Well,
i think this have occur several couples.

my situation is...He, Buddhist. Me, Christian.
At the beginning of the relationship, i once force him to become a christian.
but then, i give up coz i dun wanna him to be so difficult in choosing himself and me.
so i respect him.

now after we together more than 2 years.
he now showing up that i must become a buddhist to so we can marry.
the thing is, my parents will nvr let us marry if he is not christian. But his parents doesnt have this issue, i guess.
so he said, a girl married to a man should follow the man's religion. and must work together as husband and wife
and this is been practices since olden days.

so i argued, i said this is kinda ridiculous. How can possible you can force me to be something that i dun wanna be?
i nvr insist him to become a christian, but now he's forcing me now. There's not respect, discussion and further more.

I'm a strong minded woman, who will not be easy to change my decision.
Everything issues other than to change my religion i will be fine with it.
but why cant he just be tolerate me and stop forcing me?

if you are in the situation, wouldnt you will ask that
"IF malaysia want every citizens to become MUSLIMS, and you have no freedom to choose ur religion,
do you wanna?"

he speechless and say he will leave the country then.
i said now is not leave or leave but about the relationship.
relationship is not easy to say leave...but it's painful to make a decision that you dun wanna.

what do u all think?

Meh WTF is wrong with husband being Buddhist and wife being Christian?

As long as wife helps out (prepare offering etc) when the Buddhist/Taoism/Muslim husband need to pray then ok la... (vice versa)

Bleh... think so much for wat.

This post has been edited by ed0gawa: Feb 27 2008, 11:44 AM

Say goodbye lo.

I see there will be A LOT of problem once you married due to this.

In daily life, like or not there is no freedom of religion in married couple.

One have to give up.

And pls do not assume that his parent is ok with the switch unless you hear from them. This is as serious matter to his parent as it is to yours.

of course a girl married to a man should follow the man's religion

to you MaryWong for being a strong christian.....got to agree with ed0gawa on helping each other out...this is where mutual understanding comes in...and it is really important to continue relationships just my 2 cents...

---

Added on February 27, 2008, 11:54 amnot actually....stone age maybe....

This post has been edited by timpete: Feb 27 2008, 11:54 AM

u once force him to become a christian before. then later u say u never insists him ?
cant comment much here, i experienced this before, i got "excommunicated" in the end.

-------------
if you are in the situation, wouldnt you will ask that
"IF malaysia want every citizens to become MUSLIMS, and you have no freedom to choose ur religion,
do you wanna?"
-------------

i dun understand this part. but anyway, both of u need not convert. but maybe there are more to it, as why the religion issues start now, not when u both started the relationship. it can be someone there hantu api ur bf. i hope no hantu api on ur side.

---

Added on February 27, 2008, 12:07 pmdoesnt applies anymore. but in the bible, a woman supposed to submit to the husband, and the husband must also respect and something like that. thats all. no conversion neccessary applies here.

This post has been edited by wingcross: Feb 27 2008, 12:07 PM

it's good u dropped the expectation for him to convert to christianity. it's unfortunate tat instead, he dropped his parent's condition on u. on top of it, saying he will leave the country, sounds like u r given the final choice to convert or break-up. if u convert, does it mean he will stay and not leave the country? the whole story not told.

for my case, she insisted that the 'hubby' must be stronger/deeper in christian faith than her. coming fr a non-christian bground, it's not like i can jst pick up the bible and change my faith. she's strong-will and faith combined whereas im stubborn and realistic. even if she accepted me as i am, the church would not recognise the sanctity of our marriage. she chosed the church of cos and (quote) im the devil and going to hell (unquote)

Your bf is stupid. Never heard that a Buddhist will force a Christian to convert. Only Christian force Buddhist to convert. Because Buddhist is not a religion to begin with. I think your bf is Taoism. If your bf is Taoism, better leave him because Taoism is consider Devil in Christianity. Why sleep with a devil?

---

Added on February 27, 2008, 12:38 pmAnd I think, he just want to break up with you. Religion is just excuse. Have you slept with him?

This post has been edited by gogo2: Feb 27 2008, 12:38 PM

She's a b*tch for even saying that.

Why start calling people devil!?

You don't know about Christian meh? I went to a Christian devil casting ceremony.
They keep on casting out Taoism god such as Tua Pek Kong etc. Its a general idea
that Christian think god in Taoism is devilish.

What do you think?

MaryWong, any suggestion here shouldnt be put into ur relationship.
In any case ur going to marry him, its going to be a Buddhist-Christian.
A mix, in a simplified word. There is nothing to choose about.

