Hello Cupid Corner


I've recently matched a lady from CMB. We been hanging out for almost 4 times total in almost 1 month. She's been almost constantly texting me or sharing her daily activities to me. I can tell she like me. Even voice text me she missed me, what am i doing etc.


on our 3rd date, i went to her place she is renting, i did put my hand over her shoulder, she did lean over me, i also admit I hamsap kiss her a lot even to her mouth. But we didn't have sex.


The question is after 4th date, I am not sure maybe I never had a relationship before , I keep asking myself why am i not so interested compare to the 3rd date, could it be her hair style or attire??


She almost dying wanted to meet me every week. So may i ask has anyone of you dude encouter this kind of thingy before? Or I been single for too long ?


She is normal lady with around my age 30. Does she seems desperate to you guys?


She did mentioned ready to come my place meeting my family liao. I was thinking we are not even 3 months yet. Too fast??



How did you all progress with your girl friend??

if u r not interested, just end it asap.

dont give her hope or drag her on longer just because you want a companionship.

Because you hamsap kiss her on 3rd date. And u two keep chit chating so much until u know everything about her so it's boring. Relationships after some time is like that. It turns into commitment and responsibilities. Just that you are feeling it faster than others.

My relationship (about a year ago) was similar. Got into a relationship abit too fast for my own pace. Within 2 weeks. (but please remember different people different pace. Some people 2 weeks is just fine, some considered too slow, and some think is too fast).

But regardless of how fast/slow you got together, I believe that if you really really like her, it doesn't matter. Simple as that. If you really really like someone, you wouldn't be second guessing yourself, and you don't have to think of a reason like her. You will just naturally like her, and all the bad reasons in the world wouldn't stop you from liking her especially after a few dates.

My last relationship was like yours, got together within weeks, but everyday I would ask myself why do I not behave and treat her like how I used to in my previous relationship? Why do I not have the same urge as before to meet up with her everyday or every week, and text her constantly. In fact at times, I don't feel like seeing her and this was only the first 2 months. I feel like I am forcing myself to do things that is expected of what a bf would do, not because I want to do it willingly. Naturally, it ended six months later.

If you plan on continuing with her in the next few weeks. I'd suggest that you be honest with her. Tell her that you're still unsure about the relationship and you would like more time to get to know her before you commit. Sex? I'm old school, if you're not into her, then don't do it until you've found your reason to to commit, unless she doesn't mind that you may not continue with the relationship later on after sex.

No wrong or right here pal. Just decisions you have to make yourself.

she just wants to commit into it and get married soon...quite standard at this age. not ready then just let her know

why?

because not pretty?

if she looks like Zhang Ziyi, sure u will still be interested right

Maybe you like the chase. So once you get it you feel bored.

Very rare I would agree with you. But this is one of the time

Do you see yourself being long term with her? May be common values/interest? If yes, may be another few dates to evaluate but attire/hairstyle can change, it's a small thing.

The hamsap kiss could have sped things up to meet the family but communicate with her if you're not comfortable.

This post has been edited by silverwave: May 15 2025, 10:59 PM

True. TS make sure you like her too. Dont be like me, with a women just because she crazy about me. You will feel the clingness annoying later on. Make sure she the one you can click on

This post has been edited by kesvani: May 15 2025, 11:27 PM

Chemistry not there for u.

If got, sure by 4th date sudah want to piap.

too fast
too easy
make you not so interested or

if she play hard to get abit, you need put in more effort then you will feel more excitement

Bro, you are genius!

Too much hypocrite!

101% she is not beautiful!

already dapat, no excitement anymore.. ask her to create some resistant to you to reignite the fiyaaa

To all male,

If you go into relationship / married because of intercourse, 101% BIG NO!

As your partner 101% getting old n ugly. Its bitter but fact.

TS, speak the truth of yourself. She is just not attractive. That's all you going to tell us here.

She passed my minimum standard. So I'm thinking let's do few more dates and see how it goes

Are u looking for GF? Companionship? Wifu material? soulmate?

Maybe set your expectation first

sounds like she is not attractive to you.

not sure you are exaggerate, "dying" to meet you sounds like you are annoyed to it already... somemore post here in cupid corner. means you hesitate your current relationship. at times you need to know what you want in your life. if you can't tolerate a magnet gf... then you have to think twice.

imagine last time my ex-gf (who is my current waifu) everyday also meet. everyday same questions... you can say worst than magnet. for 12 years we parktor, living together for 3 years before we marry.

Must be either she is not attractive or have something on her body that turn u off.

Just tell her u r not interested and break it off.

After few dates already want to see family, why so rush

Well if u not interested please do pm me her number.

Im like this also..if girl is acting like desperate, Im quick to turn off.

Sounds pretty clingy. I would be cautious...

meeting up family after few dates is way too quick for me... I smell something is off. Just observe before commit into it

Somehow always hinted future husband etc. Too desperate??

Girls 30++ usually dating for marriage....

If you are not interested in her...just make that clear

TS, are u still seeing her?

Yep coming this friday. But also doing self reflection these few days. Whether i should continue or cut off

Glad to hear that from you. Hope that you'll make the right decision after that date.

I don't like fat girls also, but sometimes if your life is too stressful it may affect your decision whether you want to be committed to a woman. You've to talk to your shadow

What u dont like of her? List out

This post has been edited by raulxiver: May 28 2025, 07:27 PM

Passing my minimum standard appearance. A bit of Chubby that's it


Overall character itself everything is good

definitely need to considering all factors. long term punya story-history

thats ok maa. spending wise?

