You are absolutely correct. This is my personal opinion about myself. Meaning that other people's judgements have stopped influencing my perception of self.

Wooo, so somebody thinks that I'm an idiot. So what? Plenty of other people think that I'm alright, and I have friends. This is the key. So what? There are other judgements of worth apart from what other people think and what I intend to derive from an interaction, because I CHOOSE my interactions and the people I interact with. So in the end I really don't care. 

If you really live life with a 'so what?' and 'I don't care attitude', I expect the real life you to be someone who doesn't have many friends, gets into problems easily and won't go far in anything that you do. Even if you are some grand person like Bill Gate, some Russian Oligarch or some Arab King, you can't CHOOSE who you interact with all the time. Occasions where you meet someone new or you have do deal with someone you don't naturally get along with will arise. Even your close friends wont be the exact same person everyday. Their mood changes and events occurs where we always have to think before we talk and say, where we step out of our comfort zone to please others. I'm amazed people can live with a me, myself and I attitude believing that if he think he's ok, the world will revolve smoothly around him.

There is the problem of something being so generalised it doesn't have any value.
The problem is you perpetrate this generalisation as though its something people should do/must do to succeed/thrive. There is truth to it, but as mentioned to you time and time again, you're putting the cart before the horse. Almost everyone knows that being healthy, being better groomed etc. will be better, but the problem is that such advice although true, is shallow, and it requires a much deeper understanding of core values before you truly understand what it means.

I'm going to make an assumption, but correct me if I'm wrong. You're still a student, and you haven't gone out in the working world to meet people at various levels of power. You're still stuck within the perspective of young students/young adults, the image of successful people are normally those on magazines; healthy, good looking and rich. Put that together with the social engagements around you and its easy to come to the misguided conclusion of what would qualities thriving person has.

Once you get out and start meeting people from all walks of life, you'll see how some really "attractive" people aren't "thriving" and how some people who just look so plain/average/below-average are actually doing damn well in life in almost all aspects. In your case, what you think is general truth may apply due to your personal experience, my personal experience however has a different generalisation. 
I do believe that you trying to make it "nice" for people undermines the entire message. If you have something to say, something to share, something of value. SAY IT and STAND BY IT don't give a shit about what other people think of it, if they can't bloody accept what you say, boo hoo, go cry to mommy.

You can't help people who do not want help, but you can help those who actively seek for help. If you want to take up writing, you have to be very strong on your points, people will criticise your writing from all angles, and if you always try to pander to the myriad criticism, your message in itself starts to lose direction and value.
I don't think its even good to begin with.
Yes, which I am disagreeing with you now no? The crux of the issue lies within how you define "self worth". Like religious believes, you have to realise that its entirely personal. You can't tell another person what their self worth is, or even how to judge their own self worthiness. Its something that have to come to by themselves.

You can teach them how to find it, but you can't tell them what it should be or what it is.
Really?

Lets see what you said here:
++100.

Another thing to increase attraction factor: "be happy with what you have".

(opens up flame shield!!)

This post has been edited by The_YongGrand: Jul 27 2009, 10:22 PM

If you really live life with a 'so what?' and 'I don't care attitude', I expect the real life you to be someone who doesn't have many friends, gets into problems easily and won't go far in anything that you do. Even if you are some grand person like Bill Gate, some Russian Oligarch or some Arab King, you can't CHOOSE who you interact with all the time. Occasions where you meet someone new or you have do deal with someone you don't naturally get along with will arise. Even your close friends wont be the exact same person everyday. Their mood changes and events occurs where we always have to think before we talk and say, where we step out of our comfort zone to please others. I'm amazed people can live with a me, myself and I attitude believing that if he think he's ok, the world will revolve smoothly around him.

You're arguing apples and oranges here. Nobody is advocating a the-world-revolves-around-me attitude. We're talking about how your life shouldn't be spent worrying about what other people think of you. The two are not the same.

mind her... i think she snapped as it may have hit a nerve.

And i bet you are happy ad proud whenever that happen

Damn you're sadistic.

What's there to be happy about? 

---

Added on July 28, 2009, 3:20 pmi was thinking like perhaps her ex had a similar attitude.
In reality i believe that there is nothing wrong with being self-confident, so long as you are not deluded.
ie. The mental sociopath who doesnt give a sh1t about everyone else is different from the thriving individual with lots of friends. The latter has people who look up to him and WANT to be his friend. Thus he chooses who he WANTS to hang out with... and chooses who he get's to know well. He has the social life and emotional support to be able to not really care about what some people think about him. (you know like how some people get really hurt when you bring up certain attributes they allegedly have)

mind her... i think she snapped as it may have hit a nerve.

You're arguing apples and oranges here. Nobody is advocating a the-world-revolves-around-me attitude. We're talking about how your life shouldn't be spent worrying about what other people think of you. The two are not the same.

     

I'm stunned into silence, so my thanks to Noob13 and Iambored for saying something.

Dickson's reply certainly resonated with the-world-revolves-around-me attitude. I never said we should spent out life worrying about what people think about you. I think that we need to give a considerable amount of thought about what people think about us when we communicate with others, to achieve our desired gain from that interaction.
In light of you intention to make CC a better place, refrain from posting useless lines if you have nothing to say in response to what I wrote. Or, If you can't understand the point I am trying to make, I'm sorry that you have a difficulty understanding English.

Yes, and that's the point. It sounded like that to YOU.

You've taken what I've said to run off on a WILD tangent with it, with hypothetical "what ifs" and "must be"s while entirely ignoring the context of the discussion:

The perception of the self BY the same person as it relates to SELF-WORTH.

Something I said must have truly hit a raw nerve with you. I suggest that you calm down and chill instead of letting your PMS run amok.

You're arguing apples and oranges here. Nobody is advocating a the-world-revolves-around-me attitude. We're talking about how your life shouldn't be spent worrying about what other people think of you. The two are not the same.

Yes. and u feel happy and proud when its the direct consequence of readin your posts. Dont deny it sweetie. i saw u mentioning them a few times in a triumphant way...

Case in point...notice the smirk and a wink below.

Dickson's reply certainly resonated with the-world-revolves-around-me attitude. I never said we should spent out life worrying about what people think about you. I think that we need to give a considerable amount of thought about what people think about us when we communicate with others, to achieve our desired gain from that interaction.
In light of you intention to make CC a better place, refrain from posting useless lines if you have nothing to say in response to what I wrote. Or, If you can't understand the point I am trying to make, I'm sorry that you have a difficulty understanding English.

I mention things point blank as i see it. I dont know how the hell you could interpret bland text as "triumphant"... If i were talking/speaking with expression, then maybe it's possible to say so from my tone of voice and body language... but this if fvcking text we're talking about...

and btw, "triumphant" isnt the word you're looking for   (there we go, another "smirk" for you)
Whateverla

";" + ")" also you can interpret as a "smirk".

defying emoticon convention to suit your twisted interpretation of things.

Dunno what to say liao.



I wonder what you'll interpret ":" + "p" as...

Just admit it sweetie...u dont have to go technical and boring just to defend a guilty pleasure. This isnt RWI. 

now you're talking about "guilty pleasure" ????

wait ar, let me google.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guilty_pleasure



okay, you're really losing me now.