Hi all, I am getting married soon so have been planning the wedding for the past few months.
There is 1 thing which I need some guidance on who to give dowry (or whether you think its necessary or not). Some facts:
1) She came from broken family. Parents divorced since she was a child.
2) Never seen her mother. Now that she is an adult she has zero interest in meeting her mother.
3) Father took no part in raising her up. Father only came and reconcile with her after she reach adulthood. She still acknowledge him as a father, but doesn't really respect him.
4) She was mainly raised by grandparents. Sometimes, her aunt (i.e., sister of her father) helped chip in but it was mainly still her grandparents who raised her.
Now, AFAIK according to Chinese custom, dowry is paid to thank the person who raised the bride. However like I said earlier, her father did not raise her up at all. It was the grandparents who raised her up, but they have passed away. Next in line would be her aunt, which I have consulted once and she refused to accept any dowry, simply saying its not necessary.
Some elder people I have consulted including my parents say the aunt is just being polite to refuse the first round, and I should still pay a small amount as a token to respect tradition, but would it be good for me to insist? Is the aunt really just being polite?
I would like to follow custom/tradition as closely as possible. Anyone here who is familiar with Chinese custom/tradition can advise what I should be doing?
This post has been edited by ComingBackSoon: Jan 15 2020, 08:17 PM
Chinese wedding dowry, Give to who?