Meaning someone suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. Do such people have any chance at redemption or are they doomed to self-destruct?

Yes. One of my sister. Never admit own fault and will always argue with anyone thinking she is always right.

machiam kenal je

Older sister?

Much younger sister. She is 25. Sometimes when we're arguing she would ran amok, screaming and destroying furniture near her to justifying her righteousness. She even smash my phone and tilt down our mom's closet once.

When she finally realize she is wrong though, she would keep quiet if not she would look up our past mistakes and makes it as an issue again. She never apologizes one. She is salah, but us other siblings are the ones have to apologize.

And any personal issues among siblings and family she will direct to family's group Whatsapp, not through personal Whatsapp.

Her attitude is just like that single old aunty manager / boss at office. Nightmare to everyone.

She is not mentally ill. Just pure narcissist.

Btw as a person she is actually ok, caring and friendly. Just don't make any issue with her, even small ones.

She is insecure, lack of confidence, low performer in school, pretty and chssed by many boys?

You guys should read this forum: https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/

Then only you will realise the real impact they have on other people

bumped into one on LYN the other day. kept thinking that everything is about him only wan, and kept going off topic to talk about himself while at the same time demanding to stay on topic

She is high perfomer, pretty, have boyfriend and make much more money than me despite im 11 years older than her.

But is probably insecure and lacking confidence because she is highly introvert and not many friends.

This is an example of a narcissist.

1. They always talk about themselves.
2. They always talk about how great they are.
3. They will appear to be savior to any situation
4. They will give bombastic claims to make them feel so important and meaningful to the world.

Some are insecure but some are too pampered by their parents. Will they self destruct? Not in Malaysia, it sells actually. They'll never admit they're wrong and always have that confidence.

She must have lost something valuable when she was younger. Any of her bfs got stolen by other girls especially some girl she knows?

My boss. Either she the only one give the right answer or if she is wrong, no one is right.

Nah I don't think so.

She is like that since since kicik.

Hope her bf is strong enough

Wow, if this happened to me I would just cut ties with her...

But some can change themselves quite drastically too. I know of one in real life who literally did a 180 degree turn after getting married.

And become normal like you and me?

Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder
Grandiose sense of self-importance. ... Checked
Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur. ...Checked
Needs constant praise and admiration. ...Checked
Sense of entitlement. ...Checked
Exploits others without guilt or shame. ...Checked
Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others...Checked

Yup i had one in my house. Gonna cut it loose soon.

Yup knew one from my post grad days, the I'm right you're wrong fella. He makes a show about listening to opinions which he actually doesn't hear then goes on wrong rambling speeches about his opinions and why they're right. Does it so often he actually misses a majority of discussions because he literally can't hear. Volunteers to be our de facto leader or spokesperson even when nothing calls for it.

And he was kiasu on top of being a narcissist. Ughhh even more off-putting seeing him act like a cunt for a point here or a point there during exams. I got so irritated by him during our last group assignment I just told him point blank, if this was work related, I would have given you multiple f bombs because of your behaviour....or worse so stfu and be a team member.

He works in an MNC and is quite high up there, I shudder to imagine if he's that much of a dick among peers, how big of a dick he is with subordinates. So much so i have warned one person thinking of joining his org in his dept (i messaged him to confirm)



In this case his marriage didn't last the duration of the course, got married a year or two before the course, divorced halfway thru. Wanted to sympathise but he made a speech, (no one asked for BTW) how it's for the best and beneficial for him (and also her but mainly him) that I was like fuck this idiot.

even more drastic I would say. Originally he was staying in a really nice and huge condo unit in one of those expensive areas. pretty much the show off type, etc. Apparently he then met somebody who had him questioning himself about what's the entire purpose of his lavish lifestyle and his need to show off, and his need to become the center of attention. Sold off that condo, moved into a far smaller place with a far simpler lifestyle after that.

I think in /k/ a lot of narcissistic personality disorder

I think I might know one ktard from real life professionally. Owner of a big service provider so yeah his/her flex is legit. Not a frequent poster though but his/her tastes and mannerism is so specific, about 70% to 80% sure that's the person

And yeah the flexing (attractiveness on top of wealth) is compensating, face problem but not aware of it

This post has been edited by 9m2w: Nov 27 2020, 09:45 AM

During uni time, I had a friend (Still in contact from time to time btw).

This amoi has some narcissistic princess disorder, or so I would call.
Very entitled gedik type. I'm sure we had encounter these type of people before.

