I think FIL left 1st wife for the 2nd wife and not the other way around. If 1st wife had left him she wouldn't be taking him back now and giving him her life savings.

FIL is entitled to 50% of the value of the condo which was their matrimonial home. Wouldn't that more than offset the 50% MIL is entitled to for the smaller condo? So FIL is paying when he does not need to. He didn't have a lawyer to advise him.

MIL should not take FIL's money which came from 1st wife's savings. She has forgotten all that her ex-husband has done for her and is out to take him to the cleaners. She has also poisoned her daughters against their own father. Cold, heartless and vindictive. Not a good role model for her daughters.

TS FIL die also want face.

It doesnt matter who initiated the separation then.



Why didnt 1st wife use her life savings to help FIL to buy name right?

As said earlier, this is a small matter and it revolve around 1st wife family only. If FIL had handled it well, this mess would not have come up.

Speculation ...
This could be the big idea of the 1st wife. Plan went haywire. Then 1st wife initiate buy back ex-husband from MIL.

This post has been edited by mini orchard: Nov 12 2019, 11:12 PM

He should have stuck with her but as they say hindsight is always 20/20.

Unfortunately the real mistake in his life was his chauvinism and ego. That's the real reason why all his businesses and family fortune has since gone with the wind. Own daughter intelligent enough to have a LL.B Uni of London 1st, 2 LSE Masters and clearly more than capable to help run a business, they handpick his 2nd brother's son to take on the helm and sidelined her.

You conveniently missed out 1 thing, the 1st wife only agreed to give him her lifetime savings because he agreed to put her name on the title of the house that they are now living in. If my MIL wanted to be nasty she could claim part of that house too as it was bought during their marriage or use it as a basis for monthly alimony payments. Also she will most likely get all of it back in the event that other condo does sell.....though I won't hold my breath on it selling anytime soon unless sold very cheap which he isn't willing else I'd have bought it off him.

Haha... yes and that is especially applicable to where you stick your money at too

He was legally married to the 1st wife and was the one that initiated the divorce. Said it was something to do with her not wanting any more children after the 3rd as it was a difficult birth. That's when he started pursuing my MIL.


Why the 1st wife didn't give money for the name right? Simple, she did not give a flying toss about it therefore she wasn't wasting her savings on something of that nature.

He claims the reason she took him back was more along the lines that her children said their father was in trouble and was being mistreated by the family. Said she cared enough to get him out of the mess. I did tell him don't count on my MIL ever doing that for him.

Oh yes, chauvinism, ego and face are inseparable with that man.

FIL could have make a deal with 1st wife by asking for her savings in exchange for share on the property. With that, he could have bought the name right and the money goes towards her pregnant daughter instead of MIL. Now, half share gone, no name right and no money.

As said earlier, FIL is assets rich and could have easily solved the problem.

What a no brainer ... fighting for something which is not within his means to have it eventhough legally half is his. Expect to be handed on a golden plate, according to some replies. Ego is the word.

Looking back on past replies, sometimes some people solve problems using emotions rather than 'logic'. In a 'war', it doesnt matter right or wrong, ultimate is win. Others can cursed and sweared, but 'me' matters.

A good read for 2019.

This post has been edited by mini orchard: Nov 13 2019, 07:55 AM

BillCollector

The daughter of the 1st wife offering to sell her baby-foetus-boy's birth-surname-right to your FIL for RM300k could have been a ruse to breakup the marriage of your FIL and MIL, so that the 1st wife could win back your FIL to her side. Team B were betting on the greed and selfishness of your MIL and her Team A to accomplish your MIL's downfall, ie your MIL finally lost her husband of 40 years to the 1st wife.
....... That was why the 1st wife and Team B were willing to take your FIL in, care for him and gave him RM210k, the 1st wife's life savings, to get rid of your MIL and her Team A.

Come Chinese New Year and QingMing in 2020, where will your MIL and her Team A be going.?
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This post has been edited by lurkingaround: Nov 13 2019, 09:34 AM

MONEY > FIL

In 'war', who cares what happens after the great fight.

Love cannot germinate on water and sushine.

