Why my ex still can laugh so loud in front of people after break up with me? And im the one sitting there quiet and sad. I feel im useless as a guy. Or she never love me before and treated like i never exist?

update:
recently i found out she has been emotionally attached to another guy. i feel it is emotional cheating, she finds another guy to talk about us. i think she already attached to the guy when we were still together. i did asked her before when we were still together if she is close with the guy, she said no and keep saying bad things about the guy, but i just realized she is actually close with him. Surprise thing is the guy is highly devoted Christian and always preaches about God.

This post has been edited by noobmaster_69: Mar 9 2025, 11:52 AM

yes, she dumped me. no wonder... it makes sense now... but she dumped the guy before me but that time she cried alot and cant eat... i was the one who consoled her that time... her previous guy is not loyal to her but im loyal to her at least.

coz still love her although is one-sided

compatibilities this one i agree... one reason we broke is due to this...

ahhhh this is really sad...

i didnt dump her. she dumped me. reasons given by her varies... to some reasons, i would admit is my lacking but to some, she is kinda twisting my words, which i dont understand. i agree i might not give her enough emotional support but i support in other way, example if you are into some games which i dont like, i dont go but i support by buying the equipment for you, for her, she feels i dont support her at first but support her later. i dont support her at first coz everytime she came back with wounds, this really sadden me when she hurts.

alot of things not that i dont wan to provide, im still learning. whenever she cries with problems, my first instinct is to solve the problem for her but she said i always give solution but didnt provide emotional support. i said i will learn but this kind of thing is new to me, so i need time to learn. whenever she is sick or having issue or even just hungry, i will try to be there but she owes say no need. i feel a bit confuse that one side, you asked me to be there for you emotionally but when i try to be there, you said no need.

i know her, she is like really happy after break up.

i am not sure if defame is the right word but after break up, i only heard from my colleagues, she once cried in the office cafeteria in front of all my colleagues telling them how bad i treated her. i was kinda shocked. i am not good but i didnt treat her that bad. her definition of bad is i accidentally joke a bit about her, she will said i fierce her or scold her. if i heard sth surpringly, nomally we will react with higher tone, she will said why am i so fierce? i told her, im not fierce, just this thing is kinda shocking to me, i was like WHAT?????? this is her definition of bad to her.

although im angry at her some times, i dont really thought of break up, to me i will try to accept her lackings. but when she broke up with me, i feel she didnt give me a chance to explain or a chance to rectify my lackings... im not having third party or scold her badly or hit her, etc... just that when u r angry, definitely the tone will be higher but not to the extend shout at her.

i still love her now but i think she has forgotten me.

i think the advise is great, especially coming from a girl.

for #1, normally i will insist but she will insist even further. i remember there was a time when she was pretty sick, i wanted to take her to doctor but she said no... then i said maybe i send meds to you, she said no because she said she is too weak to come down. then i used grab to send the meds over and left it at the lobby so she can pick up when she feels better. but she gets upset, saying i dont respect her and only insist doing what i want. i felt pretty sad.

#2 & #3, i admit i really lack of communication and understanding towards her feelings and thoughts. i dont realize them until after break up where i recollected back everything then i realized i have a lot more to improve but like you said, it is too late. it really sadden me when we broke up and only that time i realized how much i have left her alone in her thoughts... when we first together, i promised to treat her better but it seems i have failed on that part. if there is a take 2, i wont leave her alone in her own thoughts and would try to understand her more instead and be in her shoes.

i think i have one problem that i acknowledge is owes choose to keep quiet... for me is the issue is small and im angry, i will keep quiet coz when i go back sleep then wake up i will forgot... maybe that's the cold violence...

i hope i can walk out if misery soon enough too...

i guess some of you here are correct - i suspect she could have been emotionally cheating on me even we were still together.

yes indeed i heard something that i never know before. and yes, from guilt and regret, now i am angry.

i am an overthinker. i am talkative with friends but im quiet when it comes to my emotion, i cant express freely what's buried deep in my heart. for the past 10+ years, i was all alone and whenever i faced a problem, i have to solve it myself and no one to talk to, so eventually, i start to bury everything into myself because i dont feel the need to express out since i can eat them all up myself.

i feel the harder you try to impress your gf, the less impress they are. in new generation, the less attention you give them, the more attractive you are. when you try to impress them, treat them well, they dont value you. her ex is kinda like a player but she loved him so much. im loyal to her and always get her permission if i want to go out, she feels im not good to her.