Courtesy of DUKE

Manchester United fans...

a) don't even come from Manchester. Most of them are from out of town, or "greater Manchester" as they call it. Almost every Pakistani cab driver I saw supports Manchester United. You can tell by their car stickers. The locals support their blue collared rivals, City.

b) seem to enjoy knocking their rivals. You hardly see any Arsenal, Chelsea or Liverpool supporter abusing the other's club when there isn't a match between the three. Mancs on the other hand seem compelled to hurl insults at us whenever they get up in the morning. Why? Beats the heck out of me. They are after all the most successful and biggest club in England. Pick on somebody your own size eh?

c) are amongst the most optimistic though they tend to cross the line, entering the zone of arrogance. If you have monitored their thread, you'd notice that certain posters are already prepared for the final in Moscow. Who the heck are Barcelona anyway but some small Catalan Club with miniature players? I have to admit I admire their confidence.

d) seem to disappear the day after a loss, especially if it's to Liverpool. My lads and I put our kits on especially after a defeat. We live and die with the club, we don't feel ashamed as I assume they do.

e) in Malaysia have not been through tough times. Smooth sailing all the way. No Premiership title in 4 years? "Ohhh noooo!! tragedy, dark days!". Puhleeezzzz. What drama. It's easier to knock others when they are down but your day will come and we'll see if you switch allegiances then. Those of us who have been fans from the 80's/90's have walked the walk, and talked the talked, we are still Liverpool fans. Let's see if you can make a similar claim in the decades to come. Manchester United marketed themselves in Asia as a brand, and like any other brand, they will go out of fashion at some point. Like any other brand that goes out of fashion, they will be replaced. People think they have loyalty to a particular brand, but only if that brand maintains it's image and keeps churning out proper products.

f) are extremely quiet at games. They make most of their noise on message boards or forums such as these. I've been to the FA Cup Final viewing here between Manchester United and Arsenal. Needless to say there was a huge turn out with most fans more content with chatting to one another than singing or chanting. Maybe they should start handing out song sheets? I've also been to the one between them and us, with their official fan club in attendance mind you. Even met and shook hands with the president, Lawrence. Fans at Old Trafford are no different. Ferguson has already complained about the distinct silence. They make mock our 12th man claim but ask anyone if they feel more confident and raise their game with a veracious crowd behind them? It's common sense.

g) mostly only know one song, and not even the complete version at that. They go "glory glory man utd x 1000000000000", like a broken record. Once again, song sheets please.

h) can't bring themselves to congratulate their rivals even after a good game of football, should they end up on the losing end of course.

i) always claim they played like crap, and not that their rivals played well, when they lose. Oh, they also like to lay blame to everything else except for themselves i.e. Referee, rough play, lack of protection for Ronaldo, wind sheer factor, oxygen content in the air, number of blades of grass per square foot, etc.

Think the above pretty much sums up my thoughts. I have of course described the fans that I know personally. I'm sure there are exceptions, as boon has mentioned, but I have to call it as I see it.