We're in science stream btw, so there will be practical experiment going on twice a week.
And us, a group of 4, 2 amoi (one of them is the princess) and 2 ah beng (me included).

1. Everytime experiment, she will be the one having all the nice moment of handling the equipment and the fun stuff.
Every fun has to come to an end, and then she ciao. Left all the glassware for us to wash. Her reason; her hand cannot
handle detergent.

2. She had a few simps. One time she left her pen in a library (we're now in another block 1km away from the library), she asked one of her simp
to go all the way to library and collect the pen for her.

3. The origin of her narcissistic princess disorder: 2 years ago during CNY, I went to her house along with my friends. Her mother had the same attitude.
Demanding and self-entitled. Pity her father. Her father early 50s, but look so worn down. Wrinkles everywhere like 70s. Big house. 4 cars. 3 belongs to her mother, her younger brother and herself. Nice new car btw (BMW for the mother, Honda for her and her brother). The father? Proton Wira.

4. 6months after graduation; we had a meetup. By then I already secured a job 1 month before my final paper (can't afford to stay jobless due to financial condition and my parent can't support me). She's still jobless and we're enjoying life to the max. Going here and there posting insta stories on all the fancy food. Had a new car because she Honda she had that time already reached 5 years old. New car is a hatchback merc. I don't even know what model that is. Reason why she's still jobless; she wants a job that can pay her >4.5k. The highest offer she got is 3.1k that time, but she rejected the offer because it's too far from her (35min away from her home).

5. 1.5 years after graduation; we had another meetup. Christmas 2019. She ended up in a company 15min away from her house and had 1.8k basic + OT allowance. After her probation she got RM50 increment. She was complaining to us. We just listen.

Do I dislike her as a friend? No.
Would I want to have her as my gf (she had a crush on me during uni time)? Big no.
Am I jelly of her? Partially yes for the tongkat.
Would I bang her? Yes, almost did (story for another time)

Not a fictional story btw.

isn't that a good thing? how did it become more drastic?

Many here are looked down in real life and by family members. So had to flash their assets to boost a bit of self-esteem and every thread the focus must be about their house, their stock, their cars, and their money.


she has finally come to her senses for point 5.

Like i said previously she is actually decent person, just don't make any issues even small ones with her.

Agreed. You are one of the prime example.

Regarding your views about covid, already proven salah lagi nak putar belit fakta trying hard to prove you are right.

Well many are start to see problem with mco and realise I am right all along. Maybe you are the narcissistic one for thinking you are always right? Oh hell, maybe majority k/ are narcissistic that always think they are right?

Well this is the very strong trait of a narcissist.

Most converted to mco hater and statistic does show it is not dangerous. But because you are narcissistic, you want everyone to agree with your view that covid19 need full mco.

So you are the narcissistic one here.

Your narcissist view don't matter at all since you're also the same idiot who used to say tobacco product is eaten and HIV is autoimmune disease.

Wow sound like narcissistic sprinkled with some stupidity

Yup. It's stupid for one to think that tobacco product is eaten because human stomach can't digest nicotine and will vomit it out.

It is also stupid to think having HIV is autoimmune disease. Because mechanism of both works the opposite.

I don't remember I troll on that tobacco thingy. But anyway you just show your narcissistic trait.

I just pointed out your mistake. Ok la, don't want to hurt your hati tisu anymore.

Yeap narcissistic people always want to win. From /k/ to serious kopitiam.

You just prove it.

My spouse. How i wish I can turn back the time. It’s really difficult.

Well, yes, it's a good thing. Just that most ppl won't go until that extent. If a person's rich, there's no problem with wanting to have nicer things, but he went to the point of just going simple all the way.

how to spot sign of narcisist:
1. entitlement
2. call himself/herself in third person
3. over glorified his / her own story again and again, even attach some religious / or attach other popular things on their story

no 2 there is very telling. if they use it in their sentences when talking like 'doctor, ustat, haji instead of saya, aku, kami' even those who use their nickname like third person can be a sign of narcisist

the royal plural form of address?

i think most /k that you think have it most probably just joking around
what's worse than /k in amplifying and raising narcissist nowadays are socmed
those in facebook, instagram, youtube, tiktok, twitter, twitch, reddit even onlyfans are the worse kind

There's probably some genuine narcissists in /k, but most others are pretty much just making fun of them and the way they are so militant about things.

i think a borderline + narcissist combo is worse

This post has been edited by mouldybread: Nov 27 2020, 01:06 PM

I think you are right. Real life socmed narcissistic behavior is the real one.