I understands how a strong Christian believer would be and a Buddhist as well.
Something to share, I have a relative whom his dad is a Christian and mum a Buddhist.
They go to Church together on Sunday and to the Buddhist temple, i.e Wesak day. Its needless to ask ones to convert.

lol DEVIL ....

Got call
monkey god and zhu ba jie or not?

It's people like this that makes the world a sad, sad place.

I'm not the one who say Taoism god is devil la. Its Christian mah.
Just fyi, I'm atheist. I'm just telling the truth la. No hard feeling. Coz
we now trying to solve her problem. We need to be frank in our talk.

pls dun call her tat. the quote is not from her. if u know/read abt the bible - non-christians are labeled as devils.

she's my best fren and we're both still in good terms.

Take it or leave it...Is simple as nut.....
You & him cant force each other into religion....To me is not a big deal btwn buddhist or christian.....unless u say is malay then different case.......

For TS, a simple note* for you regarding marriage.

Buddisht never mentioned that both of couple needed to be a Buddisht in order to get married. No and never.

The law is simple, love each other, and one of the person must be a buddisht if the couple wish to get married in their way.

So, the excuse that your current bf saying that you need to convert to buddisht so that you and him can get married is a lie. Keep that in mind.

For Christian, I don't know. Perhaps, somemore could enlighten TS.

care to quote a scripture?

no.. but i can introduce u to the pastor, 10 minutes talk abt tat

anyway, to the TS - good luck. hope everything will go well on your end.

I guess you never in BnNB thread. Yes, we, the non-believers always being asked where the scripture
that say certain things which is being generalize by us. For example, where in the scripture say that
earth is flat?

The answer is, no, the scripture does not say such stupid thing. But unfortunately, Christianity is not
confined to scripture whether you like it or not. It is the community. You might disagree with me but
this is a fact.

And the fact is, we, the non-believers are always deemed to be controlled by devil, but not the devil.
But I think that's what he meant anyway.

Oops I thought she said that to your face (which justifies the insult). I apologize.

I have a couple friend where husband and wife were from different religions [not Christian] prior to their marriage, both of them agreed to convert to Christian and live happily now...

Oh really ? non-Christians are labeled a devils ? Ask them quote me which page/verse of bible said that.

In this modern age, it's kinda ridiculous to force people into the religion that they do not wish to be. To me, people who forced other people to join a religion without taking account into the others feeling/concern is like a some sort of cult society trying to gather more people for expanding their influence.

Mutual Understanding & Caring is the one that make a family whole, regardless the religion and race.

This post has been edited by Yukirin: Feb 27 2008, 03:12 PM

Religion is very complicated.
Should have make it clear before starting the relationship.

wat the hell ...nthing wrong ma..
my mum is a christian my dad is a buddhist...
i am a free thinker..
so i dun think and see there is any problem wit this kind of relationship..
we still live happyliy together..
and ps my mum is a very devoted chirstian too..

i seriously think this is not about religion issues, it must be about the "power" to decide in the relationship or perhaps pride, it's pretty rare to see Buddhist forcing Christian to convert, if you ask him what is the real reason he can't convert and i'm pretty sure he couldn't come up with a solid reasons, cause Christianity is not a religion teaching people to be bad plus it can heal people too, cheers

Simply put it, if you can't tolerate or understand each other's religious/spiritual views, forget it. You'll only regret this in the long run. The simplest solution if neither of you wants to convert is to either tolerate and understand each other's religious obligations, spiritual views and help each other with fulfilling them, or just go separate ways. If you chose the former way, remember that the problem will crop up again when you have children.

My fiance and I are both Buddhists, but even we have glitches. Why? I'm a more to Tibetan Buddhist but he's brought up in strict Theravada Buddhism (Like in Myanmar). His mother doesn't like me because I'm not "spiritual" enough in her eyes, but his father is thankfully more liberal. We made it clear from the start of our relationship though that neither of us is going to change this fact and have accepted it, even working together on this issue. As for kids, if we have any they be exposed to a healthy mix of both and they will choose themselves which path they want. And as for his mother? We chose to ignore, after all, even if I DO become "spiritual", it will still never be enough to her so no point trying to please her. After all, this is our lives, not hers.

well, i broke up with my bf of almost 4 years and one of the reason is because of religion as well. Im a buddhist and he is a christian. I dont mind him keeping his religion to himself, and me to myself. But for him, i need to convert if i want to continue on.. So i choose to leave..

