over him and he pushed ur hand away and tells u to walk behind u???what the f***. i dunno if its the budaya of that country or whatever. but it seems like koreans and japanese are very much more open (i think) compared to other asian groups and why holding hands pun cannot meh?

This post has been edited by BoboTheGrouch: Apr 6 2010, 11:05 AM

Korea man attractive i dunno la...but korea is world number 1 hamsap country this i know...following by japan.

According to research.

hai meh? i tot it is the japanese LOLLL...

y girl so like public attention?
so it would b cool if the bf sing a song about how much he love her (like highschool musical) in public?
for me....i like to stay low.......
but dey hav small d***.....

big or small then i donno lo...how come u know ? tech ? u try before ??

porn......
JAV still better.....

girls think love = hugs, kisses, sweety stuff. guys prob think love as sumthing more substantial and beyond the lomantik stuff...nopw singing a song to the girl at her window is toomuch laaaa...u could actually embarass her . LOLLLL....holding hands is okaylaaaa....still can maintain ur manliness....but if overboard like kissing,heavy petting amd french kissing and rolling on the beach with ur gf like thise hamsapang moh , then i think its toooo muchhhhhh.....LOL

maybe meruchan digs her nose and no wash her hands, bf see also tulan?

Haha...maybe her bf afraid H1N1 ? bring hygiene soup and wash both his n your's hand before holding. Lets see wat excuse he can give ?

seriously.. gimme a call.. i dun mind of PDA.

if you like him, just let him be him
every person got their own fetish & their own weird behaviour
you can never understand, and can never explain

when u had enough and decided not to take it anymore, just walk away.

hahaaha think out of the box la guys,there also ARMS, just wrap ur arms into the partners arms, that's more closer to walk with and talk. hands can sometimes disturb ppl walking e..t..c.

everyone is just sticking to hands..swt... be creative like me~

This post has been edited by shadowglow: Apr 6 2010, 04:06 PM

I thought you quit lyn =P.

That's a first, a bf who gives the impression that he doesn't appreciate the physical aspects of a relationship. I don't know, it's a rare case. Maybe he's just insecure? You need to find the reason behind him not holding hands perhaps get a guy friend to ask him subtlety, other than not wanting to be seen in public with you....

why is this issue becoming so common in CC?

dont hold hands cannot? you love him or u want to look for someone to hold your hands?

wahhh...i love to holding girls hand...

in my opinion...
ur bf maybe, just maybe ashamed to go out wif u ler...

wtf, dont like to hold hands? O.o
I understand some people dont like to do it much it public,,but then shoving u off when u try to hold his hands? U sure he loves u?

consider this person is very discriminating between pretty and not so pretty people, so if the girl/guy, not so pretty... the bf/gf dun wan to be seen by public... maybe...

Lol, this world really big and any type of people also got.

Well, it's true that not worthy to break up because of SUCH minor things.

but try to ask, is it because he need some time to adapt to it? or because holding hand is tiring or sweating?

If he don like to hold you hand, you can hug his arm what, isn't it?

Lets just assume hes conservative up to the extend. If that's the case, you prolly wont get ANY excitement out of your love life. He would even avoid physical contact with his own gf, what the heck is this? He either thinks its embarrassing being seen with his gf that he wants to keep his "manly mojo" or whatever, or your hand consists of unknown radioactive underwater wasted compost that he would generally would not touch. XD Or better yet, he might think that "Eww girls! their saliva is poison and body is contagious! Boys galore! ", some random kiddie like thoughts.

Anyhow, being conservative = not productive, First law of thermodynamics --> nothing will come out of something.

Dont expect progress if he persists

This post has been edited by Keith321: Apr 8 2010, 03:21 AM