I noticed that the guys that I've been chatting with don't ask me if I know how to cook anymore. Just curious if they've finally accepted the fact that most girls dunno how to cook/ don't want to cook 🤣 or guys would rather cook themselves as a lot of guys know some basic cooking skills these days. Would love to hear yr thoughts on this.

This post has been edited by parisiansky: Jun 15 2025, 03:18 PM

Eat out better. Cook how many dish you can cook since each dish require some special ingredient.

Eat out can have more variety unless the the dish that crave for is easy to cook or cheaper to cook etc herbal egg

I think its not that it don't matter but more like its not the top priority. especially if the girl is working too.

if they guy expect you to cook and to work then it will be a red flag.
likewise, if you don't work and don't know how to cook simple meal, it will be a red flag too coz then wth are you doing with your time?

its just chatting. to marry or not is so far ahead yet.

People at different phases will give you different ways of viewing the issue. I'll leave these observations from my angle:-

In our teens — we have one set of mentality.
In our young adult age — we have another set of mentality.
In our middle age — we will have yet another set of mentality.

At different phases of life, our priorities shift.

Someone who once proudly said, “I will never cook,” might one day find themselves willingly preparing a meal — not because they gave in to expectations, but because they wanted to offer something from the heart. Especially when it's for someone they truly care about — like the younger generation asking for a home-cooked meal instead of something available from dining out.

Scenes like these — I’ve seen them unfold many times. People evolve. The one who once resisted cooking out of rebellion against tradition may one day cook with intention — not out of duty, but out of choice. And this transformation - from expectation to offering - is something worth observing whether in men or women. When it is no longer about “what I must do,” but “what I wish to do for someone who matters,” - the act becomes meaningful.

What you do not do now, you may one day do with joy. What others ask of you today, they may forget tomorrow. But what you do willingly for those you cherish — that endures.

So when it comes to the question, “Do you cook?” — if he or she doesn’t bring it up, just let nature unfold when the time is right. And if someone does ask, be honest: “I don’t cook at present.” That’s just where you are right now.

Being able to cook is not essential at the beginning. But when kids comes into play, either one of you or both would wish you'd pick up some skill to ensure your kids eat well and eat healthy. You can eat healthy outside, but healthy eating = money.

For me cooking isn't about my partner, but more about picking up some of my preferred dishes that my mum cooks. If most lose interest in cooking these days, soon all the good recipes will die along with it. For most, nothing beats mum's cooking

Lol I'm not planning to have kids so 1 less prob for me. But it's kinda refreshing to see someone willing to pick up some culinary skills in order to continue enjoying mum's dishes. I can relate to that. My dad's dishes may be ordinary but he always cooks them with love ❤️

Anyone good!?

May I learn!?

I learn to cook so i can eat food i love and stop eating maggi for life

It's not big issue but at least bare minimum. I am a lazy guy so I prefer one pot meals.

Vincenzo plate
Hermann
Orsara recipes
Cooking for peanuts

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jun 18 2025, 12:35 PM

I do most of the cooking. Simply just because I cook better.

Otherwise it's eating out.

Weekend meal prep is a collaborative affair. Just tend to prep more so weekdays can have quick meals without too much fuss if don't feel like eating out.

But honestly, and this might rub girls the wrong way, they are getting lazy. Prefering to just GRAB your meals than actually making something so their cooking skills don't get developed and refined. Not having time to cook is not the issue.

A girl not being able to cook beyond Maggi mee is a red flag. And it's not how well you cook, it's the effort you make to make something that counts. At least offer to cook even when you can just GRAB something.

I don't speak for most girls but I feel the need to highlight to u that there are ppl who have to OT till 8pm/ 9pm. After braving the long ass traffic jams, it'd be around 10pm by the time they reach home. These ppl are probably too mentally/ physically exhausted to cook anything. It's not that they don't wanna make an effort to cook. It's just that work can be extremely draining sometimes.

Yes.

She must know how to cook. At least some dishes.

If dont know, then should learn. "Dont want to cook" is a red flag in a girl for me.