Some religions were like that...compulsory to convert.
Choose a decision that makes you happy

and probably i can counter-talk him but i'm not into religious debates.

you have no scriptural basis or any other proof on that. so better don't simply claim.



there's more to scriptures than you think. Non-believers always refuse to see that. Believers themselves don't see many things.

btw there's a whole lot of reason why i don't hang around BnNB in the first place.



perhaps that's what he meant but certainly they're not called devils.

---

Added on February 27, 2008, 5:31 pm

i disagree. Religion is simple.

PEOPLE are complicated.


This post has been edited by goldfries: Feb 27 2008, 05:31 PM

as for me, i know i cant convert, so i don date christian. i'll choose not to start rather than break up in the future. but if i were to date a christian, i wont ask him to convert and he must respect my religion as well. in my opinion, even though some ppl are willing to convert, but i think there will be difference in life style. so, the couple will even need to tolerate each other more in the future.

here's my advice, being a christian myself.

buddist believes in karma law, being in 2 different religion is also due to karma. He should know this already. faith is your own free will, no one in the world can take that away from you, not even your parents.

religion is just a spiritual tool. there is no right or wrong side (religion). The key word here is "tolerance". IMO you can continue being a christian and him as a buddist, i dont see any problem a buddist cannot go to church .. only once a week rite

christians, muslims, buddist, taoism, atheist are ALL the same, why? we are all SINNERS.

hey gogo2 .. its been a while since your last post in BvsNB. we miss you LOL

peace + love ^^

This post has been edited by Royde: Feb 27 2008, 06:08 PM

Oi oi....this is not discussing about what is Buddhaism and Christianity...

She wants a good advice about how, why and do she really needs to continue the relationship and if you can't answer let other people deliver their 2 cents instead of you...Just keep yours in you pocket and use it when you really need it.

This post has been edited by antonio: Feb 27 2008, 06:32 PM

I guess he's small gas and trying to get back to you for forcing him to become a Christian at the first place. Just to see how you react.

Bolded part explain everything about your bf

Oh ya, tell him that you might leave him if he continue to show no respect on religion. He might chickened out or really leave you.

If he chickened out, means that he just small gas lar...
But if he also suggest, ok let's break up, means that this guy is not worth for you to love anymore lu
Why?
He didn't respect you, when get married? How? I scare later I will read another wife abuse news.
He don't have 100% heart on you. He might had set his backup already..

This kind of guy is not worth to love. Lucky you that he have showed his own fox tail before everything is too late for you.

Anyway, just suggest a break up with him first if he continues to show no respect.

bf sounds like a jack ass ...

The guy is guilty......

Ur parent is 100% more guilty and damm stupid for forcing son in law to christian

Oh ya, Add up a bit more.

Ask your boyfriend to go back centuries ago so that he can live happily ever after. Don't mess with future.

well, thanks for the advises.

And here's the part 2.

After yesterday disaster, this morning i talked to him thru msn.
telling him that i wont be possible to convert.
and
I WILL ALSO NEVER WANT TO FORCE anymore.

however,
he said that what he sees current relationship is for the goodness for our future.
he dun want to have a family with many issues.

p/s: My family is some kinda strict and not understanding. Especially my mum, but I always believe...I still her daughter, their sister...this relationship will nvr be break up even though i have insist to marry to a man who is not christian. Besides, Child Always WIN. IF the couple is strong.

well, i dunno how's our relationship is going on.
But, if u said He just wanna be small gas, or making excuses then it wont be possible.
Why would he wanna spend so much sorrow in the relationship just try to leave?
Direct...Straight away KILL will be better than SLOWLY DIE!!!!
aint that better?

After making so much noises, arguements...
it's some kinda WEIRD!!!

--Continue the story---

then after mentioned my intension.
he said it is just a suggestion but not to ask me to give answer or convert in NO TIME.

well, i said this how also will come in the future...

Thus, this is not a relationship that easily to give up as we really spend alot of time with each other...spending every moments together.
Is like DADAH d...>_<

then, till now...
He be quite...and i think he's trying to let it go?

P/s: yesterday he did say if i cannot convert then our relationship have no future, what for to continue a relationship that cannot get marry?

SOME KINDA JERK LA....

what i think is, RELIGION is important for me...
but doesnt have to be important to my partner to force him to become a christian.
unless, if i do so, then is to fulfill the wish from the parents.
is not my will.

being a couple of husband and wife,
he said it is important if BOTH having the same religion for better understanding for each other then oni have peaceful family.

Well, i kinda stuck here.

