Each relationship bring additional emotional experience and burden as well. It is not ease to move out. So people tend to prefer younger partner.

It applied both to men and women

However, men have the advantages of time as its key asset value (material plus experience) increase over time.

Meanwhile, time is against women as fertility rate is declining

That the reason older men with young wife is happening while opposite is rare.

I do hv friends that married older women up to 8 years gap. Yet, these ladies are all pre35. Even managed to hv 3 kids.

This post has been edited by abelyap: Oct 20 2025, 08:02 AM

Open secret.

Man take older women 101% is "POWER & MONEY" but no man will admit it.

Serious, not shame n you are lucky!

*First

Friend wife is 8 years older that him.

Business Start Up Fund, Car, House all his wife provide.

Now, he also have mistress who are beautiful & young.

*Second

A girl who are from superb rich family but she is 150cm 100kg.

She like me but Sorry, Im with dignity.

After that, one of my friend want to know her.

So, I just intro then few months they married.

This girl also provide A to Z.

Now, he also have mistress who are beautiful & young.

*Third

Friend wife is 4 years older that him.

His superior, provide A to Z.

Then in a car accident, his wife pass away.

He is the driver & cause.

Now, he also remarried an girl who are beautiful & young.

After remarried, wife side no more connect with him.

*Forth

Own story.

We love each other but "MALAYSIA RELIGION LAW".............

Last, to all girl please use brain to think man with "BRAIN & MONEY" who need an older women please!? Bring mom out!?

Its same to all boy, women with “RATIONAL BRAIN & MONEY" who need an useless man please!?

Why a lot of people not married please!?

2 main reason

1. PRINCE OR PRINCESS SYNDROME

2. BIG HEAD

Marriage to last forever

*LOVE, Commitment, Communication, Compatibility, Mutual Respect, Mutual Support, Shared Values, Trust and Understanding.

*Both individuals to operate as a team with shared goals and responsibilities, where control is not an issue.

From my observation and chats with female peers (mostly urban Chinese women in their 30s), most aren’t in a rush to get married or have kids anymore.

Partly because of past failed relationships; many feel it’s better to stay single than date or marry the wrong men. Being in a relationship is exhausting, and they’ve had enough of crap from men.

Another big factor is that having children is expensive, plus the extra burden from in-law expectations and the complications that come with pregnancy.

On top of that, many are just content with where they are—happy being single, having a stable career, and enjoying time with friends.

I also have married female friends in their thirties who have chosen to remain childless.

Hence, the fertility clock that used to scare women doesn’t seem so scary anymore.

Given this sentiment among urban Chinese women, urban Chinese men may face a harder time finding girlfriends or marrying women who want to have children, unless they consider other races or foreigners.

Yeah, that’s the thing I’m wary of.

I’m highly educated, have strong earning power, and own assets, investments, and passive income. I want to date men who are equal to or more capable than me, so together we can multiply our resources (1 + 1 > 2). If I have kids, I want them to grow up in a well-off family. If I stay single, I want to fully enjoy financial freedom and abundance.

Dating younger men usually doesn’t bring such benefits, unless he:
- is driven, disciplined, and determined
- is loyal and faithful
- has a growth mindset

Otherwise, it’s like having a 小白脸 (toy boy) or a 陈世美 (Chen Shimei, a two-faced, opportunistic man who betrays the woman who once loved him) rather than a partner who can grow together for a lifetime.

The chat likely had wrong audience. Why not chat with male instead?
At the end of the day, marriage is between male and female.

Between, what do u expect the unmarried female to answer? Desperate to marry?

Sis, you know A to Z but you still "BIG HEAD"!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I dont think so.........

I know a lot of girl who are above 30 give free to "SUPERIOR MAN".

You missed my point. I'm answering your earlier statement (as quoted) about women's fertility.

Statistically, the trend for women to get married and reproduce has been going downwards for years now. It's a current fact, regardless of whom I chat with.

Note:
I will only respond/reply to logical arguments and rational discussion, not to trolls, irrelevant, or sidetracked replies.

I seriously dislike it when people shit on my thread.

I heard u. But need to differentiate perception vs scientific fact. Fertility declined over age is real.

Marriage actually is a protection for women. Meanwhile child is for motherhood / fatherhood experience.

Unless u plan to date but not to marriage or having kids. Else, why not think from POV of male?

Man with high education, great earning power and good EQ would have plenty option. Do he need a partner of similar characteristics? Or he need someone that can complement him?

At my current age, I would not date an older woman cos I am already an old uncle in my 50s.

I remember seeing TS tread about “how to date a rich man” some years ago. At that time, I thought TS was already a career woman in her 30s but she was only in her last 20s then and is now in her mid 30s.

Assuming what TS says is true, she is considered to be a confident and successful career woman, earning a good salary and already has her own fixed assets.

She is looking for someone who can match her in areas of financial and intellectual wealth and share common interest. Her partner should also be of course, fit and healthy and the list goes on.

Actually, I am surprised as I thought that TS should have been married by now as her previous partner was some C-Suite officer earing a good salary and they have been together for quite some time. But I suppose, sometimes life has a different path for us.

The issue is not about whether a guy will date an older woman but also would an older woman date a younger guy. And the key question if what is the purpose of dating this older woman.

If it is just for physical, of 10 guys, more than 9 will not say No, cos that is the nature of men.

If it is for a long term commitment with view of marriage, then this depends on the younger guy financial situation. If TS is 35, the men that she is looking for is about 30 to 33 and is guy about making it to middle management position with salary range of about RM10K to say RM15K.

I assume that TS is making much more from the way she describes herself.

Is that enough for a Man to consider starting a family. Well this depends of course on the type of woman the Guy is dating.