Normal la, I don't overly invest also. Fine dinning is big nono for me

Not sure about others, but I personally emphasise on meeting people around the potential partner, especially family, if I meet that person via dating app, because you don't know anything about the person so it's important to evaluate the person's "existing environment" to relate to the stories told. It would be a red flag to me if someone refuses to reveal those aspects, as if hiding something.

I met my boyfriend via dating app so we started as strangers. Understandably, it does sound freaky to meet the whole family at a dinner before going official, so we agreed to go his house to watch shows together, so I met his family unofficially way before we became official. We would just have some small talks, anyhow it was very reassuring to see his parents were amicable people.

Just let her go.
You're not attracted to her nor in love with her.
There isn't physical or emotional chemistry.

Already did, in a clear and direct but kind way. Hurts her also pains me.

But this the only way, I have to be honest with myself.

Sometimes doing the right thing can hurt a lot initially but it'll pay off eventually. Hope you'll find yr dream girl soon.

Very common in dating market, some matched i like her but she rejected me. Sometimes for this my case I'm sorry


You too always focus yourself as priority , fitness, intellectual, finance ,friends, family.


Hope you you too get your dream guy soon

Thanks 😊 Actually I can relate to u abt being single for too long. The guy that I mentioned in my post was expecting me to meet him probably 5 days/week. It didn't sit well with me coz when u've been single for so long, it's really weird to meet a person that often 😅 Probably u'll feel the same way too lol.

can relate , but somehow if you are seeing that guy, you will be glad to see him most the time. And you won't feel tired, for my case , I was meeting her once per week. but then honest with myself actually deep in my heart i don't wanna seeing her. I push myself up to 7th dates, only decided to tell her.

It's not abt being tired of seeing that person. It's just that we all have our own life to live, we need time to chill or indulge in our hobbies too. I think it's absurd to spend 24/7 with our partner. I mean how do we grow individually if spend our entire waking hours with them?

I'm curious abt yr case though. Did u get bored of her coz u guys always run out of things to talk abt or u always do the same dating activities together?

glad u tell her.. short pain is better than long pain..

Actually my case :I was not really honest with myself. After 1st -2nd date, I never reflect myself asking myself what things like about her. Then she is very forward of meeting me again next week. So i was like let's give it try 1 more, and then 1 more, and then 1 more. After 3rd date, i find it myself , why am i not so attracted her ? is it this is what dating feels like?, even everything was right. Deep down i was not physically attractive to her, so technically after 3rd date, every dates i show up is just to show face (like working). That explains.


in term of boredom is still fine, we both enjoy watching netflix and eat dinner together. Conversation is still fine with us.

This post has been edited by Mr.Ballz: Jun 2 2025, 01:02 AM

Such experience is part of our lives

Thanks for sharing this with us. I know you've read my thread n what u went through was exactly what I fear the most... That the guy I went out on a first date with didn't realise that he wasn't attracted to me but instead of facing this issue, he made himself to date me repeatedly just to determine if he was really into me. I felt a lot better after reading yr explanation, knowing that I did the right thing.

As for u, you didn't really waste too much of her time compared to other guys. Some guys would purposely keep the girl around for 6 months to years for selfish reasons.

Since chubbiness was the only issue, did you invite her to workout together or have a healthy lifestyle to be better? If she is willing to improve herself and many values are aligned, could still give it a chance.

I was in the same situation like you before, a chubby girl and i wasn't really attracted to her physically plus there were more red flags. She ended it after the 7th date (which i think i should have done earlier by the 4th date).

If you weren't interested why you didn't say so? same like me?? lied to yourself all the time?

I was 50-50 after the first date but then she asked for a second date. I was looking at overall aspects of her like attitude, values (besides physical attraction) and also hoping that one day, she will improve herself (like working out and being fit). However, she turned out to be more defensive along the way and of course some other red flags, which i could not accept.

About the chubby part... Do you mean obese with lots of loose fat? Or, the cute round meaty type? Or, plus-sized curvy with shape? 🤔

Also, what were the red flags that turned you off? Her habits? Personality? Views?

I'm curious and wanna learn from male perspectives.

She is too easy for you?

Some aspects of her not attractive enough?

on our 3rd date, i went to her place she is renting, i did put my hand over her shoulder, she did lean over me, i also admit I hamsap kiss her a lot even to her mouth. But we didn't have sex.
>> straigth get the f up


The question is after 4th date, I am not sure maybe I never had a relationship before , I keep asking myself why am i not so interested compare to the 3rd date, could it be her hair style or attire??
>> find it fast or bail out you till not move on into something, perhaps previous girl


She almost dying wanted to meet me every week. So may i ask has anyone of you dude encouter this kind of thingy before? Or I been single for too long ?
>>dying but no sex? puff

Sifu !! She is not obese, erm maybe just little meaty on the face & arms that's it. Her ass, leg, waist are still fine. Definitely not plus size. Besides that no other red flags, good personality, good education, good manner, hold good postion in her career as well. Willing to make our dates good easy for me.

just a bit chubby on face and arms that's it

Ask yourself is the are you ok to take care of her when she is sick and down. If yes you got your girl. I look forward to seeing her as we meet like once every 10-12 days but we just call and talk.

I met like 4x then ask to be official. No point waiting as we are attracted to one another.

Not everything involved sex la.

Is she matured, good in holding conversation, good listener, considerate n caring? If yes then its rare

If sex didn't sell, then why on average modern young women make way more money than an average baru graduate young college male?

Depends on where you are. If you are paid employee both same je. If you are in sales maybe yes and no.

Not everything is about sex. Please la.