SAME?BOTH?
RELIGION IS a thing that LESS VISUALIZE...
a couple being together is ALL ABOUT U AND HIM/HER...
that is caring about EACH OTHER either soul and body...

THUS, he's aint really know about his religion too...this is why i stuck...coz a person some kinda free thinker why he wanna do this?

I SUSPECT it is his parents.
As he dad....wat also ask god...

even small thing also ask god...
the wife also cannot tahan d

sigh...so complicated...

but i dun mind about this,
as long as dun kacau our relationship then I EVERY THING IS OK...

he is from which church ?

---

Added on February 27, 2008, 9:18 pmthere are more things in the surface, I think. if possible dun talk this on msn, its hard to see the body language of ur bf. about religions, its very hard to say anything, but i believe are third parties involved.

This post has been edited by wingcross: Feb 27 2008, 09:18 PM

Well.. Just to share, I experience this religion problem that cause breakup.
To make it simple, I'm Catholic, she's Buddhist.
My family is those that rarely go church as if Christian just the name of our religion
Her family is very religious Buddhist that follow all sort tradition and belief.
Everything went well, till the days her parents found out I'm Christian.
Objection, arguement, conflicts... Turn our relation badly.
My gf choose to leave me, I let go willingly.

i have alot of friends their parents 1 christian another 1 buddist... i think its ok ler...

Well just because it's like that doesn't mean it's OK. it's just that some of them don't care about how to follow their religious teachings.

Just because one proclaims to be Christian (or any religion for that matter), doesn't mean what he / she practices is what's right or true.

Same la, plenty of people claim to be X religion but actually say only.

---

Added on February 27, 2008, 9:57 pmoh btw guys, this is NOT the thread for religious discussion.

this is NOT the thread for anyone to come in and start name calling the guy, Mary or her parents.

this is NOT the thread for bashing religion.

now stick to the point. either learn to give good / proper / sound advice or don't post at all. now keep with it.

This post has been edited by goldfries: Feb 27 2008, 09:57 PM

my advice is simple: since ure a christian, do spend some (more) time with the bible, understand it (in your own way) and u will find the answer there. try to enlighten your parents, your bf or any1 else with wat u would find, and with that, u all might have a common understanding.

my bf is catholic and i am buddhist. neither of us intend to convert and neither did we try to influence each other to convert. it's really not a big problem, esp when neither of us are very religious in the first place lol.

anyway u just need to work in out between each other. if neither can accept, then no point anymore. its bye bye

In what theory or forsaken story that tell your bf that if convert, will have a good future bla bla??

If converting a religion that gives RM1 mil per day, I'll convert. (Why not? People are more realistic nowadays. Infact, we should be. Else, where you'll end up to?)

Oh ya, some guy are a bit ego where they don't want to trash their repu. So they find a valid excuse and said that you didn't convert bla bla... and leave you. As you know, gossip power are strong enough to kill your mood and lifestyle if you're vunerable to it.

I agree.

This post has been edited by Raikkonen: Feb 28 2008, 09:08 AM

i think the good future tat TS's bf mentioned is means less conflict o argue for tis kind of issues.. not as wat u think la..

dear TS,
I think ur bf hv his own plan for this relationship.. so u hv to prepare for the worse case (touch wood).. n for tis kind of case not to say tat a third party may involve, maybe in tis 2 years time he didnt think of tis religion issue before but now both of u r talking abt getting marry n become a real life partner so he wil thinking more deep inside n further up.. n maybe bcoz of some words tat u hv said hv make him wake up..

dear TS
sorry to hear abt the dilemma you are in

but kudos to you for sticking to your religion n beliefs..unlke some ppl i knwo who give in easily to their bfs

altho husband n wife having different religion might pose some problems in the future..for e.g. whose religion shud ur children folo?
but then again,if both party are understanding enough and can support each other...i m sure it will work out!
true love should be able to withstand all obstacles rite?

gd luck to you

well, Christian always insisted their couple to be in the same religious... it same goes to muslims (Islam)
but in muslims case, no matter you are the bride or the groom, you must be a muslim if you want to marry your couple.
in Christian side however not so strong in this kind of things la... except for Catholics they kind of have a strict rules like Islam...

anyway back to your case, you mention that your parents wouldnt agree if you marry non-Christian, so its quite simple here, basically you cant marry him unless he become a Christian...

he mention that girl must follow the man religious, this is totally full of crap... religion is there to control human's animal nature... if there are no this kind of laws or control, human will be equals to animals...
so what i would like to say here is no matter in what kind of religion you are basically you are praying to God, it just we call Him in a different names...

leave the country? different religion married I feel doesnt need to leave the country la... unless if the bride/groom is muslims and you want him/her to change religion to others...
because here if your are already a muslim you definitely cant change your religion...