This post has been edited by mini orchard: Nov 13 2019, 10:14 AM

You did get me curious there. In previous years for CNY I usually booked myself an air ticket to some European country or volunteered to be working during that time. Was wondering if this year wife would tolerate that.

I decided to ask her if she'd be interested to join me on a holiday to Italy this year, she said CNY this year she will be hosting the reunion dinner at our house, told me the only plan I should be having is to be at home. I asked her her father how, she asked me what about him, he has disowned them so she doesn't care what happens to him and swore she would chase him out with a broom if he dared show up at our house. Said she will invite 2 of her aunts and one uncle to join the reunion dinner and said she will make it to be a very happy one without him. MIL said yes to her plan.

QingMing? Every year 2 weeks before I will borrow a pickup, a power washer and an IBC water tank to clean the tomb stones of my mother's side grandfather and grandmother. Then I place flowers on their tomb stone. Been doing that for the last 11 years and no one knew who was it that cleaned the tomb stones up until 3 years ago one of my cousins saw me. Since then I also place a Union Jack flag on their graves as well. Oh yes, and I do fix all the cracks as well.

As for her grandparents, they are buried at the same cemetery as my grandparents. They both share the same birthday. Since 8 years ago I also would clean their tombstones when I cleaned my own grandparents' ones. I just clean it and that's the end of it till 2 years ago I would bring our son and had a special T-shirt printed for him with their family name on it. I get him to pray for them symbolically and yes she will always claim that she was the one that cleaned it.

However we do honor her grandparents slightly differently and they both have the same birthday, every year the company I own holds its annual dinner on his birthday. It pays homage to him as the founder of the company and the one that started what was once a very good factory. During the years it did not have any of the founding family members we had the tradition that the youngest single female in the office will cut the cake for him. Then 3 years ago my SIL started working in the company and she was the one that cut it. Now my wife and SIL jointly cuts the cake.

Oh well, he only has himself and his ego to blame.

You'd be surprised but earlier I had a conversation with him and he is still under the illusion that he won and won big against the MIL because he cornered her into not being able to claim any further alimony from him and the all important any assets from his company that is now dormant which does own some land most of it are difficult to sell or develop.



Neither cares about the other now that the war is over. MIL thinks she has won the entire war because the children are still on her side and she retained what she wanted.

I guess it is a situation where it is better now than later I suppose?

BillCollector
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https://www.emily2u.com/traditions-chinese-...reunion-dinner/
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https://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/Chin...w-years-eve.htm - Chinese New Year Festivities: New Year’s Eve
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qingming_Festival
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Chinese culture and tradition is very patriarchal, ie not matriarchal, as will be practised by your MIL and Team A in 2020 for CNY Reunion Dinner and QingMing without the presence of your ex-FIL, the ex-patriarch of Team A.
....... IOW, the CNY Reunion Dinner is usually held at a patriarch's house or his appointed restaurant, not at a matriach's house or her appointed restaurant.

Only Chinese sons can carry on Chinese culture and traditions like ancestor worship, not Chinese daughters. Eg during a traditional Chinese funeral, only the eldest male descendant can carry the photo of the deceased ancestor for the funeral procession for burial or cremation, ie not a female descendant.

Of course, if Team A adopts your quite liberal Western culture and forego Chinese culture, then problem solved.
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This post has been edited by lurkingaround: Nov 13 2019, 11:59 PM

Well it appears Team B isn't quite as hot on him as we were under the impression and their decisions aren't as unanimous as we are under the impression off either. Earlier this evening the eldest of Team B contacted me to ask for a return of all their mother's savings.