Totally have.

One breeds another, so I have met two.

Can get rid of one but can't get rid of another because it's the evil mother in law.

I support the idea of earning a breeding license before any breeds, because obviously there are people not suitable to be good parents.

I dont think so. She is still receiving allowance from her father.

Apparently her father provide her additional 3k per month. Reduced a bit from Uni time; 3.5k per month.

She proudly announce that to us (we're very close friends btw).

Her merc installment + insurance is covered by the father.
Live in parent's house.
Her rich bf will also shower her with gifts and all. (she had a bf btw during uni time. Did I mention she had a crush on me too during Uni time? And almost slept with her too.)

This is her 福气. Even a rich bf to entertain her princess syndrome. Something we can't ask for or demand. Either we have or we don't.

Sounds like she's living quite a good life.

She is. That’s why I jelly sometimes haha

One thing I never jelly about her is her mental capabilities. She had grown too dependent on others and would whine whenever she couldn’t get what she wants.
One thing I don’t like

Yes, she lacks in that and when her 福气 is no longer around, she must learn to survive.

But this thing not for ua to decide. Some people are very blessed in life. Some just work very hard and can never hit the right tune in life.

As said, life isn't fair. That's life principle 101

Necro. Because such thread is forever relevant.

Man, narcissist colleagues are worst.

I've experienced someone from the Cluster B personality disorder before. Not narcissist though, more to BPD, so I've educated myself A LOT on Cluster B people.

No chance of redemption, and depending on whether they are high functioning or not, they may even succeed in life. But anyone involved with them in a relationship will suffer, unless they are on a matching profile of Cluster B also (e.g. a sociopath gets along very well with a narcissist).

Doesn't look like she's narcissistic. Seems more like she's manipulative. Two of the glaring attributes of narcissists (and sociopaths) are they're impulsive, and must win at any cost. If a narcissist lose to you, they will hate you and will openly show it. They have no sense of personal boundaries, and are pathological liars.

/k many

narcissist in a way that take good care of ownself, looking good, healthy, etc is good

narcissit in a way that is delusional that everything about himself/herself is perfect really needs medical attention, remind me of princess syndrome

I was a narcissist back then. Now insaf alrd. Mine was because im both street smart and book smart, i often looked down on my peers. And my academic result proved me right. So in my heart i always thought my peers were all idiot.

I too take good care of my look, health and etc. So being the rare breed in my uni (the only cina in my batch), i slept and fooled around with many girls in my uni and i proudly kept a book of record who i slept with. The name, the pics, videos and all that. Girls are just easy to get.

Then one day a girl who i always hooked up with, got tunang with another dude, after our last s, she actually jokingly said "imagine ur future daughter being screwed by dude like you, how would you feel haha"

That was what caught me thinking, and start to insaf alrd. Now in a stable 3 years relationship with my gf, planning to get married in another 1 year.

sounds like some one i saw at FB , a dentist but very high profile
always purposely post something disgusting on FB to annoy others

yes, some people claim themselves to be expert, but in fact, are just arrogant instead of being helpful

Narcissists are fueled by the attention they get. Devoid them of it and they will die off naturally.

This is not narcissism.
A narcissist will never behave like that and when you see through that person, you will realize everything is fake. Even the "caring and friendly" part.

Not really. They can hide everything well.

I mean how they can control everything if they cannot hide their impulsiveness

Actually it's smart though to reject a job that is far from your place. If you do the maths.

I know someone like that. Everything is about him. Lol not sure how his wife can stand him.

An irritating guy is not a narc.
A narc is like satan incarnate.

Some women prefer to stay with awful man because of his money. Could that be the reason probably?

Not really. Narcs are well known for taking almost everything from their victims and not feeling guilty about it.

Not really. He is not rich. All of us think that the wife deserves better, but what to do. They have kids so maybe that is why she stuck around.

My former boss. Almost everyone in her team resigned.

Feeling entitled (but always portray as the cool c-suite), humiliate people (shouted in front of everyone), capitals and exclamation marks in the emails which she cc-ed to everyone, insecure she must be in the loop for everything including shirt colour and material (funneh? well). I think most heads are not functioning in my company because they cannot make decision otherwise will upset my boss, unless they consulted her. Always everyone's fault never her fault. She was the one not reading emails/Whatsapp reminder etc. but at the end it was your fault.

But I survived anyway, despite I always argued with her. I have always used reasoning whenever I was with her ie. pink colour is not suitable (although she likes it) because, it is not our corporate colour etc. I ever told she was the one delaying making decision hence resulting last minute in everything, every single time. I believe she must be geram with me, truth hurts anyway.