---

Added on February 28, 2008, 4:46 pm=.= wat?
no such things...

This post has been edited by ken811: Feb 28 2008, 04:46 PM

is that hard to negotiate with him?
for me, i'm a buddhist, if i got a christian girlfriend, i won't force her to become buddhist, is her choice anyway
if your bf is muslim, then different story in malaysia :rolleye:

IMHO any kind of religion doesnt matter...
all is the same... all pray to above, God, Allah, Yahwe, or whatever names others call Him...

religion is just a NAME, sort of like to group people and make it easier to spread rules, laws, etc that to make HUMAN not equals to animals...

anyway, God wont give answers even how many times you ask Him...
He will only give you choices, and you decide it by yourself...

i am muslim and my lovely person is buddhist........hehehehe....3 days ago she call my hp and say the word RINDU hehehe

P:S i am not really good in english thats why look like berterabur here

w0w... strange.. If i hvnt followed ur story, i thought u would be 'her'.. lolz..

Same thing happen except it wasnt me; it was between my fiance & his crazynurse-ex-gf.. (like freaking creepy..)
He is Buddhist, she's catholic.. So they both were forcing each other to convert.. hahaha.. Anyways, they dated for bout 3 yrs then split just like that bcuz of religion.. Then 1 yr later, he meet me.. 2 yrs on, we're now getting married this year. I'm a free thinker who believes in Christian and Buddhist.. So i don't care too much when he stop me from converting to christianity, i seldom pray anyways..

Conclusion? Follow ur brain and not ur heart.. I know u dated very long and its good and all, but if either of u cannot accept that to each keep own religion.. this will be getting u nowhere.. unless both of u and ur families can managed to see that its okay to be of mixed marriage.. or who knows wat the future holds? You might end up meeting someone who deserves u.. who wont force u to do things u dont wanna do? Do u really want that in a husband?

Don't be influenced of what he say leave country and all that.. that's call emotional blackmail so dont bend to tat.. well, good luck.. it's ur life decision, nobody can stop u from what u want.. it's ur call

@TS (MaryWong)
sorry malas wan to read the other pages

just wanna let u know that somebody hv the same situation wif u but they gt married and still happily rite nw
its my fathers fren, my fathers fren wife is a christian while he is a buddhist
i nt sure how they manage to get married but rite nw both of them still uphold their own religion, their children is free to choose wheter they wan to be a christian or a buddhist

if u wan to get married, i think will be a problem since u said that ur parents cant accept thier in-law to be a non christian
u'll just hv to slowly approach ur parents wif ur bf, let them know each other better
mayb in the future ur parents will accept him as a buddhist
actually we ar considered a free country in religion accept involving islam, u know lar to hv convert in order to get married coz islamic country mah (a MUST, COMPULSARY)
but for the others u ar free to choose mah

for another example
my frens gf is a christian, he's a buddhist
they've been dating for 12 years ad, both of their parents hv already accepted them
they are the longest couple among my frens, just hv to wait for the wedding nia
ehhehehhe

approach ur family slowly, dont rush
in the future, who knows mayb ur parents will accept him

My dad's a non-believer (my late grandma's a Buddhist) and my mom a Catholic. They've been happily married for 31 years.

When you're in a relationship, it's all about you and your partner, not the religion. God wants you to accept and believe in him, not to force you to convert into a religion you don't want to believe in.

Talk to him again and I hope one day he'll understand.

Good luck!

I disagree with that. Religion is complicated and people are complicated too. Religion is make up by human being's point..so why religion is simple?since is make up by human?they make up religion thingy and makes human life uneasy. Life is easy for us but we think too much and makes life uneasy to us.

IMO if you guys cant even agree at this point about religion, its not gonna be easy in the future. Even if you manage to compromise about this, what about the future? Your children? etc etc

u dont have to be a buddhist to marry a buddhist

where in the world did he get that from?

and u dont have to necesarily be a christian to marry a christian, the only con is maybe u cant have a real church wedding.. not like some religious group of ppl are going to come after u and catch u for adultery and all that.. sigh

Damn why do people make such a big fuss about religion, I guess from my point of view if you 2 are that deeply in love you 2 can definitely settle this out. Can you 2 give up your religions or accept each other's religion differences and practices???