-Claims there wasn't any deals made.
-The 2nd went to the bank to organize a FD and discovered their mother's account to be near 0.
-They asked their mother what happened and she told them she gave their father money to invest in his own company so he had money to get started with developing the last piece of land he still owns. Said once the land was developed and sold he would give her an extra RM400,000
-When I told her of what he said to me, she said there was no such deal about putting her mother's name on the house title, she said they been trying to get the title from him for the last 30 years so they could get a mortgage to fix the house but he always told them the house was purchased using his father's money therefore they could live there but cannot own it. They are totally unaware he has another condo or another daughter.
-I told her that her mother was too gullible to believe he could turn RM210,000 into RM610,000 and told her if that was indeed the case my MIL would have gladly allowed her condo to be mortgaged to give him that amount of money, told her heck I would have given it to him and told him I would just take RM200,000 no need RM400,000 and I told them we took RM210,000 from him we have no idea where the other RM520,000 he took from her went to as they had to ask him.
-Said the 2nd and youngest sister are very angry at him and want to kick him out of the house, told me I better give them back the money as she couldn't do anything if they kicked him out of the house and she would have no choice but to send him back to us. I told her he would kick them 2 out of the house first before they kicked him out especially now that he can't get the baby's surname to follow his own. Claimed it wasn't an issue if he kicked them as they would take their mother to go live at their own house.
-She asked about his land, I told her I was not at liberty to reveal and they had to ask him, seems he had taken her car and disappeared somewhere. I told her most likely gone to Genting.
-She said she wanted to send him back to the MIL's house and for us to deal with him. I told her he and my MIL are divorcing, she now has no home to take him back as she no longer lives on her own so if they want to kick him out he will be a homeless old man.

I told MIL + wife + SIL that there was an update on him, MIL said she not interested to know and said she is only interested in being a mother to her children and grandmother to her grandchildren. Wife and SIL wanted to know everything, after hearing everything wife said he will not be allowed to enter our house. SIL was disappointed to hear her father had become a scammer and said she found it embarrassing that she has a father like him as well as difficult to find it in her to forgive him. Poor girl... it is really affecting her.


This won't be the first time they are having reunion CNY dinner without him.

Happened twice in the last 12 years. Both times I wasn't present because I used both occasions to disappear abroad (for work purposes)

Oh well either way they don't give that much of a toss for culture especially anything that has an element of male dominance to it.

I think can sell this story for a Cantonese soap opera!

I feel bad for the 1st wife. She gave him her money under false pretenses on his part. He scammed her after she took him in. FIL is irresponsible and makes use of others to solve his problem.

I doubt MIL is going to give the money back. She probably hates the 1st wife's guts.

Remember, I have the 1st right. Lol

A pastor said I was greedy.

So do you still agreed that 50% should be handed by MIL to FIL on a golden plate even though is his legally or do you think he should fight it out the legal way.?

This post has been edited by mini orchard: Nov 14 2019, 09:01 AM

BillCollector

Wow.! ... The 1st wife had RM730k in FD savings. No wonder your ex-FIL went back to her, ie for her money.

So, the sale of Team B's birth-surname-right for RM300k to youe ex-FIL was likely a ruse, to break up the marriage of your ex-FIL and MIL and reunite their mother/1st-wife with your ex-FIL. Now the daughters of Team B regret taking your ex-FIL back because he has "scammed" their mother's RM520k(the RM210k was needed to get rid of your MIL). Team B are stuck with your ex-FIL, for good or for bad.
....... Sometimes, being rich can make a person over-confident. "A rich mind is the devil's playground". "Manusia boleh merancang tetapi Tuhan yang menentukan."

Please update us on what your ex-FIL is doing with the RM520k, the sale of his mistress's condo, Team B and Team A, ie the post-divorce situation.

Seems like now BillCollector has become the "Chinese patriarch" of Team A.
.

So all the while you were saying ......?







MONEY > FIL

Agreed?

This post has been edited by mini orchard: Nov 14 2019, 09:50 AM

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MONEY > MIL

Agreed.?
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Yes, that was sly and slimy of him to con her out of her money that way especially after all the good things they had done for him.

But then it does not surprise me that he had done it, he has long made use of people or found ways and means to manipulate people to solve his shit.

MIL not interested in hearing where or how he got the money, all she knows is the money is better in her pocket than in his.

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MONEY > MIL
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FIL = MIL = both are immoral, greedy, selfish and lawless people who are acting out in desperation at the end of their ropes.

Also, "apples do not fall far from the tree," wrt their progenies.

Agreed.?
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This post has been edited by lurkingaround: Nov 14 2019, 02:23 PM