I myself as a male knows how to make some dishes.

Yes there are those who work like that.

But you can try to cook once a while during weekends and holidays.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jun 18 2025, 02:12 PM

Perfectly understand that situation. But, you don't work everyday to 10pm do you? If you do, you have more serious issues to deal with then.

Dunno wor... U should ask my female friends abt that

There is this thing call 1 whole week meal prep.

If a girl is always constantly OT and not available, that is a red flag to me. Totally no no.

It tells me they priotise career above relationship and having a family.

Yes I have seen and talk to girls like that. I just see them one time to confirm my suspicion then move to the next girl. Give them chance to prove me wrong. Hear their side of the story.

expect cooking + share bill + working.
gender equality they want.

I don't see anything wrong with that. Some girls just want to climb up the corporate ladder as fast as men do. However when girls do this, they're seen as not prioritising their rship. But when guys do this, they're being championed, getting all the big pats on their backs. Gotta love the double standards we have here.

most girls cant cook.

5 days a week OT, some even worse 7 days a week, where got time for husband and kids?

Evsn me who is a workaholic, I tone down my working hours so that I got time for my girl because I know what is more important. Spending time vs chasing money.

How can girls not work harder when the cost of living keeps increasing and the guys they're dating keep insisting on 50-50? Not every man out there has a provider mindset, u know? When girls expect guys to pay then they're labelled as gold diggers pulak. Girls can never win, can they?

Dun expect wife to cook but prefer a wife that can cook

Find one with a provider mindset lo. It's never about looks or chemistry. I go for what personality the girl have.

I never expect my girl to pay when we goes out. But it's nice for her to pay once a while and yes I do pay most of the time.

You have no idea how long it took me to find one which lives frugally.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jun 19 2025, 12:04 AM

When you have a partner always want to stick with you, congratulation he / she love you.

When you find out your partner start to away from you with all kind of problem, reason, story, congratulation you are gone soon.

To male, please make sure you can continue make good income. If not, sad story begin.

If you are first xxx for her, congratulation she going to remember you for whole life. 99%, you are "THE PERSON I LOVE MOST".

Biggest enemy for male is money, just continue work to overcome it.

To female, please remember you cant always 18 yo but outside always with 18 yo girl ready.

Biggest enemy for female is aging, its beyond repair.

Too bad, female only will know who love them most when they are expired.

A relationship with all kind of problem, reason, story.......Serious, the link is gone. Please out now.

Easier said than done. If I give u 3 years, u also wouldn't be able to find a guy with a provider mindset for me especially in this kinda economy.

You're in the wrong circles then, my circle of friends, all the males have provider mindset. My professional life also the same, whether its business network or colleagues.

However if you're asking if they have enough to provide for you.. that's a different story la

provide is done by willingness, not coercion
I see so many guys and girls couldn't have success in their dating or relationship life because they can be too attached with their current self or where their expectations are

in a simple sense,
they think the world is fixated in just one sense
they are not willing to sacrifice their time/energy/money to explore

thanks to consumerism as well
we can be the product of our surrounding

Good to know. U better gatekeep that group of men before us, "gold diggers" find them lol

You are right. It took me almost 3 years (2 years +) to find someone able to live frugality. Able to come down to my world of living.

It's not about economy. Just be honest with the guy..Me and the girl I am seeing was being super open honest and upfront on what we want in our partner from the moment we met. No playing games, no trying to mind reading. Saves time, not romantic though. Romantic only comes after clearing out all the stuff we want from each other.

Stuff I told my girl, no yearly overseas holiday, I am on FIRE path so I want my girl to live frugally. No unnecessary spending. She is totally ok with it.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jun 19 2025, 12:19 PM

Why don't u try being honest with a guy? The moment they hear u're looking for a provider, they'll immediately assume u're a gold digger n run away. Sometimes I wonder if this is all caused by the girls who have been using them for free meals.

Do you want to date like 6 months to 1 year to know that he doesn't want to provide or would you rather get it over with on first date? I choose to get it out on first or second date.