As a Christian, I would strongly advise you to pray to God. He will guide you, lead you, wherever you wanna make a decision.

IMO, I don't like I & C in some way(but not absolutely hate) because :
Christian = Call other god as evil, shows no respect to other people's religion.
Islam = Label other non-believer in a very bad word, I forgot what is it though.
Buddha= Never say other god's bad thing. "sek jek si hong, hong jek si sek"

All good religion , be it Buddha, C & I taught people to be a good person. Why let religion separate the 2 of you?

If I am your bf, and I like you truthfully, I won't care you are a Christian. But I think the main problem lies on your family, who don't allow their daughter to marry a non-Christian right ?

---

Added on March 6, 2008, 11:29 pmHow does the god guide/lead you ? Call to you handphone ? I don't like this kind of advise when people are asking for a more practical solution. NOT HELPING AT ALL!

Actually it all depends on what you want ? Choose the way you or both sides think are the most beneficial to both sides. E.g. wanna respect your parents decision, don't want to make them angry or sad, losing a daughter after so many years rising her etc... OR ask your parents, this is the guy I love, I will make my own decision. This is not China in 19th century!

This post has been edited by Yeapy: Mar 6 2008, 11:29 PM

a same religion is a must for me...i don want conflict after marrid

hai.. i am a married woman... marriage is somethin both side should share.. i don have experience with this pro but my advice is that u give urself a chance and think; will the relationship last after marriage... its a big step.. this is a very major pro but there is a solution.. a must for a woman to follow her husbands religion after marriage is somethin which is left out in this generation... he cant force you... as u said u did it once and he is doin it back to you.. don bring parents into this pro.. they can only say things nw as later on it only matters u both...try talkin with him again... if he insists then u stand up ur deci.. i am sure he will understan if he reli loves u... good luck gal...

sigh i smell religious flames coming

I'm a Christian myself, and frankly, I don't like the "don't worry, leave it to God" thing either.

Want something done? God gave you hands, feet and brains. Go do it yourself.


Don't be so lazy.

Think practically, and realistically.


Religion is without a doubt a deciding factor for many relationships in our culture. So deal with it.

If you can clearly see it's not gonna progress anymore, why holding on? Be smart and move on.

try posting advice without having to hit at other people's given advice, especially when you have no idea where they're coming at.

anyway she's advicing from a Christian POV. and from my POV her advice might even be the best here, just that not everyone (especially non-Christians) understand her reply.

i won't elaborate, lest it turns into religious discussion.

edited : there will be religion based advices. there will be also the non-religious based advices. the choice is up to TS. if you have a disagreement, you could learn to put it in better way. thanks.

This post has been edited by goldfries: Mar 9 2008, 03:10 AM

goldfries being an understanding man here . I do respect all the religions. Never be too subjective. TS opened this thread as she needs some advices and yet she is a Christian. Like what you described above, don't you think you are irrespect of her as well? Never use human being mentality as to compare with any God, either Christ, Buddha. Since TS started the thread as religion is her main point, that's why people may use religion pov to encourage her, why can't? I don't mind if somebody flame me, but definitely not the religion. Be mature, religion itself has no fault, never blindly put a judgement before you really understand in depth. TS will definitely know what I meant. I didn't give my personal advices as I think I am still young, unmarried, inexperience. The decision is always by TS's hand. Good luck girl!




This post has been edited by jactval: Mar 9 2008, 03:05 PM

why dun ur bf become a christian 1st and then after
2 years you 2 become buddhist 2gether and follow this formula every 2 years.

sometimes i wonder whether human being dumb or god dumb or the religion itself ....

ps: why people always drag their god into their problem....

ya things won be settle when bring god inside.. that doesnt mean i don trust in god.. he does exist.. he decide what he wants to do up there.. we might pray to him to be feel a bit peacuful.. but things down here we settle ourself..

why dun ur bf become a christian 1st and then after
2 years you 2 become buddhist 2gether and follow this formula every 2 years.----- good idea

generally humans have problem follow the laws / rules set, regardless set by who.............even those set by the deity they believe.

Ok, my friendis a all-time Christian, strong believer. She is the President of Christian Fellowship in our school. During her younger days, she only dated one Christian boy. In the end, they broke up after 8 years. 3 years later, she marry a man. This man is a strong Buddhist. Family also strong Buddhism. Yet, they still lived together happily. Despite the husband family is strong buddism, they respected her beliefs. During Chinese New Year reunion dinner, they still let her say her prayers before the meal.