If the woman expects the guy to pay for everything, then sadly, its probably not enough unless the guy already has bought a house and the car is fully paid off. But TS has described herself as a self made woman who will not hesitate to contribute to the household.

So that should be enough but this is also depended on the Man. He must be self confident and not be intimidated by a woman who earns more than him. Cos society does expect the man to earn more than the wife and the man does lose some self respect when the Wife earns more than him and contributes more to the household.

Of course, going out with a younger man with view of marriage will also get some resistance from the in-laws, both from the Man and the Woman. The MIL will not be supportive and will ask the Son to date a younger and more fertile woman and the Woman own parents would also ask the daughter to marry someone who is more financial stable.

All this has to be taken into consideration as TS is no longer a spring chicken. At her age, she should consider dating multiple man at the same time to see who is the best candidate before eventually going exclusive.

At the mid-30s, there isn’t much time to waste dating man and wasting time going outside. Once past 36, market value starts to drop rapidly. By 38, the choices are even more narrow and by 40, the train has left the station.

I know quite a number of career women who are quite pretty but due to choices that they made, either to focus on the career or dating the wrong man, many are single and in the late 30s to 40s to 50s.

Of course, some do find their life partner at a later age but that is very rare.

Good luck to you TS

From advocating/bragging of/about marriage to wealthy partner to now, relatively speaking, settling for men in their 30s who are far less financially established.

How the mighty have fallen. Time is everyone’s hubris.

Yes, I'm aware of it. However, age is just one of the factors affecting fertility. I’ve known a former colleague who had three miscarriages in her mid- to late twenties, and a friend’s friend who had her first child at 48. I also know couples who got married in their twenties, tried IVF several times, but still couldn’t have children even after five years of trying. At the same time, I know couples who, despite being in their late thirties, have twin daughters.

After seeing and hearing about such variations, I think fertility depends on both a woman’s physical health and age. For women concerned about their age, options like ovum-freezing provide additional choices for the future.

Speaking from my own experience with those men, in their opinion, having plenty of women around (quantity) doesn’t automatically mean quality.

Sure, younger women in their twenties might have higher fertility, but does that make them good wives or mothers? Are they emotionally mature and financially stable enough to raise children and take care of their husbands and in-laws, or are they still figuring things out as young women and might get restless or gatal in their thirties?

As for what kind of women such men like, it really varies by personality, but at the core, they tend to prefer women who add value to their lives.

You would be much wiser than you sounded here if you had fact-checked.

I did write in my Oct 2024 thread about why women should consider dating ordinary guys, based on my unfavourable experiences with top 10% guys.

You do have good memories. Yes, I was with my ex-fiancé for eight years. We didn’t proceed to marriage due to his health issues. He called it off.

Your analysis is spot on. There’s a lot to consider before entering an exclusive relationship, especially with a younger man who’s less established or less confident. Relationship dynamics can get complicated when in-laws and societal expectations come into play.

I think the “market” is always there for women, but the objective of a relationship shifts as we age.

Realistically, if a woman in her 40s or 50s is dating primarily with the hope of having children, her chances won’t be high. But if she’s dating for companionship or shared experiences, there’s definitely still a market. The key is positioning oneself correctly to target the right kind of relationship and partner.

Personally, I’m at a crossroads. This year, I haven’t started seeing other men or using dating apps yet, because I’m still holding out for that analyst guy. Some things happened between us, so I'm waiting for a clear answer.

Lastly, I really appreciate the time you took to write such a detailed reply. It helps me consider more things from an older man’s perspective, and this is exactly the kind of discussion I enjoy having. Thanks a lot.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Oct 21 2025, 07:30 PM

i was suspended for 14 days because of my comment .

Me too, you are not alone!

There’s a quote that says, “There is more than one path to reach the mountaintop.” I believe that’s quite true. Here’s an alternative way of thinking that leads to a similar conclusion — just through a different path.

Point 1: Standard Deviation in Life

We all know that nothing is ever perfect. In construction, a structure remains safe even when a beam is off by ±50 millimeters; a batch of goods is still acceptable within a ±5% margin.

The same principle applies to people. A few years of age difference doesn’t make someone less compatible or less capable of love.

If we can accept small variations in the things we build, why can’t we accept them in the people we meet? In this case, the “parameter of deviation” is age.

There is a parallel saying that resonates with this modern adaptation of the standard deviation. In ancient times, there was a quote stating, “The living things are flexible; the dead things are rigid.” This further reinforces the point — we must remain flexible where we can.


Point 2: Patterns Across Generations

The patterns of the present generation often reflect those of the older and younger generations — and vice versa.

If there are men of great character within my generation, there will also be women of similar quality within the same group. This reflects a polarity view — seeing what is possible, even when it’s not yet visible in our surroundings. If such qualities exist today, they must also exist among both older and younger generations. Through a cross-generational view, we can observe what is possible across the past, present, and future.

If this observation holds true (at least to me personally), then it seems premature to conclude that all men and women of the younger generation are immature.

Mature young minds do exist — perhaps fewer in number, but present nonetheless.

*

Based on these two points — tolerance for age deviation and the existence of maturity across generations — the conclusion arrived:

It may be worth giving younger pursuers a fair chance.

Depends how old she looks like, if her age doesn’t match with actual looks, just stay far far away.
About age 38-45s is maximum age for me.
Whoever more than 45s not intrested. Make sure she had dated previously, if pure single so problematic one.

This post has been edited by Benefon: Nov 9 2025, 01:31 PM

Seriously, my advice to all those career minded woman out there...Dont get too attached to your career lar...today you are a big time director...in another 20 - 30 years from now, the company can just ask you to leave with 1 months' notice...