He don't need to say it directly. You can ask what are your future plans and family? Ask do you mind if I work like donkey so that my future family have better life than me. See his response. If he can give you some plans then he is likely a provider. Then if he said nope he don't want a girl who works like a donkey, then next question you can ask them how can I make sure my family have better life than me if I don't work like a donkey.

This are just suggestion. Whether will work or not I don't know. It's very direct. Not everyone can be super direct. I learn how to be super direct thanks to my female friend. She told me don't waste each other time. Be direct and tell the guy or girl what you want. lol.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jun 19 2025, 12:55 PM

Girls value guys with high income much more than guys value girls with high income.

A high income woman normally will look for a guy who is higher income than her or at least about the same level. There are exceptions but those are rare.

A high income guy normally wont care what a girl income is. Its even normal to date much lower income girls.

What's yr point in relation to what I said?

Aiyoh. It means most guys don't look at girls income while girls look at guys income lol before deciding for a relationship.

To be honest I look at the girl income but I am OK if the girl earns like half my pay as my investment are like bringing in 2-3x my monthly pay on a monthly basis. So not big issue for me if girl is not making much.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jun 19 2025, 01:21 PM

Lol I know what it meant but it's not related to what I said. Go refer back to my post that he quoted.

The people going through this — are they working in fields like accounting or auditing?

Actually, how many occurrences of such cases are there, to be honest?
I'm just curious to know from the opposite gender's experience — is it 50%? 60%? 70%? 80%? 90%? 100%?

What was the age demographic of such males? Were they in their 20s? 30s? 40s?

And what about their place of birth?
Were they from first-tier cities, second-tier cities, or third-tier cities/towns?

I'm also keen to understand the causes, but my initial gut feeling tells me — it's partly due to past cause and effect, partly due to poor upbringing, and partly due to individual limitations.

Financial issue is one of the cause of argument among couples. So if you and your partner can settle the finance part, it remove the main cause of conflict already.

That was how I approach relationships.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jun 19 2025, 03:52 PM

Lemme try to break it down:
Generally speaking,
⬆️ Corporate ladder = ⬆️ Income

Girl POV:
See man ⬆️ Income = ⬆️ Attraction
Replace the equation...
See man ⬆️ corporate ladder = ⬆️ attraction

Man POV:
See woman ⬆️ Income ≠ ⬆️ Attraction
You get the rest...

I think you may not see the connection, perhaps because you think women climbing corporate ladder is not necessarily associated with money, but perhaps just a sense of achievement in general. In that case, you're right it's unfair, but society often works in collective thinking / stereotypes so there tends to be a skewed perception between men vs women in this context.

You were complaining about "double standards".The double standard exist because thats what society wants.

The vast majority of women consider a high income man as highly desirable. Hence a man who works hard and earn high income is lauded.

The other half of society, being men, doesnt really consider a high income woman as being extra desirable. Its probably at most "ok" and to some maybe even a red flag. Men will probably prefer nice boobs or other things vs high income.

just eat out!

Well I wouldn't wanna be with men who don't like career minded women anyway. It really says a lot about them. I prefer men who would support my career n in return, I'd support his too. Back to the topic of cooking, I think the right scenario would be the couple doing meal preps TOGETHER during the weekends. It just shows both parties are willing to make the effort together.

Well I wouldn't wanna be with men who don't like career minded women anyway. It really says a lot about them. I prefer men who would support my career n in return, I'd support his too. Back to the topic of cooking, I think the right scenario would be the couple doing meal preps TOGETHER during the weekends. It just shows both parties are willing to make the effort together.

Well I am going to be brutal honest with you. Men who wants a family will want a homey woman. If you are too focus on career you can lose your future man as what's the point he come back and there is no one for him and you only see each other on weekends.