This is called understanding and not making one another bend and break themselves for you.

Not so easy like you said. Can you tell me what religion for their future kids?

well....sad to see that.
i'm a pure buddhist (not taoist)
i'm saying with my own perspective...

buddhist won't force ppl into believing their faith....and never said that husband busshist, then wife must be buddhist... and we do respect other religion as well, never say other religion 'devil' or whatsoever..

for christian, if i'm not mistaken, praying to statue is a sin. and religion other than christianity is 'wrong-wrong-wrong' and would be punished in judgement day (pls correct me if i'm wrong....i do attend quite some number of christian bible class.....but it's quite a long time ago...although i'm buddhist, but i do learn from other religion as well...no hard learning what's good for us, right?)

conflict will arise for the whole life.....now u wanna convert each other to ur own religion.....(as a fact....most of the time, christian always tend to be very strong in this matter..)...have u ever think of later when u get married, when ur mother/father in law's praying, will u feel hard about it and wanna change their religion ? condemn about their religion? saying that they're praying devil? (that's what always happen in the society and causing disharmony of the family...) u'll have at least 20-30 years to be with ur husband and his family....can u tolerate their religion without condemning and ordering a change in them?(it's hard right? cause praying other than GOD is a sin for christianity and u don't want ur beloved to be punished in judgement day)

what about after getting married (with still having different religion)....who will ur children follow ? u would want to children to be christian (cause u think it's the right thing to do). however, ur husband would want ur children to be buddhist, so does his parents....and conflicts come again~~......never ending conflict and conflict unless both of u understanding enough and respect each other in ur relationship.....

in religious matter.....LOVE JUST AIN'T ENOUGH!!! understanding and not making one another bend and break themselves for you is the key word to have a happy relationship. as i can see that BOTH of u r not understanding enough.....good luck to u my dear.

This post has been edited by Sharvyn: Mar 11 2008, 10:59 AM

You're a Christian, you have a relationship with God. You know what the Bible says about being unequally yoked when you marry a non Christian.

I think the question is, who's more important to you? Your non-christian boyfriend whom you shouldn't have got yourself involve with in the first place or God who knows absolutely everything about you and love you enough to die for your sins.

God is a God of grace, He gives you choices. He gave you what He thinks is right, but the choice is still yours.

I agree...coz i have many friends which is mix religion which some of them are buddhist with christian or chinese with indian but all have their own life...exp: mom is christain while dad is buddhist and they still leave happily ever after....as long u love him and he love u.....Love is stronger then any religion.......Think bout it.....

just like the games, the power of love always defeat the GODs..hehe

i have the same situation with you .. haih
i have once wan to run away from this situation and i also have tried to go to her church for around 1 years to understand the christian. But now i we didnt talk about our religion ady, she do her christian while i am still buddhist, i gues me and her will be peace until we decided want to married...zzz...i cant imagine what will happen when we going to married...lol.. but her mother is christian while her father not lo.. her mother dun like me because i m not christian while her father ok with me..haha..lol.. guess i am mabit better den u

You shouldn't have said this to her, you are implying or giving her pressure to quit on the relationship and you are not helping her.

wah....
its about heart and family. its hard to determine, but for me the most importants things is bout both of your strength of love. May LOVE can settle you both down

TS ask for opinion, that's what she gets.

some people put relationship first. others put God first.

CutieLynette's advice isn't wrong. to those who are not of the same religion, that may SEEM inappropriate but have you ever wondered that your advices are also deem inappropriate to those who have religion?

Advising others to quit a relationship isn't wrong either. This thread is an open thread, I would that all of you maintain some respect towards other's given advices before i close the thread.

After so many years, it is still sad to see that people always misconcept this:

Buddhist is not a religion, it is a teaching to guide you to lead a happy life, simple without 7 biggest sins of human.. greed, hate......
But misconcept makes that people think that we pray to certain god, is a buddhist..

Despite what people say, it is very shameful to say that, taoism is not really a religion after all.. if you read through the tao books and teaching, it is a way to respect our ancestor; and i believe that; it is ok to use incense to pray them; as a sign of respect, after all without our ancestor we will not be here either...

