Why my ex still can laugh so loud in front of people after break up with me? And im the one sitting there quiet and sad. I feel im useless as a guy. Or she never love me before and treated like i never exist?

update:
recently i found out she has been emotionally attached to another guy. i feel it is emotional cheating, she finds another guy to talk about us. i think she already attached to the guy when we were still together. i did asked her before when we were still together if she is close with the guy, she said no and keep saying bad things about the guy, but i just realized she is actually close with him. Surprise thing is the guy is highly devoted Christian and always preaches about God.

This post has been edited by noobmaster_69: Mar 9 2025, 11:52 AM

noobmaster_69 when a breakup occurs, usually the one who dumps is the one who actually moved on days/weeks ago

she dumped you?

yes, she dumped me. no wonder... it makes sense now... but she dumped the guy before me but that time she cried alot and cant eat... i was the one who consoled her that time... her previous guy is not loyal to her but im loyal to her at least.

got so many fish out there

why still bother

coz still love her although is one-sided

loyal useless. Important is compatibilties between you two. Speaking from personal experience

This post has been edited by kesvani: Feb 18 2025, 11:28 PM

compatibilities this one i agree... one reason we broke is due to this...

move on///not worth to think and rethink
it doesnt really matter

Bro, why bother please!? Important please!?

Beside that, what ever you think this n that......maybe she is having xxx with another.

Last, you should be happy as you can have new!

Tell us about her.

She sounds toxic

Why did you dump her?

We need to know the reason before we can comment


Probably she laugh so loud just to show that she is strong.

But she's weak inside.



This post has been edited by Chastain: Feb 19 2025, 07:53 AM

What ever passed let it be, Let the gone by gone.

Why still care about her unless she was pointing and defame at you in front of people, then that is another inappropriate action by her.
You have the right to complaint and take action.

How what is your situation? Your still has something with her?

ahhhh this is really sad...

i didnt dump her. she dumped me. reasons given by her varies... to some reasons, i would admit is my lacking but to some, she is kinda twisting my words, which i dont understand. i agree i might not give her enough emotional support but i support in other way, example if you are into some games which i dont like, i dont go but i support by buying the equipment for you, for her, she feels i dont support her at first but support her later. i dont support her at first coz everytime she came back with wounds, this really sadden me when she hurts.

alot of things not that i dont wan to provide, im still learning. whenever she cries with problems, my first instinct is to solve the problem for her but she said i always give solution but didnt provide emotional support. i said i will learn but this kind of thing is new to me, so i need time to learn. whenever she is sick or having issue or even just hungry, i will try to be there but she owes say no need. i feel a bit confuse that one side, you asked me to be there for you emotionally but when i try to be there, you said no need.

i know her, she is like really happy after break up.

i am not sure if defame is the right word but after break up, i only heard from my colleagues, she once cried in the office cafeteria in front of all my colleagues telling them how bad i treated her. i was kinda shocked. i am not good but i didnt treat her that bad. her definition of bad is i accidentally joke a bit about her, she will said i fierce her or scold her. if i heard sth surpringly, nomally we will react with higher tone, she will said why am i so fierce? i told her, im not fierce, just this thing is kinda shocking to me, i was like WHAT?????? this is her definition of bad to her.

although im angry at her some times, i dont really thought of break up, to me i will try to accept her lackings. but when she broke up with me, i feel she didnt give me a chance to explain or a chance to rectify my lackings... im not having third party or scold her badly or hit her, etc... just that when u r angry, definitely the tone will be higher but not to the extend shout at her.

i still love her now but i think she has forgotten me.

after break up, you still go out with circle of friends with her around?

she is in the market for the bestest guy.

I hate to give you the brutal truth, she does not prefer you.

Look, just forget about her.

She is like a tinder box, a spark would light a bush fire. And you've got to tip toe to avoid sparking that fire or stepping on a mine field. Its nuts. She's just finding excuses to dump you.

And most likely there's another guy.

So move on. It hurts now, but in the grandeur scheme of things, you avoided a bitch.

Just throw away the past dirty linen, and put on some new "clothes".

The negative emotions that flared post-breakup were never easy to deal with. Easy for the observer to comment on it until the same event happened to oneself, then only will we understand how heavy the feeling was.

This was a fraction of my memory from the past. Speaking from someone who went through a break-up. You will be looking into a lot of negativity side after the breakup, but every time when you are doing so, ask yourself if that is the love language/action? If it is not, stop and cease doing it.

Stop badmouthing about your ex; if you didn’t make it with her, still wish her the best. Even if she was badmouthing you, it doesn’t mean that you have to do the same. Know clearly what the act of love is.

During the dark event of life, there is always the light(positivity) within the darkness. Find that light within the darkness as it will aid you in overcoming this phase easier.

She's not the only amoi in malaysia bro, just move on

Seems like you are the rebound

rebounds are temporary one so i guess it just your turn for the time being

Sorry to hear that she badmouthed you, that makes the post breakup even more sour than it should be. If you find your workplace too toxic with her around then consider changing job to leave that toxicity behind. That said, it's also a good lesson for you not to shit where you eat next time.