You better be upfront about this to the men you are seeing that you will be a career oriented woman.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jun 19 2025, 06:12 PM

If one can't find a man with provider quality

1) wrong circle of friend
2) don't talk provider topic on the first date. Do u like it if guy said wanna bang u on first date?
3) if u r so rush, guy will get scare
4) u don't have the quality to get a provider

This post has been edited by jasonlim: Jun 19 2025, 10:21 PM

All married with children already la

Yeah I've always been upfront with them about this. Told them that I'm not looking for a clingy man.

Me, 101% support what ever my partner want to do.

With condition as I put her as priority, she need to do the same.

Sad story is she put me as option...........

I think that home-cooked meals by a woman is a very feminine thing... And I am not a sexist to be saying so... I would enjoy a hearty low-carb meal being made...

I can cook (and I think that both soup-making and barbecue are my favourite thing to do), but I would definitely play the role of being the handyman around the house...


I am also in favour of Ramjade's opinion and my practice is the same with the FIRE path... Seeing that we are both active in the Stock Exchange & Finance section and trading/investing...

Honestly, after going through a tough life of working since the start of my adult years, facing politics and dealing with toxic folks before, I honestly do not want my future wife to be working at all... But hey, I am all open if she wants to...

I can never understand why people like seeing and dealing with sour folks out there... I am not the type of person who'd want to deal with politics and see everyone else when I can focus on myself, my well-being, and my own money... But it's just my preference...

24/06/25 Edit Reason (1): Clarity of sentencing.
10:05PM, 24/06/25 Edit Reason (2): Clarity of sentencing.

This post has been edited by Hastebreak: Jun 24 2025, 10:06 PM

If she can cook it's a bonus. If she cannot cook it's ok. But for me the man needs to be the provider.

I aim for FAT FIRE and I am bringing her along on it. Up to her if she wants to continue working. I know I don't want. Being FIRE especially FAT FIRE give you options to work or live off one income or totally stop working.

Full of "Homewrecker & Hussy" on the streets! Who know!?

U mean you are going to pay for everything and give her an allowance if u marry? N also cook for her?

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jun 20 2025, 10:20 AM

No la. Once I reach FAT FIRE she is welcome to not work if she wants to.

We are kinda of long distance. So if I go to her place we just cook together lo.

She is earning. So what allowance. I told her will help her to invest her money under her name as she doesn't know how to invest herself.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jun 20 2025, 03:23 PM

Did you need gay partner but play safe please!?

Monthly RM10k Im on!

No stay far away please.

Why not!?

You know "Brokeback Mountain"........

parisianskyI forgot to add can cook or cannot cook is not in my criteria list to make the girl my girlfriend or my future wife.

There are other more important things than cooking. But of course I would prefer someone who can do better than just frying egg, doing Maggie mee.

I cook for myself every night. I don't mind if my partner couldn't cook. It ain't a big deal

Well in my case i dont aspect my partner to cook but im glad she loves cooking 😐😬😐😬😐

it's not about unfair , it's about whether a guy benefits from that.

When a girl gets a rich guy , their lifestyles get an upgrade, better house, better vacations, more money from husband etc.
The girl gets a status boost, security upgrade, lifestyle upgrade and in fact i was looking at an article that top 60% of richest women got their money through divorce.




When a guy gets a rich girl, the girl will say my money is my money, your money is your money, the guys lifestyle does not get an upgrade,
the girl has a much higher chance of feeling resentful, start belittle and disrespectful of the bf/husband.
So technically there's no benefit for the guy.

This post has been edited by Drian: Jul 20 2025, 12:29 PM

I'm saying unfair for her because she's not in the stereotypical group, that is to say, your generic statement of wo/men's benefits also will not apply to her.

That said, I'd be careful to apply statistics to everything. In this context, TS isn't talking about a(ny) rich guy, and as a career woman, also less so in the women stereotype.

Anyhow, I think any couple who are happy together will always have some transactions between them, because happy couples are partners contributing together to the relationship, because no one would be happy to be 100% giving and 0% taking for a lifetime. I'd go as far as to say, a successful gold digger has her ways of making the rich man happy, which also means the benefits he gets is happiness.

Nope i didn't aspect her to cook, but if she wanted to do so im fine with it