Guan Yu, Kuan Yin, or any other statue placed in temple; they are once ancestor that respected by all the people..
as i see, people always bring the issues of religion, is simple; because they don't understand it and simply choose to believe in certainty, yet not understand it...

christian and islam are beautiful religion, both of them are very well in creating a good human; but you see, during the era of christianity, how many church had modify the bible and to earn for their sake? I dare to say the bible originally is for people to believe in good way, without any extra issues like saying other religion as devil.. it's the man that changes it.. jesus himself never blame others for not believing him, instead, he proves it and he showed us how beautiful is god in christian..

and i do believe 1 thing, if you are a strong religion, so what if you don't do good deeds? you ain't going to heaven just because you pray for god but you kill and harm others...

if religion is an issue in relationship, then it's not worth it, after all it is not religion that creates the massiveness, it is the people who misunderstand religion that creates this.. religion should be beautiful, and not argument in it..

if people can understand their own religion very well, it will not create chaos even in a relationship... so i don't see religion as a real issue anyway, it's just the people who wants control over their partner create it.. same goes to family..

P.S: if you find my quoting on religion is against your belief, don't take and feel offended, it is what i feel for religion; and if you are a strong believer and understand your religion very well, you wouldn't shout like a devil

well. in the end it is whether u guys can continue anot?
n plus the factor of religon thinggy it does affect ur future,
never know that one day u guys might be arguing over such a thing.
if ur a stong christian then knowing that ur parents will surely say no to a non then why did u start the relationship?
*im not saying that im against any religon here*
it applies to all.

hi

i have same situation with u too..i'm christian n she's a buddist.

actually i didnt force her to convert but she willing to go to church wit me i already satisfied

just pray to God she will accept him one day..anyway we r getting married tis yr

just pray to God ask for direction if u feel he is the rite one then follow God direction


cheers

yes Buddhist is started as a teaching at early days same goes to Christian and Islam
before it became a religious Christian is a teaching of Jesus while Islam is a teaching of Muhammad...
but now days all is considered as a religion.

Buddhist is similar to Hinduism in which they have lots of God and Goddesses

anyway to TS slowly find your soul mate, he wont be far away...

TS

i m buddhist while my bf is christian.. we hv been together for 7yrs n i would say we nvr hv a single arguement in tis issue (religion).. his mother is a strong christian believer while my parents r strong buddhist believer but they nvr put pressure on us..

when he pray, i will juz sit aside til he finish lo.. then i will join him back..
when i pray, he will help in preparing those barang-barang..
i think is more to a respect n tolerate to each other..

to us, religion is not an issue as long as we love each other, tats it..
if u luv him, u hv to accept his everything.. his frens, his family......his religion.. if he luv u, he will accept ur everyhting too..

cheers..

TS, my 2 cents.. ( i myself a christian)

If he ask you to convert, then ask him to forget about the relationship. He should respect your beliefs. And, vice versa if you ask him to convert too.

Marriage is between you and him. Do not care about your family or his family's objection to the marriage. If both of you listened to your parents, that means your love is not strong. If you love him, you should not listen to your parents, and he too, should not listen to his parents.

There is no big fuss about this. Your bf is a buddhist, you're a christian. Both of you can eat anything you want(except some buddhists who can't eat beef).. It will be complicated if a relationship involves muslim and non-muslim..

You can go to church, and if he wanna follow, it's alright. You can follow him go to temple as well, but if you don't want to take the colok, it's alright. You can eat free noodles and coffee the temple while waiting for him...
I have many friends whom one of their parents is christian and buddhist. They still live harmoniously, with buddhist statue and Jesus' picture in their house.

Based on your part 2 story, it appears that your relationship with him was hopeless as he doesn't want to compromise and insisted that you convert to buddhism.

have u tried alpha? its a common ground area where non believers come to dicuss and understand what christianity is all about.no pressure.just dinner,video and sharing:) maybe u should try to understand why he and his family are into christianity in the 1st place

---

Added on March 18, 2008, 5:28 pmyeah sadly most ppl take it for granted and count it as religion; it shouldnt be so but a relationship instead...and ull find life more meaningful

This post has been edited by kimmie: Mar 18 2008, 05:28 PM

At very first, why bother talking about religion?

Religion is nothing, it's just a forms of name.

Don't tell me you all are religious, if you are, you won't make a single darn sin.

But all of us are sinner, isn't it?


-----

Ok, just for god sake, can't you just get married but stick to your own religion? If HE want you pray to chinese god, just pray lor, if YOU want him to pray to christ, then pray lor..

Do this both stuff can kill your family or yourself issit?

So the important issue here is understanding and respect, not about religion. Heck care with it..

Well, but not for muslim though >< ( I'm not racist, just when you converted into this one, you must do what you suppose to do or GET PUNISHED by them... ) and, they forced us to convert especially when get married, which is totally craps..

No freedom = suck
Freedom = the way of Musou!