Was damn lucky she still replied my texts each time we had an argument unless others. Everyone takut with her. Always said sorry even though they were not at fault. I was kinda rebel tho. My mantra is always, never say sorry. It is her feeling not mine. Don't fall into her narcissistic trap!

She was lovely, caring, the nicest person on earth you ever met until you step into her periuk api

This post has been edited by Sha91: Apr 9 2023, 01:14 AM

after reading this thread, apparently I have a text book narcissist colleague, no wonder I feel miserable

all the trait is 100% hit as what commented here lmao

Classic. Some women won't leave until it involves life and death of hers and her children.

Hearing too much of cases like this but again I can't say much since it's their own decision to stuck with nasty person like that.

NO CURE.

AVOID THEM.

AND IF YOU HAVE THE UPPER HAND, SCREW THEM BIG TIME

CAUSE THEY HAVE ZERO MERCY IN DESTROYING YOUR SELF WORTH

Yes. My mum, the biggest narcissist i have ever known.

Yes, my mother-in-law. She think she is the perfect/best person in this world. Never do/done anything wrong, all are other's faults or mistakes. Her children are the best too. Attention seeker.

your parents didnt belasah her ke? i mean how come that age can still act like that....i mean verbally scold is one thing la. But break stuff and etc...sure my parents would have snapped all 206 of my bones and thrown in the longkang lmao

based on my exp..yes..my ex partner last time...very hard to let her go, mmg main with jiwa and always blame me for what happen, ape pun jadi she will bagi kita rasa bersalah...boleh mental kita dibuatnye..

Sigh.. I wish Narcissistic Personality Disorder & Borderline Personality Disorder along the cluster B was taught in school.

It will save alot of heartbreak and devastation of abused victims..

How bad is abuse by a narcissist? it's extremely deadly. Can cause shorten life due to constant stress or worst, suicide for the victims..

People talk about the dangers of psychopaths and sociopaths, but Narcs are actually more inclined to inflict more damage on unsuspecting victims..

There are actually 4 types of narcissists.

The overt narcissist - this type is always boasting about their achievements and exhibit delusions of grandiose.
The covert narcissist - this is the silent type actually. Humble, friendly with strangers, & normal in appearance. But don't let this deceive you. Later I will explain the tactics ALL narcs use.
The malignant narcissist - this type is the one you want to RUN for fear of losing your life. They can rationalize causing you serious harm and even murder. Amber Heard is a contemporary example of a malignant narcissist.
The final type of narcissist is the super religious, i love to volunteer type of narc. They just love to boast about their "altruistic, self-sacrificing" nature. But the truth is, they are equally dangerous as the others.


So what makes a narcissist a narcissist? Contrary to what has been discussed here, the key trait to identify that a person is a narcissist is their constant need for EXTERNAL validation.
Yes, they can't self-love or self-validate so they need outside source to regulate their emotions. They are also NEVER single or alone. They are constantly in or in an existing relationship. Whether they choose to expose or hide their supply, it's another matter.

Yes, I mentioned Supply because all narcissist don't view human relationships as humans. No, they see them as supply to soothe their constant need for validation.

Narcissists also lack emotional empathy, hence their inability to recognize their wrongdoings and they exhibit no shame or remorse for the damage they cause. They are also masters at blame-shifting, gaslighting, and being the victim. You can't win any arguments with them.

There are 4 main phases that all narcissist use to entangle people into their web of deception and narcissistic supply.

Phase 1: Lovebomb or idealisation phase.
this phase is where the narc lures their prey by showering the target with gifts, vacations, love, sex, money & etc.. Experiencing the Narcissists lovebomb is like going through on very intense honeymoon and your relationship feels like it is moving at lightning quick. You are meeting family very fast, you move in together within 2-3months, and you are inseparable. Might as-well be married.

The narcissist does this because they are idealizing you. They have put you on a pedestal and you are like their perfect partner. They treat you very well but it doesn't last forever. No relationship that starts off on an unsustainable high lasts forever.

Phase 2: Devaluation phase
Since there is no such thing as a perfect human being, the narcissist soon realizes that you have human flaws and personality defects. They may not like how you blink your eyes, or drive badly or can't keep yourself nice and clean for them.

All of a sudden, you aren't perfect in their eyes anymore.