I think there are some takeaways to her points:
1. Support
Asian culture as I know it has a bad habit of "holding back", and I think it's much more prevalent in women, hence the Chinese proverb "mouth yes, heart no". It's possible she didn't want to trouble you for coming all the way to care for her so she initially refuses, but secretly wished for you to insist and surprise her. I have heard some people who would say, "you should always hold back the first time one asks, and accept only when they ask a second time. If they don't ask twice then they weren't keen in the first place!"
Personally, I hold back too but my bf often insisted, and that made me happy. Otherwise, I also tell myself that it is not his fault if he doesn't insist because I'm the one who said so, so my disappointment is self inflicted. Everyone will have days they want their own time, days they want someone to pamper/care for them, so as a couple, it's a learning curve to understand when those days are.

2. Learn to argue
Misunderstanding your partner's emotion is common and that's where argument ensues... If you never argued about it before then something's wrong. If you argued before but didn't understand each other better after, then something's wrong too.

3. Talk
This is very closely related to 2, but yeah, problems should not be swept under the rug. Since she's the one who initiated the breakup, I think she had more she kept to herself. It's too late for you to understand what they were, but this can be a lesson for you to perhaps check in with your future partner in how "we" are doing so far, typically a private conversation e.g. while you 2 are driving somewhere.

The more bf that a girl hv, the more emotional burden she would hv

U should glad that u hv avoid landmine for next 30 years

Get a kind hearted and responsible partner. Formula for successful marriage

i think the advise is great, especially coming from a girl.

for #1, normally i will insist but she will insist even further. i remember there was a time when she was pretty sick, i wanted to take her to doctor but she said no... then i said maybe i send meds to you, she said no because she said she is too weak to come down. then i used grab to send the meds over and left it at the lobby so she can pick up when she feels better. but she gets upset, saying i dont respect her and only insist doing what i want. i felt pretty sad.

#2 & #3, i admit i really lack of communication and understanding towards her feelings and thoughts. i dont realize them until after break up where i recollected back everything then i realized i have a lot more to improve but like you said, it is too late. it really sadden me when we broke up and only that time i realized how much i have left her alone in her thoughts... when we first together, i promised to treat her better but it seems i have failed on that part. if there is a take 2, i wont leave her alone in her own thoughts and would try to understand her more instead and be in her shoes.

"mouth no, heart yes" i kena roll until upside down many times liao.
working in computer field, my mind able to process quickly yes and no, yes or no, yes nor no. options.
maybe need to upgrade a.i. deekseek level.

another thing about argue is, various invalid excuses.
dont argue, in return blaming for "cold violence"

i think i have one problem that i acknowledge is owes choose to keep quiet... for me is the issue is small and im angry, i will keep quiet coz when i go back sleep then wake up i will forgot... maybe that's the cold violence...

#2
Look into something they call love language.


Also if you have time google this guy. Vinh Giang

This post has been edited by aspire2oo6: Feb 26 2025, 03:04 PM

Coz she is the one that break up with u, thats why.

I remember my first love..We were a couple.in college. We planned to go to same uni and both of us got in. But b4 we started uni, she asked for breakup. I was heartbroken.

First year uni was especially hard, as I saw her nearly everyday. We had the same classes mostly.. She was a very popular girl with many friends. Later in first year, she got a BF. That made life even more miserable.

It was only in second year that I started recovery and only in my third started dating again, but even then didnt find anyone that can compare to her. But slowly slowly I was able to love again.

I experienced a few more heartbreaks since then, but none were as painful as the first and I was able to bounce back pretty fast.

I also broke some hearts, and I do feel shitty about it but thats life.

No grudges and no regrets. All part of living.



This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Feb 26 2025, 11:30 PM

i hope i can walk out if misery soon enough too...

i guess some of you here are correct - i suspect she could have been emotionally cheating on me even we were still together.

Bro, you must never lose yourself out there in the world.

You have now lost your being like a piece of the original you is now lost.

Rather, that sparkle within is never gone, only dimmed because you're so caught outside in the world than focusing on who you are.

You need to find yourself back, and that begins by ghosting the places you tend to go to, and also having a change in lifestyle/habits that helps you to stay fit physically.

Try to stay out of your household and only come back by day end to sleep, and never to think.

You should be spending the rest of the clock after work exercising, or finding inspiration elsewhere.

Then that bitch is dead to you.

Improve yourself, work on your career, date hotter girls.

She'll eventually come crawling back, and when she does, you decide what to do with her.

Personally i'd just pump and dump.

Sounds like you heard some news. Suppose it's true, then it makes it easier for you to move on because she was simply not the one for you. Congratulations you don't have to suffer for 13 years lol.

yes indeed i heard something that i never know before. and yes, from guilt and regret, now i am angry.

I see this kinda of things happen to quiet guys like me. I don't know if it happens to extrovert guys. May introverted guys are sensitive like you and me

i am an overthinker. i am talkative with friends but im quiet when it comes to my emotion, i cant express freely what's buried deep in my heart. for the past 10+ years, i was all alone and whenever i faced a problem, i have to solve it myself and no one to talk to, so eventually, i start to bury everything into myself because i dont feel the need to express out since i can eat them all up myself.

i feel the harder you try to impress your gf, the less impress they are. in new generation, the less attention you give them, the more attractive you are. when you try to impress them, treat them well, they dont value you. her ex is kinda like a player but she loved him so much. im loyal to her and always get her permission if i want to go out, she feels im not good to her.