This is where they begin to devalue you. This is where the ABUSE begins. Since you are high on dopamine and oxytocin, "love" from the narcsissist lovebombing, you will try your best to get back to that point again. But the more you do, the more you will realise nothing is working. The narcissist has stopped lovebombing you ages ago, is now constantly pushing your boundaries, giving you shallow forms of love, stopped caring and constantly getting into fights with you. The narcissist is just generally being abusive to you.

Sadly for you, the narc no longer sees you the same way as beginning of the relationship and has already begun looking for another person. Your replacement.


Phase 3: Discard phase.
All narcissists eventually cheat. I repeat myself. All narcissists will cheat on their partners. It is inevitable because they are maladaptive behaviours and do not see relationships the way
normal people do. Do not take their cheating personally. It is just their impulsiveness and constant need to seek external validation. This is why they cheat on their long-term partners. No one person is enough to satisfy their need for supply.

And if you are unaware of their cheating, they will continue to do so every day until one fine day, you wake up or they leave you for good. That is called the "final discard".

but it's never ever final for the narcissist. You are a toy and they are bored so you are now shelved until they want to play with you again. The return phase.

Phase 4: Return phase.
So you have been cruelly discarded. The narcissist is now off with a new supply, they are posting loving pictures of the new supply on social media. You are left picking up the pieces. Maybe you were married to the narcissist for many years, maybe you have children together, a life once built is now destroyed because the Narcissist decided you weren't good enough and discarded you for their flashy new toy. You are an emotional wreck.

The narcissist always discards by blaming you 100% and you were the sole reason why they left. It's not because they wanted to explore other options or move in with a new person. No, the never give you closure. For good reasons.

Because without the closure, you are always open to their return and with their return, more abuse!

yes.. they will come back to you just when you are almost fully healed, rediscovered your identity post narcissistic abuse and just when you are about to move on with your life.

They will tell you all sorts of things such as how wrong they were to leave you. How they regret losing you. How they are working on themselves.

Whatever excuse just to win you back.

And you take them back and the games begins once again. The lovebomb phase is faster. They devalue you immediately. and again, discard you for someone else...

This is how people commit suicide in a narcissistic relationship..

The narcissistic parent and children should also be discussed in school..

As mentioned, the narcissist treat people as supply for them. They treat their children as extensions of themselves. If the narcissist has more children, they will be assigned different roles. The four most common roles are:-

The golden child.
-this child is showered with all of the love and resources of the narcissist. The golden child is "special" and can do no wrong. This child later grows up and gets the best head-start in life but this child will forever be controlled by the narcissistic parent and may resent the other siblings for their independence.

Britney Spears is a perfect example of a golden child.

The forgotten child.
This child is neglected both emotionally and physically by the narcissistic parent. The narcissist never shows much love or care and the forgotten child is left to grow up isolated from the other siblings. The forgotten child when older is usually the dumping ground for all practical issues necessary to support the narcissistic parent. Examples being to take the narcissistic parent for medical check-ups, to stay full-time with the parent. The neglected child does so because finally, they are being recognised and feel validated. Litte does the neglected child knows that they are just enabling the abuse and bad behaviour of their older narcissistic parent..

The narcissistic child.
The narcissistic child is as you guessed it, the demon that the narcissist has created in their image. To continue the generational trauma and abuse for generations to come. The narcissistic child adopts all of the parents traits and continues the abuse.

The scapegoat.
The black sheep of the family. Forever blamed for not being like the others. For not getting along with the programme of the narcissist. The scape-goat is often picked on and bullied by the siblings and the narcissist abuses them the worst. All of the siblings enable this because they know that the narcissist needs an emotional release in the form of abuse and they rather it be on the scapegoat child rather than them.. so they all remain silent and never speak out. Maybe when it's over, they'll put their hand around the shoulder of the scapegoat and let them know it's "fine".

The scapegoat child has deep emotional wounds and is also deeply damaged with PTSD from the abuse since early childhood. When older, they may rebel against the authority of the narcissist, challenge them and stand on their own two feet. The scapegoat adult may also fall prey to a narcissist since they are looking for their parent in their partner.. The scapegoat is literally abused for life...

But there is also hope for the scapegoat child as they are usually the one that breaks the chains and cycle of abuse and walks away from the dysfunctional family, quite often for good. The scapegoat becomes the Escapegoat and starts building and living a life away from any toxic family members or ex-narcissistic spouses. The scapegoat is the child that has the full picture and can live peacefully and freely.


Anyone can relate to this?

This post has been edited by Roboguru: Jun 22 2023, 07:58 PM